EDITED!
Addie's P.O.V:
Addie and Ryan made it back up to the room in record time. However, once they actually reached their destination and Ryan had shut the door behind them, Addie began to feel the nerves that she felt before at the river. He carried her over to the bed and laid her down.
She couldn't bring herself to actually look up at Ryan, at least not yet. She really wanted to give herself to him completely, every part of her she wanted him to have. She wanted him to be the one to show her everything there is to know about sexual experiences. She wanted him to be the one to show her everything. She was in love with him, and that alone scared the hell out of her.
They had briefly experienced the ecstasy that he could send her through, but now that there was a chance that she could follow through with all those naughty dreams she's been having, she couldn't seem to make her own body move. He was kissing down her neck as her mind ran wild with thoughts. She wanted to respond to him, that was all she wanted right now, but she couldn’t get the thoughts running through her head to silence long enough for her to react to his touch.
A pair of hands resting on the sides of her face and caused Addie to jump in surprise. She could hear Ryan's musical chuckle ring out from above her, but she still couldn't bring herself to do anything.
"You okay, babe?" his concerned voice asked. Addie was just about to look up and tell him that they did indeed need to go to school, but when she did, her eyes became locked with his big green irises and she couldn't seem to want to be anywhere else but in his arms.
"I'm okay," she whispered softly as she leaned closer to her boyfriend’s god like body. "I'm just nervous is all," she explained as she buried her face in his chest trying to hide her bright red blush that she never could seem to stop when she was around this certain boy. He chuckled softly as he pulled away so he could see her face.
"I love it when you blush," his voice was husky and Addie could feel her core becoming wet with each word he spoke. "And as much as I would love to throw you on that bed and have my way with you, I am not going to push you past your limits. So if all you want to do is lay there and talk, then okay.”
I don't think I could name one guy that would be willing to do what Ryan just offered. "I really want to do everything with you, Ryan. Believe me I do, but I don't think I'm ready for that just yet," she sheepishly responded with her gaze casted down towards the ground and as far away from Ryan's eyes as she could get. She knew that he wasn’t used to being turned down when it came to this, but she didn’t want to rush into this and have it ruin everything. She just couldn’t risk that. She was just waiting for him to turn away from her and leave. But he never did.
"It's okay, Addie. I promise that I'm not mad," he lifted her head with his fingers and leaned in to kiss her gently. "But, whatever you want to do, I'll do that for you."
Addie blushed at his hidden meaning behind his words. She wanted nothing more than to pull him closer to her on that bed and let him send her over the edge again, just as he had the other night at the river. Blushing, she reached up and locked her hand behind his neck. She could feel Ryan's eyes on her, watching her every move. Still, she didn't let herself back out of what she wanted. Not this time.
She pulled his head down closer to hers and took a deep breath. Looking up at Ryan for the first time in what felt like an eternity, she could see nothing more than the want in his eyes. His eyes held such an intensity that it made her want to shiver in want. She wanted to rip his close off and let him take her to another world. She had read books where the girl looked upon her lover’s eyes and saw nothing but lust and want. But when Addie looked into Ryan's eyes, she saw love. She didn’t know if she was seeing right, but she defiantly wasn’t about to question it right now.
He didn't move from his spot above her on the bed. He hovered over here watching her, and waiting for her permission to do anything further. Addie summoned up all the courage she had within her being and raised her hand crooked her finger at him.
Her breath hitched in the back of her throat as he leaned even closer towards her. She couldn't find it in her to breathe out until he was hovering directly over her. Addie couldn't find it within herself to suck in a breath as she looked up at the gorgeous man above her. This is what she wanted. This is what she's always wanted. His head was just a couple inches away and Addie could just feel the anticipation of what was to come.
At a painfully slow rate, Ryan began to lower his head down just enough so that Addie could feel his minty breath fan out over his face. Addie held herself completely still, waiting for his next move. For she was too scared to make any movement herself.
"Addie," she heard his husky voice whisper against her lips, "are you sure you want to do this? You're shaking?" Addie smiled up at him as best as she could, before nodding her head yes. He stilled above her and studied her face for any chance of hesitation, but Addie knew he wouldn't find any.
