[ ADDISON'S POV ]
I sprayed my last bit of perfume and checked myself in the mirror. I still had 15 minutes before Friendsgiving started.
I looked over towards my night stand and saw a journal. "Writing down your feelings always helps right?" I let out a sigh and clicked my pen then opening the book.
Friendsgiving day, November 23rd.
I don't even know what I feel anymore.
I hate the position I'm in and I hate the position I'm putting the twins into. I love them both, always have and always will.
They are like family to me... well, I guess you don't go around kissing your family and dating them.
Grayson, even with the car reck and forgetting all about me, he is still the exact same person. I still love him but who knows how long I can take it before time slowly dies down.
A week after the crash I would have been willing to drop everything and sacrifice anything just to be with him... but I three weeks later I don't know about that.
That's where Ethan comes in. Never in a million years would o have thought I'd have feelings for Ethan. I don't think I do. I don't know!
"It was always grayson and I So I paid no attention to Ethan in a way that was more than friends... but with Grayson and I being broken up, I've been able to see ethan in that way.
My heart flutters a little bit when I'm around him. His use of words get to me a little more than they used to. We kissed...
I don't want to lead him on. When I'm around him I lose control though. I can't help but feel how I feel when I'm with him.
I know I have feelings for him, but I just can't be with him. He doesn't deserve me... he deserves better. Neither of them deserve me, I'm horrible compared to them. But they don't stop coming to me. They continue to talk and hangout with me. It seems like they don't care about the pain they have to go through, they still need me just like I need them.
Ever since Grayson got into the crash, everything has changed. I cry all the time now, realizing I'm hurting both of them by just breathing.
Everything was so simple before the crash.
Maybe tonight we can try to stir up memories?
I put down the pen as I let out a sigh and grabbed my phone off the charger.
I trotted down the stairs seeing my mom and dad in the kitchen. "Off the the twins house?" My dad asked getting a class cup out of the cabinet.
"Yeah, I'll be home tonight though." I answered.
"Be safe, no drinking!" My mom pointed her finger at me. She knows me too well.
"Bye!" I giggled before walking out the front door. I cut through the grass to walk to their house and saw a bunch of cars already outside of their house.
I rang the doorbell and Maggie opened it. "Hey Addison." She lightly smiled. Things have been awkward between us due to the fact that she was flirting with Ethan then him and I kissed.
I smiled at her not wanting to have any drama tonight, "Hey!"
She let me inside and there was music playing but not at an irritating level. A bunch of our close friends were scattered around with beers in their hands. Sorry mom.
I walked into the kitchen and saw Ethan, Grayson, Claire and Matt talking.
I walked up behind Ethan and Claire who were facing away from me and hugged them from behind. "Hey losers!"
I looked up to Grayson and he smiled.
"Aye! Addison!" Matt put his fist up and I bumped it.
Ethan turned his neck to see me while I was still wrapped around them, "Hey." He blushed.
I let go of them and stood in between them.
"You're wearing them!" Ethan pointed down to my legs.
I grinned looking back up to him, " I guess I thought I'd do you a favor." I shrugged sarcastically.
He rubbed his lips together looked me up and down and then we turned our attention back to everyone else.
"Do you want a drink?" Matt asked pointing to the kitchen counter that had multiple different types of alcohol.
"Yeah thank you!" I smiled as he walked to the table.
"Addison Parker drinks! Wow I didn't think I'd ever see this day again." Claire laughed.
"It's been a while I know I know." I rolled my eyes.
Matt brought me back a mixed drink. "Whats in it?" I stirred the straw into the drink.
"It's just cherry sprite and Malibu mixed." He raised his cup showing that he was having it too.
I took a sip and my taste buds rumbled. "Holy shit this is so good." I swear I was in love.
"Don't get too wasted." Grayson chuckled as he popped open a beer.
I smirked at him drinking the rest of the drink.
He popped his bottom lip out and raised his eyebrows; impressed.
"So when are we having dinner?" Claire asked us.
"After pictures. Do you guys just wanna start now?" Ethan asked us.
We all nodded our heads. He nodded and pushed pause on his music.
"Hey everyone! Come over here we are taking pictures!" Ethan yelled and everyone started walking over to us and began taking pictures.
"Addison let's take one!" Claire took my hand. She handed her phone to Grayson and he watched us through the screen. I wrapped my arm around her waist and and both smiled. His eyes shifted upwards at me after he took it.
