"I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. Oh, babe, I hate to go."
--
"Wanna go to Germany?" Edward asked me.
"No, everyone." I said and smiled.
"Wanna come with me to Germany?" He asked again.
I was dumbfounded when he asked me that. I wanna say yes but I can't.. So, I ended up saying no.
--
I smiled when I remembered the first time he asked me to go with him to Germany. I'm so lucky that I was the first one he invited.
"Nangiti ka nanaman, bruha!" Biglang singhal sakin ni Fenech dahilan para magulat ako. "Oh sige, subukan mong tumanggi!"
Natawa na lang ako sa kanya. "Wala, may naalala lang ako."
"Ano? O dapat bang sabihin ko sino?" Nakangisi niyang tanong.
Napailing na lang ako sa sinabi ni Fenech. It's been a month nung natapos na yung PBB journey namin. Sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari. Dati akala ko kapag tapos na yung PBB okay na, maraming magbabago pero may mga nadagdag naman sa experiences mo.
May mga bago kang kaibigan pero bukod doon yung mga taong handa kang suportahan kahit hindi ka naman nila personal na kilala. Sobrang nakakataba ng puso kasi sobrang ramdam mo yung love nila sayo.
Actually, mini reunion namin ngayon dahil aalis si Marco at Edward para magbakasyon. Pero iilan lang kaming magkikita kita ngayon.
"Kamusta kayo ni Edward?" Tanong bigla ni Fenech.
"Wala, no! Magkaibigan lang kami."
"Sus, napakadefensive mo!" Ani Fenech.
"Hala! Friends nga kami." Depensa ko.
"Sus! Ikaw nga lagi binabanggit nun sa set eh."
"Ha?"
Natawa naman siya. "Syempre, alam ko lahat! Umamin na ba sayo?"
"Fenech!!" Angal ko.
"May utang kang kwento!! Ano yon? Paano nangyari?!"
"Wala nga! Friends lang kami!" Depensa ko.
Hinila niya yung dulo ng buhok ko. "Umamin ka na. Umamin na si Edward sakin."
"Aw, Fenech!" Reklamo ko. "Oo na, oo na. Magkukwento na."
Binitawan naman niya agad yung buhok ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako dahil sa wala na akong choice kung hindi magkwento sa kanila.
--
May meet and greet with the KissWard Pans kami ni Edward. Oo, may fansclub na kami. Taray, diba? Sikat na talaga kami. He's kinda pissed when I told him na mauna na. He wants kasi na sabay kami but I still have class pa kaya pinapauna ko na siya sa venue. I told him na sa venue na kami magkita dahil out of the way yung set nila sa school namin.
When he saw me at the entrance he immediately went to me para salubungin ako. He's not in his goofy mood that's why I decided na wag muna siyang biruin.
"Why are you late?" Bungad niyang tanong.
Napasimangot ako sa kanya. "It's just 3:30, Ed."
"Yeah. And you're dissmissal is 2:30." Nakasimangot din siya sakin.
"Uh, traffic?"
He just looked at me and turned his back. Hindi naman ako nakatiis kaya nagback hug ako sa kanya. Nagsitilian naman yung mga kasama namin sa venue.
"I'm sorry na po." Wika ko.
He didn't answered me. Inulit ko ulit yung sinabi ko pero hindi pa rin niya ako pinapansin. So, I decided to let him go. Pero hinarap niya ulit ako.
"Next time, when I say I'll fetch you at school don't say no. I don't want my girl waiting alone when it's traffic. Arayt?" He said with a serious tone. I was absent mindedly nodded at what he said.
"Let's go." He said and held my hand.
I know, I look like a tomato now. Ikaw ba naman sabihan ng ganun? Jusko, Edward! What's wrong with you?! Napapailing na lang ako habang hinihila ako ni Edward. He's back on his goofy mood now. How moody he can be?
Nung natapos na yung meet and greet nag-aya si Edward na maglakad lakad muna. I was hesitant at first baka kasi pagkaguluhan siya pero mukha talagan gusto ni Edward kaya pumayag na ako.
As we walked, wala namang pumansin samin. Okay? What's happening? Edward and I ended up seating near the bay. We looked at the sunset.
"Kisses, can I confess something?" His tone was serious kaya napalingon ako.
"Uh, yes?"
"In kuya's house, you were the first girl I wanna be close with." He said. Literal akong napaawang ng bibig sa sinabi niya. "But, as time goes by, I chickened out. You were different. I mean, come on. Who wouldn't like to be close with you? You're almost perfect. Yes, you are. That's why I got scared. I don't want to hurt you. I saw how you build a wall. A giant wall between me and you, and I can't easily break it."
Hindi ako makapagsalita sa mga sinabi niya. Hindi ko alam kung saan ba ako dapat unang magkomento.
"And then, there. After how many eviction, I learned to get along with you. With the other housemates. It's not really the language barrier. It's my way of thinking. That sometimes you guys might misunderstood me. But no, you were there to support me. To make me feel like I'm not an outcast." He paused and he smiled at me. "And a realization hit me. I chickened out because, I like you. I didn't feel like I'm an outcast because I was falling."
