It was probably the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, and it was probably going to be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do. I wasn't sure where I was headed, but I knew I needed to get out, and quick before Duke realised I was gone. I couldn't let him find me, I couldn't give him the opportunity to talk me into staying.
That would only deepen the hole I'd dug for myself.
I walked and walked, undecided on where I was going to go and how I was going to get there. I considered hitching a ride with a stranger, but I remembered what had happened the last time I'd gotten into a car with two seemingly normal men. I just hoped that Duke and Callum wouldn't know where I was, if I had no idea where I was.
I continued walking until I found a bus station.
The weather was cold as I dropped my hoodie over my head. The pain surging had increased through my muscles due to the walking, but I didn't have time for pain, I needed to be away from Duke, far away before I selfishly changed my mind.
I sat myself down in the small bus shelter, scanning its walls for a times sheet. The plastic cover was drenched in moisture from the cold air. I ran my finger down it and stopped on an unheard of town that seemed prominently discreet. I checked my phone and double checked the times sheet.
It was perfect.
I was going to a place called Daints Peek.
I had never heard of the place, nor had I any idea how far away it was from home. I just hoped it was far enough.
I wasn't worried about money, throughout my intense work hours, I'd earned a fair amount to keep me going until I found a new job.
I had ten minutes to kill until the bus was to arrive at four in the morning.
I wondered to what extent Duke and Callum would look for me. I tried not to imagine Duke's face when he was to discover the note, I couldn't bear the thought of his face, hurt, by me, again. Nor Callum.
This was why I was leaving in the first place, that pain, was my fault.
I bobbed my leg up and down, trying to ease my mind from the pain that began to set in.
With a town now set in my sights, I had derived a plan. I would need to find a motel, drench my body in pain killers until I was healthy again and then find a cheap apartment. I needed to find normalcy, no hesitation, no time to want to turn back.
I had no idea if the move was going to help solve my problems, hell, I didn't even know if it had the capabilities to become somewhere for me to hide out.
Minutes passed like seconds, and soon enough, the bus came chattering down the empty street until it came to a halt in front of me.
The doors flung open, letting out a breeze of warm conditioned air. I climbed aboard and handed the plump driver a five dollar bill.
He nodded at me with a round smile and handed me my change before clicking a button that slammed the doors shut again.
"Where too?" He asked, raspy and deep
"Daints Peek" I told him, confident
"Nice choice" He smiled, kind
I smiled in return and walked into the isle of the bus. I grabbed the rails for support as we began to sway with movement forward.
There were a few people among me, surprisingly; an older man at the front, sitting with his back slumped, a cane supporting him up. A younger looking woman sat in the middle, gazing out the window like she was lost in her own little world.
I reached the back of the bus and noticed a teenage boy leaned against the window, his head resting on his hand as his black leather hood hung over his face. He looked young, too young. I considered the idea of him being a runaway, but quickly brushed off judgement - I guessed that that was what I was now too.
Deciding on a safe spot, I sat along the opposite side of the boy, keeping my head low, but my attention high.
I hoped for my damaged organs sake, the bus ride would be smooth and short.
At one point I even considered taking a nap, but I knew that probably wasn't a good idea when I had no idea where I was even going
"Are you okay?" A male voice spoke, instantly bringing me to attention, back to reality from outside the window view
I turned my head to face the teenager across from me, his blue gaze was fixed on mine with a look of concern
"Yeah, I'm fine" I answered
"You look a little washed out" He smiled, pointing to his own face to 'demonstrate'
"Yeah, I guess I haven't had much sleep lately" I shrugged, playing it off as casual as I could
He nodded slowly, unconvinced "Where you off too?" He asked, his soft face watching me carefully
"Daints Peek" I smiled slightly
"No shit" He smirked, the immature side coming out from him like I had expected
I nodded, unsure of what to say
"I'm headed there too" He continued after a moment
"First time?" I asked, curious as I narrowed my eyes
"Brand new" He smiled, shuffling over to the edge of the seat he was on towards me
"You look a little young to be moving to a new town on your own" I told him, a little unsure of how to take him
He lightly laughed and rolled his eyes "Yeah, I get that a lot. I'm sixteen, my parents aren't around anymore, so I'm alone most of the time. I've learnt to make a living on my own, do what I can to survive, you know" He shrugged, the mature side in him fighting against his age
I smiled, feeling like I already had something in common with the boy
"You don't look that old either, running away from something or are you in the same boat as I am?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at me like I had to him
I pretended to think about it for a moment before speaking "Bit of both"
"Brilliant" He smiled approvingly
"So what's your plan once you get there?" I asked
Maybe having a new friend who understood my situation would be another way to regain my sanity, my normalcy
He shrugged "Find a cheap place to live, find a job, and start all over again, again" He joked, eyeing the sky like his saviour
"Smart man" I nodded back "Sounds like a half decent plan"
"I like to think so" He winked before shuffling back to the window side of his seat
I didn't say anything else, and neither did he.
