The past few days of sitting in various rooms of my chambers and reading, as well as sending the students off for the holidays had me yearning for what I once had as a younger girl myself. I missed the trips to Hogsmeade with the boys, the bubble of excitement that came up whenever I'd leave to go skiing with my parents, crowding around the table at the Burrow or Grimmauld Place for a nice supper, catching up with friends.
I felt a pang in my heart. It would never be that way again. So many of those people were gone now. I thought back to my last Christmas. I had spent it with the Weasleys, surrounded by loved ones. It hadn't seemed right. Not at all.
There were people missing. Fred, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, Charlie even. We never saw Bill anymore. He'd taken up permanent residence in France with his wife and children. He couldn't bear the loss of his younger brother. Percy was an emotional mess, constantly going on about how foolish he'd been to miss so many Christmases.
My mind briefly wandered to Teddy, how he was faring with Andromeda. Harry was named his godfather, but he was not at all ready to raise a toddler. Not with his Auror training.
A small smile appeared on my lips at the thought of my best friend. He was the closest thing I'd ever had to a sibling. He was to attend the party later on in the evening. I wondered who else would be there and my smile faded, melancholy falling back upon me.
Ron would most likely attend with whatever new girlfriend he thought might make me jealous. The Malfoys, no doubt. They were a family friend of Professor Snape's, surely they'd bid him happy holidays. Ella...
The mere thought of the woman left a bad taste in my mouth. I couldn't believe how much I disliked her. Perhaps because she had threatened me, made me seem a fool before the one person I truly admired.
Maybe the one person I more than admired...
I had noticed that he'd stood up for me every time she had an argument. Only once had he fallen victim to her charms. At least, that I've noticed. Maybe he cared more for me than I had initially thought. Maybe Ella was right.
Nonsense. I was getting ahead of myself.
This was Snape.
I stepped out of the shower, slipping on my bathrobe. Another smile lit my face as I recalled the faithful day my instructor had woken up to see me half naked in my living room. I pressed a hand to my forehead, feeling my cheeks heat up. Had I imagined the darkening of his eyes? The fleeting emotion that had flashed through them?
I had to be. He was the master of indifference. There's no way he'd slip up. Not like that.
I sat at the vanity in my bedroom, lightly powdering my nose. I grabbed my wand, tapping it to my head, my hair falling in soft curls around my shoulders, cascading down my back. I pinned back my bangs with a few pins and a sticking charm. I examined my reflection, my hair had become somewhat more manageable over the years, my face had thinned, my teeth weren't bucktoothed as they once were.
I laughed. I couldn't believe I was fawning over the man who said he saw no difference after Malfoy had hit me with that beaver tooth jinx. The one who called me an insufferable know-it-all.
Life was so very strange.
I stood from the pouffe, opening my wardrobe. I glanced at the dress I intended to wear. Was it unprofessional? Was it too daring?
I rolled my eyes. For once, I was tired of playing by the rules. For the love of sugar-spun quills, I was a Gryffindor! It was about time I proved it to myself. I'd always wondered why I hadn't been sorted into Ravenclaw. Perhaps because I've always valued bravery. Always.
With that in mind, I pulled out the dress and slipped it on, stepping into my new shoes. I fixed myself in the mirror, making sure everything was right, before heading out the door.
I came face to face with my mentor as I opened the door. My face flushed as he eyed my attire, something appreciative in his features. He offered me his arm, which I took gratefully. I wasn't sure I could stand up straight with his eyes on me the way they were. He'd switched out his regular black cravat that he saved for special events, for a white one. It was a nice change, bringing more light to his face. "Would you allow me to escort you to the soiree, Miss Granger?"
I smiled shyly, looking away. My fingers curled into the fabric of his sleeve, trying with all my might to steady myself. "I'd be delighted, sir."
He led me up the stairs and to the Great Hall where the reception was being held. We were to socialise with the other guests, eat supper and participate in the festivities. The moment we stepped into the room, we were bombarded by photographers. Snape was not having any of it, he lifted his cloak, shielding me from the blindingly bright flashes of the cameras. If I knew something of the sort would occur, I wouldn't have worn this particular dress. What would the newspapers say now?