Mas lalo akong nagulat sa huli niyang sinabi. Hindi ko na rin napansin na tumutulo na pala luha ko. Oh my god? Is this true?! Umaamin ba si Edward sakin?!
"And now, I fell hard. I really fell hard. That I don't think I still can keep it to myself." He said while looking to me straight to my eyes. I felt like I'm a jelly ace na matutunaw na anytime. "Yes, Kisses. I'm inlove with you."
--
"Oh my god?!!!!!! Kisses!!!! May lovelife ka na!!!!" Sabi ni Fenech sabay yugyog sakin.
"Fenech, masakit!" Angal ko.
"Ih, kakilig naman kasi yun bessy!" Aniya. "Pero di ba sinasama ka niya sa Germany? Ano sasama ka?"
"What? No!" Agap ko.
"Ano ka ba! Chance mo na makilala mga mahal sa buhay ni Edo!" Aniya sabay hampas sakin.
"Ouch!" Angal ko. "Kung lahat tayo, sasama ako."
Napasimangot naman siya sakin. "Ikaw nga lang sinasama niya."
Umiling na lang ako. Saktong nagsidatingan naman mga kasama namin, syempre tuwang tuwa kami dahil kumpleto kami. Si Marco todo bakod kay Vive. I don't know bakit. Edward wasn't on his goofy mood.
"You okay?" Tanong ko sa kanya as I sat beside him.
He smiled. "Yes."
"Really?" He pinched my cheeks. "Ouch, Ed!"
He laughed. "You're so cute."
I gave him a death glare but he just laughed.
"You sure you won't come to Germany with me?" He asked.
"No, Ed. It's your vacation."
"But my vacation is invalid without you."
I patted his head and smiled at him. "You'll be fine. Ate Laura's there."
He just groan and I laughed. Hay, Edward. Don't make pilit me. Baka mapasama ako ng wala sa oras.
Kinabukasan inihatid namin sa airport si Edward. Mauuna siya ng isang araw kay Marco. Magkakasama kami nila Fenech na naghatid kay Edward.
"You hundred percent sure not coming with me?" Tanong ni Edward.
Bumuntong hininga ako. "Ed, come on. We already talk about this."
"Fine, fine." Pagsuko niya. "But still, I wish you change your mind."
Napailing na lang ako at naggroup hug kami. Hindi ko malaman kung ano ba dapat kong maramdaman. Maiinis ba sa sarili ko dahil hindi ako makakasama o maiinis ako dahil hindi ko magawang pigilan siya.
Isang araw na mula nung makaalis si Edward. Ang lungkot lungkot ng buhay ko dahil walang nangungulit sakin. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung ano gagawin ko.
"Ayos ka lang ba, 'nak?" Tanong ni Mama sakin.
"Opo, ma."
"Hm? Sigurado ka?"
"Yes po, ma."
"Alam mo kasi, 'nak.. pwede ka naman sumama sa kanya eh." Wika ni Mama. "Hindi ka naman namin pipigilan."
"Ma! Binubugaw mo ba ako?" Nanlalaking mata kong tanong.
"Ano?" Natatawang tanong ni Mama. "Alam kong gusto mong sumama sa Germany. Why not go after him? After all, you both feel the same."
Nawindang naman ako sa mga sinabi ng nanay ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong ginawa kong maganda para pagbigyan niya ako ng ganito. Basta ang alam ko sobrang saya ko.
Agad agad kong tinawagan sa skype si Ate Laura para magpatulong sa kanya. Sakto naman na wala si Edward dahil may pinuntahan daw. Sinabi ko sa kanya yung balak ko at pareho kaming excited.
Dalawang araw yung lumipas at hindi pa rin kami nakakapagusap ni Edward. Ako na yung tumawag sa kanya sa viber para magkausap kami.
"Hi!" Masaya kong bati sa kanya.
"Kisses." Aniya sa mababang boses.
"Where are you?" Tanong ko.
"House."
"Whachu doin'?"
"I'm actually closing the gate. I don't know where's Ate Laura."
"Call her?"
"She's not answering. Wait, where are you?"
"I'm at.. uhm."
"Where?"
"Uhh."
"Kisses. Where?" Madiin niyang tanong.
"I'm with Neil."
"What?!" Sigaw niya. Pinipigilan kong matawa. "Why are you with him?!"
"Uh, date?"
"Kisses. I'm not joking with you. Why. Are. You. With. Him.?"
"Turn around, Ed."
"I told you, I'm not joking."
"Turn around."
"No! I'm asking you."
"Just do it. Okay?"
And he did. He was dumbfounded when he saw me standing across their house. I was with ate Laura. She fetch me at the airport earlier to surprise Edward.
"Hi." I said nang nakarating ako sa harap niya.
"K-kisses." Nauutal niyang sabi. "Are you real?!"
Natawa ako sa sinabi ni Edward at bigla siyang yumakap sakin ng mahigpit.
"Someone missed me very much." I teased him.
He chukled. "Yes, I missed you very much."
"I missed you more."
"Welcome to Germany, babe." Aniya na ikinatawa ko. "And, I really hate leaving you."
"Oh, babe, you don't have to leave me again. Dahil kung nasan ka o ako, for sure magkasama na tayo." I told him and hug him tighter.