Chapter 43
December 16, 2024
Every now and then, small bits of my memory comes back to me in flashbacks. They all seem to be memories of my sons and happy memories of Braxton. It's been a month since I last saw Braxton, I cannot recall any of the abusive things he has done to me. No one mentions it because that's the reason why I was in therapy in the first place.
Shane is here almost every day to talk to me and just hang out. In my brain, I couldn't see him in a romantic way, only in a friendly way. He has tried to make passes at me, try to kiss me but I dodge it. The other day I told him the truth, I no longer saw myself being in a relationship with him. The look in his eyes made me feel terrible. I'm glad I told him either way, I didn't want to live a lie. He understands and is willing to be friends but I know that won't stay that way.
Dawson loves Shane as if he was his father, always playing with him and being close. I didn't know about Braxton, I would love to be with him again. I think about it every day, all the things we used to do together now it's gone. My brother says that Dawson despises Braxton more than anything else on this earth, I don't understand what I'm going to do.
I glanced outside from the window in my room. The whole property was covered in white snow as well as the trees. Dawson wanted to go out and build a snowman but the snow wasn't strong enough for that. It would have fallen apart in his hands if he tried to make a snowball. I yawned loudly into my hand, it was around 5 p. m. and I was exhausted. I haven't been able to sleep the past couple of nights and the reason remains unknown. I would twist and turn, trying to get comfortable but would never succeed. My thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Was someone supposed to come over today? The only other people in the house was me, the boys, Xavier, Jackson and Shane. My brother and Jackson refuse to leave the house, they didn't want me to be alone.
I moved away from the window and went to open the door. Braxton stood in a hoodie that was sleeveless and a pair of jeans. It was freezing outside, how could he possibly wear that? I didn't even like opening the front door. That's the one downside of New Jersey, the winters were wicked. The school would close so often due to the ice on the road which caused the kids to stay in school until late June. He grinned at me as his bare arms enclosed me in a wonderful hug. Being in his arms again felt so right and I had missed the sensation. "Jade is it alright if I eat the-" Xavier started to say while holding a container of food until he saw Braxton. He stopped in the middle of his sentence and stood there in shock after dropping the food which made a loud bang. His eyes were concentrated on my husband for quite some time.
He finally spoke again, "what the actual fuck is going on? Jade, did you poison me? Am I seeing things, I didn't take any shrooms-" I cut Xavier before he confused himself even further.
Instead, Braxton decided to joke around with my brother. "I'm actually here, Xavier. Sad to see me?" He teased and walked up to him then gave him a bro hug. Xavier stood completely still, not knowing what to do. So many thoughts were flowing through his head, he couldn't piece the situation together.
"Of course I'm happy to see you, just very shocked. You are supposed to be 6 feet under for over 6 months," Xavier stated. My husband let out a small laugh until he saw another body appear in the doorway.
"Let me guess, this is Shane?" Braxton asked me. I nodded. He walked over to him and stuck his hand out to shake Shane's hand. "Nice to meet you, Shane. You probably know me, Braxton, Jade's husband."
My ex-boyfriend's face scrunched up in confusion. "I was told you were dead. If I would have known you were still around I wouldn't have dated her. I'm sorry." Shane apologized to Braxton who was much taller than him.
"It's okay. Everyone thought I was dead but now I'm back. I was actually in rehab for those months, changing who I was. I'm better now so that's why I came back. For Jade and my sons." Braxton walked back to me and grabbed my hand, I enclosed myself in his warm body. When our bodies touched, I didn't feel the spark that we always had. The flare was gone, now, his touch felt like nothin to me. I slowly pulled my hand out of his grasp. "I'm ready to be the husband that Jade deserves and the father that my kids need."
Finally, Jackson waltzed into the room. "What is all the ruckus? I'm hungry- oh shit, he's back," he groaned. "Here I am, having a good time while you were gone, silly me." Jackson gave him a sour face that made me want to pull my hair out. I didn't want a fight to break out in the house when the boys were here.
