Chapter 29
"My mother once told me that when you lost your mate, it would be like tearing away half of yourself and that you'd never be able to fix that part of you again; that you would never again be whole. And she was right, because after she died, my father was never the same again. It was especially bad for him because of his Alpha blood which made his wolf extra dominant within his being." Logan explained; meeting my eyes as he unconsciously grabbed my hands.
I squeezed them reassuringly as if to urge him to continue. He did as his eyes drifted back to the table in front of us. "My mother was bringing me around our territory on her back while she was in wolf form. At the time, I wasn't able to shift yet, so I had been in my human form. We weren't even that close to the town when we were surrounded by a group of humans.
My mother had thought they were just people who had accidentally stumbled too far into the woods; until they pulled out their guns. She didn't even think before she put me down and shifted back; trying to show them that she wasn't a threat. She'd told them that she wouldn't hurt them and that there was no reason to be afraid." My mate's fist clenched as the scene played out in his head.
"They had just laughed at her, saying that one of 'her kind' would never be able to hurt them. It turns out that they'd all been part of an association called The Seekers; a group of humans who are trained to hunt and kill shifters." That really exists?! I wondered to myself. My mate nodded, the question coming to him through our bond.
"They're still around, even now. They hadn't even cared that she was in human form. I couldn't do anything as they all shot at her at once." Logan's eyes were completely black as his hold on my hands tightened. "The bullets they were using were made of silver, so the wounds couldn't even begin to heal before they fired off their next shots. I was fucking powerless to do anything as I watched bullet after bullet tear through my mother's flesh." He bit out.
He seemed to have noticed the confusion on my face at the mention of silver. "Wounds inflicted by silver take longer to heal. No one really knows why, but they really do. My father used to use silver to inflict injuries on prisoners he was torturing.
We currently use it in the form of chains we put around prisoner’s necks to block communication. That’s also something silver does to us; it blocks the mind links we have to other shifters and even to our own wolves. All those stories that humans tell are true in a way; if you wanted to kill one of us, a weapon made of silver would be their best bet." He explained.
I could see his canines lengthening as he continued; getting more and more agitated. "She was screaming in pain but she still managed to tell me to run. I couldn't though; all I could so was stare as her body began to collapse in on itself.
When they were done, you couldn't even call my mother's corpse a body. All I saw was a pile of red on the blood soaked ground. They call us abominations but what they did was the most inhuman thing I'd ever seen; that is, until my father arrived.
He'd heard my mother’s cries for help through their bond; but that was only because none of silver bullets had gotten lodged inside her body, so she could still call to him. He’d gotten there right before The Seekers were about to do the same thing to me as they did to my mother; the knowledge that I couldn't even shift not even bothering them.
He'd ripped them apart; drenching the ground in their disgusting blood. He clawed them each in half and dragged them around while they bled; some of them he slowly clawed to death." My mate barked out a dark, humourless chuckle as his eyes became wild.
"The Seekers deserved what they got, the only thing I wish I could've done differently was to be able to partake in making them suffer; to hear their screams of agony and know that I was the cause of them. My father had torn at their flesh for hours after they were dead, until all that was left of those worthless bastards were piles of chipped bone and flesh. He didn't even check on me before he shifted and knelt by my mother. That was the only time I'd ever seen him cry.
He didn't leave my mother's side for days, and when he finally came home, it was like he was dead; just like she was. I had lost my mother, but it felt more like I'd lost both of them at once." My heart ached as all the pain my mate felt flowed through our bond. "I tried to help him because back then, I didn't know how damaged my father really was.
About a week after I lost my mother, he just snapped. He began to beat me, so badly that the pack doctor saw me at least twice a day because he'd snapped one of my arms or legs. He took out all the anger he felt at the loss of my mother out on me; beating, kicking, just about anything to let off some steam."
The memory of him cowering and being tortured on a bloody bed replayed itself in my mind; making my wolf growl as I saw red, wanting to just attack anything to relieve some of the anger I felt at the fact that someone had hurt my mate that badly. I nodded as my eyes drifted down to the floor; pulling my knees up to my chest. “I saw.” I muttered; unconsciously. My mate’s eyes snapped up to my face.
“What do you mean you saw?” He demanded; shock flaring in the depths of his light grey eyes.
“After we marked each other, a memory of yours slipped into my mind while I’d been sleeping.” I shook my head as I held back the tears that began to form at the thought of that damned nightmare. “I wanted, with all my heart, for it to be nothing but just a horrible figment of my imagination.” I said earnestly; my jade eyes meeting his. He squeezed my hands once.
“I’m sorry you had to see that.” He apologised.
I shook my head again. “Don’t be, I just wish you hadn’t had to go through that in the first place. No kid deserves to be treated the way that you were.” I replied. “Do you want to continue?”
He nodded as a bitter expression crossed his features. "He began locking me in a few weeks later, not letting anyone else come see me. I was just lucky that Ethan kept in touch with me through the pack bond or I would've been all alone.
My father yelled at me every time he hurt me; telling me it was my fault for being a fucking weak little shifter for not being able to even help my mother when she needed me the most. He would tell me that every day; drilling my weakness as the fault behind my mother's death, into my head."
I shook my head vigorously as I pulled my mate closer. "It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault!" I growled. He clung to me as he buried his face in the crook of my neck; trying to calm himself as he breathed in my scent.
"He couldn't stop me from training as I got older. When I was finally strong enough, I challenged him and became Alpha. He was the reason I've always been worried about finding my mate." He pulled away from me; keeping his arms wrapped securely around my waist as his grey eyes met mine.
