Josh's POV
I wake from an uncomfortable heavy weight weighing down on my legs. Before my eyes could even adjust to the darkness and for my mind to register what was going on, that's when I feel fingers wrap tightly around my throat.
I gasp loudly and out of human instinct my hands fling up at the hand gripped around my neck and tried to pull it away but I failed. I struggled to fight the body above me and I tried again with more force pulling at the hand around my neck but yet again I was unsuccessful.
"O-Oli." I managed to choke out. Desperate for air, tears soon pricked the corners of my eyes and began rolling down my cheeks in pure fear of my life.
"Shut up!" he shouts back at me, the sudden harshness taking me by the surprise.
"I won't let you get away this time! This time you're a dead man!" he yells causing me to panic at his threat. He was trying to kill me? What the hell was going on?
I begin to kick and shove violently beneath him, an attempted to get him off me and break free of his hold but he would only tighten his grip, he wouldn't budge. He was dead set on killing me.
"I have waited years for this moment and now I've finally have you right where I want you." He says sickeningly and I'm riddling in fear.
He shifted on top of me a little and it was just enough for him to loosen his grip and I managed to let out a loud strangled scream escape my lips in hopes someone would hear me.
I was immediately cut off when he pressed down harder on my windpipe blocking the air which flows down to my lungs and out, making it almost impossible for me to breathe. He was suffocating me. He was killing me slow and painfully.
The bedroom light flicks on and Tom appears at the bed side, eyes anxiously looking back and forth from Oli to me.
I could see Oli's face clearly now. Cheeks stained in tear tracks, heavy eye lids clouded over half his eyes, he didn't once break contact with mine, his expression furious but yet heartbreaking at the same time.
I glanced over at Tom fearfully, wondering why he was taking so long to pull his brother off me. Couldn't he see his brother's hand wrapped around my throat? Didn't he care he was witnessing his brother slowly murdering me? Tom hated me ever since he first met me. He wanted rid of me... he stood there looking sternly at the situation but refuse to help me. Was he going to stand and watch Oli take my last breath away?
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to concentrate on every one of my screams hoping they would be heard but they were all muffled and silences by Oli blocking my windpipe and applying more pressure to his hold and I knew within moments I will be dead.
"Don't touch him!" another voice enters the room and I open my blurry eyes to see that it's Jordan.
He crouches down by the bed and stares at Oli before looking at the whole situation in front of him.
"Whatever you do don't wake him up, he's asleep."
"I know what's going on!" Tom hisses at Jordan.
Did I just hear Jordan say not to wake Oli up? He's not a bloody sleep, he's awake and killing me, fucking do something for crying out loud!!
My whole body was trembling and I had gone all light headed with not being able to breathe. My watery eyes had started to blink abnormally and I knew I was nearing the end.
"Josh is struggling to stay awake, he's killing him!" Jordan whispers harshly at Tom.
"I know."
"You need to try and talk Oli out of letting him go without waking him up."
"I don't want to." Tom says bluntly.
"Tom, this is no time to be childish and act out on jealously. This is someone's life on the line."
Tom glares down at me, hatred masking over his face. He didn't want to help me, why was Jordan even bothering.
"Do you think Oliver will forgive you for not stopping him knowing that you could have? You saw the way he looked at Josh earlier, there's hope for him Tom. Do you really want to take that last bit away from your own brother?" I hear Jordan mumble, I was beginning to black out a little.
It went silent for a moment but the then I heard Tom speak.
"Oliver, it's me Tom. Let go of him bro, you don't want to do this."
"I do!" he yells back.
"Oliver its Josh, he's not who you think he is. Let go."
"Stop lying Tom! Can't you see who it is?! It's him! I can't let him go, I won't let him go! I want him dead!" Oli screams and by now the others have made their way into the room at the sounds of shouting and screaming.
Jordan tried to force his hand between Oli's hand and my throat, trying to allow air to travel back through my windpipe.
"Its not working." Jordan growls and looks towards the others.
"I assume you've all witness this before and you know now we need to act fast on plan B. Get ready to take him but whatever you do, don't wake him up." Jordan orders and Nicholls and Lee take either side of Oli and Jordan takes a hold of Oli's wrist.
"On three. One, two-"
And before Jordan said three Oli is ripped from me and pulled from the bed while Jordan attends to my choking gasping state as I struggled to find room to breathe.
Jordan picks me up in his arms and carries me towards the door.
"Give him back! He's mine to kill not yours, you bastard!" Oli growls at him.
Still coughing and choking for air, I peek over Jordan's shoulder and see Nicholls, Lee and Vegan holding Oli against the wall as hard as they could while Tom stood in front of him trying to calm him down.