She wanted him, and even though she knew she wasn't ready to have him completely, she wanted him in any possible way she could have him. She smiled into the kiss as he finally pressed his lips against hers. She had lost count of how many times he had kissed her, but each time felt just like the first. She didn’t know if people ever got used to kissing someone, but every time she was with Ryan she didn’t know what to expect. It was always different and she loved it.
She reached up and curled her fingers in his dark locks and pulled him closer to her, deepening the kiss in the process. She felt his tongue swipe its way across her lips and she groaned as she parted them allowing him the access they were both anxious for.
Addie couldn't even put into words how wonderful he tasted against her tongue. Her chest began to burn as her lungs begged for the oxygen they needed, but Addie wanted nothing more than to never break this kiss. She wanted to lay there and kiss him all day long if he would let her. She just wanted him to be touching her, constantly. She didn’t know if that was healthy to want him this much, but she didn’t care at this moment. This was what she wanted and for the first time in her life, she was going to get what she wanted!
Sensing that air was needed, Ryan moved his lips away from Addie's, only to have them trail up and down her neck. The sensation felt amazing and Addie couldn't contain the moan that escaped from her parted lips when his lips found just the right spot behind her ear.
Ryan kissed, licked, and sucked on that one spot until Addie felt as if she was going to burst. Grabbing his head in her hands she brought his lips back to hers and sighed at the contact. His hand that was previously resting on her hip glided across her stomach and down until the traced the line of her shorts. She knew what was about to happen, and she couldn’t help but smile at the thought of it.
Addie pulled away from the kiss slightly to catch her breath and to look into his green eyes. His eyes bored right back into hers with the same intensity. Slowly, Ryan began to slide his hand beneath the waist band of her shorts. His hand slid beneath her panties in one swift movement and he ran one single finger along her already wet slit. Addie gasped at the contact and couldn't help but buck her hips upward into his touch. She closed her eyes and just allowed herself to enjoy his touch and the slight hum her body gave off.
Ryan leaned down and kissed behind her ear gently as he whispered, "You're so wet for me, baby. Do you have any fucking idea how hot that is?" With every word he move his finger against her aching core. She wanted him to pleasure her further, but she could find her voice to tell him that.
She moaned softly as she felt his finger run over her entrance. Bucking her hips one more time to hopefully let him know it was what she wanted, needed, him to do. Receiving the hint, he pushed his finger slightly in until it was buried about half way inside of her.
She moaned again and rocked her hips against him like she did back at the river. Pushing his finger the rest of the way inside of her, he pulled back and pushed it back in. He pumped his finger in and out of her a painfully slow rate. Too slow for Addie. There was no way she was going to get what she wanted if he kept this up.
"Ryan," she moaned his name out, "faster," she whispered breathless. Ryan nodded his head that was nestled in the crook of her neck and picked up the pace of his finger. Addie's head fell back against the bed as the pleasure rolled throughout her body. She couldn't seem to control the sound that were being emitted from her mouth any longer. She could feel each and every joint in his finger glide against her wall with each pump of his hand.
Addie felt the bottom of her stomach begin to tighten, and just when it felt like she was going to explode, the doorbell rang.
"Ugh! You have got to be kidding me!" Ryan complained into her shoulder. "We can seriously ignore that and continue what we were just doing," he suggested without making any movement to get off of Addie's body. She could still feel him inside her but he wasn’t moving anymore. She could feel that tightness in the pit of her stomach start to fade away with each passing second.
Addie couldn't help but laugh at his comment and lifted her head just enough so that she could press a kiss to his head. "We need to go see who it is. It could be important," she whispered before pushing on his shoulders to remove his weight from her frame.
Reluctantly, they both started to make their way down the stairs and to the front door. Ryan opened the door and was prepared to yell at whoever the hell it was that interrupted his and Addie's time together... but who they saw on the other side of the door shocked them out of all words.
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After the surprise visitor left the house, Ryan made her go pack up her things and he drove them over to his house. Addie hadn’t spoken a word since the door had opened. Addie didn’t even really know what was going on around her, but she faintly heard Ryan explaining that they were going to go to his house and that they should follow them there.
