"No one can get in the way of what I feel for you."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I sighed, comfortably perched with my head leaning on Sasuke's bare chest. No, you dirty-minded people, we didn't sleep together. We just went through a heated make-out session, his shirt came off... And now, we just lay down together, completely silent.
I was tracing circles on Sasuke's palm as he stroked my hair. Suddenly, he broke the silence by saying, "Can you tell me about Itachi?"
"Depends... What do you want to know?" I inquired, looking up at him.
He was silent for a few seconds. "Anything. A story. You spent a lot of time around him, right?"
I nodded, thinking about what story I should tell. I grinned when I thought of the perfect one.
"One day, we were all just hanging around in the hideout. There weren't any missions lately, and Ryuu and I had short training sessions, so we all had some down-time in the living room. Out of nowhere, I started glaring at Itachi. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him that I was mad at his hair. He asked why, so I told him that it was just too perfect. I mean, his hair was even glossier than mine!"
That brought a small smirk to Sasuke's face, and I smiled, continuing.
"Everyone laughed, but I was still jealous of his hair. So I spoke to Kisame, and we came up with a prank. We hadn't fooled anyone in a while, and we'd never really tried to prank Itachi. I guess we were both scared that he might use the Mangekyo on us... Anyway, the next day, Ryuu and Itachi went somewhere to train. While they were gone, I snuck into Itachi's room and put pink hair dye into his shampoo.
"Days passed, and eventually, Itachi washed his hair. It ended up pink, and we all laughed like we were insane when we saw it. Kisame and I made sure we didn't look suspicious, and it worked. Well... We thought it did. We were having a mini-party in our heads because Itachi hadn't known that it was us.
"Eventually, the day came that I had to watch my hair. I wasn't suspecting anything... So I used my shampoo like nothing. When I finished, I found out that my hair was green. Kisame's was orange. We instantly interrogated all of the Akatsuki members, but they all had stable excuses.
"When Itachi came into the kitchen, he surveyed our hair colors and casually said, 'Not so funny now, is it?' Kisame and I almost had a heart attack. When I trained that evening, Itachi made it extra brutal. By the end of the it, I felt like I was going to drop dead," I finished, shuddering. "I swore to never pull a prank on him again."
"How long did the dye last?" Sasuke inquired.
"A week," I answered. "Which gave Itachi enough time to photograph us. He framed the picture and put it in the living room, for everyone to see. We tried to destroy it, but he put some sort of seal on it... It stayed there forever, so everyone got to see me with green hair!"
"Hn... Green hair, huh?" He murmured, pushing his face into my hair. "Figures that'd happen to you."
"Your brother didn't really appreciate me coloring his hair pink," I said, sighing. Then, I got an idea. "Hey, Sasuke, would you mind if-"
"Don't even think about it," He warned.
"But you'd look cute with pink hair!" I protested.
"Not gonna happen," He said.
"Eh, it was worth a shot," I said, shrugging.
He was about to kiss me when Madara appeared in the doorway. He surveyed our position, tilting his head and saying, "Don't you people ever get tired of each other?"
"Aw, jealous, Madara?" I inquired mockingly, grinning at him. Sasuke smirked slightly, looking up at the older man.
"Not at all, Minxie," Madara assured. "Although I must say... I'm surprised to see that you're not sick of each other yet."
"I'm awesome, man!" I announced. "No one can get sick of me. It's just like that."
He sighed, shaking his head. He looked at Sasuke. "Sasuke," He said. "I've gathered your team. Let's go."
Sasuke sighed, but he gently removed me from on top of him and slid his shirt on.
"Really?" I said, turning to Madara. "You had to interrupt now? Do you really hate me that much?"
"Of course not," Madara said, but I still didn't stop glaring at him. "Quit looking at me like that. I, for one, think some separation would be good for the two of you. Healthy. I'm sure I speak for both myself and for Team Taka when I say that we could all use a break from your constant displays of public affection."
It was weird hearing Sasuke's team being referred to as Taka instead of Hebi, but I didn't really mind the change much. In my book, Taka was an upgrade from Hebi. The latter reminded me too much of Orochimaru.
I hadn't even noticed that Karin, Suigetsu, and Jugo were also in the hideout with us. Apparently, Kisame had been the one to lead them there, but I had yet to encounter my old Uncle Fishstick. I wasn't sure what I would say to him, either. It was hard imagining him without thinking of Itachi as well.
