Taylor’s POV
I sniffled as low as I could. The tears were still running down my cheeks as I angrily tried to continuously wipe them away from my face. I don’t know how long I had been crying but it was to the point I almost felt like I needed to drink water not to get dehydrated.
My eyes felt tired and my face was dry. I was cold and uncomfortable and I felt miserable as I sat in the chair. Stressed out I ran my fingers through my tussled hair, feeling the straightness of it had disappeared into my naturally wavy hair instead. Had I made the right choice or was it stupid?
Hesitation started building up in me as I sniffled again and decided this was the last time I would wipe my cheeks.
A low groaning sound erupted in the quiet room as I shot my head up and looked at Tom who shifted in the bed, flicking his eyes up. He glanced around in the dark room, probably not seeing me since it almost was pitch black in here. I didn’t want to light up the room as I sat in a chair in the corner of the room in complete darkness.
"Who is it?" He mumbled and stretched for the night lamp on the desk next to the bed.
I kept quiet as he winced when he stretched out his arm and he retracted it quickly, unable to light up the lamp. I crawled together in my chair without any sound as Tom grunted and sat up a little bit in the bed.
"I know someone’s in here" he clarified sternly but I heard his voice was husky and tired.
I clenched my jaw and looked down onto my socks, unable to think of anything to say. Before I could prevent it, a small sniffle left me and Tom sharply pulled for his breath.
"Taylor?" He asked as I could see in the dim light from the window next to him that he was glancing from side to side in the room, unable to see me.
"Hi"
"Where are you, I can’t see you. Can you please turn on the light?" He stated softly.
I didn’t even dare to move my position in the chair for some reason. It felt like I wasn’t really prepared to move out from my safety zone right this moment.
Tom seemed to sense my uneasiness for some reason as I could hear him shift in the bed once again.
"What’s wrong? Why don’t you want to turn on the lights?"
I didn’t want to answer him but I knew I had, to keep him from getting out from the bed.
"I’m not just sure I’m prepared just yet" I said, glancing up on him as he had fully sat up, frowning.
"Taylor, it’s just me" he stated.
I didn’t respond as he sighed and leaned his head back against his up-pulled pillow, making it comfortable and closed his eyes. I inhaled a small breath as I realized he was willing to wait me out.
It took me a good 20 minutes before I felt brave enough to move. I unwrapped my legs and put my feet on the wooden floor as I stood up. My sniffles had stopped but one or two erupted from time to time. The sweater I had wrapped around me that I had borrowed from Hirato was a little too big for me but it was one of those comfy sweaters as I had the zipper down on it.
I glanced at Tom who hadn’t moved since he spoke to me, as if he was meditating or something. I would never be able to pull it off to just sit still for a longer amount of minutes.
I walked up to the bed and sat down on the edge of it. It was quiet for a few more moments as I could feel the tension between us. It wasn’t comfortable in any way, it was edgy and nervous for some reason.
"How are you feeling?" I piped up as he still held his position, closed eyes, just breathing slowly.
"Better, but I feel like I’ve been a punching bag, everything hurts" he stated flatly.
I shifted a little bit so that I sat the smallest amount closer to him. The bruises on his arms and face were dark and looked sore, they weren’t near healing yet but at least he wasn’t bleeding anymore. His lip was still swollen but the cut had been cleaned so it looked at least decent. My chest tugged as I saw him so banged up.
"How are You feeling?" He retorted and opened his eyes, looking at me with those brown eyes.
I saw how he frowned as he looked over my arm where defined bruises and cuts from Anthony’s fingers lit up in dark colors. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and turned my arm away from him.
"Shocked and completely confused but okay I guess" I said as I scooted a little bit closer once again, feeling more confident.
"So what’s up with Blake?" He asked flatly, making me flinch.
I wasn’t really prepared for this just yet but I had no other choice than to just accept the fact and grab the bull by its horns.
"He’s on his way back to Paris" I said as in the corner of my eye I saw Tom cringing slightly, but he still held his composure.
"So you are leaving then?" He asked as I unwillingly tensed up. I nervously pulled my fingers through my hair as I was about to continue but was cut off before I even got the chance to take a breath.
"When is your plane going?" He continued coldly as I turned my head up and he was looking back at me with clenched jaws and a stiff stare.
"I’m not going to be on it" I said pointblank with a slight hiss, taking him by surprise. I didn’t like him judging me so easily. The stunned expression on his face told him he shouldn’t and honestly, was it that easy for him to believe that I didn’t care?
