Yesterday was amazing, the weather was perfect, things with Niall were perfect.[KC1] Life simply felt perfect. After our swim we went back inside the house and whilst Niall prepared lunch I sorted some things out in the bedroom. I decided to unpack the majority of the clothes seeing as they would come in handy next time we visited this island. However right now it’s quiet seeing as Niall is in some sort of interview with the owner of these islands. Niall had told me that they were just finalising some things but it’s almost been 3 hours and I’m getting hungry. My mum checked up on me and was very keen to find out what I had been up to, before she asked I made sure to mention that I was indeed still a virgin. I wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad about it, I got mixed reactions. First she was all ‘that’s good honey keep it safe.’ And then she was all ‘Sex is a good thing to experience in life.’ And don’t worry I did facepalm and whine at her choice of words. Well this is getting awkward, especially since I’m talking to no one. I seriously have no life. Bye
I placed my diary back into my suitcase with all my winter clothes, hmm now what to do. I went back into the loungeroom and got out my phone, and went into my Twitter app. I scrolled through my timeline and favourited a few things and replied to two or three tweets. Next I went through all my mentions and well, I didn’t like what I was reading. I think things are slowly getting to me, I don’t want them to get inside my head but…
“Hey beautiful, sorry it took so long.” I got a surprise as Niall touched my shoulder, I dropped my phone into my lap. I didn’t reply as Niall sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap, with my legs dangling to the one side. “What were you doing?”
“I was on Twitter.” I said softly whilst looking Niall in the eye.
“Yeah? Anything new or interesting?” I shook my head at this, not wanting Niall to worry about me. I also didn’t want to think of what I had read, it wasn’t exactly something I would like to remember. “Why is my Ellie being so quiet?” Niall poked my cheek before kissing it.
“Just tired.” I said, once again really quietly.
“But it’s only 1. What do you want for lunch?”
“What is there?” I asked after once again shrugging my shoulders.
“Not sure, let’s go look.” Before I had a chance to reply Niall had picked me up and was carrying me into the kitchen. I didn’t even bother to demand to be put back on the floor I just let him carry me and that was it.
Niall’s POV
Something was wrong with Ellie, this morning she was loud and talkative but as soon as I got back she was almost silent. There were no protests against me letting her down after I picked her up, she didn’t even care about what we were eating. I wanted to ask what’s up but I didn’t want to push it.
I quickly went through all the food and decided on some chicken wraps. It would only take a few minutes to prepare and so I started getting all the ingredients out.
“What are we having?” Ellie asked, her voice only slightly more cheery.
“I’m thinking Chicken wraps.” I dropped the wraps onto the bench and made my way to the fridge to get out all the fresh produce and of course the chicken.
“Sounds good, want some help?” Ellie said as she took another step towards me.
“Do you really think I could do all of this by myself? No way!” Ellie laughed at this and came towards me and began getting ready.
After 10 minutes of preparing we finally sat down to eat, Ellie was only slightly back to her normal self. She was smiling so that was something.
“What do you want to do today?” I asked once I finished my wrap.
“Anything, as long as I’m with you.”
“That was cheesy.” I winked at Ellie, making her blush furiously. “How about we go out onto the beach, I can bring out a chess set or something.”
“Sure, sounds good. I will be like 5 minutes, I need to pee.” I nodded my head and watched as Ellie walked away from the kitchen area. I smiled to myself before getting up and finding the chess set. I waited patiently out on the couches near the sand, already having the chess set up.
“Guess who?” A pair of hands covered eyes, making me flinch, only to end up laughing at Ellie’s attempt at being a guy.
“Bob!” I said before grabbing her hands and pulling her into my lap. She shrieked and started laughing as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I looked into her eyes, the usual emerald colour a darker one. They weren’t shining like they usually do, they were duller.
“Ready to lose at a game of chess?” Ellie asked, plopping herself on the opposite side of the chess board, knocking over a few of my pieces in the process. “Whoops, your three down already.” She giggled at this before repositioning herself in a more comfortable position.
“I think you’ve been mistaken Ms Stevens, I am the champion at chess.” I held a smug smile on my face before moving my first piece after Ellie had moved hers. Let’s just say Ellie wasn’t lying when she said that I should be ready to lose. She knocked all my pieces out pretty quickly and I was in complete awe.
“How… How did you do that?” I asked, setting up my pieces again.
“I’m just a genius.” Ellie winked, waiting patiently for me to finish setting up again. We played another game which Ellie won, surprise surprise. I give up, she’s the master at chess. I gotta pick up my game if I ever want to beat her.
“What now?” Ellie asked as she dropped her last piece into the bag of which was holding all the pieces.
“We could go for a swim?” I looked out at the water, it was tempting. Ellie shook her head.
“I’m cold enough as it is. How about we watch a movie?” Ellie looked inside, tugging down on her jumper.
“Alright, we’ll do that then. You pick the movie I’ll make some popcorn.” I jumped up, not even bothering to take the chess set inside and lifting Ellie up over my shoulder.
“Niall! Let me down.” Ellie whined, kicking her legs all over the place.
“Nooooooo!” I held onto her tighter and started running inside. I dropped her on the couch and continued in to the kitchen and begun searching the cupboards for the remaining packets of popcorn. When I finally returned with a plastic bowl of popcorn Ellie had a movie on pause. She smirked at me as I plopped down beside her and pulled the blanket over our legs. “What movie is this?” I asked, studying the fairly blank screen.
