March 13th
Backslide: verb. Relapse into bad ways or error.
"Sometimes when I dream, a guy in a raccoon suit appears and tells me that I need to eat my vegetables. Is that normal?"
Sam snorts loudly from her spot against the lockers, I can't help but giggle at Liam. Only he would be having this sort of predicament and genuinely be worried about it.
I hide my smile when he looks at me with his innocently worried expression. Sometimes he reminded me of a Lab puppy.
"I'm sure it's perfectly normal Liam. But maybe start eating more vegetables?"
He scrunches up his face in disgust. "I hate apples."
I tilt my head at him and can't hold in my laugh this time.
"Liam, apples aren't vegetables!"
A clearing of the throat interrupts our conversation. I catch a quick look in Sam's direction before turning around to see who it is. Her face falls into something desperate and unwilling. Something that is rare to see on Sam Mason's face.
A graceful smile falls onto my lips when I see Cole. His expression nervous, and by the way he smiles I know he's hiding something. Or at least trying to hold something in.
"Hey," I say slowly.
He scratches the back of his neck "do you think I could talk to you?" He asks, his eyes indicating that he want to only talk to me.
I nod and look back at Sam and Liam. I ignore the way Sam looks at me, as if I'm doing something wrong.
I follow Cole as he leads me to the basketball court downstairs. We reach the boys locker rooms before he even speaks. We don't go in, but instead leans against the wall. A memory fills my head making me blush.
The night Cole gave me the rose, this is the wall that I fell into his kisses on.
Weird, how it's only been months later and now Cole and are just friend, and I can't get the memory of a boy with black hair and stormy blue eyes out of my head.
"I'm sorry."
His words bring me out of my memories and confusion clouds my thoughts.
"You're sorry about what?"
He sighs and leans his head back, his brown hair curving a top his ears from his workout this morning. He swollows harshly before he speaks as if he's trying to hold back the word vomit trying to break through.
"The way I treated you," he whispers out. "I shouldn't have done that to you."
I cross my arms, feeling uncomfortable, "where is this coming from?"
He looks at me with a strangeness I've never seen in Cole before.
"Wendy broke up with me," he lets out in one breath. "She just-I don't understand why this keeps happening."
I wrap my arms around him in a hug, his head falling into the crook of my neck, his breath hot against my skin.
"I'm sorry Cole... what happened?"
He pulls away but doesn't let go, instead his hands fall to my waist and stay firmly planted there.
"At first she said it was because she was moving to South Carolina. But, when we got into an argument about it she said there were other reasons."
My hands fall to his chest "what were the other reasons?"
He stares at me for so long and I remember why I loved him. He made me feel wanted, he made me feel like I was something extraordinary. Because when I was with him I was wrapped up in our world. I wasn't thinking about anything, I was just thinking about him.
"Do you remember that one time we went to the park? It was like four in the morning?"
I smile as I nod "you climbed to the top of the jungle gym."
His blue eyes brighten at the thought and I notice that I'm now pressed up against the wall. My hand grips his shirt.
"That night, when you looked up at me and you smiled, I knew that I was done for."
I close my eyes and lean my head against his chest. Why is he saying this?
"Cole..."
He sighs and his breath falls against my ear in hot waves.
Backsliding is a bitch.
I open my eyes and look up at him. I know its gonna happen before his lips are on mine. Before his fingers dig into my hips, as his body falls against mine.
Maybe I'm doing this because I miss him, maybe I'm doing this because of his words.
But I know that in the end the reason I'm doing this is because of him.
Because even as my lips are on another boys, I'm thinking about falling for Greyson.
I'm thinking about the intensity of the feelings I have for him. I'm thinking about his eyes as he smiles, I'm thinking about his dimples, I'm thinking about his laugh.
And that might make me a terrible person, but I know that Cole isn't doing this for us, but rather for Wendy. Because he's just as heartbroken as I am.
But then everything falls away as I here the words coming from down the hall.
"I guess he wanted to finish out high school before he signed the papers to become the owner."
"Who would want to come back to high school, when you can be a millionaire?"
"I don't know but," a girl with a loud voice says with a sigh and I pull away from Cole to catch my breath. "He's back."
***
"You knew, didn't you?"
