November 10th
His lips meet mine and I'm left mindless.
Kissing him felt like every book I've ever read. First I'm skeptical but then when I fall into it I can't get enough. I want more. I want to feel his body against mine, I want to feel like I'm floating, I want to feel like this is forever.
He kisses down my neck and I'm lost in the feeling of the tingles running through my body.
How could I have went my whole life without feeling his hands leaving goosebumps in their wake as he trails them up my shirt? How could I have went this long without moaning out his name? How long have I went without needing to hear him groan out mine?
Why have I never known that I needed to have him?
"I want you," he says into my collarbone as my eyes close.
I'm left breathless, only able to say one word.
"Greyson."
***
I fling myself out of bed with a gasp. Let me clarify, I fling myself out of my sleeping bag that I'm sharing with Sam. Who by the way is on the other side of the tent with a blanket wrapped around herself and a glare pointed straight at me.
Did I seriously just have that dream?
It was just a dream, Skyler. Calm down.
I intake a deep breath and run my hands through my hair.
Sam clears her throat making me give her my full attention. "Are you done moaning in your sleep or am I gonna have to kick you out to the bears?"
Oh god! I was moaning! How embarrassing.
"I-I'm done."
She yawns, "good," and crawls over to the sleeping bag, flopping down and closing her eyes. I pull my hair to my shoulder and start playing with it. Watching as Sam falls asleep, hearing the sound of birds and bugs waking up for the day. I need to take a walk. I need to get that damn dream out of my head.
Why am I dreaming about Greyson in the first place?
Why am I dreaming about Greyson doing those...things to me at all?
I scoot to the door of the tent and as I'm unzipping I hear Sam shift. I look back to see a smirk on her face.
"Just in case you were wondering. I'm sure Greyson would be thrilled to know that you were having a sex dream about him."
"Oh you..."
She dismisses my words with a laugh and rolls back over with her eyes sealed shut. I groan as I step out of the tent and look into the early morning light. I must have fallen asleep after Cole left.
I rub the fatigue from my eyes, I really wish I wouldn't have cried so much. Now my eyes are gonna be swollen.
I can't even think about the fact that Cole is not mine anymore. How is it that everything just went to complete crap within two months? How is it that we were so great and now I broke up with him because I know that he's in love with someone else? But the biggest question is why is it not hurting as bad as it should? Why does it feel like I lost something but I'm quickly gaining back something that might even be better? Why is it that my mind is on a total different planet? A planet full of kissing, touching, and Greyson freaking Black.
One moment I'm walking towards the frozen lake and the next I'm walking into a tree. I fall down into the cold dirt with a groan. Seriously? What is it with me today? Did I seriously forget how to be a proper human being? I just need to clear my head of Greyson. And Cole. And any boy for that matter.
That's it, I'm declaring it.
You, Skylar Rose Hastings, are not aloud to think of any boys in anyway for a whole month. Thats right, deal with it!
"Ouch, that looked like it hurt."
I open up my eyes to see Greyson crouching down next to me. Without a shirt no less! Oh what I would do to...
What did we just talk about Skyler? No Boys!
I smile cheekily at him, "it was like running into a marshmallow. Didn't hurt at all. You can continue on with your..." I look him up and down. What was he doing? It's like 20 degrees out here. How is he in shorts and no shirt. "Hike?"
He laughs and holds out a hand for me to take. I wrap my fingers around his and mentally scold myself for noticing how big and calloused they are. I quickly pull out of his hold when I'm on my feet again and shove my hands into my pockets nervously.
"You're mighty jumpy this morning, Smiles."
I love the way his voice sounds when he says Smiles...
Oh dear god, Skyler. What is wrong with you this morning?
"Oh yeah well your mighty naked this morning so...what do you have to say for yourself?"
Yes. That's the smart thing to do Skye. Mention that you're noticing the fact that he's half naked. Maybe, while you're at it, you should tell him about the chocolate abs you were imagining the other day to.
He raises an amused eyebrow at me, "does me not having a shirt on bother you? Do you want me to put on a shirt so you can focus better."
