TANYA
6 months later, March 19th, 2015
"Somethin' about the way you smiled at me, just drove me wild.. wish I could know if you're alone, don't wanna cramp yo style."
I sang to my class as I played the piano. After being shy for two months, I finally got used to it and been anxious to sing every chance I got.
"But I can not deny the feel, that I feel when I looked straight into your eyes. Feel my heart beating fast, for the challenge may arise."
I continued, "I wanna know if you feel the way I do.. I do. I wanna know if there's a chance for me and you, and youuu!"
I sang a little louder as I played the hell out of the keys.
"If there's no way, meet me at the bar and say you can't, you can't.. cuz I don't wanna be, don't wanna be unfair to Mr. Man.."
I stopped, that was all I had so far, but from the claps and whistles it seemed to do it job.
"Girl you can blow!" Nina shouted all dramatic and I giggled.
I forgot that I invited her to listen, she's been bugging me all year and I finally decided to just say yeah.
"That was amazing doll." My instructor complimented hugging me and I smiled as I hugged her back.
"Thank you." I chimed and she gave me a wink then walked towards the table and took her seat again to write on the clip board.
"Great job Tanya." Tyreek said walking towards the violin set. Lord was he fairly handsome.
"Girl he fioneee!" She whispered yelled and I giggled agreeing.
"If only you knew." I said and she gave me a look as before I could figure it out I heard Ron voice and I looked around the room.
"I forgot he wanted me to FaceTime him so he could hear.." she said in a please forgive me voice and my mouth dropped.
That was not supposed to be heard by him.. at least not yet.
"If only she knew what?" He asked and I stared at her hoping she'd helped me but she shoved her phone in my hand once we got in the hall.
"Nothing why didn't you just text me like a normal person?" I asked and he winked.
"I'm not yo average guy shorty, you should know that." He replied cockily and I rolled my eyes playfully.
"Whatever." I said staring at him trying see if he gotten a new grill.
"I did, you like it?" He asked reading my thoughts, "It's okay.. I like the original better." I admitted and he smacked his lips.
"My hoes like it so I'ma keep it." He stated and I bit my lip to keep from saying anything.
"Good to kno." I replied and Nina gave me her famous, "Told you so look" causing me to roll my eyes.
"Who was that lil nigga?" He asked raising a brow and I heard Nina giggle.
"We ain't together remember?" I taunted and he licked over his lips nodding. "Bet." He said hanging up and I busted out laughing.
"How he mad I used his own line against him? Nigga ain't care when I got drunk and cried to him two months ago.."
I told Nina as we walked back in our dorm. "Girl that boy likes you, but he ain't done being a hoe, but he don't want you messing with other niggas."
She stopped and I looked at her. "He wants you to be like a wife without the title while he still go out having sex wit any hoe dat opens her legs."
She explained and I nodded understanding.
"I don't play half ass games..I'm getting too old." I added and she busted out laughing at my face.
"Girl you been playing along for forever, you barely let niggas text you, Ron is controlling you and you don't even realize it."
She commented but I disagreed.
"I choose not to, I'm not scared. I keep it simple with how many guys I let get my number."
I told her as I went to my messages and showed her the four simple guys I texted on a friendly level and she looked at me shocked.
"Shane is sexy as hell, how'd you get him?" She asked reading our conversation.
"He met me in the breakfast hall, he took the last orange and I damn near cursed him out." I laughed and she shook her head smiling as she still read through the texts.
"He's cute in a weird way." She stated and I agreed, he wasn't weird to me cuz we liked the same stuff, but Nina just like dope boys.
"Yes Ron?" I answered his FaceTime. "Damn you wasn't even gon call a nigga back?" He asked and I shook my head.
I took a seat in the kitchen and picked up an oatmeal raisin cookie and bit into it.
"You didn't even congratulate me or anything, you just got jealous ova' little shit." I added as I bit into it again.
"You ain't give me a chance." He defended and I rolled my eyes.
"You had enough time but you were worried about one simple thing I said, guess that was more important." I said with a shrug.
"Here you go." He stressed, "Here I go, you ever think you are the cause of the arguments? I don't be doing shit but chilling by my lonesome B, you got da game fucked."
I announced mocking his lingo and he licked over his lips and smirked. "That's my bitch!" Nina cheered before she walked towards the bathroom.
"You got dat." He said staring at me with this unreadable face. "I always do." I added picking up another cookie.
"Ma?" He called and I looked at him. "Was da' song about me?" He asked the question I hoped he didn't.
"How's life on the dark side?" I questioned changing the subject and he laughed.
"It's cool, answer my question." He demanded and I winked at him.
"Mind your business." I said and he eyed me. "I think I need fuck dat' new attitude out of you." He said calmly causing me to choke on my cookie and he busted out laughing.