She looks up from her paint brush as she rubs it against the washcloth in her hand.
"Yeah," she shrugs already knowing what I'm referring to. Greyson's back, and she knew. Because she always knows before I do and she never tells me.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She shakes her head as if annoyed "I didn't think you would want to know with Coles tongue down your throat."
"I-you."
She lifts up her and before I can figure out what I'm trying to say.
"Don't even try, Skye."
"Why are you so pissy? It's not like I kept something from you."
She rolls her eyes at me "I didn't think you would care. I mean you're back with Cole right?"
I aggressively grab a fistful of my hair. Why does she even care? So what if I was? I'm not. But so what!
"You should have told me he was back."
"Not everything is about you Skye."
What is her issue!
"Why are you being such an ass?"
"It's always so dramatic with you!" She grips the side of her door "first its Cole drama, then its Greyson wont talk to me, then its Cole this and that. Pick one Skye!"
"I did!"
She shakes her head, "obviously not!"
"Greyson's the one that left! Greyson's the one that choose, not me!"
She points at me in an accusing manor. "And what did you do? Run back to Cole. You didn't even let Greyson explain himself."
"He left! I didn't. I gave him a chance to explain himself. All he did was give me a fucking letter."
Her eyes are dark and angry and I can't remember the last time Sam and I have ever gotten in a fight like this.
"Yeah, and did you read it? Or did you just call him worse than his father? Skyler, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
I physically flinch when she reminds me. I've been hating myself for what I said to him. Greyson is so far from what his father was. Greyson is everything his father was not.
"I-I di-"
She shoves me out of her room "don't even try to act like it's not your fault. I know he hurt you... but that. I never thought I would be so pissed off at you Skye."
"Sam!"
"Have fun with Cole!"
She slams the door.
***
Rowan opens up the door to his dorm with sleep filled eyes.
"Rosey? What are you doing here?"
I start crying again even though I thought I got them to stop two hours ago.
"Is it too late for some waffles?"
His eyes widen as he pulls me into a hug. "Hey, hey! What's going on?"
I traveled six hours for this hug, it was so worth it.
"I did something stupid..."
He pulls back and wipes away my tears "let me grab my car keys."
***
"Will you stop stuffing your face and listen to me?"
He smiles at me, whip cream creating a mustang above his upper lip.
"Its your fault for bring me to a Waffle House."
I roll my eyes with a smile "I thought that since you were a 21 year old adult you would be able to behave yourself."
He stabs another waffle with his fork and smiles. "Well that was mighty stupid of you."
I sigh and spin my fork across the plate creating swirls in the whip cream. "Rowan... what am I gonna do?"
"Come on, Rosey Posey." He says with his brotherly voice, "you know what you have to do. Everything will work itself out. Sam will forgive you."
I glance up at him between my eyelashes, "what about Greyson?"
He sets his fork down making a clink against the glass plate and causing the one employee to glare at us from across the room.
"I'm not the biggest fan of the kid right now. But... I heard what you said to him. It was harsh."
"I know-"
He lifts up his hand and cuts me off. People seem to have a tendency to do that to me tonight.
"But, in Greysons eyes, Skye. You can do no wrong."
"I don't know if I can deal with him hating me, Rowan."
He smiles at me in a reassuring way. "Greyson would never hate you, Rosey. You're his smile."
***
The next morning I decided that I was going to deal with it. With a smile on my face and a bounce in my step.
Who cares if Sam was mad at me? Who cares if Liam was probably siding with Sam? Who cares if I kissed Cole yesterday? Who cares if the boy that left me a wreck a few months ago was back and I still had yet to pick up his letter and read it?
I will be fine.
At least, that's what I thought when I finally got back in time for late period. Driving to Seattle in the middle night might seem like a good idea at the time. But in the long run it's a lot of gas money and red bulls.
I sling my bag over my shoulder and run all the way to the gym just in time to hear the first bell.
I look down at my baggy t-shirt and sweat shorts and shrug. Guess this is what I'm running in today.
Mr. Robinson smiles at me as I take my place behind Taylor Yaw. I stretch my arms above my head as Mr. Robinson talks.
"Today were doing basketball. Captains will be Cole Ryder and Greyson Black."