Suigetsu, of course, had been thrilled to have me back. I didn't want to admit it, but I'd missed him a little, too. It was nice having someone at the hideout who would actually laugh at my jokes and carry a decent conversation with me. Sasuke didn't mind our friendship, until he saw Suigetsu hitting on me. The Uchiha was furious, of course, even when I tried to soothe him by telling him that he had nothing to worry about. Needless to say, after a harsh conversation between the two boys that I'm glad I didn't witness, Suigetsu stopped hitting on me. He still called me "hot stuff," but he made sure that when did, Sasuke wasn't around.
Karin was, as expected, enraged by my presence. I knew it wasn't worth it, so I did my best to stay away from her. When we did cross paths, she shot me the deadliest glare she could muster, which I figured had everything to do with the fact that Sasuke and I were together again. Jugo, however, welcomed me back, albeit not as enthusiastically as Suigetsu had.
"Not my fault you guys don't know when to look away," I muttered. That's what Jugo usually did whenever Sasuke and I kissed in front of him, anyway. Karin just kind of glared at me, and Suigetsu, of course, would make a perverted comment, but I was used to those reactions and had gotten very good at ignoring them. Sasuke was, too. "I never imagined you were such a prude, Madara."
Sasuke smirked at my words, and I could see Madara's one visible eye roll.
"I can assure you, Minxie, I am no such thing," He said. "Although I must admit, watching you two shove your tongues down each other's throats is not something I find enjoyable."
"Whatever you say." I waved my hand dismissively as Sasuke leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. He began to pull away, but I stopped him, grabbing his collar.
Before he could as what I was doing, I pulled him back down to me, making our lips connect. He didn't protest. Instead, he was instantly absorbed into the kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth before anything else could be done.
Madara groaned at the sight, and I finished kissing Sasuke so I could laugh.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed innocently. "I almost forgot you were there."
His Sharingan eye scowled at me. "Ha, ha."
Sasuke just smirked in amusement, giving me a kiss on the cheek before I released him.
"You can make out later, but please, make sure it's behind closed doors," Madara said. "Let's go, Sasuke."
I looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "Go where?"
"It's nothing," Sasuke said quickly. "Stay here." He and Madara left together, and my eyes narrowed at the spot where they once stood.
"Stay here my ass," I muttered to myself before getting up off the bed and exiting the room. I wandered around for a bit, silently cursing Madara for picking this hideout. How on Earth was I supposed to find my way around here? Everything looked the same! This was as annoying as the time when I'd wandered through Orochimaru's hideout.
Eventually, I came across a large room that appeared to be a meeting hall. Sasuke sat at the head chair around what looked like a stone table. He turned when he saw me approaching him and stood up.
"I thought I told you to stay in our room," He said, his arms reaching out to wrap around my waist.
I stood in front of him, placing my arms around his neck and raising an eyebrow, "Did you really think I'd listen?"
He smirked. "Of course not." He leaned down and connected our lips, and I kissed him for a few moments before pulling away.
"Where's everyone else?" I inquired. "I thought Madara said that he'd gathered your team."
"He did. I dismissed them already," Sasuke answered. "I was actually on my way back to you right now."
I nodded, looking around the room. "So, is this where all the bad guy planning goes down? What was on today's villain agenda? Have you decided to conquer a small country, or do you want something more ambitious, like world domination? Normally, I wouldn't ask, but considering you've joined the world of criminals, I figure it's better to know."
He shook his head, sensing my sarcastic tone right away. "I know you don't agree with what I'm doing, but you have to admit that things are more complicated than the usual good guy versus bad guy scenario you like to imagine."
"That's be easier to do if we didn't have a psychopath sleeping across the hall from us," I muttered with a frown.
"Isn't it exhausting, being so righteous all the time?" He inquired.
I shot him a dry smile. "It's surprisingly easy to do in the presence of outlaws."
He sighed, smirking a little. I tried to smile as well, but it felt wrong. We were okay with joking about our situation, but that didn't make it any less awful. I supposed joking convinced us that things were okay, even when we both knew for sure that they weren't.
"Can we go somewhere today?" I questioned suddenly. "I don't care where. I just want to get out of here, even if it's only for a few hours."
Sasuke stared at me for a few moments before nodding. "All right. Follow me." He led me out of the meeting room, and the two of us walked through the corridors of the hideout, hand-in-hand. The exit wasn't at all very secret, but it looked so much like the other rooms that I hadn't even noticed it.
The minute we stepped outside, I immediately felt the difference. The air out here was completely different from the air in the hideout. Out here, I felt like I could actually breathe. We were on a high mountain peak, but the descent to the forest below was quite simple for Sasuke and I, since we were shinobi, after all. We walked in silence for about 15 minutes, merely enjoying each other's presence and the breathtaking view around us. The forest's tree tops were so tall that they appeared to be touching the sky.