"I wanna join!" Maggie came rushing in next to me and Claire and we posed for another one.
Claire took her phone back and we all looked at it. "Awh that's so cute!" Claire squealed.
"Alright Addison. My turn." Matt laughed handing his cup to Maggie. He let his arm hang over my shoulder as I put my hand on my hip and we both smiled.
"Dope! Now will you take one of the boys?" Matt handed me the phone. All 12 of the guys jumped onto the couch laying on each other and I watched Ethan and Grayson smile at the camera.
The flash went off and they all started laughing.
They all started to get up but including ethan but Matt hit Ethans head. "Alright Ethan now it's your turn with Addison." Matt grinned as he pushed Ethan back down onto the couch.
"Addison go!" Claire shoved me onto the couch making me sit right next to him.
"This is so awkward just sitting here." I giggled.
"Here." Ethan grabbed my legs and put them across his legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning my head onto his while his arms wrapped around my waist.
"Awh." A couple of the girls put their hands over their mouths as they gazed at us.
I blushed to myself, feeling my cheeks flush as I kept smiling.
The flash went off and I looked over to Grayson who seemed a little upset.
I felt bad so to make him feel better I directed him, "Come on Gray, lets take one." I got off of ethan and we went by the fire place. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I wrapped both of my arms around his torso and we smiled.
"Okay enough pictures! Let's get eating!"
____
We all danced and swung on each other-spilling our drinks a little bit.
I felt my entire body was warm all the way down to my core. The alcohol was burning in me; I was completely drunk.
Everyone made a circle around Claire as she started twerking. All the guys were going insane and cheering and even the girls were cheering her on.
She made eye contact with me and her eyes went wide as she smiled widely. Oh no.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me in the middle with her and we both started twerking. "Oh shit oh shit!" Shay screamed super fucking loud causing me to laugh.
After the song was over everyone jumped on us and hyped us up. My world began to spin.
[ ETHAN'S POV ]
Everyone jumped onto Addison and Claire and screamed for them. Addison started stumbling looking like she was about to pass out. I put my drink down on the counter and rushed over to her.
"Here I gotcha." I held onto her wrist and her arm. Everyone kept dancing around us as we squeezed through people.
She wrapped her arms around my neck causing me to pick her up bridal style. I walked up to Grayson and Matt and Grayson's eyes went huge, "is she okay?" He put his hand on her stomach.
"Yeah, I'm gonna take her upstairs so she can sleep." I pointed my head towards the stairs.
They nodded and Grayson looked a little uncomfortable but agreed.
I carefully walked her up the stairs making sure to not drop her or hit her.
I bend down so my hand can open the door to my room and I lay her carefully down into my bed. She adjusts herself without opening her eyes. I sit on the edge of the bed and take off her shoes.
I pull the covers over her and make sure she's warm. "Are you warm?" I asked her but she didn't move or answer me.
I get up from the bed and turn I'm about to turn off the lamp when I fell a hand grab my wrist, "ethan."
I look back down to her and her eyebrows are raised while he eyes are drooped.
I sit back down and she lets go of my wrist. I slowly skim my fingers through her soft hair. "Whats wrong?"
She looked down to the edge of the bed as she thought about something, she let out a giant huff as she sat up. "Why do you like me?"
I was in shock but I know she's drunk. I didn't want to admit all my feelings to her while she's drunk. "Everything about you makes me happy."
She stared sadly into blank air.
"Am I a bad person?" She whined.
"No!" I defended her. "Whats making you think that?"
"The fact that it's only been three weeks without Grayson and I already feel something for you." She admit.
She's drunk. She doesn't mean this.
"Just lay down and get some sleep, Addison." I rubbed her cheek with my thumb but she stayed sitting up.
She looked at me in the eyes are her whole face was filled with sorrow and sadness. "I'm not lying ya know."
I let out a sigh then licked the inside of my cheek.
She put her hand onto my neck and she scanned my face. I could see her eyes vibrating showing that she's drunk.
"Drunk words are sober thoughts." She told me.
I looked down and took in a breath of air then turned my eyes to her as she looked at me. "Fuck it, you're not gonna remember this anyways."
I grabbed onto her jawline and connected my lips to hers. She almost immediately kissed me back. My heart was beating faster than it ever fucking has. She was so warm and it spread to me making my lips buzz and my heart flutter.
I pulled away and stared into her eyes. "Goodnight Addison."
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