"I see that you missed me, Jackson," Braxton said sarcastically. My heart fluttered a little with happiness, Braxton didn't start a fight. Back in high school, he would hit anyone who spoke to him that way. He seemed relatively calm at the moment even though Jackson was taking shots at him being back. "It's nice to see you, Jackson."
My friend gave him an uneasy look, "what? The Braxton Russo isn't going to start a fight? Wow, someone grab a camera! And write it on the calendar!" Jackson yelled which echoed through the house. My hand found its way up to my forehand, pressing my temples. I was receiving a headache from Jackson. He always picked a fight with Braxton whenever he could.
"I'm different now." My husband said calmly.
"Jackson, please keep your voice down," I asked not wanting the boys to hear what was going on but it was too late when Dawson ran into the room.
"Mommy, are you okay?" He asked, giving me concerned eyes until he sees his father standing next to me. Dawson moves behind Shane's legs but his eyes don't move away from Braxton. "Why is daddy here?"
"He came back to be with us again." I faked smiled. Despite the fact that Braxton was legally my husband, I didn't feel any love for him. I didn't want him back. I made so much progress to get over him and to forget about what he's done. I didn't want to take steps back in my therapy.
Dawson shook his head as he quietly stood behind Shane. "No."
"Dawson, he's different. Your father is better. Can you please come here?" I asked. His eyes widened with fear but walked slowly towards me. He knows I would never hurt him like that. I pulled him close to me and whispered, "please trust me. If he does anything he will never come back, okay? I would never let anything happen to you and we both know that. Do you trust me?" He pulled away slightly to stare at me in the eye and nodded. I vow to myself that if Braxton ever laid a hand on any of us he would never see any of us again.
I picked up my son and stood next to his father again. Braxton raised his hand to touch his son's hair but the little boy flinched. I understood he needed to get used to his dad again after being apart for so long and having to deal with painful memories. "I missed you, kid." Braxton reached out to hold him, Dawson nodded and sat in his arms. "I'm sorry, son. Please forgive me. I promise I will be here like I'm supposed to." He declared as small droplets leaked from his deep blue eyes. The little boy gave up and wrapped his arms around his dad's neck, enjoying the embrace.
Shane and Jackson stood in the doorway, not knowing what to do. They both stared at the scene with sad eyes like they were disappointed. Jackson kept his hard eyes on Braxton like if he kept his eyes trained on him he would drop dead. I stared at Shane, I felt a weight at the bottom of my stomach. I felt terrible for putting him through so much. I had strong feelings for him and I still do. In the back of my head, I knew Braxton and I weren't going to get back together. He was here for forgiveness and that's all he was going to receive.
Xavier smiled happily, he knew no matter what happens, I will always have my family by my side.
Everyone makes mistakes but some are able to make up for them.
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Quick question, should I end this book right here? I was going to go on but a lot of time would pass and it would be focused on one of their sons.
Should I just make a separate book and complete this one? Comment your opinions.
Honestly, I feel like I lost touch with this book. The feelings I had for this book has somewhat demolished. My head has been more focused on my other book, The Quiet. In my personal opinion, I think my writing is more descriptive and shows more emotion in the other story.
The book's summary is,
Her fingers curled as her eyes finished one of the many pages of her book. He stared at her from a far distance.
He was new and didn't know her. Yet he always came back to watch her read a book at the local library every day. Whenever she was about to get up, the boy bolted so she wouldn't be able to see him.
His name was Nathan Carter, a new sophomore in the little town of Psychoville. The beautiful girl was Athena Adams, a sophomore as well but has been in the town all of her life. She was known for many things, mostly for her eyes. Nathan has never looked her in the eyes before when he does, his heart stops.
The teenage boy was very quiet, too shy to speak to her. Until one day, he finds her in the woods, writing. After that, their rollercoaster of a life begins.
Please check it out if you have time.
I update every 5-6 days and the chapters are about 1200-1500 words for the most part. I hope anyone who reads it, enjoys it :)
-T