Here and Gone

37

[ ADDISON'S POV ]

"You what?" I felt a wave is disbelief flow through me. How could he be lying though? Just look at him.

I could tell he has been crying, and this explains why he's been dodging me.

"I didn't mean to. Addison I fucked up so badly." He started to panic.

I stayed quiet holding my arms with my hands as the air suddenly felt freezing. My heart beat was steady, yet I felt like my heart was frying.

"Please say something." His weak words completely broke me.

Anger enraged throughout my entire body. My arms uncrossed from each other. "Leave." I pointed towards his house.

"Addison no, please don't do this." He stepped closer to me with absolutely dread in his voice.

I stepped back to stay away from him. Calmly I took a deep breath in and out, "Grayson." I said sternly. "Go home."

I could feel my heart start to crack slowly; getting prepared to shatter.

He put his hands onto the back of his head as heavy breaths left his mouth, "Addis-"

"Grayson leave damnit!" My voice furiously spat at him while my eyes filled with rage.

He rubbed his lips together as he took another look at me, "I'm- I'm sorry." His weak voice apologized before he walked away into the rain with his head down.

I slowly closed the door, being aware of my fragile heart that was hanging from a tree over the ledge of a cliff.

I slowly walked upstairs as thunder erupted through my house. I walked into my room and shut my door.

My bed consumed me as I fell back onto it. My eyes stared up at the ceiling still trying to add everything together.

Suddenly I felt something. A crack? A sizzle? No. Complete and utter heartbreak.

The air stripped from my lungs and could I no longer breathe in fresh air. It was being stopped by a giant clump in my throat. My eyes started to burn intensely as I felt water streaming down my face.

I curled myself into a ball as my head laid onto my pillow. I felt like I had absolutely no emotion yet my body felt like complete shit.

One after another, tears fell onto my pillow. My mouth didn't open to cry though. The tears were doing it for me.

I brought my hand up by my face and was now face to face with the ring.

So much negativity filled my body just by looking at the round piece of gold.

That's when I finally started to cry. My hands upped my face; hiding me from any vision. My back pumped up and down multiple times as my voice cracked from crying.

I could feel my abs tightening while my body felt hot.

"How could he?" I was so confused. He's the one that made the idea of us; him and I, into a big deal. The ring, the journal.

He has always said that he just wants me to be happy. He failed. He was my happiness.

After long hours of sitting in the same position and none stop crying; I leaned off of my bed. I walked to my closet and pulled out a huge box.

I made this box for one day if I ever died unexpectedly; filling it with things that were most important to me.

I pulled down the box and opened it; the white journal was the first thing. It was on top.

I took it out and started re-reading everything that he has once written. This was a horrible idea, I'm just even more broken now.

I can't even describe the feeling I have. It truly feels like someone killed me. I feel empty, abandoned, betrayed, lied to.

The ring. He broke the promise. He broke everything.

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[ GRAYSON'S POV ]

I opened the door to my house that no longer felt like home.

Ethan's eyes turned towards me. I broke into a cry-bending down near the floor.
My hands covered my face as I pressed my hands tightly onto my eyes.

I heard Ethans crutches moving closer and closer to me. "Gray..." his hand rubbed up and down my back.

"I lost her, again." It hurt my brain hearing the words come out of my own mouth.

He didn't say anything, and I'm glad he didn't. I wouldn't be able to control myself if I heard him talk about how 'it's all gonna be okay' because it's not.

I stood up and Ethan's arms immediately pulled me into a hug. I let a few tears fall onto his shoulder.

"You did the right thing." He calmly told me. "She deserves to know."
I nodded my head as I pulled away from him.

"Now it's just her call." Ethan looked a little devastated by this whole situation.

I scoffed as I looked away from him, "she's done. She hates me, and I don't blame her."

"She doesn't hate yo-" He started but I defensively cut him off.

"Trust me she does. If she didn't, she would have let me explain myself. She's completely done with me, I could see it in her." I put my head down and played with the ring that rested on my finger.

"Give it time. Don't rush or jump to false conclusions okay?" He patted my shoulder.

I nodded and walked upstairs not wanting to continue any conversation or even hold one with anyone.

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FRIDAY
[ ADDISON'S POV]

"It hurts so bad I can't breathe, Emerson." I choked on my own words.
"Oh my god." She pulled me into a hug and I tightly wrapped my arms around her.

"I love him so much. How could he do this to me?" I questioned not understanding what I did to make him so unsatisfied that he felt the need to kiss another girl.

"Sometimes really bad things happen to really great people." She rubbed the tears off my face with her thumbs. "I don't exactly know why, but maybe something good will come out of it."

"I don't even have friends anymore. How is something good gonna come out of this? I lost Claire and Matt. I hate Maggie with all my heart and now I lost the person that meant everything to me." I bit my bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

"You still have me and Ethan!" She looked me in the eye trying to cheer me up.

"I can't go into that house anymore. I can't put myself through that." I told her.

"Well we could always go to my house or even come here to your house." She sent me a soft smile.

"Thank you, Emerson." I bit the inside of my cheek then let out a breath.

"Maybe you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel, see what he has to say." She suggested.

"I'm just scared. I didn't know a person I loved that deeply could put me in this much pain; that scares the living shit out of me." I admit as I looked down to my hands.

"Just think about it okay? I'm gonna go to school and I'll come over right after. You sure you're good here?" She asked me before standing up and wrapping her backpack around her body.

I nodded, "I'll see you after school." I assured her before she left my house.

I have no idea what to do.

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