"Get him under control and do not wake him!" Jordan says before taking me out of the room and down the stairs.
My whole body was shaking in shock and I had begun crying hysterically. What the fuck just happened?!
Jordan places me down on an unmade bed and fetches a first aid kit before coming back to me. I was a total mess, so many things were running through my mind right now I didn't know what to think. My body was twitching and I was having a major panic attack which only worsens my breathing.
I couldn't focus my mind on anything but the repulsive expression Oli's face as he glared down at me. I couldn't think of anything else...not until I feel Jordan prick a needle into my right arm and my eyes widen and I completely lose my shit.
"Get that the fuck away from me!" I scramble further onto the bed away from him but he grabs hold of me and pushes the needle further into my skin and I let out a croaky scream.
"Josh relax, it's only to calm your nerves, that's all." Jordan says in a soothing tone and I go limp. Giving up and sobbing into the bed sheets as I allowed Jordan to do whatever he wanted to my body. There was no point fighting anymore, I'll just end up losing anyway. I felt so drained.
I hiss rather loudly and whimper when Jordan presses his finger tips lightly against my neck.
"Sorry, but he left some severe bruising to your neck."
"W-What's... g-going on?" I choke, my hand reaching up to my neck as it hurt to speak. My voice had turned all croaky; I guess I strained my voice when I tried screaming so much.
"From seeing your reaction I'm assuming you've never seen Oli sleep before."
I shake my head and give Jordan a concern look.
Now that he's mention it, I've never seen him sleep before. Oli was always awake before me and I always fell asleep before him, so I never knew if he went to sleep or not. Now that Jordan's pointed it out its strange that I haven't and I wanted to know why I haven't. There was obviously a reason behind it.
Jordan sighs.
"Well, speaking from the one who shared a prison cell with him for the last eighteen months I'd say I'm rather confident to know what's gone on."
My eyes meet with Jordan, silently asking him to explain further.
"He suffers from all sorts of night terrors, sleep paralysis, nightmares, sleep talking as well as sleep walking. You name it Oli's got it." Jordan informs me.
My eyebrows furrows together. So he's telling me Oli was asleep the entire time he was choking me to death?
A sudden loud yell came from upstairs followed by two gun shots. Holy shit!
"Fuck, I told them not to wake him up!"
I leap off the bed and grab hold of Jordan's arm making him look at me.
"You gotta get me out of here!"
"Please!" I beg, no longer wanting to spend another second in this house.
"Oli will be pissed if I let you go."
"In the last twenty four hours, I've been shot at, punched in the face and almost strangled to death. Get me the hell out of here, please." I whimper and I start crying again.
Jordan sighs and nods, running over to a set of drawers and turning to me again, I flinch back still on edge after everything.
"I'm not going to hurt you Josh, unlike the others I'm not into violence and guns I'm more into drugs and fixing people." He says handing me over some clothes to change into as I'm still only in my boxers.
"We have to be quick Josh, they're won't be too happy when they realise I've let you go." He runs over to a door at the back of the room and motions me to follow him. When he opens the door I see it leads to the back garden. He was taking us out the back so we wouldn't be seen. Jordan was smart and I didn't wait to hang about to be caught either.
~~~
Jordan had taken one of the cars and was currently driving me home. My head rested against the window as we drove in silence. I felt sort of weird, I wasn't sure what Jordan injected into me but I felt numb and exhausted and I just quietly sat crying to myself.
I don't realised the car has stopped until Jordan whispers my name and I look up and see that we're parked outside my block of flats. I wipe the tears away from my eyes and reach for the car handle.
"Just keep in mind, he had no control over what he was doing." Jordan says in a soft voice and I turn to face him.
"He almost killed me."
"He didn't mean to."
"And that makes it all okay? I'm just supposed to forgive him and forget it happened?" I say in a husky whisper.
"Yeah."
I stare at Jordan in disbelief. Did he really expect me to forget about it? I almost died by someone I stupidly put my trust into.
"You're good for him Josh." He tells me but I still stare at him in utter shock. Was I really hearing this?
"He's different around you. I notice it when he reacted violently towards Nicholls when he found out he hit you. Oli's not one to give a shit about anyone but those closes to him and he lashed out on his best mate to keep you safe. He's truly convinced he's cursed and has no soul and believes no good can come from him. But when he's with you, he's gentle and protective. He's good. He really does care about you more than you think he does."
"So you're basically trying to guilt trip me into sticking around because I'm somewhat good for him." I snap at him, not quite believing his nerve to say this to me. I was seconds away from dying!
"I know you feel something for him, I've seen the way you look at him, Josh. Don't deny it."
I sit there speechless not knowing what to say but to glare at him. I wasn't going to admit what I feel towards Oli because the butterflies were definitely dead right now.