He didn't seem to care. When we were far enough, he let the dark material fall to the ground and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side, his hand sliding easily across the smooth fabric of the dress. He leaned down to whisper in my ear, gooseflesh rising on my bare arms. "Where on earth did you acquire such a dress? Surely you didn't let Minerva choose it."
I fought back a nervous giggle, forcing myself to make eye contact. "Isn't it lovely?" I replied, sending him what I hoped to be a mysterious smile or something equivalent. I was often told I could be as subtle as a rampaging hippogriff. I walked away then, slipping out of his grasp, sashaying off to stand with Harry and Ginny.
She gave me a smile, winking. "You look hot." She stated. "The dress was gorgeous, but on you, it should be illegal. A little more leg, Hermione, and it would be downright indecent. But it isn't. It's classy, sophisticated. I like it."
I hugged Harry tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You look well, Harry." He did, truly. He was positively dashing in his formal robes.
He dipped his head in polite thanks. "As do you." He squinted a moment, something that happened when he was mentally debating with himself.
I rolled my eyes. "Go on, ask me."
He took a moment to phrase his words carefully. "Are you here with Snape tonight?"
"Professor Snape, Harry." I corrected. "Yes, he is my escort this evening. He wouldn't allow me to attend alone."
He shifted uncomfortably. "Are you, you know..."
My eyes widened in shock. "Merlin, Harry, no! What would make you think such a thing?"
He shrugged, his face reddening. "Ginny told me what happened the other day, and about the necklace. I thought maybe you and him were.... you know."
I shook my head and took his hand. "I would have told you, honest."
Ginny tucked a strand of hair behind her ear timidly. "I don't know, 'Mione... Things seemed intense over there. We saw you two together."
I bit my lip, before explaining that he had only hidden me from the cameras and asked where I'd gotten my dress. My friends calmed down for a moment, before someone grabbed my hand, pulling me away from them. I found myself in someone's arms, their lips crushing mine. I pushed them away, wiping my face. "What the hell?"
Ron looked back at me apologetically. "Couldn't help it, 'Mione. You're stunning."
I tried to wriggle out of his grasp. Is this how a snitch felt when caught by the Seeker? Or when a mandrake was being repotted? His hold was unrelenting. "Stop it, Ron, let me go."
A strong arm wrapped around me from behind, pulling me easily from my former fiance's vicelike grip. I lifted a hand to rest it on the arm that was wrapped around me, leaning back into solid mass that smelled of spices and parchment. He'd come to my rescue, again. The look on Ron's face was priceless. He looked so very stupid. "I suggest you keep your hands off of my apprentice, Mr Weasley."
His voice dropped lower, anger radiating through his words. I shivered involuntarily and he pulled me against him further, so that I was practically in his cloak. Ron turned beet red, his temper flaring. I tightened my hold on the Potions' Master's arm, afraid of how Ronald was going to react. "You chose him over me?" He asked, hurt lacing every word. My mouth dropped open and I fought the urge to slap him silly. I suppose Snape sensed that, seeing as he pulled me away by about a foot. "It's just lie after lie with you, isn't it?" He scoffed. "You're better off with the greasy bat if you're to be that way."
This time, I really did lunge at him, my instructor being the only thing restraining me. I fought against him, uselessly. "How dare you, Ronald Weasley?! I should hex you to the next planet where you can spend the rest of your petty life as you deserve it. Alone."
Without waiting for his reaction, I grabbed Snape's hand and walked away. I wouldn't have him make a mockery of me in front of all the staff, much less my instructor. I reached a less populated area and looked up at the man dressed in black. "I apologise for my brashness, Professor. It was uncalled for."
He chuckled in response. "It certainly was entertaining." He replied, taking my right hand in both of his, rubbing soothing circles into my palm. "You haven't done anything wrong."
The bell rang, calling the guests for supper. Snape pulled out my chair, pushing it in before sitting himself, in the seat next to me. I spotted a familiar, yet unwanted face down the table. I reached for his hand beneath the table, squeezing it in a moment of panic. He turned his face to me, startled by my action before following my line of sight and narrowing in on the woman who's attention I'd caught. She sent me a cold smile, her eyes malicious.
He leaned on his elbow to speak to me quietly. "Just ignore her. She isn't worth worrying yourself over. It's a lot of bark, but no bite."