My eyes widen as I snap my head up towards the front to see both of the boys. Oh sweet baby Jesus.
When did they get in this class?
Shit. Shit. Shit!
"Start picking out your teams fellas."
Why do I have the feeling that the next words out of their mouths will make everything more complicated?
"Skyler."
"Skye."
Their heads snap to each other and glares become a permanent expression. Stacy Reynolds laughs next to me, but when I look I expect her to be laughing at me. But honestly it looks like she's laughing at them-and for some reason, that makes me what to laugh too.
Mr. Robinson puts each hand on the boys shoulders and a nervous smile falls onto his face "alright boys. One at a time."
Neither of them speak but instead keep staring at each other.
Oh god.
Mr. Robinson looks between them and sighs "fine, I'll get a quarter." He digs through his gym shorts before pulling out a quarter. "Call it."
"Heads," Cole says not pulling his stare from Greyson.
The quarter lands and its as if everyone in the gym holds their breath. Robinson looks at the quarter and then at Greyson "heads."
My heart sinks.
A mixture of disappointment and relief flowing through me. Cole smiles over at me in delight and quickly the teams are chosen and I feel as I just stood there trying to make him look at me. Just once. But even when I stare he refuses to acknowledge my presence.
And then Coles voice is covering my ear and I'm remembering the kiss from yesterday.
"You ready to show me your skills, Skye?"
I get my look right as Coles hands circle my waist. His expression is hard and it falls on the way Cole pulls me against his chest.
Thrills run through my body when I see his jaw shift. He's jealous.
He still cares.
No matter how much he wants me to believe he's not.
I flip around and smile at Cole. Might as well get some enjoyment out of this while I can.
I push him playfully away from me "you already know how fantastic my skills are Cole."
He smirks at me with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Oh I so do, Skye Hastings."
Robinson blows the whistle and I go back into my ten year old self when I wanted to be a basketball champion. To be honest I only suffered through it to prove to Rowan that girls were as good at sports as boys.
It lasted for about a year. I would go out and just shoot hoops for hours. I got good, but then I got bored.
I quickly fall back into the rhythm as I steal the ball from Tommy. I spin around Rebekah and jump throwing the ball in the process. It goes, goes, goes... and then Greyson knocks it out of the way as its about to go into the hoop.
He lands on his feet with the grace of a mountain lion and doesn't even spare me a glance as he walks into the cheering crowd of his teammates.
I hate basketball.
***
I watched as the ball fell through the hoop and next thing I knew was being lifted up and spun around in a circle.
I just got the winning basket.
I laugh down at Cole as he spins me around and the rest of our team cheers us on.
He drops me down and before I can even comprehend it, his lips are capturing mine.
It all happens so fast. It starts with Robinson saying, "oh come on Ryder." And then it ends with him being pushed away from me with a fist to his jaw.
I'm still awestruck as I watch the display in front of me. Cole smiling malicly at Greyson while he gives him the most deadly look I've ever seen.
While I stand there trying to figure out how to stop whatever is about to start, everyone else is cheering for a fight.
I watch as Greysons fist curls and I know I have to stop it.
"Greyson," I say just above a whisper.
I know he hears me by the shift in his jaw. But does he look? No! Because why would you look at the girl that's been desperately trying to get you to look at her for hours?
Big fat jerk!
Cole opens his mouth, of course, before I can stop him.
"You got a problem with me, Black?"
Greyson tilts his head but doesn't speak. The mysterious bad boy living up to his reputation.
Who in the hell thought it was delightful to have boys fight over you? It frightening and annoying.
Not to mention confusing!
Cole takes a step forward and that's all the initiative Greyson needs to go after him. I take a step forwards fully determined to stop this ridiculous show of male arrogance.
That is until I get captured into the hold of none other then Stacey Reynolds as she pulls me out of the gym.
"Hey!" I shriek as she pulls me out of the door and into the girls locker room. She practically throws me into the locker room and then positions herself in front of the door so I can't get out.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I growl out at her.
She rolls her eyes "I'm stopping you from being an idiot."
"They're gonna kill each other out there!" I snap at her with my hand thrown out in the direction of the gym.
She crosses her arms and gives me a look. Why is she even 'helping' me?