My heart clenched as I noticed the unadulterated honesty in his eyes as he spoke next. "I was always worried the same thing would happen to me; that I would become as broken as he was if I ever lost you. Right now, I can't even bear the thought of letting you go for a second, let alone forever.
My mother was wrong, it wouldn't be like ripping out a part of me, it would be more like ripping out all of my soul if I ever lost you, Chelsea. And that's what I've been dreading every day since we met; that I will eventually lose you and become a dead, shell of myself, because when you go, you will take all of my being with you."
I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes as he finished his story, multiple emotions whizzing through me as I studied my mate's perfectly sculpted face. I still felt pure fury as my thoughts drifted to what Logan's father had done to him.
My heart clenched with unimaginable pain as my mate's agony vibrated into me through the bond, yet I felt some happiness at the fact that my mate had finally trusted me enough to share his past with me.
I climbed onto his lap and straddled him as I pulled his head down to my chest; grasping him tightly as he squeezed me around my waist. "Thank you for telling me. I'm so, so sorry you had to go through so much, but please remember that I will not leave you." My mate's grasp tightened.
"Despite the monster that I already am, you can still say that." I opened my mouth to protest but he stopped me. "Don't even try to deny it. You've seen what I'm capable of and you still manage to think that I'm a decent person.
Most of my soul is filled with darkness Chels, from all the things I've done, and I feel like the only thing that's keeping the blackness from consuming the rest of it is you. Before you, all I ever wanted was to make anybody who had ever wronged me suffer, but with you around; I couldn't care less about anybody else in the world." He finished.
I pulled away slightly and tilted his head up so I could look him in the eye; cupping both sides of his face as I spoke. "I'm your mate; I'll always be next to you, where I belong. You are the man that will always be mine and who I will always belong to." I confessed; pressing a kiss to the top of his head as I pulled us even closer, returning his head to its original position. We sat that way in comfortable silence for the rest of the afternoon, Logan calming himself with my presence while I absorbed what my mate had told me.
***
I woke up the next morning in bed; my mate's head still nestled under my chin on my chest. I hugged his neck as I rested my cheek on his soft, raven-black hair; relaxing as I felt my mate's quiet, light breath fanning my skin. "I love you, Logan." I mumbled quietly; wishing so much that I had the courage to actually tell him how I felt as I closed my eyes and sunk back into a deep sleep.
***
The next time I opened my eyes; my mate was sitting up in the bed beside my body, just staring down at me as he played with a few strands of my hair. I tilted my head to the side as I stared back at him. "Morning." I mumbled.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead for a short moment. "Good morning." He replied; grabbing my hands as he gently pulled me up with him.
I compliantly followed him as he tugged me to my feet. Once I was upright; I made my way to the bathroom as Logan quietly trailed behind me. I began to brush my teeth as he came in. When I was done, he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me; his body coming to rest flush against mine as he pushed me against the sink counter.
I rested a hand over his which were folded over one another on my stomach. My eyes met his in the mirror as we both stared at the reflection in front of us. I couldn't help but study the girl in front of me.
She looked like any other normal girl; her brunette hair was wavy and long down her back. Her limbs were slightly muscular underneath the oversized shirt she wore that hid her hourglass shaped body. Her bright, jade green eyes which looked back at me were slightly red with fatigue.
The boy behind her looked like a normal, stunning human guy. His dark hair was deliciously messy on his head over his almost impossibly light grey eyes. His muscular arms were wrapped around the brunette girl's waist; his toned abdomen pressed up to her back.
The reflection might've been an exact replica of their physical appearance but it couldn't reflect all the pain the two people within it had been through. That was all the reflection was; an image of what these people projected without all that they really were.
"Thank you, Chelsea." He whispered; effectively pulling all of my attention to him.
I flashed him a grin. "I didn't do anything, silly." I joked; running my thumb over the back of his hands.
His eyes met mine in the mirror with so much intensity that my breath caught in my throat. "You've done everything that'll ever matter to me, Chelsea. You just don't realise it." He said earnestly.
I leaned my head back onto his chest for a second as my wolf reminded me of something before I turned to face him. I stood on my tiptoes as I pressed my lips to his; my arms coming up around his neck.
He pressed himself even closer to me as he kissed me back; my lips parting as he lifted me up onto the counter. When he pulled away to let us both breathe, he leaned his forehead against mine. My green eyes met his. "Not everything." I muttered; knowing that he knew exactly what I'd meant as his eyes darkened in response to my words.
He grinned wickedly at me as he pecked my lips once more. "Maybe not everything, but that can wait until you're absolutely sure you're ready." He replied; pulling me off of the counter as he led me to the bedroom door. "For now, let's go get some breakfast."
Before we stepped out I remembered something from a while back. I pulled away from my mate's hold on my hand. He raised one of his eyebrows’ in an inquisitive glance. "I need to make a call." I explained. "I'll meet you downstairs."
He flashed me a lopsided grin before nodding. "Alright, you have five minutes, but take any longer and I'm coming to find you." He threatened jokingly.
I pushed him out softly. "Deal." I agreed; capturing his lips in another brief kiss before he went downstairs. After making sure he was already in the kitchen, I rushed over to my phone; scrolling through my contacts until I found the number I needed. Once I did, I pressed the call button.
The person on the other end of the line answered after the third ring. "Hello? This'll be kind of a weird request but I need your help." I choked out; praying that I wasn't about to make a fool out of myself.
My heart leaped as the person on the other end of the line agreed to help me. I can’t believe I’m going to do this, I muttered to myself. “Okay, remember how a while ago-” And that was when I launched into a brief explanation on the basis of what I needed.
And so now, you all know why Logan acted the way he had :) Till next time my lovelies, hope you enjoyed the chappie! -Roxy <3