I didn't even know this boy's name, yet I felt a friendly connection to him. I hoped we'd talk again, or meet somewhere in our new town to catch up with our success stories.
I leaned back in my seat, hoping to get a little rest before arriving at Daints Peek.
I needed more medicine, I knew that for a fact. My ribs were aching, the bones cracking and screaming with each bump in the unmaintained road.
I watched the forest outside my window pass as the minutes dragged on. The elderly man exited about half an hour in, the woman about forty minutes into my trip.
By the first hour, the boy and I were alone, heading towards an unknown town with an unknown fate.
I was tired, and in an immense amount of pain when a vibrating in my pocket jolted me entirely awake. I fumbled around with the pocket of my jeans until I pulled my mobile out, examining the flashing screen.
It was Duke.
I stared at it for a moment, unsure on whether or not to answer it as my heart sped up.
My anxiety began to set in. This was a test, and this would be the hardest moment it would challenge me, while my wounds were raw.
It continued to flash, my past intent on catching up with me. I should have ignored it, I should have left it be. But I couldn't. I needed to be strong, and being strong meant saying goodbye before moving on.
Bravely, I pushed green and pressed it to my ear. I didn't say anything, I just listened.
"Rosie?" He spoke, his voice causing my stomach to unnaturally twist
"Yeah?" I asked, calm, so far
"Where are you?" He asked, his voice filled with concern
I sighed "Don't follow me, please"
"Rosie, you aren't well, you can't just run off when you have the injuries you have, you could make it worse" He rambled, finding any excuse to bring me home
"I'm fine, I can handle myself. Look, I know this is hard, but it's harder for me. You have all the time in the world, and I don't. Let me work myself out, and if it's meant to be, it'll be, but please Duke, for now, I'm asking you to just, let me go" I told him, barely keeping it together, begging for him to not make this any harder than it already was
"Rosie, I..." He trailed off, the hurt heard through in his voice "You should have talked to me first, worked something out. Can you at least let me know where you are, how you're doing, I need to know you'll be okay" He tried, grasping at whatever he could
"Duke, I'll be okay, I promise. Some very incredible people have taught me how to be strong. Maybe later I can call you, we can talk, but for now, give me some time" I told him, surprised at how well I was taking it, my voice still calm yet my insides screaming
I heard him sigh, but give in
"Okay, I'll be here, whenever you decide to come home, whenever you decide what you want, I'll be waiting" He told me, his voice resisting another begging
"Thank you" I told him, closing my eyes as I forced back tears
"Rosie?" He asked as I was about to hang up
"Yeah Duke?" I squeezed my eyes tightly together
"I love you" He told me, sweet, comforting
I squeezed my eyes tighter, the sound of his voice too much, the sound of those words killing me in so many different ways
"I love you too" I whispered before disconnecting the call
I pushed the phone back into my jeans pocket and forced the tears back down my eyes and into my throat. I leaned my head back and tried to focus on anything but the sound of his voice, his words
"He the one you're running from?" The teen's voice spoke from beside me again, pulling me from my thoughts
I scoffed and nodded.
If only he knew.
"Is he one of those abusive drunks?" He asked bluntly
I shook my head silently, avoiding his gaze
"I don't get it then" He tilted his head sideways
"It's complicated" I told him, not wanting to talk about it, let alone think about it
"I understand, love is like that" He shrugged, returning to face the window again
I stared at him for a moment, watching as he returned to his position against the window pane
"What's your name?" I asked, curious
His head turned to face me with a smile "Pete" He answered "You?"
