The town Natalia found herself in was small, but packed to the brim with people. It was no wonder James had decided to stay here, it was too easy to blend in. From a phone she stole, she was able to plug in the coordinates to get to a closer point where he was last seen. It took her longer than expect to get there due to the crowd of people, but eventually, she found the store she was looking for. Her plan was to blend in and look for him in case he returned. This store was one of the few in the town that sold a variety of goods, and would be a popular spot for out of town people like James.
Every half hour, Natalia changed her position so that if anyone was watching her, she wouldn't seem so suspicious. As she sat on a bench opposite of the store, a man stumbled from the edge of the crowd and fell onto her. Roughly shoving him off, he murmured what she thought was a quick apology and hurried off. It only took a few seconds for her to realize that he had shoved a note into her jacket pocket.
The note was written on a napkin in black ink, the handwriting familiar.
Meet me here in 3 hours.
It had to be a message from James. She crumpled up the napkin and shoved it into her jeans pocket. Since he had found her and obviously couldn't meet yet, she decided to find a room to get a shower and some rest. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept. She was exhausted and needed to be on the top of her game. James was a different person in this time, and she wasn't sure how they were supposed to act towards each other. Since her memory wipe, she had no idea what was going on.
Thanks to a gentleman's 'donation', Natalia was able to pay for a gun and some knives from a pawn shop, and a cheap room. She was now on the third story of a rundown hotel that overlooked the busy streets below. She got a quick shower and changed into some clothes she had stolen not too long ago, her others were still covered in blood.
As she towel dried her hair, she heard a board creak outside of the bathroom door. She placed the towel quietly on the floor and listened. For a few moments, she heard nothing, but then the bed creaked. There was someone in her room. Not fearful, she threw open the door with a dagger in her hand ready to throw, but there was no one there. She walked to the middle of the room and scanned it. The door was still locked and everything looked the same, except for the corner of the bed. The sheets were slightly rumpled and she knew it wasn't from her since she hadn't touched the bed yet.
The breath on the back of her neck scared her.
"Malenkaya," the voice whispered. She whipped her head around to find herself staring into bright green eyes. She had not heard that word in years, and the sound of it brought tears to her eyes. Sudden emotions took over Natalia as she covered her mouth to keep from crying in front of this man but it was no use. Spilled tears ran down her face and she started to crumple to the floor, but he caught her, and held her close.
Trust, she had complete trust in this man. She knew that the word he had used was only shared between them, and though she couldn't remember the memory that went with it, she knew it was because of him, because of Loki. He was protecting her from something, he had taken the memory.
She cried in Loki's arms. For two minutes, she cried and the only thing that made her stop was the realization that she had been crying a lot lately, and it started to make her mad; she really needed some sleep.
"Why does that word make me feel like this?" She looked at Loki's worried face and saw the sadness behind his eyes. He hesitated, and she got up from the floor. She wiped her eyes and walked over to the bed to sit. Loki walked over to her and sat on the edge. She turned her body towards him and sat cross legged.
He reached over and tucked a stray lock of red hair behind her ear.
"Don't," she said. "Answer my question."
Unable to look at her, Loki instead looked to his hands. "That was the last thing you said to her, before you begged me to take your memory."
Confused, she asked him who.
"I can't tell you. You made me promise to make you never remember."
"That's a load of shit, why the hell would I tell you to do that. Where are the Avengers, did they put you up to this. Are they somehow trying to 'find Natasha'? Well she isn't here, and never was. She was just me undercover." As she said the words, she suddenly started to not believe them.
"The Avengers are not here. I left them as soon as I felt you leave the tower. I had to see if you were okay."
"Well clearly I am, so let's cut to the chase and just tell me. I have to meet James in a few hours."
"James? You do not need him, he has no answers for you." He was losing her. She was starting to get angry.
"He is the ONLY one who has answers for me. I need to know why I'm here, I need to know what I'm supposed to do." She was almost begging, feeling so lost.
"Natalia, he left. He was gone before you took down the Red Room."