The hideout was, surprisingly, close to a town, where Sasuke stopped to grab us some food, while I continued exploring. I found a waterfall that emptied into a lake, a sight I never imagined I'd see in a place like this. That was where Sasuke found me several moments later. He was carrying two bento boxes, and he looked almost relieved when he saw me.
"What?" I shot him a teasing grin. "Did you think I'd leave you or something?"
"No," He snapped at me, but I knew he was lying. He took a seat on the grass, very stubbornly refusing to meet my eyes. I could now interpret how he was feeling more accurately, which was another change that had occurred in the past few days, one that I was happy to notice. But recent events had made him more vulnerable, and I realized that he actually did seem afraid of me leaving.
Of course. That was why he hadn't responded to my teasing. He really did think I'd leave him. And if I did, then he really would be alone.
I quickly sat beside him and put a hand under his chin, making him look at me. "Hey. I wouldn't leave, not without saying goodbye. You know that, right?"
He stared at me for a few moments before nodded, and I smiled, kissing his cheek. "Well, now that that's settled, where's my food?" He rolled his eyes at me, muttering something about me having a one track mind, before shoving a bento box in my direction. I grinned at him, bidding him a thank you before digging into the box, which he had filled with my favorite foods.
"Sasuke..." I began hesitantly, after we'd finished eating. We were now leaning against a tree trunk that overlooked the lake, and he had an arm wrapped around me. "Are you really going to hang around Madara now?" It was something I'd been meaning to ask him for a while, and out here, I could speak my mind freely, without worrying about anyone else overhearing us.
"I know that's what he wants," Sasuke replied. "But that's not what you want."
"No, it isn't," I confirmed. "And that's because I know him better than you do. No matter what he tells you, he's not on your side. He's not interested in helping you. All he cares about is himself and his own agenda. You haven't noticed it yet, but he's using you."
"Taka is using the Akatsuki, Minxie, not the other way around," He said. "I'm playing along with what he wants for now, but he isn't controlling me."
"Oh, yeah? And what if what he wants is for you to abduct a Jinchurki?" I challenged, my eyes narrowing at him. "Would you really kill someone else just because Madara tells you to?"
"He wouldn't ask me to kill a Jinchuriki."
"No, he'd ask you to kidnap one and then do the killing himself. As if that's any better." I shook my head, feeling my temper flaring at Sasuke's indifference. "What if he tells you to go after me, huh? Would you agree to that, too? Because you obviously have no problem with doing everything else he says!"
"You know that's not true," Sasuke argued, a glare making its way onto his face. He was doing a better job at keeping his temper in check than I was, but I could tell that he was getting frustrated. "Madara won't make me go after you. If he even thinks about going after you, then I'll kill him."
"Don't say things like that," I scolded. "Madara just be a shell of his former self, but he's still strong. You won't be able to kill him easily, and there's no way I'm letting you get hurt for me. And why does the default plan always have to be murder? Why can't we talk things out first?"
"You really think Madara's the kind of man who listens to reason?" He inquired, making me sigh and look down because he had a point. "Exactly. Besides, you don't even like him. You have no reason to care about his life."
"Just because I don't like someone doesn't mean that they deserve to die." I ran a hand through my hair, shaking my head. "You just don't get it."
"No, Minxie, you don't get it. I don't care how powerful Madara is. I don't care what he's capable of. If he's a threat to you, then I'll end him. I'll protect you from everything, even from him. Nothing means more to me than you do."
Nothing except your revenge, a bitter part of me added, a part that I would've very much liked to ignore if it wasn't right. Then again, this was probably one of the most honest things he'd ever said to me, so I was willing to overlook that fact. Only I couldn't, not anymore.
"I just don't understand you sometimes," I muttered. "You say nothing means more to you than I do, but you won't give up your revenge for me. So you'll kill for me, but you won't stop killing for me? It's like you want me and your revenge, but you can't have both."
"You've said it before, Minxie, I'm selfish." He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. "I'll figure it out."
But I didn't want him to figure it out, because no matter how much I loved him, I'd never be okay with him taking revenge on my village. I wanted to be with him, but I didn't want vengeance. And that meant that one of us had to give in. That was something he still didn't understand, something that now, I finally accepted. It was the truth I'd been trying to ignore, the truth that I couldn't ignore any longer.
You've said it before, Sasuke, I'm selfless. And it's going to ruin us both, but I've already figured it out.
~*~
When we returned to the hideout, I became aware of just how much I didn't like being there. Again, I was filled with the sense that I didn't belong here. Now, I finally understood that it was true. Sasuke was almost immediately dragged off by Madara to the meeting room, with Karin and Jugo trailing behind them. Normally, I would've followed, but I needed time to think. I spotted a familiar fish-boy and smiled, despite my situation.