I met his eyes, they were concerned. He was worried for me, I realised. My heart beat a little quicker at the thought of it. I nodded and turned to my plate, eating in silence.
***
He pulled me to the dancefloor, wrapping his arm around me, cradling my hand in the other. We swayed in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. "You're an excellent dancer." I said, once we had left the floor and stood in our infamous corner, taking a break from all the people.
The corner of his lips lifted slightly. "Everyone has a hobby, Miss Granger." Snape said lightly, tucking away one of my curls that had managed to escape. He took a breath before speaking again. "You look lovely. Have I told you?"
Against my will, I felt my face flush again and I fell deeper in love with the man standing in front of me, long slender fingers caressing the sensitive skin of my wrist. Our perfect moment was ruined by the interruption of one particular blonde witch.
"Severus, darling..."
He froze, his grip tightening around my wrist. His eyelids shut a moment and I could have sworn I heard a growl emitted from the depths of his chest. It was nearly animal. Predatory. Dangerous.
And not at all happy.
My escort for the evening turned abruptly, pulling me around to stand beside him, keeping a firm hold on me. "Ella," he greeted almost disdainfully. He was not at all pleased by her unexpected presence. "Why have you come?"
She offered him a sly smile, something flashing in her eyes. Lust.
She was here to reclaim what she thought was rightfully hers, neither of us needed the confirmation. "The entire board is here, Sev. It's Christmas." The blonde said quietly, feigning innocence as she approached him.
I eyed her attire. She wore a rich crimson dress, the skirt floor length and nearly completely sheer. The silhouette of her long, toned legs easily discernible through the fabric. The top was a sweetheart neckline, putting her frame on display in a graceful manner. Merlin, she was gorgeous. How he could keep her mind off her at all was incredible, let alone that he'd left her. I still had trouble understanding that last bit.
"That doesn't answer the question." He spat, pulling me closer still. I feared I was going to be used as a buffer between them. As a human shield. He was still upset with her over the incident that very nearly cost me the entirety of my heart, and he, his apprentice.
The woman walked her fingers up his chest, loosening the starched collar of his white shirt. "I brought you a gift." She purred. "Don't you want to know what it is? Unwrap it?" He merely eyed her suspiciously, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. Was I going to witness another 'inappropriate display of affection' as he had so lightly referred to it?
She leaned in closer, her breath caressing the shell of his ear. "Let me give you a hint, love," she teased. "It involves you dragging me to the dungeons, into your rooms and having your wicked way with me. Just like you used to."
He sighed, unfazed by her advances. It seemed he had dealt with her many a time before. "What of the baby?" He asked, the slight tone of annoyance in his voice as the only indication that he was losing patience. "Where is she?"
Ella flipped her golden curls over her shoulder, unimpressed by his attitude. It seemed she wasn't the usual type to be turned down... For anything. "At home. With Waverly. Where else?"
Snape clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing on her. "Are you trying to tell me that you left the children home alone? While you went out and pranced about in revealing clothing putting yourself on display for the entire wizarding world to see?"
Her eyes widened. She merely stared at him as a few tense moments passed. When she finally spoke, her voice was laced with hurt. "Is that what you think of me? Why do you even care what becomes of us?"
He raised an eyebrow. "I am their father, Eloise. I have a right to worry for their safety and well being. Merlin knows what you've put Waverly through these past years."
Ella's voice turned defiant. "You are no father to my girls. You are nothing but the man who took advantage of a lovestruck girl pining after her teacher. You left us! You left me. And for what? Some stupid little reputation? Your precious standing with the Dark Lord and Dumbledore? Some silly little girl half your age? You had it all, Severus Snape. Don't you dare tell me you're better off without us."
My jaw fell open. How could she possibly say something like that? I realised she was hurting, but Merlin, it was not alright. Especially not after what he tried to do for them. He had tried to protect them. His fingers twitched against my arm. I knew he wanted to pull out his wand and hex her. I suppose the only thing stopping him was the haggle of onlookers that had started to gather and the very familiar face of a notorious journalist.
He swallowed thickly, gathering himself. "You're causing a scene, Miss Mitchell." Her formal name came as a shock to everyone in the vicinity of the conversation. Something flashed through her eyes as realisation dawned on her like a bucket of ice water early in the morning. Her husband, the man she loved, was gone. Professor Snape had taken his place. She knew she had gone too far.
