Baekhyun's POV
"Then I'll tell you," I murmured under my breath. She remains quiet in her seat as she anticipates the upcoming story. "It's because of my sister".
Few months ago
"Sis! I'm home!" I shouted as soon as I entered my house. Taking off of my shoes. She appeared out of the kitchen with her usual pastel purple apron on. "I've cooked you some of your fav! Come on!" She smiled. Ever since mom and dad divorced, Sis has been taking care of me and let both of us live. Dad went out of the house, leaving us in the house with Mom. Soon after, Mom couldn't handle and remarried with the guy she met, and they decided to moved overseas together and left hometown.
On that quiet night, I remember her face when she pulled her luggage towards the door, the me back then was begging her to not go. Sis was standing behind me as she cries. "Mom! Don't leave us!" I yelled. "Where are you going?!"
Mom stopped in her track and turned around to look at us. She looked at Sis, before looking at me. "Mom's very sorry", she mumbled under her breath. I was asking Sis to stops her, but she couldn't. She covered her mouth with her palm, looking away. Her cries won't stop. Mom planted a kiss on my forehead before grabbing her luggage and left the house.
All she could say to us was, 'Sorry'. Making us feel worse than ever. She won't gives us excuses, or reason. She left us with a 'sorry'. I cried as I called out to her, begging her to come back. Sis slowly approached me and hug me. Mumbled, "I've tried" to me. She repeated it over and over. Like chanting a spell in her cries. As if she hates herself that she couldn't stops Mom from going, as if she's blaming everything on her.
She was fragile before, in fact, she is fragile but for me, she stays strong. She takes care of me, like a sister, like a mother, and like a father.
She's the only one I have. And I love her so much.
"What did you cooked?" I asked, peeking at the kitchen as I saw many dishes were prepared on the dining table. She giggled. "Don't hesitate to eat. I'll go upstairs for a while. I'll join you after, okay?" She patted my head and headed upstairs after she hang her apron on the hook glued to the wall.
I obeyed and sat on the chair as I looked at the dishes. I decided to wait for her and eat together. I tapped my fingers on the table as I wait for her, wanting to surprise her. "What takes her so long?" I mumbled to no one in particular. I peeked at the stairs as I called for her. No response. My curiosity filled my head, and I climbed up the stairs. "Sis?" I called out for her again as I peeked at the direction of her room.
I stood in front of her room, knocking her door. "Are you in there?" I asked, but silence. "Are you okay? I'm coming in", I said. I slowly twisted the doorknob and opened the door. I can smell the smell of the bookshelf from her room, the smell of the arranged novels on her bookshelf. I stepped inside her room. "Sis?" I peeked inside her room and saw her standing by her desk, her back facing me.
"You're okay?" I asked. She turned around and looked at me, shocked. "Baekhyun-ah.." She murmured my name under her breath. "Are you okay?"
"You shocked me!" She smile. "Why are you still not eating?" She asked me. I told her that I was waiting for her so we could eat together. She showed me a soft smile. "Okay, let's eat", she said. I nodded my head and stepped out of the room. "You really cooked my fav foods, Sis--" I said but then was cut off when I heard a loud sound coming from her room.
"Sis? What happen--" I asked as I smile. But it didn't last long. My eyes grew wide, my breath cut short.
I stare at the floor. My sis' figure was lying down on the cold floor. "Sis--!" I ran to her side and wrapped her around my arms. Then, I feel something warm. I raised my palm and blood was covering some part of my fingers. "B-blood--" I stuttered, and quickly looked at my unconscious sister. She was holding a handkerchief stained with blood, the edge of her lips are red.
Tears escaped my eyes as I slowly touched her cheeks. "Sis.." I cried. I quickly took out my phone and dialed the hospital's number, my hands were shaking. After ending the call, I wrapped her around my arms tightly, crying. "Don't go.. Don't go.." I muttered, over and over. As if I'm begging her, or her soul, to stay with me. "Don't leave me.. Sis.. Don't leave me.." I repeated the words in her ears through my sobs. "Kajima.."
"Noona.."
---
I was waiting outside of her emergency operation room anxiously. I keep biting my fingers, looked at her operation room once in a while, and looked at the doctors that were coming in and out of the room. My anxious was driving me insane. I buried my face in my hands, took a deep breath and muttered, "it's okay".
I don't know what's okay, probably to keep myself calm, or probably I'm comforting myself that everything will be okay.
After waiting for so long, the light above the operation room turned off and I quickly lifted my head from my hands. A doctor came out of the operation room, walked towards my direction. "Are you her guardian?" The doctor directed the question at me. I quickly stood on my feet, "I'm her family", I answered.
"How is she?" I asked. The doctor stare straight into my eyes. "We've tried our best."
"She suffered a lung cancer for so long, and she'd reached her final stage", he said. "I'm sorry", he added as he bowed at me before patting me on the shoulder and left. His voice echoed in my head. "I'm sorry", he said. I looked at the operation room and saw the other doctors pushed her stretcher. I stopped the stretcher and lifted the cover off the figure lying down on the stretcher. Her skin was pale, her eyes were closed tightly, her lips lost its colour. "Sis.." I muttered. I fell on my knees, crying on her now cold figure.
