Worthless, Anna Clendening
Quote;
Lying to me is like fighting a current,
You can fight but I'll still bring
you under.
Chapter 4.
"Am I supposed to feel bad?"
"You punched me-"
"Cry about it."
Marcus clutches his side, a string of curse words passing his lips as he continues to glare at me. Several students passed us on their way to the parking lot, glancing curiously in our direction before walking off. Marcus continues to groan and I roll my eyes, I can't have possibly hit him hard. He should think twice now before sneaking up on me.
"This all your fault, you know." I point out, waving my finger in his face.
Heidi and Paige rush over to where Marcus and I are, but refrain from hugging him as they see the pain he is in. Heidi folds her arms across her chest, scowling up at me and then at Paige who seems to find the whole scene amusing. Marcus begins to straighten up a bit, hand rubbing the spot where I had hit him.
Marcus opens his mouth, no doubt about to scold me, when Heidi throws her arms around his neck. His ears begin to turn a bright red against his pale skin as he slowly returns her embrace. I nudge Paige and we exchange a knowing look, Marcus, noticing our faces, pulls away from Heidi almost instantly.
His face was completely red and Heidi, although she can't blush, looks quite embarrassed herself. She kicks at the ground, tucking her hands into her pockets as an awkward silence fills our group. Paige's kissing noises don't particularly help the situation either.
I clear my throat, scratching the back of my neck uncomfortably. "So um, I thought you weren't going to be back for a few days. At least that's what Heidi told me."
"We arrived back sooner than I thought. You sound a bit disappointed about that." He teases, placing a hand over his heart in mock distress. "Remind me later never to sneak up on you by the way, chalk it up as a valuable lesson learned."
Chuckling I place my arm around him, squeezing his shoulder gently. Heidi glances at me and then my hand on Marcus's shoulder, her eyes flickering between the two of us. Her eyes practically bore into the side of my head as I remove my arm, refusing to meet her gaze.
"So.. do I have a lot of homework to catch up on? Or am I off the hook?" Marcus questions, seemingly unaware of the growing tension.
"Ha, tú deseas!" Paige laughs, "We got tons of homework over the last couple weeks, I almost feel sorry for you. Then again we had to go through it, so I don't feel too bad. Well 'cept Noelle, she got a couple different teachers from us. Perra afortunada."
Marcus heaves a loud, dramatic sigh before the corner of his mouth tilts up, a hopeful expression working its way onto his face. "Okay.. so I was thinking-"
"That never goes well."
He extends his middle finger in my direction before continuing, "One of you should help me out a bit and I don't know.. be my study buddy?"
"I have a lot of things to do-"
"My Dad has been going through a lot-"
Paige shrugs when Marcus turns to her, "I just don't want to."
"Wow, thanks." Marcus replies dryly, his shoulders sagging.
"I got you man."
Heidi twists the ivory-colored ring on her finger, looking from Marcus to the ground. "I-If you'd like I could meet up with you a-at the library like a few times a week.. Just so you could um, like catch up a bit. But I can't promise anything!" She bites her lip, gazing anxiously at him from the corner of her eyes. "Only if you want to that is!"
"Yeah, that would be.. really great."
Paige sticks her finger in her mouth and makes a gagging noise, causing me to laugh. Marcus's lips press firmly together as his eyes narrow at Paige's cheeky grin.
Staring up at the sky I allow myself to get lost in the constellations, several stars gleaming down on me. Dad was too drunk to even realize that I had gotten home late because of my detention. At least thinking up an explanation, in this case, wouldn't be necessary.
Mama always liked to tell me when I was little that all of her loved ones that had died were now in heaven, or among the stars. She told me, she liked to pretend that each star up above was what is left of a person. Perhaps mama is up there too.
"I miss you."
A hand is placed on my shoulder and I already know by the smell of vodka, who it is. With a grunt of pain Dad sits down next to me, his eyes swimming with tears as he holds onto an empty pack of cigarettes. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he puts an arm around me, neither of us saying a word.
I want to ask him how long he has been up, or when he got out here. But instead of speaking, I take his hand in mine, giving it a light squeeze. One he returns with a watery smile.
"Do you think she's up there?" He questions softly, his voice cracking.
"I hope so."
A frown makes its way onto Dad's face at my uncertainty, and he tosses the pack of cigarettes in front of him. They land on the bottom step, and I can't help but glare at them. They didn't do anything, I remind myself. He did this.
"We'll make it." I murmur, looking up at him in hopes of receiving some sort of reassurance.
But there is none.
Dad refuses to meet my gaze as I continue to stare at him, a single tear slips down his cheek. "Y-you will, you have always been so strong. But I can not promise you I will."
"Dad-"
"I appreciate the words, Noelle, I really do. But at this point, living just doesn't seem.."
"So.. you're not even going to try and fight for a future?" I whisper, an overwhelming sadness beginning to build up inside of me.
But that sadness quickly dissolves and turns into rage as he attempts to hug me, all I can feel at this moment is the bitterness towards him. For not being willing to fight for his child. He's not even going to try and stay alive for me. His own daughter.
Getting up from the porch, I glare down at him "I hate you!"
"Noelle-"
"You are supposed to be the one who is holding our family together, you should be my shoulder to cry on whenever I think about mom! You're not even trying! You're a sorry excuse for a father!" I scream, tears rushing down my face as he stares up at me in shock.
The lights from the houses next to ours flicker on and for a moment we just gaze at each other. My fists curl into a ball, and his teary eyes only make me angrier. Normally I would feel sorry for him, but all I can feel right now is resentment.
Turning my back on him, I hurry into the house. The door slams behind me and I run up the stairs, wiping at the tears on my cheeks. What is the point of trying to fight this pain, when he isn't?
A/N
Thank you so much for reading this chapter, it really means a lot to
me! What do you guys think
of Noelle's dad?
Can't wait to see all your comments and read all of your opinions.
Have a Glamorous day!
Love you all.
( ˘ ³˘)❤