Tears threatened to spill from amber eyes. "Severus, I... I didn't mean- I'm so sorry." Her hand rose to her mouth, stifling a sob. My heart ached at the sight. Beyond her Gryffindor gusto, she was just a sensitive witch, yearning for her lover.
Snape released my wrist, and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close. "You should leave." He muttered. "You are upsetting the party Minerva so carefully planned."
She reached out for his arm, grabbing his sleeve and he flinched away from her. "Sever-"
I merely watched as he stared at her coldly, anger in his dark eyes. Eyes I'd long since fallen in love with. The man we both loved was far from us now, the former Deatheater taking precedence to protect himself. "You left me first." Snape hissed between clenched teeth.
Ella's face fell, tears breaking free. Her makeup starting to run. She reached out to him again, only to have him turn away, leading me out of the Great Hall. A small cry escaped her, I fought the urge to turn back and tell her everything was alright, because it wasn't. I suppose she finally understood she was making a fool of herself because she quickly made her way to where we stood in the corridor. The long skirt of her dress billowing around her like flames licking her heels. She was walking dangerous grounds. We all knew it.
The Potions' Master loosened his hold on me, stepping aside. I felt cold where he'd held me. I had felt so right on his arm. Ella stood before him, wiping her tears away with a handkerchief most likely offered to her by one of her many admirers. She parted her lips to speak, but something on the piece of cloth between her fingers had caught the dark wizard's attention. He tore it from her fingers, inspecting the fine silk.
I peeked at the fabric, trying to see what had bothered him about him. My stomach dropped when I saw it. He looked back up at her, fingers curling into fists, his face the one of Death itself. "Where did you get this?" He asked, waving the pocket square at her.
The woman frowned in confusion. He pushed it into her hands for her to see the monogram plainly embroidered upon it. The Malfoy crest.
She swallowed thickly, her eyes widening. "Severus, you must listen to me, please..."
Snape gave her a look of pure disgust. "The stories are true then?"
More tears spilled down her face. "Please..."
He clenched his jaw, attempting to calm himself. "When I left, I promised I'd return." She looked away from him, were I in her place, I don't think I could have met his eyes either. "I returned to find the house empty, your things gone. You were gone. You took my daughter away with you. I was trying to protect you from the darkest, most evil wizard of our time and there you were, in the midst of his Headquarters! I loved you enough to give you the benefit of the doubt. You've made a fool of me for the last time, Eloise Mitchell."
"Let me explain!" She cried, chasing after him down the hallway.
I tried to distance myself from the situation, but he kept me close still. "Don't." He growled, pulling me closer still as he stormed down the stairs. "I need a witness." Finally, he stopped before his hidden door, unwarding it. He prodded me lightly, a hand on my lower back. I resisted the urge to gasp at the contact. It felt much more intimate than it ought to have been in such a tense moment. I met his eyes, they were filled with dark fury, sparkling with something fiery, gods he was passionate.
Ella entered the room, breaking the spell. "The Malfoys had just lost their elf, they were looking to hire a maid. I was in desperate need of money, Severus. I didn't have enough to feed Waverly. She lost so much weight, Merlin, she was so very thin. It hurt me to see her so weak." She stopped rambling, taking a deep breath. "I didn't know if you'd actually come back. There was so much happening back then."
In response, he sat on the large couch, pulling me with him, holding my hand between both of his, fiddling with my fingers. I smiled softly at the nervous gesture. It was the only evidence he was anything more than angry. He raised an eyebrow.
The ministry woman wiped her tears. "I was just their maid. We moved into Malfoy Manor with our meager belongings. It kept a roof over our heads and my baby's belly full. When the Deatheaters held their meetings, they'd send me out for groceries or some other chore that kept me out of the house until it was safe to return. Lucius would send me his patronus when the coast was clear."
"I stand by my earlier statement." He stood and opened the door, gesturing that she leave. I looked away, my eyes honing in on the bottom of his cloak, just nearly touching the ground.
She sent me one last withering look, stopping in her tracks. "Is that..?" Her hand went to her chest, the same place where my pendant lay. "It should have been mine. Not hers. You're supposed to love me."