"Hey, hottie!" Suigetsu grinned.
"You know Sasuke's down the hall, right?" I inquired.
Immediately, he paled, looking around from side to side for the Uchiha. I laughed at his expression, "I was joking, Suigetsu. He's already in the meeting room with the others."
Suigetsu scowled at me. "That was mean, hot stuff. If I didn't like you so much, I'd ignore you."
I shot him a grin. "You know I was only teasing. Now, do you know why Madara whisked Sasuke away the minute we got back?"
"It's supposed to be this huge meeting thing," He answered. "They're going over strategies for Sasuke's new plan. I thought he would've told you by now."
I felt my stomach churn. Sasuke hadn't changed his mind. He still wanted to destroy Konoha.
"You okay?" Suigetsu asked, noticing my expression and putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah. Fine," I lied easily, forcing a smile. "Once your meeting thing is over, can you tell Sasuke that I need to see him?"
"Sure," He replied. "See you later, hot stuff." And with that, he disappeared down the hall.
I sighed, biting my lip. I couldn't keep pretending that everything was okay. Nothing was okay.
If Sasuke really was going to carry out his plan, I needed to warn Konoha. I needed to go home. My friends were there, and I had no idea if they knew Scarlett was pretending to be me or not. I couldn't keep holding it off.
I had one last try. One last chance to get Sasuke to come back, to change his mind.
If not... I had to go.
~*~
Sasuke entered the room, and I stood up quickly. He raised an eyebrow at the sudden action, staring at me.
"You wanted to see me?" He inquired in that deep voice of his.
"Yeah," I said. "I need to talk to you."
"All right," He said easily. "What is it?"
"I'm going to ask you a question, and I need you to answer it honestly," I said. He nodded, although he seemed confused. "Do you really love me?"
"Of course I do," He replied.
"Do you? Do you really, really love me?" I asked.
"I love you," He said, stronger this time.
I stepped forward, and he placed his hands on either side of my face.
"Then... Then give it up. If you love me, Sasuke, if you really love me... Forget about revenge. Forget about all of the bad things. It could be us again. I'll forget everything you've done in the past three years... I'll forget all of it. I'm giving you one last chance, Sasuke. And we can start over. All you have to do is give up revenge," I pleaded, staring into his eyes.
Sasuke stared at me for what seemed like forever. "I love you, Minxie. You know that. But..."
I nodded sadly, already knowing what he was going to say. "But... You don't love me more than you want your revenge," I finished for him, swallowing quietly.
"That's not it," He objected, placing his hands on either side of my face. "I love you, but... I... I can't just abandon my clan." He stroked the sides of my face with his fingertips.
I nodded, a bitter sense of nostalgia settling in my stomach. I took his hands in mine and removed them from my face slowly.
"Well... I guess that's it, then," I muttered, looking down.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"It's over, Sasuke. Done with. All bets are off. I... I'm going home," I whispered.
"What... Why?" He said.
"Because I'm tired of pretending," I said. "I can't stay here anymore, fueling a lost cause. You aren't going to change. No matter how much you love me... You aren't going to give up your revenge. But my friends... My friends need me. Konoha... That's my home, Sasuke. Not here. Not with Madara Uchiha, of all people, sleeping down the hallway.
"Whatever you decide to do next... It's your choice. It won't matter to me anymore. Finally... I'm finally letting you go. You won't rule my life anymore.
"However, I will tell you this... If you do anything, anything at all, to harm my friends or my village... If you go through with this plan of destroying Konoha... I'll kill you myself, even though it'll kill me inside to do it. But for now... This is it. I'm done chasing after you, Sasuke."
My words seemed to be slowly sinking into his brain. "... And what of your promise to Itachi?" He inquired quietly.
"I tried to keep my promise. I really, really did. But..." I sighed. "It's just not the same anymore. Things have changed. I tried so hard to bring you back, to make you give up your revenge... But you still... I'm still second place to revenge. But that's okay. I've learned to accept it.
"I can't help you, Sasuke. I've spent so much of my life just thinking about only you, loving you... But that just doesn't cut it anymore. I'm hurting so many people..." Naruto and Gaara's faces flashed through my mind. "... I'm breaking their hearts, all for you. And I just can't do that anymore. I won't let myself do that anymore."
"I thawed that wall of ice around your heart, but only you can break it down. You need to do it. I helped you see the light again... But you need to be the one to get yourself out of the darkness.
"Because if you don't... You're going to lose me forever, Sasuke," I finished sadly, "I'm tired of trying to save someone... Who just doesn't want to be saved. I'll always love you... But even always doesn't last forever. I'm sorry."