“It’s a surprise!” Ellie giggled before pressing play on the remote that she kept far away from me. I quickly learned what movie it was; Mean Girls 2. I don’t get it, why do girls love this movie?
“I’m picking the next movie!” I stated after the title appeared on the screen.
“No, you always pick something scary!” Ellie shuddered and leaned into me.
“I won’t this time, I promise.” I smiled at Ellie as I stuck out my pinky, awaiting hers. We linked pinkies and then turned our attention back to the movie.
I was getting restless half way through the movie, I badly wanted to get my phone out and just do anything but watch this movie, the countless times I have watched this movie makes it worse and worse every time. Ellie was smiling at something that just happened in the movie and she stifled a laugh.
“Am I supposed to be laughing at what just happened?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“No, nothing funny happened. I’m laughing at you.” I turned towards her awaiting the reason to her amusement. “The pain in your face is hilarious. I know you hate this movie and I’m just getting so much joy from your reactions.” I couldn’t help but smile at Ellie’s statement. She let out a little giggle as she stopped the movie and came in closer to me, planting a short kiss on my cheek. Before she moved away I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in even closer, almost sitting her on my lap. Before there was time for her to debate against me I pressed my lips against hers and got lost in it.
Ellie’s POV
I don’t know what happened but we somehow ended up on the floor. Our little… Session was interrupted by Niall’s phone going off and there was no use continuing whatever was going on because clearly whatever the call was about it really threw Niall off. I didn’t want to get any further, I have my reasons and I really didn’t want Niall finding out. Niall had gotten up to go to the toilet and left me just sitting here, not knowing what to do. So as any bored person would do I went on my phone and scrolled through my Twitter feed, wincing at every hateful comment I got. I quickly got out of twitter once I heard Niall coming back down the hall and instead went into messages and decided on sending my mum a text.
“What you doing?” Niall asked as he sat down beside me on the floor.
“Texting my mum.” I said bluntly, I could hear that there was no emotion in my voice at all.
“What’s up?” Niall said after quite a few seconds of silence.
“Nothing, what’s up with you?” I spat back, keeping my eyes glued to my screen as I watched the send bar quickly fill. There were quite a few minutes of silence before Niall spoke up.
“It’s New Years Eve tonight, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t care, anything.” I still didn’t look up from my phone, scared of what I would see.
“We could go to a party or something, I’m sure there is some local party around.” Niall suggested. I shrugged my shoulders, really not caring if we went or not. “Look at me Ellie!” Niall said rather sternly. “I don’t know what I’ve done, the least you could do is actually notice that I’m right here!” I shook my head and just got up and left, not wanting to deal with anything at this minute.
I walked straight outside and down to the beach. My pace quickening as I walked along the water with my shoes already in hand. I hadn’t been on a walk around the little island at all and right now it was the only thing to do. I walked even faster when I heard Niall calling my name, I was almost certain that he wouldn’t be able to see me through the tree’s lining the beach. His voice started getting louder and that’s when I realised that he was catching up so I change the direction I was walking and went straight into the tree’s. Once the sand disappeared beneath my feet I put my shoes back on and walked through the patch of trees that seemed to get thicker and thicker.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, continuously signalling that it was a call. Finally it stopped only to start going again, this repeated at least another 3 times before I had enough and turned my phone off, not even bothering to check the time. I had some sense of the time though, it would be about 4 now, seeing as the sun was starting to go down and the air was getting colder.
Finally the sun completely went down and it was freezing outside. I knew it cold at night but I didn’t realise how cold it really would get. I was suddenly very glad that I had chosen to throw a jumper on before the chess game but then again I had to or else… I felt my breath start to hitch and I got dizzy, my mind was all over the place. Just the mere thought of what I had done sent me into a frenzy. My eyes started stinging as I fought to keep the tears back.
Everything was spinning, my head was hurting and my eyes were droopy making my vision blurry. I had collapsed at least 5 minutes ago and my headache wasn’t any better. I felt numb, extremely numb and I just wanted to be home, in my apartment with Mads, not Alex. I wanted to be sitting there, not feeling anything at all, I don’t want to be here anymore. I wish I didn’t go to that family dinner, I wish I had come up with an excuse. Maybe I would still have Mads, I would still be jobless and living my normal sad life. I wish I was back to that, I don’t want to be here.
I kept repeating those words in my head, wishing and wishing that I would just wake up from this dream. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen, this is real. I shut my eyes tightly as I pushed myself up against the tree as I pulled up my left sleeve. I opened my eyes and stared at the small quantity of wounds, and I only wished that I had tripled it, and then tripled it again, and again. I’d be out of this hell then wouldn’t I? I wouldn’t be hated on; I wouldn’t be receiving all the death threats. I’d be gone for good; I would’ve finished off what I tried to do 5 years ago. I should’ve done it then before I let myself fall into this mess, the mess of my life.
“Ellie?” I quickly pulled down the sleeve and looked up to see Niall standing there, in tears. “Why?” was all he said before turning his back on me and walking away. This is what I deserve; I deserve to be left behind. I deserve to be without anyone in my life, the people in my life deserve better than me. They would be better without me anyway, things would be happier that’s for sure. I watched as Niall disappeared into the darkness, the air around me getting even colder as I watched my life slip away. I closed my eyes once again as I felt myself get suddenly really tired and I allowed sleep to take over.
A/N: Ahhhhh, you guys please don't hate me. I know this chapter ended all depressing and what not but I couldn't help myself and write like this... Besides I had to hurry the story along, ITS ALMOST OVER!!!
Are you all happy for the long chapter? Are you? Okay well what are you waiting for, vote!