Some of the doctors were shedding tears along with me. I couldn't shouted her name when I was feeling dead inside, I couldn't let out this madness inside of me. All I could do was cry, and mumbled her name.
---
I was sitting on the bench outside of the Hospital's building. Closed my eyes as my head leaned against the back of the bench. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the blue colour sky above me. I was thinking, "Ah, why do I feel like it's raining inside of me?"
I sat straight again and let out a deep breath. 'I have to prepare for her funeral today', I told myself. I stand up from the chair and walked away from the bench. Before I managed to walked out of the hospital, a girl caught my attention. She was sitting there, in her hospital uniform. She had her hose with her. 'How is she feeling, I wonder?', I asked myself. 'Is she suffering like sis did?'
We locked eyes for several minutes before I finally looked away and walked out of the hospital.
---
Present time. Baekhyun's POV
I didn't noticed that my finger has been playing with the straw for a while now. Hana remained quiet in front of me as she looked at me. Her eyes looked soft. "I moved out of the house and live at the apartment near your house", I stated. She nodded her head. Then she holds my hand as she smiles. "Do you want to go somewhere with me today? We'll be having extra mission"
---
"Where are you taking me?"
"Just stay quiet. Okay, boy?" She smiled. I can't help but to smile along as I nodded my head. We stopped at someplace, rather familiar to me but I couldn't grasped the familiarity. She holds my hand and pulled me out of the taxi. "Let's go!" She said, leading me towards somewhere I couldn't guess. But then, my senses are finally grasping the familiar atmosphere and I know where we are heading.
Then, we stopped in front of a grave.
Her name is carved there, on the stone. I slowly looked at Hana. She softly smile at me as I could see tears forming on her eyes. She's still holding to my hand as she said, "You missed her, right?"
Her question stings. It went straight to my heart and I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. "Come on, say hi", she said. I slowly knee down on the ground, touching the stone where her name is carved on it. "I miss you.." I mumbled through my sobs. "Sis.."
Hana bite her lips, I could hear soft cries from her. I slowly bend down and cry on the grave of hers. Longing for her voice when she praised me when I did something good, and when she scolded me when I did something wrong. Longing for her arms that protected me through so many hardships. Longing for her warmth that was similar to a mom's. I was too occupied with my own thoughts that I cried so much.
Hana slowly crouched down, and hug me. She softly patted my back as I cry in her arms. "It's okay. She'll be happy to meet you here today", she said.
---
While we are on our way back home, Hana suddenly playfully stepped in before me. She showed me a kid's smile. I asked her if something's wrong and she smiled. She held out her hands from her behind, and gave me a letter. "What is this?" I asked out of curiosity.
She didn't say anything and smile. "Are you writing me letters now--" I said but stopped when my eyes laid on the handwriting on the envelope. "Where do you get this?"
"That ahjumma gave it to me and told me to give it to you" She said.
"Which ahjumma?"
"She said she was close to her", she answered. I looked back down on the envelope in my hand. This is definitely her letter. "I'm home now. You should go back. It's dark already." She said, waving me cutely. She slowly wrapped her arms around me and buried her face on my clothes. "When you feel like you have no one, please remember that I will always be there," She pulled away from the hug. "My heart", she smile.
---
I slowly opened the envelope in my hand, my back is leaning against the wall. I flipped the letter opened and read them. For all these times, when I thought that Sis left me without any words, or goodbyes, have been proved wrong when I read her letter.
She wrote this on the day where she collapsed in her room. She knew she's going soon, so she left me with a letter instead since she couldn't tell me that she was suffering from the disease and will be leaving soon. I could imagine her writing this letter as she coughed onto her handkerchief. She could stopped it halfway but she didn't even when she was in pain. She hang in there, struggling with her pain to just left me, her brother, a letter.
I read her last paragraph.
'I'm sorry for leaving you behind. When you have no one around. I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. Sorry that I couldn't stop mom from leaving and sorry I couldn't stay with you until the end. Sorry for leaving you behind without any goodbye. And, sorry I couldn't be a better sister for you and see you off with a bride. Sorry,"
"And I love you, so much. Very much. Thank you for staying with me and thank you for becoming my brother. I am grateful to have you as brother. I love you. And, I'll miss you, uri dongsaeng."
"From, your sister"
I dropped my hand on the ground, the letter is still in my hand. I lifted my head and faced upwards as I cry. I hugged my knees and buried my face on it.
---
I wake up the next morning, and look at the two letter on the shelf. And I smile before going out.
I wrote a letter back for my sister even when I know she couldn't read them. I want to say everything to her.
"Thank you for staying strong for me, hug me when there's no one would, take care of me like a mother, and thank you for staying with me until your last breath. Thank you for being considerate and left me with a letter. And thank you for becoming my sister. I love you too. And, I'll miss you too,"
"From, your brother".
---
A/N: aNOTHER UPDATE! OMG COLLEGE IS STARTING AGAIN SOON TT BUT I'LL MAKE SURE TO FINISH THIS ONE REAL QUICK. Hope you guys like the update and please don't hesitate to leave your comments. It is very welcomed in my fanfics ^^ Have a nice day!