I get out of the car not wanting to listen to anymore of what Jordan had to say. But he leans over the passers seat and holds open the car door.
"Please don't give up on him just yet, I know you're confused about everything right now but when everything calms down you'll see what I'm telling you makes sense."
"I can't deal with this right now, just leave me alone!" I groan in frustration and walk towards my flat.
"You know he'll come to you when he realises your gone, so heads up for that." Jordan warns me and I just nod and walk inside my block.
~~~
Max completely flipped out when he saw the state of me in the morning. My entire cheek was dark purple followed by the same colour finger print bruises marked all over my neck. I had almost lost my voice as well but I managed to feed him some bullshit lie about how I was attacked and mugged by a couple of thugs leaving work yesterday. To make my lie sound more realistic I said they took my phone and wallet because in reality they did take my phone and I did leave my wallet and my clothes in Oli's room that night, so the lie was half true.
He was adamant that I go to the police and report the attack but I refused to of course. I said there was no point because they attacked me from behind and when one of the guys grabbed my throat he was wearing a hood and a bandana to hide his identity. I didn't see their faces at all so who would I be reporting?
I took Jordan's words into consideration, I knew when Oli had calmed down and discovered what he had done he would soon come looking for me. I wasn't in the right state of mind to see him and I still didn't know how to feel about the whole situation yet, so I decided not to stay at the flat.
~~~
I called work and said I was sick and for the last three days I have been staying at Alex's place. I knew Oli wouldn't be able to find me here, I've haven't mention Alex to him before so I knew I was safe hiding here for now.
Alex acted even more hysterical than Max did when he saw my beaten bruise body. I told him the same lie I told Max and he made me sit down and explain every little detail about the "mugging" to Jack and he got all worked up about it than I expected him to. Jack was determined to find the people who did this to me, even though I told him not to bother because I knew it was all lies but if it was true, what was Jack going to do anyway? He was just a harmless joker.
The first day I stayed Alex went to work but I was still extremely paranoid and jumpy and Alex must have picked up on it because he decided to stay home with me the next couple of days even though I said it wasn't necessary. He even made me sleep in his bed with him because at nights I would either scream the room awake from reliving being choked to death in nightmares or I would cling to him for security and other nights I would fling myself up from the bed but to only find that Alex had just shifted in bed or his snoring would wake me. I was really losing it. I didn't think it affected me this bad.
"Seriously Josh, you can stay longer don't feel like you have to leave."
"I really should go back home and sort myself out." I mumbled my throat still husky and sore.
It was the fourth day staying at Alex's and I thought it was about time I'd go back home, I really didn't want to over stay my welcome even though Alex assured me I wasn't.
Alex has been amazing to me the last four days, he's really taken care of me and I really do owe him for this. He drove me back home kissed me of the cheek goodbye and drove off after he had watch me enter my block.
I sighed heavily feeling exhausted when I stood outside my door and took out my keys from my pocket. I was so ready to pass out on my bed and wish I would get a decent night sleep tonight.
"Josh."
Someone calls my name and I literally jump out of my skin with fright and back myself up against the front door. My heart was racing at a hundred miles as my eyes settled on the one person I feared the most to see.
How the fuck did he get inside the block? Has he been waiting for me to come home the whole time? I instantly feel tears stream down my cheeks and my breathing starts to become uneven. I was frozen still in my spot not knowing what to do.
He gets up from the steps and comes towards me but I let out a small shriek when he does and close my eyes in fear.
"I swear to you Josh, I'm not here to hurt you. Just please, please hear me out." He begs, his tone shocking me and I slowly open my eyes to see him standing at the bottom of the steps away from me.
My eyes flicker to him and quickly back to the floor again.
"You were gone." He starts. Now he knows what it's like for me every time he disappears.
"Don't blame Jordan... I begged him to let me go." I whisper looking down at my feet too afraid to look him in the eye. I didn't want Jordan to get into trouble for letting me go.
I hear him step towards me and I whimper and push myself further into my door hoping it would absorb me into its self. Oli pulls away my scarf from around my neck and takes in my bruises. They were still really dominated against my pale skin.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." He sobs stepping away from me and covering his mouth with his hand. The misery in his voice made me open my eyes and he just looked so broken. His eyes held sorrow and immense sadness. Something I thought I'd never see in his beautiful eyes.
"I-I didn't mean to, I had no idea.. I mean, fuck." He stutters, biting his lip and running his hands through his hair in distress. I was a loss for words, seeing him torn apart like this surprised me, he was usually so confident.
"I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm here to tell you this will be the last time you'll ever see me. It was wrong of me to get you involved in my life and now you can go on without living in fear and any interference from me again."