"I did not take down the Red Room, it's impossible."
"You did it Natalia, and I helped you, but James was gone months before its collapse. Ivan shipped him off to another location and you never saw him again until he shot you last year when you were on a mission."
She thought for a little while. Confusion was becoming an old friend to her and she hated the feeling. "Malenkaya, you said it for a reason, why?"
Loki looked into her eyes again. "This is not you. You have not been this person for decades and I think if you go digging for the answers, you will destroy yourself. I will tell you, but tomorrow. I want you to think about this decision. You asked me to take the memories, and you never wanted me to return them. If I do, I know you will hate me, but you need to come back, Natasha has to come back. This is what you, Natasha would have wanted. She left Natalia behind a long time ago for a reason."
Natalia wasn't getting any answers and it was frustrating. "Leave."
"What?" Loki asked.
"I want you to leave, now."
He offered her a sad smile and respected her wish. He apparated back to Avengers Tower, having nowhere else to go.
After Loki left, Natalia didn't know how to feel. She really wanted to know what that memory was. And if Loki was telling her the truth, would she even want to remember it? Pondering her thoughts for another hour, it was time to meet James.
Arriving at the designated bench, she sat and scanned the area. It had been exactly three hours and James was due to meet her any moment, but would she get any answers? Did she still want to take down the Avengers with him? Or was getting that memory back more important at the moment. She didn't even know what to say to him. As she scanned the streets, she noticed the guy who had fallen on her earlier when he slipped her the note. He was standing with his back to an alley, looking straight at her, as if beckoning her to join him.
The moment she got up, he stepped into the shadows behind him. She bolted across the busy street and ran into the alley. Seeing no one, her eyes found the only door in the alley and decided to follow it since the man had no one else to go. She opened the door and found herself in the back of one of the shops. The man who owned the shop looked at her fearfully before turning his back to her. He had clearly allowed people back here before and chose to turn a blind eye, or was paid handsomely. She heard the steps creak to her right and found a staircase leading to another level. Climbing the stairs, Natalia found herself on the second level in a room with few furnishings; just a bed, dresser, and small table. In the corner, she saw a figure standing, and smiled when she saw light reflect off of his arm.
"Why are you here? Did Steve send you?"
"Steve? Why would Steve send me?"
James stepped from the shadows looking clearly confused. "Who else would it be? I know SHIELD didn't send you, I would have traced any communications. And HYDRA, well, they are a bit disorganized at the moment."
"I came by myself. I have questions." Neither of them moved, their bodies were tensed for a fight. The last one didn't end well, it ended with him shooting a bullet through her shoulder.
"And what questions would the infamous Natasha Romanoff have for me. If you are here to ask me to apologize for shooting you, you may as well leave now."
"Natasha Romanoff has no questions for you, Natalia Romanova does."
James's face lit up. "I haven't heard that name in decades, I know it...we know each other?"
"We trained together."
"I do not remember, HYDRA erased my memories. I've only recently been getting some back. Your name sounds familiar, but I do not remember you."
Horribly disappointed, Natasha smashed the table next to her. James didn't even flinch.
"I need answers and no one will give them to me! How am I supposed to take down the Avengers if I don't have help? They are too powerful. I need to know what happened to me the past few decades and why I was sent to destroy them!"
"Destroy them? Why?" James asked carefully.
Natalia looked him dead in the eyes, "I was sent to." She saw something shift in the clear orbs.
"Steve is with the Avengers," he stated.
"Yea, he is, and it was too easy to take him down. I just couldn't finish it though. I was hoping you would come back with me to finish the job."
Natalia didn't like what she saw, she knew that look all too well. It was the look he always had before he attacked her in their training.
"I won't let you take down the Avengers, I will never let you hurt Steve."
Natalia tensed her body again, and then reigned in her frustration. She knew a fight would not be won here, they were always perfectly matched. James seemed to realize it too, but he wanted to protect his friend. He now saw Natalia as the enemy.
"I will take them out with or without you," she simply said, and then backed out of the room.