"We made these memories for ourselves; where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken and time's forever frozen still."
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As I was staring at her, I had some realizations. Looking at her even from afar made me feel contented, seeing her smiling makes my fall so hard, seeing her getting back to her old self makes me realize that even if I get a lifetime it will never be enough to forget her.
She laughs as their conversations starts. Oh god, how is it possible to constantly replaying her laughs in my head? How is it even possible to cheer me up through her smiles knowing that smile isn't for me anymore? How is it possible that she lingers in my whole being? Her smiles, laughs, voice and her touch is a distant memory, that deep down in my heart, wants to feel it again.
Ghaaaaad. This thoughts are driving me crazy! I was on the point where I'm wishing that she won't forget our memories together completely. I'm silently hoping and praying that the memories will never fade; she won't and she can't. I know, simply because I can't forget ours. Every fucking day, the memories are getting louder and stronger. Louder that even my heartbeat can be heard by everyone around me and stronger that even myself can't focus on making new ones, it's shutting me down to mingle to other people. Maybe because this is heart's way of saying that I shouldn't and I don't want to forget them at all.
"Di ba Edward supports Kisses din naman kasi they are friends?" Mama Vice asked. "I wanna hear it from Edward."
They handed me the microphone but before that I looked at her to see her reactions.
"Yes, of course." I proudly said.
I silently sighed because I saw how she shook her head. I know, baby. I know we have to move on and we both know that the only way to do it is by forgetting.
I know, you tried and forced yourself to forget. But believe me when I say, I never tried and forced myself to forget you, us. Because, I can't. I fucking don't want to either.
"Ay si Tony?" Mama Vice said. After she whispered who her crush is.
"Mommy hindi. Wala naman po akong binulong." She defensively said.
She stood up and went to Mama Vice. I saw her smiles and she blushed, oh how I remember how she used to react that whenever I'm around.
"Ang sabi niya "Mommy hindi mo narinig si donny sinabi ko", kaloka 'tong batang 'to." Mama Vice said and made everyone in the studio laugh, except me.
My world stopped when I saw how she denied it. Damn, he got her. He got my girl. I remember how she spoke about him and make all her problems disappeared and give her a big, wide smile.
As soon as their guesting was done, I absentmindedly went to rooftop. This is where we usually go, or whenever we needed some privacy. I sighed when I saw the city lights, how I wish that my life will be as bright as the city light does.
"Hey,"
I looked at my back and I saw her standing there.
I smiled at her, "Hey."
"Still visiting the rooftop, huh?" She teased.
I shrugged my shoulders, "Some things never changed."
She chuckles, "I guess your happy na?"
"At the end of the day, the only choice I have is to stay happy even if fate isn't on my side."
"Hey, don't say that." She said and went on my side. "Happiness isn't based on your fate, Ed."
I sighed. "I am not happy with what I have or whom I have right now."
"Don't say that." She said and shook her head. "Don't rely your happines to the people around you or even on things." She looked at me. "Make yourself happy. I know you can do that, don't seek happiness from other people. It should start within yourself."
I smiled. "Please, don't forget our memories. Don't try to recreate it and continue it with other person."
"Ofcourse, I won't." She said and messed my haird. "Besides, we already created them, and the only thing I want right now is to continue them with the same person I had it for the first time."
I hugged her, "Wait for me to come home, Kisses."