"No!" I chirp, then immediately regret it. "I mean...I don't care. You can run around naked for all I care. Or you can dress up like a lumberjack I don't care what you do. It's your life."
He smirks, "you want me to run around naked?"
I throw my hands up spastically, "don't mix up my word sir! I got to go." I start to run away from him, "have fun on your hike."
He laughs and then yells after me, "it was actually a run."
"I don't care!" I yell back. When I get back to the tent I bend over with my hands on my knees and take deep breaths.
What the hell just happened out there? I said he could dress up like a lumberjack. What does that even mean?
I'm going completely crazy. Absolutely insane.
***
"You're like a sexy lumberjack."
I flip around with wide eyes to see Violet pulling at the collar of Liams blue and white flannel. My heart beat slows down when I realize that Greyson did not in fact tell people about our awkward encounter this morning. But In fact, Violet and Liam are just being gross. It's to soon for lovey dovey crap.
I've been avoiding him all day. And let me tell you, it was difficult. I mean it was like he was everywhere. The frozen lake, Rowans tent (to be fair it's his as well,) my tent (to not be fair he was looking for Sam, not me.)
"Can I talk to you guys?"
I look behind me to see Sam standing there awkwardly with her hands stuffed awkwardly in her jeans and a nervous smile on her face. I nod as Liam kisses Violet's cheek and comes up wrapping his arms around mine and Sam's shoulders.
He leads up to Sam and I's tent and we all settle in. It's odd...I never see Sam this nervous. Other then when she's by Rowan, although lately she hasn't really been acting as nervous. How am I just noticing this now?
"Whats up, Sam?" Liam asks with his concerned voice.
I cross my legs and scoot in closer to our little circle. This is what I've been missing. All three of us, in one tent, sharing secrets like we do every year. I grab the Oreos from under Sam's pillow and give each of us two.
Sam twirls hers between her fingers and watches it instead of looking at us. "I have to tell you something...it's um - a little awkward. And I know that this isn't really the best time for me to be even telling you guys this, with everyone else here and all. And with Skye and Cole breaking up and all... but I just have to get it out."
I chew on my lip nervously, "it's okay. You can tell us. Were your best friends. We'll love you no matter what."
She looks up quickly and smiles a small smile at us before looking back down at her cookie. "I ah. I started dating someone."
I look over at Liam to see him with a shocked expression. Rowan? He mouths. I shrug and look back at Sam.
"That's great. Do we know them?" I ask slowly.
She shakes her head, "no. Um...we met at the record store."
"Well tell us about him," Liam chirps excitedly.
She looks up at us and chews on her thumb nail, "that's the thing. It's a her...her names Blue."
Oh...
That's why she's acting so weird. I look over at Liam, he nods his head and the next thing we know were attacking Sam with hugs. She laughs and starts to push us off.
"Okay, okay. You weirdo's. I get it."
I smile at her, "I'm happy for you Sammy."
She smiles back as Liam claps his hands, "oh our little Sammy Whammy has a girlfriend. How cute!"
Sam rolls her eyes "never call me Sammy Whammy again and she's not my girlfriend yet. We've only went on a few dates. I'm just exploring I guess."
"What about Rowan?"
Sam looks over at me with a shrug, "I don't know. It's not like Rowan would ever look at me the way I look at him. I just figured I shouldn't sit around hoping something would happen with him. I just made a decision to found someone that made me happy. Maybe that's Blue."
I guess that's what we all need to do. Find someone that makes us happy. Even if the thought of them absolutely terrifies us.
***
I spin around in a circle trying to find a seat around the fire. Unfortunately it looks like we're all out. I guess is the cold hard ground-
"Just sit down weirdo," Greyson pulls me into his lap with a laugh. My eyes widen as his arms wrap around my waist and he leans his chin on my shoulder.
This is so not helping my no boys month. Especially as his breath ghosts over my collarbone and I have to resist the urge to lean into him.
Snap out of it Skyler!
"You know what! I'm gonna go for a uh walk. Yeah a walk," I announce to the group. Sam smirks at me as Rowan stares at her. Liam and Violet are in their own little planet and I'm pretty sure they don't even notice that I'm going through a crisis over here.