I took a step forward, rising up on my toes and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. He closed his eyes once I did that, and I removed my lips from his cheek and stepped back.
His eyes slowly opened, and I cast one last glance at him.
"I love you, Minxie," He said suddenly, hoping that that would be able to change my mind.
... But it didn't.
I smiled sadly. "And I love you, Sasuke," I said honestly. "But sometimes... Sometimes, that's just not enough." I looked at the floor. "I've got to go..."
Before either of us could say anything else, I turned around and left the room, closing the door behind me. I shut my eyes, letting out a deep breath.
God, this isn't fair.
I couldn't look at Sasuke. I'd end up giving in again, and then all I had said back there would be pointless.
I followed the pathway that led up to the mountain peak in which the hideout was built. I stared out at the blue sky, the birds' caws overhead drowning out the aching of my heart.
"Out here by yourself?" A voice inquired, and I instantly knew it was Madara.
"I want to go home," I said quietly, my voice betraying nothing.
"So soon?" He asked. "I'm sure Sasuke will miss you."
A silent tear fell down my cheek, and I crossed my arms over my chest.
"That doesn't matter," I choked out. "I need to get home. There's nothing here for me anymore." I shut my eyes. "Do I have to fight you, or will you let me leave peacefully?"
"I'm still working on trying to prolong your life after I extract your beast... So you may take your leave," He said. "Who knows? I might even let you live after I'm done using your power. When you understand my plan... You'll realize that what I wish to achieve is not too far from peace."
I shook my head. "Whatever. I just want to go home."
"And you're sure about that?" He inquired.
"I... I'm sure," I whispered, and suddenly, that was it. It'd be hard, not being with Sasuke... But it'd be better for me. But I'd be okay. I'd survive this, the same way I'd survived so many other horrible things.
"... All right," Madara said. I quickly wiped my face, drying all of my tears.
This was it. I wouldn't cry anymore. I wouldn't shed one tear.
I turned around, walking over to Madara and placing my hand in his outstretched one.
The space around us distorted, and before I could blink, we were outside of the woods of Konoha.
"I would've gotten closer, but seeing as I'm a wanted criminal, I can't have Konoha knowing I'm here," Madara said. "That'd cause unnecessary hassle."
I nodded. "Thank you."
He nodded. "Be seeing you, my dear Jinchuriki." And with that, he was gone.
Thoughts raced around in my head, and finally, I had made my decision. I began my journey to Konoha's gates, thinking of how I would be able to say it.
~*~
When I arrived at the village, the first person I saw was Scarlett. Her eyes were green, and they widened when she saw me. Quickly and with the grace of a ballerina, Scarlett grabbed my wrist and dragged me into a nearby alley.
"It's about time you showed up," She said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to take so long. Did anyone find out?"
"Nope. Thanks to my amazing acting skills, everyone thinks you never left."
"Thank you... Did anything happen?"
"Nothing particularly interesting. We found out Itachi was dead, then we came here."
I swallowed the lump in my throat that had formed at the mention of Itachi. But I didn't cry. I found no tears.
Scarlett noticed my expression. "What's up with you? You seem depressed."
"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. "You're sure no one figured it out?"
"Positive," She assured. "I just had to avoid your brother."
"You avoided him for this long?" I asked, eyes wide.
"It was easy. We spent a few days in different towns before coming back here. We only arrived a few hours ago," She said easily. I nodded. "Hey... You look really pale. Are you sure there's nothing up with you?"
"Positive," I said. "You can go back to being you. I'm not going anywhere."
She nodded, and her eyes faded back to crimson. "So, you're gonna go home?"
"No," I said, shaking my head. I couldn't face Ryuu. Not yet. I didn't want to see how messed up he'd be after learning of Itachi's death. "I'm going to visit Naruto. I have to tell him something."
"Are you gonna admit your undying love for him and have hot, sweet sex with him?" She asked.
My eye twitched. "Not even close, Scarlett."
"Bummer," She said, sighing. "Anyway, I'm gonna go stalk your brother."
"Have fun," I said.
She smirked. "You, too!" And then she was gone.
I sighed, shaking my head at Scarlett's words. What I was going to tell Naruto was far from what she thought. What I was going to tell him would probably make him hate me.
But I needed to do it. I knew he was already feeling down about not being able to bring Sasuke back... But I couldn't keep lying to him.
Plus, I really needed him at that moment. He was the only one who could make me feel happy when I was as depressed as I was now. He healed me, made me smile, made me whole... He was like my other half. And I needed him.
And so, without further distraction, I made my way to Naruto's house.