Feeling content and happy, Jonathan woke up with a smile on his face. It has been a while for him to be this happy. How could he not be? The first thing his eyes saw since he opened it was his lovely goddess, in her sleeping form next to him. This was too good to be true. But Jonathan feel blessed anyway.
At some point, it was so wrong to made love to Siara in the first moment. She's engaged to someone else. It hurt him though, but he couldn't let a moment slip away. If there was a chance, any chance at all, that he could have her back, he would most likely do anything for her. Even it means steal her away from Nicholas Brentley. He already had a point which made him won in the first place. She agreed to made love to him, with her consent. He could have stop if Siara didn't want to but she didn't say anything last night. She actually enjoyed it as much as he did.
The thought if she still move on with Nick after this, hurt him. Jonathan love Siara very much and he couldn't bear another lose. Away from her and his daughter kills him.
He stroked gently her cheek to her jaw. The smooth skin of her enticing him to do just more than caressed her. Jonathan moved his body slightly, approached her slowly. He began to gave Siara kisses, from the side of her temple ran down to her cheek then to side of her lips. Siara stirred a moment before she settled again on her sleep. Jonathan definitely love waking up to this. To just loving her everyday, for the rest of his live.
Jonathan continued his kissed down to Siara's neck and further south to her cleavage. He kept his kisses in there, just the top of her breast. Siara murmured something as she began to woke up from her sleep. Slowly, her eyes opened. She squinted due to the sunlight, but she still caught one familiar face on top of her. Blurry, but Siara knew the person was smiling to her.
"Good morning, Siara."
Then it struck her. It wasn't her fiancé's voice. It was someone else she very knew too. Siara shot her eyes opened to saw Jonathan hovering her while cast her a handsome smile. She suddenly got up from the bed with haste and horror on her eyes. Consciously, she picked her kimono dress and wrapped the material after she put it on with her arms. This made Jonathan confused.
"What is it?" Jonathan asked, "What's wrong?"
Her eyes wandered all of places but Jonathan's eyes. Her voice was suddenly out, she couldn't speak. Not after what happened. Siara was ashamed of herself. She just committed something she wasn't proud of and it was happening a long time ago to her and Jonathan's relationship.
She heard Jonathan sigh, "You regret it."
"How could I not be?" The hurt was evident in Siara's face, "I'm engaged, Jonathan. This thing shouldn't happen."
"If you don't want this, why don't you stop me?"
Siara could only shut her mouth. No matter her mind said it was wrong, her heart wants it. Her heart still love him.
"I-I'm coming home today."
"No, you're not." He growled out.
Jonathan stood up from the bed, all in naked form. He approached her, but Siara made distance to him. This broke Jonathan's heart. How could something so happy last night turned into this? He refused to back down from it.
Jonathan took a step further, "Siara..."
"Stop, just stop where you are." She demand in a crack voice.
"No, I won't." Jonathan shook his head, "I don't want to lose you again. I love you, Siara. I only want you and our daughter in my life."
Siara shook her head, tears began to brimmed in her eyes, "No, please stop."
"I love you, Siara. I want you to come home." He pleaded.
She shook her head again.
"Siara." Now, Jonathan was in front of her. He cupped her cheek in his hand, made her to look directly to him, "Do you love him?"
Siara shut her eyes as tears began streamed down to her face. She never wanted someone to asked this kind of question, especially Jonathan. It was only for her heart to know the real answer.
"Siara." Jonathan demand.
She opened her red eyes as tears still went down to her face, "I-I do."
"What?"
Through her sobs, she answered more loudly, "I do, Jonathan. I do love him."
Jonathan's gripped on her cheek getting more tighten. He leaned forward to kissed her, hard. He snuck his hand to the back of her head, made sure she didn't escape.
"No, Siara, please don't." He said between the kisses, "Please don't do this to me."
"I'm sorry, Jonathan. I'm very sorry."
Though she pleaded to resist his kissed, Jonathan didn't let her go. He kept kissing her like it was the only thing he could live for. He placed his other hand on her hip. He refused to let her go. Siara was his life. He didn't know what to do if Siara went away from him again. He didn't know how to live anymore without her. This past months was hard for him. Hell, it was hard for his family as well. As he kept forcing himself, Siara recognized the salt taste in her tongue. Just then, Sabrina's cries echoed the room. Siara untangle herself from his body.