"Oh I'll come," Greyson whispers to me. I don't know if I can stand up.
"Y-you don-"
He pushes me to my feet and wraps his arm around my shoulder, "where to, love?"
"I..."
Good communication skills, Skye. Your inner self applauds you.
He starts walking us to the lining of trees, "I do appreciate your copious amounts of suggestions but I think I know of a place."
I glared up at him - must he always be so sarcastic? The glare of the crackling fire fades away and were left in the soft hue of night with nothing but the sounds of our breathing and the bugs drifting to sleep.
Greyson strides through the trees as if he's taken this trail a million times. He unwraps me from his arm and instead floats his hand down to mine. As we intertwine our fingers a spark comes with each finger connecting.
"Where are we going, Grey?"
He turns his head towards me and even though the woods are dark I can see his silhouette. He speeds up our pace and I'm left holding on to his hand for dear life as I try to not fall on my face from all of the branches littering the ground.
"It's just a little further," he whispers, the wind sending me his words.
As I trip over my last stick he stops and grins. "Here."
I look up at the tree skeptically and then back over at Greyson. "This is your grand place? Wow, a tree. It's not like were surround by thousands or anything..."
I don't have to see him clearly to know that he's rolling his eyes with that goofy smile of his.
"Come on, Smiles. Get climbing."
Wait, what?
"I'm not climbing that!"
Next think I know he's behind me and his hands are on my waist lifting me up. I quickly grab onto the branch in front of me and pull myself up before I fall to the ground. Don't need anymore embarrassment tonight.
I grasp onto the branch and sit down for dear life. I look down to see Greyson jump up and grab the branch before masterfully swinging up to the branch next to me as if it's nothing.
"Okay spider monkey,' I mumble as he scoots closer to me.
I look at him to see that cocky smirk clear as day. "What do you think?"
"I think that we're sitting on a tree for no apparent reason."
He rolls his eyes and pushes my chin away from him towards the night sky.
Wow...
I can see the moon so clearly as if it's right in front of me. And the stars...every twinkling light is so beautiful. It's gorgeous...but it will never be like Greyson's roof top. Nothing ever will.
"I thought it would be a good star gazing spot," I look over to see Greyson staring off into the night sky with a smile. One of those smiles that make every nerve ending in my body ignite as if a bomb was set off. "I guess I was right..."
I look back up at the moon and smile, "you have an eye for beautiful sights."
I glance over at Greyson to see him looking at me with a expression I can't quite place. He nods, "I sure do."
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and look at Greyson. His stormy grey eyes lighting to a blue in the moonlight. He lifts up his hand and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip. I stare at him, never wanting this to end. I scooting closer to him and take the step that I've been so afraid to take.
Were so close that our breath are mingling together, his hand is at my waist, and my eyes are fluttering closed.
Thump!
All the warmth leaves me and I snap open my eyes to see Greyson's space completely empty. I hear a groan from below, quickly looking down I see Greyson sprawled on the ground with his hand rubbing the back of his head. "Holy! Greyson are you okay?"
He gives me a groan with a thumbs up. Oh dear god, "you fell out of a tree!"
"Yup! I just fell out of a tree," he replies in a defeated tone.
"I-uh, why did you fall out of a tree?"
He stands up with a moan and looks up with me with his hand on the back of his head. His eyes are panicked and with his other hand he starts waving it around frantically as he speaks. "You started coming at me with your lips!"
I-what? He seriously didn't want to kiss me so bad that he would rather fall off of a tree. Well there's my self esteem flying away with all my hope. Goodbye forever!
I open my mouth to say...anything. Anything besides 'why don't you want to kiss me!?' But Greyson starts babbling again, "your face was just-and I just-I got to go."
And I thought I was the weirdo this morning.
Greyson practically starts to run away even though I'm still stuck up in this damn tree. "Greyson!" He's already gone, "you're just going to leave me up in this tree!"
Great, just great! Now I'm stuck up in a tree, unkissed, and completely rejected. Awesome.