"Y-you’re not?" He stuttered and pursed his lips, trying not to show he was surprised by my answer.
"No, Blake went back without me."
It was quiet for a few moments and I kept my eyes in my lap, waiting for an answer.
"So what… what does that mean?" He questioned hesitantly.
"It means I’m not leaving" I said and a sniffle erupted once again, making me curse under my breath. I suddenly felt a warm hand wrapping itself around mine, sending tingling sensations through my entire arm.
"Taylor?...."
Tom’s voice was unsure and doubtful. I turned myself toward him, his brown eyes meeting mine. He was hesitating. I could see his eyes portraying hope that he desperately tried to suppress.
"I’m not leaving" I said and smiled hollow even though I did felt happy about it. His eyes searched mine as he squeezed my hand.
"Do you remember what I told you before I went to Anthony?" He questioned as I nodded.
I begged him not to make me choose between him and Blake and his respond was “I’m not”. I realized by that time that he wasn’t letting me make a choice; he was making it for me when he ran off to Anthony.
"You can have a normal life with Blake. Taylor, he can give you what you want, a steady normal life without any danger" He said as I came closer, taking a seat right in front of him as I pulled up his hand that was enlaced with mine and held it tightly in my lap.
"I know, but there is no one that will mean so much to me like you do, I love you Tom" I mumbled embarrassed.
I felt his hand sliding through my hair as he placed his other hand on my cheek, pulling me closer to him. His breath tingling onto my face. I locked my eyes in his, seeing his vulnerability and I guessed he saw mine too because this was one of those moments where everything I felt and hope for was lying in somebody else’s hands.
"I love you Taylor, more than you think" he mumbled before pulling me the final space between us, pressing his lips on mine.
I wrapped my arm around his neck softly to keep him close and kissed back with all the emotion I had. My mind started spinning, the world around me going into a blur as I felt Tom pressing himself closer to me.
It was this that was missing when I was with Blake. The intense rush of feelings, pouring out of my every muscle, my every vein. Nothing mattered when I was with Tom, as long as I was with him I knew I was going to be happy.
I could deal with everything in my life later but without him I felt hollow. He was the small glimpse of hope and happiness that I could always count on, always bring with me if I simply knew he had feelings for me.
Dizziness started acknowledging itself as I pushed Tom softly away to be able to breath. My heart was pounding and the burning tingles was searing through my entire body and my lips, Dear god they felt like they were scorching hot. I hadn’t felt that way in such a long time, I thought and rubbed them with the tip of my tongue.
"You have no idea how hard it has been to keep away from you" Tom whispered under his breath. I panted, looked him in the eye, his smoldering gaze almost knocking me over.
"You going all corny over me?" I teased as he started to smirk.
"I’m not allowed to?" He questioned, as I chuckled.
"I thought you were the most feared mafia boss around" I grinned as Tom tightened his eyes at me and pulled me close again and gave me a soft peck. I looked a little surprised at him as he grinned proudly at me.
Shaking my head and chuckling I rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hand. They felt drained, dry and drowsy from my lack of sleep and the hard crying that I had been doing for the entire night.
"Are you tired?" He asked as I nodded a little bit, it was still early morning and I had talked with Blake most of the night without getting any sleep.
Tom slid his arm around my waist as he pulled me down into the bed. I followed willingly and cuddled into his chest as he skimmed down as well and hugged me. I felt sheltered and this was the most right it had felt for me for a very long time.
I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, his cologne conquering my air as I felt at ease. I’d missed this so much it didn’t occur to me just how much, until I was lying in this same position as two years ago. This was my place to be and I didn’t even know how I could deny it for so long to myself when it felt so obvious right now. I’m such an idiot sometimes, really.
I bit my lips as I could still feel them tingling as Tom breathed slow and a bit jerky. Guessing, I would’ve gone that his pain was causing him to have a hard time breathing fully. Trying to make it a little better for him, I carefully placed my hand on his chest and rubbed my palm in small circles to maybe help with the pain. Closing my eyes, I remembered how good it felt to be sleeping next to him.
"Tom did you miss this?" I whispered and felt his heartbeats under my palm as I snuggled to his warm chest. He nestled his head next to mine and took a few more steady breaths.
"Every single day" he mumbled.
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A/N So a lot of you seem to love that anthony is dead, haha i feel so bad for the man!! Maybe i shouldn't have cut him in the story ;) but daaaaadum now even blake is out of the picture, what do you have to say about that?! And off the records, i saw The Hunger Games today and it was amaaaazing! You guys SO NEED to see it!! :D love to you all and hope you have a good thursday!