"From the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong.."
--
"Hi, I'm Edward." I said and offer my hand. You just laughed at me.
"Kisses." And you held my hand.
That was the first time we talked after a month or so. I built walls between us because of the fact that you're so nice and bubbly. I'm scared I might fucked up and you'll ignore me.
"You look like your dad." She said while looking at me.
"Are you serious?"
She smiled and nodded. "You really do."
I frown and she laughed again. I was taken a back when I saw her laughing at me. Damn, I wanna hear those laugh and see that smile on your face, baby.
"You look like Taylor Swift." I said. "You have bangs!"
She laughed. "Do I?"
I nodded. "You do."
She smiled at me. "Thanks."
I smiled at her. "Let's dance?"
She just nodded and took my hand. Damn, I'm gonna make this girl mine. She just broke down my walls.
--
"Siya nanaman ba iniisip mo?"
"Maymay." I greeted her. "No."
"Wag ka na magsinungaling pa." She said and smiled weakly at me.
"May.." I called her.
"Hanggang kailan ka ba magiging ganyan ha, Edward?"
"What are you saying?"
"Damn it, Edward! Patay na si Kisses! Hindi na siya babalik! Magmove on k--"
I cut her off. "Will you stop? We always fight with the same reason."
"Kasi hindi ka naman nadadala! Alam mo yon?! Ako nga ang kasama mo, ako nga ang girlfriend mo pero wala ka naman! Presensya mo nandito pero isip at puso mo nasaan?!"
"Isn't enough? I'm your boyfriend already."
She cried at what I said. "Akala mo ba ginusto ko? Akala mo ba ikaw lang nasasaktan at nahihirapan?!"
"Then, leave." I said. "I didn't asked you to stay."
"Si Kisses lang ang namatay, Edward. Hindi ikaw."
"But no one will understand what I feel right now."
"Kaya nga nandito ako! Girlfriend mo ako, Edward."
"How can you say that, May? Kisses is your bestfriend!"
"Anong pinupunto mo?"
"May, Kisses is your bestfriend. But why is it so easy for you to say that she's dead?"
"Nahihirapan din ako, Edward. Nasasaktan."
She said and left me. I looked at her and told myself, "But that's not what I see and feel."
--
"Edward.." Your mom called me in the middle of the night.
"Hmm. Tita?"
"Edward, this is Kisses mom."
I was shocked when I heard what the other line said. "Tita? Yes?"
"Can you come in our house?" She asked. "I know it's kinda late but I just wanna tell you something."
"Yes, tita. I'll come po." I said.
As I hang up the phone, I ran to get my keys and wallet. Neverminding my outfit, I just wanna go at Kisses house.
As I parked my car, I saw her Ate's crying. My forehead creased, why are they crying? One of her Ate's saw me and hugged me tightly.
"What's happening po?" I asked and she just shooked her head.
"Puntahan mo si Ma'am, nasa may sala lang siya." She said.
I walked at their front door, and my heart was beating so fast. What the fuck is happening? I stopped when I reached the door knob. I'm having second thought if I'll go or not. But I chose to go.
When her mom saw me, she immediately went up to me and hugged me tightly. I saw his dad looking at us but he looked away.
"Tita, what's happening po?" I asked.
"My daughter.." She stopped and started to cry. "S-she's g-gone."
"Po?" I asked again as if I didn't heard her.
"Edward, Kisses is gone.."
"N-no, tita." I said. "T-that's impossible! We were talking lang kanina before you called me."
She hugged me tightly. "That's her last wish, Edward."
"N-no.." I denied. "T-that's not true tita."
"Dalhin mo siya sa kwarto ni Kisses, Mahal." Tito Gilbert said. "Hayaan mo muna siya."
And there, Tita let me go and I went to Kisses' room. Baby, that's not true diba? You're not gone. That can't be.. I opened her room and wishing she was lying at her bed.. but no, she's not there. No one's there. Her bed is not messy and so her room.
I went to her study table and saw a letter. It's for me.. I don't want to read it but my hand betrayed me.
Edward,
Thank you for never giving up on me, for being there through the good and the bad. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for letting me enter your life. There is so much to say, but I got limited time..
I have to leave you, baby. I was diagnosed with ventricular fibrillation. Abnormality in heart. I didn't told you about my condition because I don't want you to get worried. I was hoping that I might survived because I know, I have reasons to live. But I was wrong, I hope you understand me.
I will always be here for you no matter what. I may not be there physically but spiritually, I'll be there. I'll fight with you, baby.
Please, live for me. Life goes on, baby.
Kisses
I didn't saw that one coming. I cried as I realize everything. She was not allowed to feel extreme emotions. She was not allowed to sleep late. She was not allowed to to go anywhere without her Ate's. How come I didn't notice that?
I cried out loud. Her mom hugged me, making me feel like I'm not alone. I didn't know how I got up and made home and cried for hours in my room. It fucking hurts that she left me without a word but left me with everything we had.
--
I drove for 2 hours just to be with her. I always go there, wishing that I might see her. Baby, please don't think na I'm just going here because of me and Maymay's misunderstanding ha?
"Kisses."
I called you as if you were here.
"Why did you have to leave me?"
I asked and started to cry.
"It hurts, it fucking hurts." I said. "I'm slowly dying."
How can I go on with my life, if you were not here?
"I told you, my life is invalid without you."
Why did you left me? Why did you chose to hid all the pain? Why? I can fight with you, baby.
It hurts, it fucking hurts thinking that you're gone.. forever. Do you feel how broken I am? Do you feel how miserable I am? My lifeline's gone. My queen is gone. How can I move?
They say I should I accept the fact the you're gone and move on. But how? How can I do that if my future life was already planned with you? Please tell me, baby. How? I cried again and he fell asleep hugging her thumbstone.