calum's pov
I didn't know what to do except drive Madison to Michael's. She was in shock and grieving and I was in no position to say no. I would be lying if I said I wanted her to stay with me, but really I had no idea what she was going through. I could hold her in my arms and tell her everything was fine, but in my heart I knew that nothing was fine. She had lost one of her friends who just happened to have cancer, which she also had. He died so suddenly I learned and it made me realize that this could happen to her. It broke my heart when she told me she wanted us to break up. I knew she figured that would fix something, but really that would only make things worse. I was falling in love with her; this girl with a disease that was deteriorating her, but also making her strong. This girl with short brown hair and wore beanies to cover it up. This girl that wore band t-shirts and skinny jeans that were too big because she hadn't gotten around to buying new ones that actually fit. This girl that felt like no one wanted her.
I drove away from Michael's house with a mix of despair and frustration. I banged my fists against the steering wheel at a stop light, letting out my anger. I wanted to be with her, be the one that was consoling her. I hated the fact that I wasn't there and she didn't want me to be. I knew that we hadn't been together for very long, but for some reason I felt like I've known her my whole life.
Pulling into my driveway, I noticed Ellie's car parked on the curb. I groaned not wanting to deal with a happy couple right now. I hurried past them cuddled on the couch watching Captain America, hoping they wouldn't notice me.
"Hey, Cal! Wanna come watch the movie with us? It just started," Ash offered.
No such luck, I thought as I reached the stairs. "Nah. I'm real tired. I think I'm gonna get ready for bed. School tomorrow and everything."
"Alright. Is everything ok?"
"Yep," I called, rushing up the rest of the stairs and practically slamming my door. I grabbed my beats and fell onto my bed. I turned up my music as loud as I could tolerate and a feeling of numbness overcame my body. I sprawled out my hands and legs so I nearly took up my whole queen sized bed. I stared at the blankness of my ceiling and soon it became blurry, an unclear representation of what my life had become. Before Madison entered my life, I knew exactly what I wanted to do: work hard, get good grades, get into med school. But now? Every fiber of my being wanted to be with her at every possible moment and the fact that I could lose her at any possible moment freaked me out. That made me want to spend even more time with her, but I knew she was already getting scared away and now that Luke passed away, everything was changing.
A dark shadow hovered over me and I blinked my eyes, clearing my vision. I yanked off my headphones. "What do you want?" I grumbled.
"Did something happen with Mads?" His tone was laced with concern, but for some reason I didn't want him to care. To me, we weren't really friends anymore. We hadn't been in awhile. And I hated the way he called her Mads. I'm not really sure why, but it made it seem like he had a claim over her or something. It was stupid and I knew he didn't like her, but it still bothered me.
"Luke died," I whispered.
"Luke?" he questioned, sitting on a small open section of the bed.
"A guy she was in chemo with," I explained, not going into any more detail.
"Oh no. Is she ok?"
I shrugged. Honestly, I wanted Ashton to get out of my room and let me drown out my feelings with the loud music. I had no idea if Madison was ok. She was at some guy's house that I barely knew and she was grieving the death of one of her friends.
"Man, that really sucks. Where is she?"
"Michael's."
"Michael?" he questioned again.
I shook my head. This was all too much for me to explain to him. He was too much removed from the situation. "Luke's friend. She wanted to go see him, so I brought her over there."
"If you need anything I'm here ok?"
I ignored him and put my beats back over my ears to shut him out. He ran his hand along my black comforter before standing up and walking out of the room. He shut the door on his way out and I was about to close my eyes to try my best to fall asleep, but something pulled me to check my phone. I propped myself up on my elbow and unlocked it, only to find no new messages. I dropped my phone back on my bed, knowing I shouldn't have expected Madison to text me. I sighed as I closed my heavy lids and hoped that sleep would overcome me soon.
madison's pov
I woke up to Michael's soft snoring and one of his arms gently slung around my waist. I felt the urge to grab his arm and remove it, but I knew that would wake him up and he needed rest. I looked at him and his tear stained cheeks and wished that I could do something, anything. He looked so peaceful right now, with his mouth slightly open and white bleach blonde hair matted to the pillow.
"What are you staring at, Mads?"
I softly giggled, getting caught in the act as he opened his eyes. "Sorry. I didn't want to wake you." MIchael removed his arm from around me and stretched both of his arms above his head, groaning as he did. "I can't believe I actually slept, Maddie," he stated, his voice somber.
"Me either. It feels like tomorrow we're going to go into chemo and he'll be there sitting in his seat, but really it will be empty. Everything just feels so empty," I sighed.
"That's a good way to put it," he nodded. He climbed out the bed, revealing that he was only wearing a pair of boxers. I sucked in a breath at the sight and realized that this was the first time I ever spent the night over at a boys house, regretting that it hadn't been with Calum. I knew this hadn't meant anything, but I still felt like I had betrayed him in a way. I shook my thoughts away and grabbed my phone to check the time seeing that my dad would be here in fifteen minutes.
"I'm gonna go change. My dad will be here soon to pick me up," I told Michael before heading toward the bathroom. I felt bad for leaving him so soon, but he had school. His mom believed in the public school system and he was in some special program that helped him complete his assignments so he could miss when he had chemo or got really sick. Sometimes I wish mom still let me go to school because then I would get the social aspect of it and maybe I would have more friends. Michael didn't respond as he dug through his drawers for some clothes. I padded down the hallway to the bathroom and changed into my clothes from yesterday.
"Here you go," I awkwardly handed Michael his boxers and shirt that I wore to bed and grabbed my phone, finding a text from my dad. "My dad is here. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," he nodded slightly before surprising me by wrapping his arms around me. Michael was much larger than me, practically engulfing my entire being with his hug. I hugged him back and almost started to cry.
"Hang in there and call me if you need to," I said into his chest. "And honestly, your mom shouldn't make you go to school if you're not up to it."
"I need to go. I need to feel some normalcy. The rest of my life isn't normal and this is the only thing that will make anything better," he responded with his eyes shut.
I nodded, surprisingly understanding his words. My lips turned into a half smile before I went out to my dad's cadillac parked in the driveway.
"Hey, kiddo. Are you sure you're doing ok?" He patted my knee as I slammed the door shut.
I threw my head back against the seat in frustration. "Honestly I'm just tired of people asking that and not that many have even asked. I don't know how I feel," I shrugged. "I guess I feel numb and as horrible as it sounds, I'm more worried about this happening to me than Luke having just died."
"Oh, Mads. It's normal to worry about what's going to happen to you. You have cancer, but sweetie Luke didn't have the same kind of cancer you have. Right now you have nothing to worry about. The doctors say that the chemo is working well and we just have to be careful. Ok? Please don't worry yourself too much over this. Just remember the good things about your friend and how much of a blessing he was to have during the time he was with us on earth."
By the time he finished, he was pulling into our driveway and I was in tears. "Thanks dad. You always know what to say." I buried my face into the space between his arm and his chest, sobbing now, rather than crying. "I don't know what I would do without you."
"And me you," he whispered ever so quietly that I don't think I was meant to hear him.
Ok, so i teared up writing this too ): i don't know why i even started this dang story it's making me too emotional. anyway please vote and comment xx zoe