Addie now sat on the couch in Ryan's living room staring at nothing, in complete shock. She couldn't believe who it was at the door, or what they were telling them now. Addie could see the person still talking, and trying to explain everything to Ryan and herself, but she just couldn't bring myself out of this state to hear a single word she was saying.
Addie felt the couch dip down beside her and someone's arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer to them. She could faintly hear Ryan's soothing words as he tried to get through to here, but it was useless. The only thing keeping her from breaking down right then and now was the fact that Ryan was holding her together on the couch. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak, she couldn’t even think of anything else except what she heard when the officer first showed up at her door.
She wanted nothing more than to turn everyone away and not talk to anyone but she knew she couldn't do that to Ryan. Not now, not ever. She needed him to help her through this, but she didn’t even know how anyone was supposed to help when she didn’t feel like being helped.
"Addie," Ryan asked softly, testing the waters. "Baby, I know you're hurting right now, but the officer needs to ask you a couple of questions, okay? Do you think you can talk to her, for me?"
But Addie didn't want to talk to anyone, let alone the officer who just showed up and tore her world apart. She looked up at the lady in the police officer's uniform looking down upon her with such sad eyes that she had to tear her eyes off of her. Addie settled them on Ryan, and hoped that he would realize that she couldn't talk to her right now. He must have picked up on her pleading look, because he sighed and turned back to the lady. Addie faintly heard him telling her that she wasn't going to talk right now and that it would be best if she just left and tried again another time. Addie couldn't help but feel so grateful towards Ryan in that moment. She hadn't even had to say anything, and he just knew what she needed him to do. She leaned a little closer to him as the woman stood up and nodded at the two of them before leaving.
Addie sat within Ryan's arms without saying a word for who knows how long. She just couldn't wrap her mind around what was going on. This was not how this day was supposed to go at all. Ryan tightened his hold on her, trying to get her attention to come back to the real world. Reluctantly, Addie acknowledged him, even though she wished she could turn away forever and just bury herself in the darkness. She wanted to hide away from all the pain and just not have to deal with everyone.
"Adelynne, I'm so sorry, baby. I wish there was something I could do for you to make this not hurt. I need you to talk to me, tell me that what you need," he whispered softly as he rocked our entwined bodies softly back and forth. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it shortly after. She didn't trust her voice right now in this state of mind.
She had cried in front of Ryan before, but it was never something she wanted him to see. They sat in silence for another ten minutes before Addie built up enough courage to speak the words she knew she needed to get out. She had seen what happens when people hold their feelings in and don’t talk about them. It destroys people and she can’t let that happen. Ryan didn’t deserve to have to deal with her when she was like this, and she didn’t really either. She had to talk about it… no matter how hard it would be.
"She's gone," her voice came out sounding broken and weak. "My mother... my aunt… they’re both gone. And it's all my fault," Addie couldn't stop her voice from breaking at the end of her sentence. Tears poured down from her green eyes as the dam broke. She couldn’t stop them once they started, almost like someone turning on the water faucet and then it breaking and not being able to turn back off.
Two strong arms wrapped around her frail body and she buried her face in Ryan's chest and sobbed. She sobbed and sobbed hoping that it would ease some of the pain that she was feeling inside her chest, but nothing was working.
"Shh, shh baby, I'm here," Ryan spoke into her hair as he held her while she cried her tears. "I'm not going anywhere. Just let it out, don't hold it in."
"I-I ca-can't believe th-they're g-gone," she cried out in between her short sobs. The only two people left that were her family were now gone, and Addie knew what happened to them was nobody’s fault except her own. She brought this on her family herself. She just knew that it had to be her father’s doing somehow and why else would he hurt them unless he was trying to get to her? He wouldn’t.
"I know, baby, I know. Just let it all out and let me take care of you," Addie nodded her head and she pushed herself closer to Ryan. He lifted her up off of the couch, only to place her on his lap. Addie curled herself around his body and let him hold her as she continued to cry. She need him right now. He was the only thing holding her together at this point. If he were to let go of her right now, she wouldn’t be able to do anything for herself. She would break.