I touched the diamond. Was she talking about his sister's necklace? I frowned. She died during the attack at the Quidditch World Cup. According to Ella's story, she would have been working for the Malfoys then. Why did she think it ought to belong with her?
Snape narrowed his eyes. "You were never worthy enough to wear a Prince heirloom." I gasped at the sting his words inflicted. She stared, as though he'd slapped her. "That reminds me." He grabbed her left hand and tore off the ring on her fourth finger. "You are not my wife. Not anymore. Get out."
She looked up at him, tears wetting her face completely. Her cheeks were pink with embarrassment, her makeup ruined. "Severus don't do this..."
"Get out." He echoed, his voice low and calm. He was at his most dangerous. The calm before the storm. She'd best leave before he truly got upset. This was her final warning.
Then, if things couldn't possibly get worse, Minky appeared before me, bowing. "Is everything alright, Mistress? Minky heard yelling. Are Master and Mistress arguing again?"
I turned to look at my instructor for help, his eyes slid shut as a sigh of exasperation escaped him. Why now?
Ella turned her attention to the house elf. "Mistress?" She shrieked, hurt evident in her tone. "You never called me Mistress, you tiny little flea bag!"
Minky cowered, holding onto my leg as I stood, defending the poor creature. "Miss Ella!" she squeaked. "Minky never meant any harm, Mistress Granger protects Minky, you see. Mistress is Minky's friend." Her hands shook, backing away from the angry witch slowly, I encouraged her by following, letting her grab onto my hand. "Mistress takes care of Master now. Mistress cares for him like Miss Ella never did. That's why she's my Mistress."
The witch shot me an evil look. "Tell me, Mistress Granger, how do you care for Severus? Have you forgotten the power I hold over you? I could have you sacked for inappropriate relations. Unless, that's not the case. In which case, enlighten me, sweetheart."
My heart was pounding a mile a minute. How was I to respond? I met Snape's eyes and he nodded, something flashing in them. Something, dare I say it, hopeful and just a little bit scared. Was he telling me to tell her what was really going on? If so, what was there to tell? There was nothing, other than the occasional small smile, the brush of fingers, the warmth of him as he walked me to my rooms at the end of the evening.
That's when it dawned on me. There was nothing to tell. Nothing.
He'd been so very careful in his actions toward me from the very beginning. I intended to keep him safe. I offered her a small, meek smile. "As you know, Miss Mitchell, I am his apprentice. There are duties and services asked of me that I must comply to in regards to my post." I paused, gathering my courage. "As I've told you before, there is nothing going on between us, despite what the newspaper has to say."
She sneered. Her once flawless face marred and hidden away behind greed and selfish anger. "Impossible." The word burst from her lips. "How could you have acquired the trust of both Severus and his house elf, if you were not romantically involved."
I shrugged, taking in her sorry state. It was clear she knew I now held the upper hand. "There's more to life than throwing yourself at men to earn their trust. There is such a term referred to as respect." She hissed at my statement, Snape eyeing me carefully. I was treading a thin line. "I will give you this, however. I admit, my emotions towards Professor Snape may be slightly more than mutual respect as my teacher and mentor, but never ever have I acted upon them. I would not in a million lifetimes risk the opportunity to study under the most brilliant man I have ever met. I'd rather resign than make a mockery of him. If my resignation means you will leave him be after this, I will gladly do it."
Ella stared at me, as though she couldn't believe the words I was saying. "That's it? You'll just quit? For him?" She pointed to the man standing across from her.
I nodded, not trusting my voice. Minky tugged on my hand, as I fought back the tears that filled my eyes. I would not give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry. "Mistress, please don't leave Minky."
I offered the elf a watery smile. "I'm just trying to do what's right. I don't want to leave." My voice was strained with emotion and I wanted to slap myself. Dammit, Hermione. You're stronger than this! Some overemotional witch shouldn't be able to take you down so easily.
Ella shook her head, a humourless laugh escaping her painted lips. "Before anything is settled, I'll be having words with the Minister." She sent Snape a dirty look, before walking out the door, muttering to herself about how much of a fool I was.
Once she had gone and the door closed, Minky burst into tears, leaving the living room. I looked down at her retreating frame, afraid to face my mentor after my confession. Surely, he'd berate me for such indecency.
