Kim Hae-Ju
The following morning into work, I was surprised by the sight of files on my desk, all cases completed as they should. To the side sat a letter addressed to me.
I can't say I am sorry for being truthful, but I do apologize for leaving at random. Everything has been done that I have been asked to do. - Dalnim
Before I could make up my mind of what to say, Ae-Ra came in the room with a smile on her face. In a rush, I wrinkled up the note and placed it in my pant pocket, before giving Ae-Ra my attention
" Oppa!" She cheered with a letter in her hand.
" You are looking at a designer for the light festival next weekend, of course, there are other designers but I, Me, agh jinja oppa I can't believe I made it. " She went on. I couldn't help but smile along as a reflection of the joy she released.
" My Ae-Ra I knew you could do it, you were always a smart one, you were always creative." I seemed to have ranted. Her cheeks softly turned a cotton candy rose, as she hid underneath her honey brown hair.
" You are still shy as ever." I teased as I stuck out my hand a caressed her cheeks, after the shy woman before me, came from hiding behind her hair, I quickly planted a kiss on her lips, causing her to be a bit taken aback, but even so, she wasn't slow to return the favor.
We became so lost in one another's eyes so much so that the turning of the door knob, wasn't heard, only the low-tone clearing of a throat. Ae-Ra quickly turned around and backed away from me at the sight of my father.
" You are his practically his wife to be, why hide, Ae-Ra " he laughed. Ae-Ra chuckled, and as she pressed one hand in the other, whispered " Ye father-in-law." She gave an innocent smile causing my father to return the same smile with a soft nod of approval.
" Now, Hae-Ju how has the work come along?" He then asked me while he took steps to my desk before anything could be said he had already flipped through pages in the files that sat at on the top of my desk.
" Ah, you must really want to impress your fiance, look at all this month's work done.
" Father-" I managed to say tried to interrupt but rather than stop to hear what I had to say he continued.
" At this rate, you being named as my successor would be a choice understood by many. With that matter at hand, I can gladly say, we can probably check out your mother from the hospital once that is all set and stone, rather than watch you like a child I can take care of your mother, outside those hospital walls.' My father said. At the mention of my mother, I no longer wanted to correct my father, countless times he had said that my promotion to fill his place would be the result of my mother returning home, but only now I understood why he had said that so often.
When I was about ten years old, I was doing as many kids my age did, playing around in my backyard, with the neighborhood children. We went about as mad men pretending to be planes and fishermen things as such. Only for it all to come to a halt by a phone call my father received. He then asked all the kids to go home, promised me that he would return as soon as he could, only for him to come back two days later.
For two weeks it was that way, he went back and forth between work and aid to my mother. eventually, by word of the maids speaking among one another, I heard them say that my mother was in the hospital. I assumed it was just another one of her headaches; I knew how bad they had gotten but this time that wasn't the case.
By the third week, my mother came home, only to return to the hospital and transferred to the emergency watch station because she tried to kill herself. Since I was ten years old that has been how things worked, for 17 years my mother stayed in the mental health department, receiving limited visitation. It wasn't until that moment of affection my father displayed that made me understood why he was so hard on me about bettering myself. It was simply so that without me to worry about; he would be able to take my mother out of the hospital.
As he spoke, unknowing I was still in thought until I slowly returned to reality and heard his finishing words. " Right, Hae-Ju? " he asked. " Ye, yes father. " I responded. With that, he nodded his head and left the room.
" Ah, oppa how was the visit to your mother?" Ae-Ra asked. I turned to her and sighed helplessly.
" Let's talk about it another time, for now, why don't we just schedule dinner tonight for your big achievements? " I suggested. She nodded her head and with a half smile gave me a kiss.
Before she left, she grabbed onto my blue buttoned up shirt as she seductively straightened it out. " oppa... I know it is hard for you to talk about your mother to anyone, but we have been together for too long for you to not say anything to me, I kinda feel like you don't trust me or if you did wouldn't you tell me by now?" She seemed to whine, in an effort to make me feel guilty.
" If there was anything to say I would, but there isn't, Ae-Ra. Before anyone when I need to get it off my chest I would tell you" I responded. She batted her eyes a little then nodded her as she softly pats my chest.
" araso, alright if you say so, oppa. Just remember that I am always here if you do, okay?" She asked, waiting for my confirmation with her eyes. With a nod and a toothy grin, I agreed.
After she said what she needed to say she elegantly walked away as she moved her hips in motion to show off the tight black dress she wore.
Ae-Ra left the door slightly open causing the sound of busy footsteps to circle about my office, reluctantly I walked over to close it only to find Dalnim walking past the room towards her office. She turned to me bowed quickly, then she began to walk away.
The day soon came to an end and Dalnim had yet to speak to me all day, after that, a week went by, pretty soon in a matter of a month the only words shared to me by Dalnim, was a "hello" and " here are your files." That was something she said every other day after bringing me coffee. She limited her interaction which only made me more, and more uncomfortable.
It dwelled on me that she had no trouble acting as she did, but as for me, I grew annoyed by it, It was an aching feeling to be around her and not receiving even a glance. So one evening after work I made up my mind to find a way to have her speak to me, as naive as the idea was, it was even more primitive to have to say that I didn't speak to my own secretary.