"They will be just fine. You however, have yourself dug into a deep hole."
I roll my eyes and sit down on the bench. Might as well get comfortable since she's decided that she's locking me in here.
"Yeah?" I say as I take off my tennis shoes. "What do you know about it?"
She smirks at me and I now know why she has the reputation she has.
"I have eyes. But I also have been watching this whole thing go down. Cole, Greyson, Cole, Greyson, Cole... very repetitive."
"What do you want Stacey?"
If this is just some desperate attempt to get Cole or Greyson it's not gonna work.
She scoffs as if she heard my inner thoughts. "I don't want anything... or anyone. I'm just helping out a fellow girl."
"Why...?"
Her glare is not friendly, even despite her words. "Because even though I know you and your friends despise me. And even thougt I despise you and think you dress like a homeless person."
Very classy.
"I know you would do the same for me."
I think about it, yeah. I would.
Now I just feel uncomfortable.
"Thanks..."
She scrunches up her face in disgust "don't think that this is an invitation for friendship, Hastings."
I laugh "I wasn't planning on it, Reynolds."
She laughs as well.
"So... who you gonna choose?"
I grown and lay my head in my hands.
"At this point. I'd rather just get a dog."
***
I knock on the door. My hands shaking, my heart racing. I really shouldn't be doing this.
If it was months ago it would have been normal, I would have just snuck through his back door and not even thought twice about it.
But now, after everything.
It seems even more dangerous to be here. Looking at the familiar door-remembering what it was like to be pushed up against it and taken from the world with his kiss.
But that was months ago, before I fell into this hole.
Before I became this girl.
When I was still so desperate for love from him, I just wanted him to love me.
And he did, in the end.
But it was too late by then.
I was wrapped up in what could be, while he was watching from the sidelines.
I don't know why I'm here.
Maybe it's because I've been so sad, I've been reliving all the moments with him, in my head. Trying to remember the bad ones.
The moments when I was so sad, when the only person that was able to pull me out of the despair was Greyson.
But now, here I am, and Greyson is the cause of all my problems. Or at least the deep root of most of them.
He's back and that the hardest part.
Because I've been trying to lose the picture of us wrapped in each others arms, whispering sweet nothings into each others ears.
But he's back and that not what it is.
He's distant and confusing-he doesn't look at me like he used to.
While I stand there with desperation in my eyes-begging him to just look at me. Look at me!
I don't know what changed. Whis is it that his dad died and he stopped caring?
Because I love him?
Furiously tied up in how much I love him, that I don't know how to communicate it.
I'm so tragically in love with him.
But yet I'm standing here.
Making probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
Especially when he opens up the door, confusion and delight lighting his eyes.
"Skye Hastings," his voice is thick with sleep. The voice that I used to love so much.
"Can I come in?"
He scratches his head-running his hand through his hair, creating messy waves. He crosses his arms and leans against the door frame with an eyebrow raised.
"It's two in the morning."
I swallow a nervous gulp of air.
"Do you want me to leave?"
He stares at me too long- creating too much tension. He opens the door wide enough for me to walk in.
"You know the way."
I smile back at him as I walk up his stairs.
"You're sure are a gentleman, Cole."
***
A/N
Hey...
So that was a roller coaster of emotions. This was supposed to be two chapters but I thought it worked better as one. I know it was a little bit of a mess, but I have my reasons.
So let me give you a little background, because I know some of you will be mad about Cole coming back into the situation. Don't start hating me yet!
I didn't realize it was gonna happen until it did. It just sort of happened. I was just thinking about how I had never read a Wattpad book where the girl went back to the first love interest (I'm sure there are some, I just haven't read one yet on Wattpad.)
Its just like they break up and he/she is never seen from again. Well breakups aren't like that. You're first love will always pull you back. Even if they're not your epic love. (Trust me I know.)
So for all of you Greyson lovers don't worry...
The next chapter will shed some light on the subject. However right now I'm craving the drama! But don't fret my loves, Greyson and Skyler will not fall tragically.
One last thing, right now I think there is only about three more chapters to this book. (Don't hold my word on that.) Crazy!
Alright. Don't forget to vote, comment, and follow!
I adore you all! Happy reading!