Steady arms wrapped around me, my face pressed into familiar coarse fabric, one hand on the back of my head.
I couldn't breathe. I grabbed onto whatever I could find, fistfuls of material being pulled by my hands.
I felt light headed and sweaty. It was hardly an immediate concern. My mind rattled with Ella's words, her face distorting behind my eyelids. I squeezed them harder, willing her to disappear.
"Shh. It's alright. It was only a dream." The whisper met my ear, it was pained and so very sad. Shaking.
I wasn't used to that.
It had always been so strong, so certain.
I swallowed thickly. My throat hurt. I had been screaming again. I began to calm, taking in my surroundings.
Another flash of that Cheshire Cat smile. I gasped, tugging again on the coat I was holding. My eyes shot open. I couldn't close my eyes. I couldn't sleep. I was far more tired than when I had initially gone to bed, but I couldn't let sleep take me. I wouldn't.
Lips pressed to my forehead returned me to reality. "Just a bad dream."
I nodded slowly, taking steadying breaths. "She's in my head." I managed, my voice cracking. "She's everywhere."
I forced myself to look up at him, to meet his eyes. "Don't marry her. Please. Anything but that."
He sighed. "Miss Gra-"
I couldn't help the sob that escaped me. "Come back," I cried, leaning my forehead on his chest. "Come back to me. Don't leave again." He held me as I shook. Grief taking over my entire body. "I need you. Don't go. Please, don't go."
He lifted my face to meet his. "I won't marry her." He stated, his voice quiet. "Though I cannot stay. It isn't right."
I clenched my eyes shut. My heart tearing all over again. "What did they do to you?" I asked. "In Azkaban, what did they do?"
He took a steadying breath. "They made me see reason."
I felt as though I had been stabbed. His words were a knife to my chest, twisting and turning. "You told me I would never lose you. That we had all the time in the world."
I wanted to push him away, but his arms were locked around me, holding me still. His eyes slid shut. "I have played this game before. I refuse to allow it to play out a sit already has. I will not ruin another young woman's life."
He stood, trying to leave. I reached out, taking his hand. "You aren't ruining anything! Ella used you for your money. I chose you. I love you."
He shook his head. "I don't know where you heard that, though I can assure you that your emotions are out of control. You aren't thinking properly. You are distressed. You do not mean what you are saying."
I swallowed thickly. I had to be rational. "Lady Malfoy told me. The night of the dinner party."
He sneered. "That woman is wicked. She would do anything to tarnish the reputation of anyone other than her own family."
I shook my head. How could he be so blinded? "She's the one who told Ella about the Prince fortune in the first place. She set you up! Ask her yourself if you don't believe me."
He froze as soon as I mentioned his inheritance. His jaw clenched. "What fortune? How did you find out?"
I raked a hand through my hair, pushing it back. "She told me. Aphrodite Malfoy told me. She said she'd do anything to get her hands on your family's money."
He flinched at my words. "How do I know she hasn't convinced you to try the same?"
I couldn't help the son that escaped me. "Why would I do that? Severus, I love you. Am in love with you. I've never been in love with anyone before. I don't give a rat's arse about money. I didn't even know it existed until she brought it up. I don't care. I love you. Your little girls." I took a shuddering breath. "Your little family makes me feel more at home than anything since I had to leave my parents. Since I had to erase their minds."
He shook his head, avoiding my eyes. "You are clearly not strong enough for this post. I shall speak to Minerva about replacing you with someone with stronger will. Someone less... emotional."
I couldn't recall having been more hurt by his words. "You heartless man! That's your solution? To get rid of me. You do realise I am homeless."
He clenched his jaw. "This is unprofessional. It is against the rules. We had an agreement."
I ran a hand across my face, wiping away my tears. "That was before you kissed me Christmas Eve." He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "Don't you dare say you were under the influence. You hadn't touched a drop of alcohol that night. Severus Snape, don't you dare lie to me. You said you wouldn't let me go anytime soon."
There was the slightest flush of red in his cheeks, his face menacing, his stance looming. His tone was dark, ominous. "Enough. That's enough."
"Sev-"
"ENOUGH!" He bellowed. The imposing man took a steadying breath, settling himself. His mask of cool returned to his face. "This discussion is over. As soon as you feel well enough, you will escort the Slytherins back to their dorms. They have cleared the school."
I frowned. "But Ella..."
He raised an eyebrow. "Is not here."
With that, he left, his cloak swirling behind him as he shut the door forcefully. I felt weak. Completely drained by the argument.
Making a judgment call, I pulled myself out of his massive bed and ran up the stairs to the seventh floor.
Madam Pomfrey would be able to help.
She welcomed me with open arms. She was tending to a student who had most unfortunately broken his arm in the rush to get to the Great Hall. "Ah, my dear, good to see you up and about."
I smiled sheepishly. I hated asking things of her. She was always so very busy. Really, this could wait, but I was too impatient to choose the respectful thing to do. "You said you ran a few tests? Could you maybe tell me the results?"
She nodded, disappearing into her office for a moment to fetch her clipboard with my notes. "It says here you're in perfect health, dearie. Though you do have elevated levels of stress, though that is perfectly understandable given the situation. This whole business has caused a stir."
I but my lip. Gods, how was I going to say this. "Say, um... You didn't, by any chance, perform a pregnancy diagnostic?"
Her eyes widened. "Heavens, no. Though I should have, I suppose. Protocol does call for it. I figured it wouldn't be an issue seeing as you are no longer seeing Mr Weasley, but of course, that means nothing." I wanted her to quit her rambling and get on with it so that I could have a solid answer, but I couldn't come off as rude. Not to the lovely Healer. "It would certainly explain the symptoms. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?"
She had me lay in a cot, waving her wand over my abdomen, muttering under her breath.
The look of shock registered on her face was the last thing I wanted to see. "I am, aren't I?"
She nodded, offering me her hand to help me sit up. My shoulders slumped, hands covering my face. I was going to be homeless, raising a baby on my own.
I suppose I could always go back to the Weasleys... Molly had said they would always welcome me with open arms, no matter the circumstance. Though, I had a feeling that was before I ran from the altar and off to Hogwarts without so much as a goodbye.
I'd write her. She'd be able to tell me what I should do.
Poppy cleared her throat softly, brushing back my curls. "In case you'd like to know, you're about 6 weeks in." She caught the disappointment on my face. "You know, it isn't too late to terminate the pregnancy..."
I held my head in my hands. "It's what I should do, isn't it? I can't have a baby. Snape wants to sack me, I'll be homeless and unemployed. Those are terrible odds." I sighed. "I don't understand. I took a contraceptive potion every time."
She shrugged. "They aren't always 100% effective, Hermione. You know that."
I laughed humourlessly. "What are the odds that the same thing happens twice to a man?"
She tilted her head. "Sorry, what was that?"
I shook my head, waving it off. "Nothing." I mumbled. "Could you do my a really big favour?"
She nodded. "Anything."
"Please don't tell anyone. At least until I figure things out."