Her hunch was right. Jonathan was crying as he kissed her. It broke her to saw him like this, but she knew it was to go back. She already said what's been done. Her answered was only half true. She might love Nick, but Siara also still love Jonathan as well. But with Anna and her baby on the view, she can't risk Sabrina's well being between them. She didn't want to split Jonathan's attention, because Siara knew, he would be unfair. He will always choose Sabrina as his first than Anna's baby which this was the last thing that Siara want. Sabrina has Nick, one who was willing enough to take care and loving her unconditionally. One who would do anything without dividing his attention, even though Siara know Nick has another two daughters but they were older enough to take care of themselves.
"I need to feed her." Siara finally said, "Would you mind to wait outside?"
Without await his replied, she turned her body to where Sabrina was. To Jonathan, it wasn't a question nor request. She simply command him to get out from the room. He wanted to be angry, to shouted at her that she shouldn't go. But things has changed. Their relationship has turned sour. No matter what he would do, she will choose Nick over him. It was over for him. He wiped his tears as he put on his pants. Jonathan took a quick glanced at Siara's back before he walked up to the door.
As he opened the door, without turning back, he said, "I will always love you, Siara. No matter how much you choose him over and over again, I won't stop loving you. Just... please, I beg you, think about it."
Then, Jonathan slammed the door, hard.
*****************************
Days after she went back from Jonathan's mansion, Siara still remembered how broke Jonathan was. Especially when she said that she love Nick. Siara guessed, Jonathan would think that she only love Nick, not him as well. But she thought it was for the best. The only reason why she has been holding back to said that she love Jonathan too was because of Anna's baby. If Jonathan choose Siara, Anna's baby would be fatherless and that the last thing she would do. It wasn't about she's playing a hero thing. But the baby didn't know anything about all of this drama. It wasn't the baby's fault. That was the only thing Siara cared about.
As Siara staring at the cityscape of Paris, she felt someone kissing her shoulder. She turned her head a bit to saw Nick gazed at her with curiosity in his eyes.
"What you've been thinking, baby?" He asked as he kept gave her a feather light kiss on her shoulder.
"Nothing," She answered with a smile, "Just admiring the city."
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"It is, honey."
"Just like you and our baby." He whispered.
Nick snuck his arms on her mid body. Now both of them admiring the city with a happy face. After several minutes of silence, Siara opened her mouth.
"Nick?"
He only humming.
"Would you mind if we move forward our wedding?"
Nick's eyebrows furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"What if we're getting married in like, three or four months?"
Siara felt Nick tensed behind her. She turned her body to facing him.
"You sure?" Nick asked, "I mean, we're only has been engaged like a month or so. I don't want to force you if you aren't ready, Siara. I'll wait no matter how long."
"And I don't want to pass this moment as well Nick. We're happy, we have Sabrina, and we're in love." She replied, "I want this."
Nick's eyes widened, "What did you say?"
Siara stared at him to know what he meant. When it clicked her, she smiled, "I love you, Nick."
Silence filled the air. Nick might think this only a dream. He might heard her wrong. He knew Siara will love him someday. But he never expected it today.
"You're quie-"
Her words were cut off when Nick claimed her lips, hard. His kissed were more demanding than ever. Siara couldn't help but moaned.
"You don't know how it turns me on, Siara." He rasped between kisses, "You have no idea."
She sighed, "So is that a yes?"
He broke theirs kisses and stared at her, "Yes, a thousand times."
Nick motion her to wrapped her legs on his waist, she complied. When her legs are secured on him, he brought them to their bedroom. Siara gasped as he tossed her to their king size bed. He hovered her and kissed her again. His hands roamed to her curvy body until it landed on both of her breast. Siara moaned into his mouth.
"Now, show me how much you love me, baby."
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And, that's the end of this chapter. Sorry took you long enough for me to update this, but I already drafting all the chapters left to epilogue.
I literally feel sad about Siara and Jonathan scene on this chapter. So what do you think guys? Is it too fast for Siara to say the L word to Nick?
Next chapter will be up in two days! Ciao!