"Asshole!" I shrieked wiping my mouth and hands off. "Nah but for real.. was it?" He asked again and I bit my lip nervously.
"Can I answer when I'm done working on it?" I pleaded. "I guess." He mumbled lighting a blunt and I watched his movements closely.
"I miss you Tanya.." he revealed catching me off guard some. "You just told me you was having sex with some random two weeks ago."
I said mad confused.
"So?" He stated and I rolled my eyes. "I got love for you and you kno dat.. I miss you and I can be a man about my shit."
He said as he took a long drag of the blunt. "Six seconds.." I thought to myself as I counted how long he could inhale the blunt.
"You miss me?" He asked and I pretended not to hear him.
"My dad wants me to meet him after the anniversary of my moms death.." I spoke softly as I looked at the chain around his neck.
"You saw him for Christmas that should be enough." He said and I shrugged.
"I kinda miss him.. I'll see what he wants." I told him and he shook his head, he hated whenever I brung my dad up.
"Do you." He mumbled puffing on the blunt some more this time he blew the smoke out through his nostrils.
"I love you shorty." He said in a relaxed tone, I swear my heart was racing a mile a second. "You ain't gotta say it back, I kno you love me too, but you too scared to admit it.."
He paused to take another hit.
"It's cool tho, long as you kno I love you and I mean it." He went on and then it just got quiet.
I spent the next fifteen minutes deep in thought as I watched him smoke two more blunts.
"I'ma call you lata' I gotta make a run." He said throwing on a black sweater.
"Alright." I mumbled biting my lip nervously. "I'm cool about earlier shorty, don't sweat it." He assured and I nodded.
"Call me later Ron, don't forget." I said and he nodded before ending the call. "He love you." Nina said from behind scaring me.
"I don't think so." I admitted and she gave me a look. "He does and I think it's cute that he admitted to being an asshole but know he wants you.. even though y'all both seem like y'all got a lot on y'all hands."
She said reading me and I twisted my lips. "We said I love you like on friend levels.. but this one sounded different." I told her and she gave me a duh look.
"He's not done being a man whore, but he also know he wants you, but he can't have you.. at least not right now until he changes his ways."
She explained and I took a minute to let it sink in.
"I mean that sound accurate but I doubt it, I'll just let this lil confusion thing play out." I told her as I got up to go shower.
I had some deep thinking to do and I had to finish the song.. I think I figured out the rest of the lyrics..
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Precious Sounds Night Club
"Ok so we have an surprising guest dat wants to sing for us in a few are you guys ready?!" Joe the host asked referring to me and the crowd clapped.
I invited Nina for support and plus I needed someone's hand to squeeze while I sat her ready to run for the hills
"You're gonna do good ma, I know it." She encouraged and I looked at her ready to dip. "Calm down Tanya, you got dis, trust me." She stated rubbing my arm and I inhaled deeply.
"Ok I can do this." I mumbled standing up and disappearing into the back making sure I wasn't seen.
"You ready?" Joe asked just as the last performer was finishing up. "No but yeah" I admitted and he chuckled.
"You got this, I heard you sing, your voice is heaven sent jus' close your eyes and picture the person you love the most there." He coached and I nodded taking in his words.
"Alright.. I'm ready." I told him shaking my hands off, he winked at me then left out to do his famous intro that he did for all his performers.
I coached myself for what seemed like forever until I heard him say my name and I blew out a breath then counted my steps to ease my nervousness.
When I walked out on stage the crowd clapped like we always did whenever someone was getting ready to perform.
"You got this." He whispered rubbing my shoulder before he disappeared behind the curtain.
"Hi." I spoke shyly and they spoke back. "This is a song I wrote called "Mr. Man.." it was inspired by someone special to me." I announced and they looked at me awaiting my next move.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I hope you hear me mama." I whispered, I cleared my throat and closed my eyes and began tapping my finger against my knee.
"Somethin' about the way you smiled at me jus' drove me wild. Wish I could know if you're alone, don't want to cramp yo style."
I sang smoothly, "But I cannot deny the feel that I feel, when I looked straight into your eyes. Feel my heart beating fast for the challenge may arise.."
I continued, I closed my eyes once I started getting into the song and plus I was still nervous.
The tapping on my knee was a dead give away.
"I wanna know if you feel the way I do, I do.. I wanna know if there's a chance for me and you, and youuu."
I made it to the last few verses and when I opened my eyes I damn near stuttered.
"Cause I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, Unfair to Mr. Man.."
I spoke the last words staring at him and my heart was damn near beating out my damn body.
I'm sure if Joe was near me, he would see it. I quickly bowed then rushed off once everyone started clapping and cheering.
What the hell was he doing here? Why was he here? Did Nina set this up and didn't ask me? Yeah I'm almost sure of it..
Damn that was NOT meant for him to hear.. at least not yet.
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