Instead, I was pleasantly surprised when he stood before me and lifted my chin with one finger to meet his eyes. There was something I had seldom before seen. His features were relaxed, his eyes gentle and somewhat concerned. "Silly girl," He whispered. "What have you gotten yourself into?" I shrugged. "Risking your post for some man who's made your life hell."
I quickly shook my head. "No! It isn't like that." I replied, my throat constricted by emotion. "I am honoured to have been taught by you, sir. I suppose I am worried that you'll think me daft and foolish after what I said." I looked down, my fingers knotted together.
I suddenly felt ridiculous. My words most likely caused more harm than anything else. An infatuated apprentice was the last thing he needed on his plate. Yet, he didn't seem overly upset. Perhaps I had misjudged the man standing-I then noticed-very, very closely to me.
"Look at me." The man in question said softly. I nervously met his eyes, biting my bottom lip. A nasty habit I had picked up over the years. "Did you truly mean what you said?"
Of all the things he could have said, his asking that particular question had definitely not crossed my mind. Surprised, it took me a moment before stupidly nodding. "Of course, I would resign if it meant you could have peace and quiet."
His light laugh tickled my cheek as he pulled me into his arms, finally resting his chin on the top of my head. "Oh, my darling girl..." I leaned away, frowning. "I meant what you said to Ella. Your confession." The way he said it in that velvet voice of his, caressed the words, making it sound so sensual.
He tucked away a stray curl that had escaped its bobby pin. My face flushed. I had hoped, idiotically, that he had missed that bit. Gathering my Gryffindor bravado, I sighed. I was possibly going to lose my job anyway, why not admit everything? I had nothing to lose. Except maybe the wholeness of my heart and the healthy state it was currently in. Okay, maybe I had quite a bit to lose.
I focused my gaze on his cravat, that had come loose. I tucked it back in properly, fixing the buttons of his coat over it. "I would be lying if I said that I didn't."
I sneaked a peek up at him and he dipped his head, capturing my lips with his. His arms wrapping around me, one around my waist, and the other cradling my neck, his fingers weaving through my hair. My fingers curled into the fabric at his chest, pulling him nearer. Merlin, the man was heaven. At my movement, he deepened the kiss, teasing my lips with his tongue, easing it into my mouth, caressing my own. I couldn't help the small moan that escaped me. So long, so long I had dreamt of a moment like this. A moment of pure and utter bliss in his arms. I never thought it could actually happen, though Merlin knew I'd wished for it.
He sat on the couch of his lounge, pulling me into his lap, never once did his lips leave mine. He pulled away for a moment, much to my discontent, only to place hot kisses along my throat, pushing aside the sleeve of my dress and continuing his trail along my shoulder. I turned, straddling him, doing anything to get closer. Our lips connected once again, a fiery clash of lips and teeth and tongues. It was at once too much, and not nearly enough. My fingers tangled in the ebony silk that was his hair. It was much softer than it looked, more pleasant that it appeared at first sight. His arms tightened around my waist, crushing me to him. Not that I minded.
We heard stirring from another room, the sound jolting us apart. My face reddened at what had just taken place. My skirt was hiked up dangerously, I had unknowingly unbuttoned the top of his coat and shirt, his scars peeking past his white collar. His cravat hanging loosely around his neck. He trailed a finger down my face, along my throat and down my arm. I sighed, subconsciously moving closer. I was acutely aware of my chest pressed up against his. He raised an eyebrow, his eyes gleaming sneakily. "I have you now, Little Gryffindor Princess. You willingly came into the serpent's rooms. Don't for one second believe I have any intention of letting you leave anytime soon."
My heart skipped a beat and began wildly palpitating at his words. They were so possessive, demanding. His voice was sin. The man ought to come with a warning. I pressed a feathery kiss to his lips, intending to make him feel as vulnerable as I did. "What of the party?" I whispered against his mouth, staying just far enough to tease him. Our lips brushed with my every word. He smirked and leaned forward to kiss me, but I leaned away.
He caught my head in one hand, holding me captive. "You're driving me mad." He muttered, pulling me in again.
Unfortunately, our blissful moment was interrupted by a knock at his office door.