Winnie's POV
I can practically hear Clifton gulp, as we stare back at her.....almost as if we were cowboys about to have a standoff.
A smile spreads across her face. "So do you kids like being on the tour?" she asks.
"Uhm...yeah..." Clifton answers hoarsely. "It's cool..."
I stay silent staring her down as she sits down across from us. "You guys are going to absolutely love it here..." she smiles. "We have loads of fun on this tour."
I couldn't help but internally roll my eyes. Have you ever dealt with someone who is so nice it's cheesy? Like overly nice?
Well meet Karen Fake.
"Mhhm..." I look past her as I watch the dancers on the stage.
"Aren't you Tatiana's sister?" she asks as I look back at her.
"Yup." I smile sweetly. "Haven't we met?"
"I don't think we have had the pleasure." she says without missing a beat, or batting a lash.
"Doesn't she recognize us?" I think to myself.
"Oh that's funny...because you look really familiar...." I press as I feel Clifton jab my rib.
"Perhaps it was in an interview or something." she smiles.
"Mhhhm." I furrow my eyebrows, tightening my lips as I watch the dancers onstage.
"Karen! I need to speak with you!" Frank yells onstage. She stands up from her chair giving us a smile.
"Duty calls." she shrugs giving a smile flouncing away as I watch her.
"She's lying." I hiss. "I know for a fact she is..."
"Win, she didn't seem like she--"
"Listen, they don't call her Karen Fake for anything....I know she is lying. That was her with Rachel that day...I remember. I don't trust her."
"Are you positive?" he asks fixing his glasses as he stares at me.
"I swear. And I'm gonna prove it....you just wait."
Tatiana's POV
"I'm so done with rehearsal." I mutter throwing my shoes off as Sheryl rolls her eyes.
"We all are." she groans flopping on the bed.
"At least Winnie and Cliff had fun....or they're having fun." Sheryl giggles as I break into a smile looking back at her as I climb into bed with my journal.
After rehearsal was over, Michael still had more energy than the whole tour combined and decided to sneak the kids off to a movie (while he was in disguise of course). I would have went but I had to work on music for Quincy--so Greg and Ricky went along.
"Yeah. It's nice seeing them have fun together." as I open up my journal. "Especially since--" I stop speaking as an envelope flutters into my lap addressed "Tatiana."
"What?" Sheryl looks over as I chuckle.
"It's a letter...it must be from Michael..." I blush slightly. It wasn't a surprise at times that Michael would write my notes or letters, just to be romantic or to express his feelings--at times he could be more open in a letter than out loud.
"Aww!" she squeals as she climbs in bed next to me. "I want to read! Greg never writes me letters." she rolls her eyes. "He thinks romance is buying me heart shaped pizza..." she laughs as I giggle ripping the envelope open.
"Tatiana...I can't find any of the right words to explain how incredibly ...." I begin to read as Sheryl reads next to me; her eyes widen as she snatches it from me quickly.
"Sheryl! What the hell!" I try to take it back as she moves away quickly.
"Tat--you can't read this..." she whispers.
"Why the fuck not?" I stare at her growing annoyed. "It's my letter..."
"Tat, please listen to m---" before she can finish I snatch it back quickly reading aloud;
"Tatiana...
I can't find any of the right words to explain how incredibly sorry I am. I know a "sorry" doesn't mean anything to you anymore. Though it would be a lot more meaningful if I said this in person, but I can't do that. I can't face you. Not after everything I just put you through. And you have every reason to hate me, I completely understand. I wasn't myself when I drove you out. I shouldn't have let other people control me, and it's my fault. I should've focused on you, that's what I should've done. You were mine, and that's all that should've mattered. You were mine, and it should've been your word over everyone else's. You were actually my girl... and now that I'm looking back at our memories I couldn't believe that someone as beautiful as you could choose someone like... me. But those were the good times and I was so lucky to be with you. You put so much trust in me, and I broke it. I see it now. I was too quick to judge you. I just wish I knew about the obstacles you've overcome before you met me. All the pain, all the rejection, the heartbreaks. I should've been the one to prove to you that I'm the one for you. I should've showed you that I'm different. That I would never hurt you, because I know what it's like too. I should've made you happy, but I made you cry.
I wasn't ever supposed to make you cry, make you go through so much pain. That was not supposed to be my role in your life. I feel like a monster when I fired you, seeing you shed tears still would've broken my heart, even if you never got in that car accident. And the day you got in that accident changed my life. My feelings for you grew stronger, just like that. And I know that it's wrong, and I'm so sorry that it had to be like that. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this trauma for me to realize how much I love you. It felt like I wasn't even allowed to miss you. And it hurts me deeply because all these things I'm writing right now, or all these things I'm feeling for you, I was supposed to share with you when I actually had you. Not when I lost you. But I learned too late. And love doesn't wait. And I know that I will never love anyone the way I love you. Just know that you have my heart and you always will... Just like the way I once had yours. But I took you for granted and I'm so sorry. And when you were in that hospital, I know that you were lonely, and that every day you hoped and prayed that I would show up with dozens of roses and I'd spend all my time with you, watch movies with you, share stories with you, singing to you as you fall asleep, and telling you how much I love you. But that wasn't me. It was Paul.
I wish I was the one who'd make you forget that you were even stuck in a hospital because you had me. I would've held you in my arms, and never have let you go. I would kiss you like no tomorrow...But I didn't and I'm so sorry. I know that I can't do that now because the damage is already done. After giving me all the love you had left inside you, this is how I repay you. I didn't taste my words before I spit them out. And I know you said that you could never hurt me, but I deserve it. And since you won't hurt me, I'll do it for you....."
I pause looking up at her as she looks away her arms crossed. As I keep reading my voice wavering into a whisper as I slowly sit on the bed.
"I'm doing this because I can't live with the guilt anymore. I can't do this knowing that I'm capable of putting someone so fragile in so much trauma. I'm doing this because you are my other half, and I don't have you... And therefore I cannot function. And I can't have you, because I'm not your other half. Look at the way I disrespected you. That's not a man. You don't need someone like me. You need someone better than me and I really hope you do find him. You deserve all the happiness that comes to you. So by the time you've received this letter, I'll be gone. I'm sorry it had to be this way. But I was hurting you and I didn't even know it... And I need to make it stop before something bad happens. But now you know how I feel about you Tatiana. You're always gonna have my heart and I will always be watching over you. And by the way... I'm so proud of you, baby. You've made me so happy with all your success and I'm so sorry that I made you think that I'm not. You have definitely made me proud and I'm so lucky to have been a huge part of your life. But I have to go now. So keep doing that you do best, by singing and dancing your little heart out. Keep making me proud in heaven. I hope Paul love's you just as much as I do. I will always be looking out for you. You will never be alone. And I love you so much, Tatiana.
Love,
Michael"
I stop reading as I slowly look up at her, trying to find someway to breathe. "W-what...? Is this..? What does he--"
"Tat, there's something you need to know." Sheryl whispers quietly.
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Hey, hey.....I'm sorry it took me awhile to update. I had to go way back and use the past chapters as a reference for the upcoming! I'm sorry the chapter was short....but the next upcoming chapters will be longer due to the book coming to an end. <3
vote/comment
xoxo,
moonwalkergal