"Rosie" I replied with a small smile
"Nice to meet you Rosie" He nodded before turning back to the window as if he had secrets of his own to mull over.
I looked back outside my window and watched as passing trees and road vanished within a blink.
I wished I could have vanished that way, so quickly, so easily, before anyone had time to notice my darkness.
Half an hour later, the bus began to slow.
The trees outside my window began to disperse into a small village.
It wasn't as I had imagined, it was small, wooded, as though I had passed back in time.
Small vintage clothing stores sat neatly on the outskirts, cafes, take away stores, a few privately owned mechanic shops and pubs.
"This must be it" Pete spoke, lifting his gym bag onto his shoulder as he got up from his seat
I followed, slowly. I slung my bag over the good side of my shoulder with my good wrist and crawled from the seat until the bus slowed to a stop. I stood when the floor was stable, walking down the aisle as Pete waited at the bottom for the doors to open.
The driver clicked his switch and the doors skidded open, sending a gust of cold winter air into our skin. Pete stepped out first, me in tail as we looked around our new home town.
"This is cute" Pete mumbled, looking around like a tourist in New York City did
"Yeah" I mumbled in reply before walking in the direction of a rustic motel sign a few streets ahead along what I assumed to be the main street.
Slowly, carefully, I tried to hide my limp, the pain shooting directly through my limbs the moment I applied pressure. I needed medicine, ASAP.
Thankfully, the motel was only a few short streets down from the bus stall. I dawdled through the entrance path, an open and quiet garden on either side of me until I met the point of entry. Pushing the glass reception door open, I was greeted with a swirl of warmth. It raced up my skin, comforting instantly.
"Hey there, how can I help?" A middle aged man asked as I approached the counter, his moustache moving on his top lip as he spoke
"I'd like a room please, can I pay by day?" I asked, hoping he took day pays.
"You sure can" He smiled, typing up on his 1999 computer before raising an eyebrow to me "You aren't sure as to how long you'll be here?" He asked as he pulled out some paperwork from the printer behind him
The question wasn't at all intrusive, he was simply making conversation and I tried not to overact and become paranoid.
I shrugged "I'm not exactly sure yet, I might look at some rentals tomorrow" I told him
"Really?" He asked, surprised
"Yeah" I nodded as he handed me a pen
"Not many people move here, but the few that do, never leave. It's a beautiful place, but I could be a little bias, I was born and raised here" He revealed as I scribbled down my information
"That's good to know" I genuinely told him "This is something I think I need"
"I can give you our local paper, sometimes they have advertisements for rentals, decent places, decent prices" He suggested as I pushed the paperwork back towards him
"Sure, that'd be great"
He turned around and shuffled through a few papers he had lying on his desk before he pulled one out and turned back around to face me.
"Here" He smiled, handing it to me along with a set of keys "One newspaper and the keys to room 15"
"Thank you, for this" I held the folded paper up "And this too of course" I clutched the keys in my other grip"
My designated room was on the second floor, nestled along the back left of the motel shaped neatly into a U.
I unlocked the door and pushed it open to reveal the budget room I'd be staying in until further notice.
Off white walls, dark curtains matching dark carpet. A bed in the centre dressed in outdated brown itchy blankets. Basic furniture was supplied, essential for basic living. It was as I had expected it to be.
I dumped my bag on the bed and tossed around inside the contents until I found my almost empty tablet canister.
Exploring the small fridge, I found a small water bottle.
Tipping the tablets into my mouth, I tilted my head back to swallow them whole with the flow of cold liquid.
By now, the analog clock beside the bed clicked over to six in the morning. The sun had only minutes ago risen, but I felt my body pull, drag me into its desire to sleep.
Seemingly, my former lifestyle had rubbed off on me, I had altered into a slight nocturnal routine.
The call of bed was tempting, sweetly serenading me to slide in, rest my eyes, and despite wanting to force it back, I realised that in my state, it was probably not the time to play it too bravely.
Dumping my bag on the floor, kicking my shoes off, I crawled into the crisp, standard generic smelling detergent sheets.
I eased myself slowly down and sighed beneath the crunch of my pillow. I closed my eyes and hoped for a few hours sleep to entangle me. The more I could get, the quicker I would heal, the clearer I could think and move on with my next chapter.