They sat there for what felt like forever before Addie's sobs slowly turned to quiet sniffles, and then down to just a few silent tears. She wanted to never leave this spot. She wanted Ryan to take her away from all of it and to wake her up and tell her it was all just this nightmare that they were living. But she knew that wasn't going to happen.
"It's my fault they're dead," she whispered softly, almost inaudible. Ryan stiffened behind her as the words spilled past her lips.
"It's not your fault, Adelynne. How could you even think that?" Addie could hear the astonishment in his voice as he questioned how she knew what happened.
"It was my dad. This is because he's in jail... because of me," Addie tried to explain in the least amount of words possible.
"Your father is in jail, Addie. He can't hurt her anymore. You're safe here, with me," he tried to explain, but Addie just shook her head knowing there was no way out of this conversation without explaining everything she knew to Ryan. If he found a way to hurt her mother and aunt, then there was no way he wouldn’t be able to hurt her. Ryan being near her was going to do nothing to stop that, expect get himself hurt.
"Do you remember the guy who broke into the house?" she started off by asking. Ryan nodded in confusion, but remained quiet to allow her to finish. "My dad sent him to do that. My mom and I never really knew what my dad did for a living. All we knew was that he brought home enough money for us to survive. Well, one night my mom was asleep in bed and I went down stairs because I couldn't sleep... I overheard my dad talking on the phone with someone named James.
"He was talking about shipments and all other kinds of shit like that, but I was like ten so I didn't think anything of it. I thought it was simply shipping things that people bought from catalogs or something of the sorts. It wasn't until I turned fifteen that I realized that it was drugs he was shipping. My dad was a drug dealer and he was shipping them around the world to whoever was willing to pay his costs.
"He had a lot of people working for him that came in and out of the house during the times when his shipments would come in. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my dad is a very powerful man, and he was very well respected. If he could just get one phone call out to the right person, he could get nearly anything done that he wanted. Anything like killing his wife and sister-in-law for revenge."
Ryan sat quietly behind her as she finished her explanation. She half expected him to remove her from his lap and walk away because of how screwed up she is. Hell she wouldn’t even blame him at this point. Her life was fucked up and sometimes she wished she could walk away from it herself. But she can’t, and neither did he. He never made one move to leave her. Instead, he just sat there thinking over her words as he held her tightly to his chest.
"Addie, I love you, and I promise that I won't let you get hurt. I know you don't like talking to people, but we need to go tell the police what you just told me. Maybe they can help, you know maybe they have some information on the drug fronts that could tie it to your dad and we can get help tracking down the other guys, or they could limit your father’s visitation rights, or visitors," Ryan explained softly after processing everything.
Addie shook her head frantically. There was no way she was going to be able to tell what she just told Ryan to the police! If her dad ever did get out, or found out that she told anyone, there was no telling what he would do to her. He’s already tried to kill her, if she ratted him out now he would probably do something way worse than anything like that.
"Addie, I know you're scared, but he won't do anything to you. I promise that you'll be safe with me and I know the police will help protect you as well. Just, please, we have to tell them," he pleaded with her.
He turned her around on his lap to where she was straddling him. As she stared into his green eyes, she felt peaceful for the first time in a long time. She knew that Ryan was right and she did need to go tell the police what she just told Ryan, but she was scared.
"Will you go with me?" Ryan nodded his head without any hesitation. "Will you stay with me while I tell them?" she asked as she studied his face for any sign of doubt. There was none.
"Yes, Addie. I will go and stay with you for however long you need me to," he explained before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss against her lips. Addie responded to his touch immediately and kissed him back. This kiss was nothing like what they were doing before the doorbell rang. No, this kiss between them was soft and passionate and full of nothing but love and trust.
Addie pulled away slightly so she could tell him her answer.
"We'll go tomorrow after school," she whispered against his lips before pressing hers back down onto his once again.
She wanted to forget what was going on around her, but she knew she couldn't do that anytime soon. But here in Ryan's arms, she felt like it was just the two of them and that nothing could hurt her. And that is exactly how she wanted it to be.
Her mind kept going back over his words. He had said he loved her.
He loved her, and she loved him. She wanted to tell him how she felt, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave what little bliss she had when she had her lips on his