And so as I was walking out for the night, I stopped by her office and said: " Dalnim, there is a work gathering tonight, all new workers are required to be there, it is a small party at 7 pm in the karaoke bar across the street, you should come by if you have nothing too important going on." She looked up once, nodded her head then proceeded to the work before her.
" Those that don't show up get fired" I added as if a twelve-year-old preteen in search of amusement. She scoffed and continued to do her work not paying mind.
When evening came I sat in one of the booths at the bar awaiting the arrival of Dalnim, which finally occurred. The image of Dalnim walking through the door was a sight to see, simply because the moment she saw it was just me, just turned around and walked out the door.
" Agh jinja" I softly barked as I went after her. " You sure know how to hold a grudge Miss Dalnim. " I said as I grabbed ahold of her hand. She turned around causing the red, long sleeve jumpsuit that she wore to ruffle in the evening wind.
" Just one drink with me. " I begged. She sighed and adjusted her bag onto her shoulder as we returned to the bar.
We were finally seated, as I ordered drinks she looked about the room meeting the eyes of those that were glaring. " Don't give them your attention and they will get tired of staring." I said to her as I poured the soju in a cup.
" I am the chairman's son, after all, they watch me like a hawk too. They sit awaiting my fall on a daily basis. "
" You were handed that fame along with your money, didn't you see the fine print? with money there is attention, but at least for you, it's that way. I would rather be seen in a light on the news, having people wait for my fall and never giving it to them, instead of people already thinking I have fallen, and already not being given the chance to prove otherwise just because I am bit more dark in color." She mumbled quietly.
" You're not wrong, but is that so bad? I mean doesn't it just give credit to the revelation that there many idiots in the world? If there are so many idiots wouldn't make it easier for people who actually think to move up?" I asked after I took another sip.
" Or the fact that there are so many idiots it is understandable why so many people think that way, essentially meaning idiots rule the world. " She corrected me as she opened another bottle.
I sighed after I gave a warm chuckle and I looked at her "I guess you are right, but you know the main reason they stare at me? " I asked her. She shook her head and gave me a peculiar drunken stare, that oddly looked caring at the same time. I couldn't help but finish my thought.
" They want to know about how the rich boy is doing after his mom went crazy after his mom tried to kill herself. That's why they stare at me, waiting for when things will get so bad for me that I would just go mad and try to kill myself too. If I would end up in the hospital living off pills for happiness as she does." I scoffed. I grabbed a glass of soju and drank it till my head ached, then I set it down on the table to meet Dalnim's eyes as they stared into mine.
" You're judging me too now aren't you? Don't look at your boss that way." I managed to say as I felt the alcohol slur my words and cause me to nod.
" Mister Kim, I have no reason to judge you, I am not in the position to judge you, nor will I ever. I would never judge your mother either. You aren't your mother, and even so as uncaring as this must sound I am sure your mother had her reasons, imagine going through unbearable pain, living through it day after day. Her choice in action wasn't right, but it doesn't mean she didn't have her own reason as to why she thought it was, that's my unpopular opinion. " She said as she gazed a glassy stare into mine.
" To be honest with you, when I was fifteen I didn't think I would see eighteen, but years have proved progress now here I am. If I had gone through with it, I would have regretted it, but at the moment and in the time of thought, I would've found no better answer. The mind is a crazy thing, Mister, it can make one fear dogs, people, settings, all the way up to life itself." She finished as she leaned in on the table before finally dropping her head onto the table gently as if she was about to take a nap.
I took time in as the chattering sound of other drinkers grew around us. I sat dwelling on her words and taking everything in. Then I heard her speak again. " But, Mister Kim what is your greatest fear? " She mumbled under her breath after the long silence, as she kept her head down.
" I fear to love, it's a strange thing to fear, isn't it? I can't seem to be honest those I love for the sake of not scaring them away I can't seem to be honest with them. I have been so used to telling my mother that I am doing well, my father had always been busy, too busy to speak to. As for Ae-Ra she's beautiful and I love her company but there is so much though I want to tell her, I can't because she doesn't genuinely understand. I have tried and typically she says a few awe and I am sorry for that happening oppa, but that is about it." I finished ranting.
" It is understandable why you say things to protect your mother, but when it comes to your partner for life shouldn't it be the other way around? that you love them enough to be yourself around them because that is what they deserve? The real you? " Dalnim asked.
I thought to reply but I didn't know how to. I didn't know where to find the words to say anything to I changed the topic, from me to her.
" Then what's your greatest fear, Dalnim?" I managed to ask her. She poked her head out of hiding and placed her chin on her overlapping arms.
" The place where my life was given back, only to see that those I loved weren't granted the same fate...you se-"
She didn't finish was she was supposed to say, instead, she dozes off into sleep with her head on the table. " Agh, Miss Dalmin, you bite harder with your words, than you take alcohol." I laughed.
Eventually, I requested a cab for her only to find that I had no idea where she lived, I didn't know much about my secretary I thought to myself. So instead we were driven to my place where I allowed her to use the bed, and I slept on the couch.
Before going to bed I messaged Ae-Ra through text, taking in the advice of Dalnim, and said: When you come visit me tomorrow, you will find me on the couch, my secretary got a bit drunk, and I her boss don't even know her address, sad isn't it? If you wish you can come join us, but I wanted to let you know in advance so that misunderstandings don't occur. I love you and have a goodnight.
After I typed those words, I fell asleep finally taking in a much-needed rest.