I feel my heart sink down into my chest at his words, more tears falling from my eyes as I realise what he was saying. He can't just disappear forever now, he can't, it's too late.
I finally plucked up the courage and looked him straight in the eyes and take in a shaky breath before speaking.
"I don't wa-"
And right at that moment I'm interrupted by Max opening the front door hearing voices come from outside.
"Josh, you alright?" he asks, as he looks at me in concern and then looks towards Oli.
"It was him who did this to you, wasn't it?" I knew that Max secretly knew it was Oli from the start but I didn't have the heart to admit it to him.
Oli doesn't hang around for me to answer Max, instead he runs down the stairs of the block leaving me behind to allow the anxiety to fill me. Did he just fucking run away? My mind started losing it, mixed feelings shaking all up inside of me.
At first when the incident happened, I was angry and hurt and confused and I knew I never wanted to see him again but now, seeing him show up here seeing how truly sorry he was... I've realised how bloody mad I am for him and I couldn't let him go again.
I run after him calling out his name as I run down the stairs, ignoring Max call out mine.
~~~
Oli's POV
I run out of the block of flats and run down the street as fast as I can, hoping Josh wouldn't be able to see what direction I had gone and come after me.
I was so fucking stupid to get him involved in my life, he was just a naive kid what was I thinking? I shouldn't have gone looking for him, I should have just left it. I was a fool to believe that Josh might understand and accept me for the fuck failure that I am. But I was wrong.
I should know by now that everything I touch turns to stone and now I put that poor kid through hell because of my shitty problems.
But he had to know I was sorry. I know it doesn't make up for anything because I told him I would never hurt him and I did just that. I almost strangled him to death in my sleep, I should have known better, I should have had my fix before I allowed myself to sleep but I was distracted and forgot.
The look of fear in his eyes now kills me. I did that to him and I could never take it back. Everything is so fucked up.
I hear my name being called out in the distances but I continue to run faster not wanting to face the voice which now haunts me.
"Oli, please stop!" the voice is much louder now but I continue to keep running. My chest was burning but I didn't care, I had to keep away from him.
"Stop!" and something insides me tells me to stop.
I suddenly halt my steps, panting from out of breath and I quickly try to pull myself together before I reluctantly turned around.
I see Josh crouching over, resting his hands on his knees as he tries to catch back his breath. He stood about ten feet away from me, obviously wanting to keep his distance. Wise. He finally stands up straight and looks me dead in the eyes.
"I-I forgive you." He pants, his hand on his chest trying to ignore the lack of air he desperately needed to catch back. My eyes grow wide in shock, he was clearly just saying it so I wouldn't feel guilty about what I did to him but that annoyed me more than anything. I don't do sympathy or anyone feeling sorry for me for that matter. I'm the mighty Syko not a fucking charity case.
"No you don't." I say rather harshly and shake my head as I hide my eyes under my hair.
I turn my back to him ready to make a break for it again.
"Stop running away from me! You said you'd stay so fucking keep your word, you asshole!" he yells before choking on a sob.
I'm completely in shock from his outburst and I whip my head back around glaring at Josh, ready to rip him to shreds for speaking to me that way but I see the tears run down his cheeks glistening in the moonlight and I see how hurt he actually is.
"Man the fuck up and face what you did. Yes, you almost strangled me to death and I said I forgive you so god damn accept my apology and fucking stay put!" he yells again, wiping the tears away from his eyes but the frown remains on his face.
He was being dead serious but I'm anything but a coward and I'll prove it to him.
I just let go of the bitterness holding me back and give into what my body was telling me to do. I march right over to him, seeing Josh's eyes grow wide in fright but I just grab hold of his face in my hands and push him against the brick wall and crush my lips down onto his.
Josh immediately starts kissing me back, his hands reaching up and tangling his fingers into my hair. He pulls me closer to him and I melt into the innocent boys touch and slip my tongue into his mouth, pouring all the passion from inside me into this kiss.
Fuck, I didn't realised how much I craved him so much.
We both break apart from the kiss, gasping for air as we rest our foreheads against each others.
"I'm sorry." I breathe against his soft lips and brush his tears away with my thumbs.
"Stop saying sorry."
"Sorry." I say again which makes us both laugh. Fuck, his laughter is the best sound ever.
Josh pulls back and looks up at me.
"Just promise me... You'll stay."
I bite my lip nervously as I stared down into those beautiful diamond blue eyes. I wasn't one for making promises because I always break them but I've been going out of my mind for the last four days without seeing this kid. I guess I can try to stick to one promise.
"I'm no good at keeping promises, Josh..." I tell him truthfully.
"But I promise you I'll never leave your side." I promise him before pressing my lips down to his once again.