Tears build up in my eyes, clouding my vision. I close my eyes, feeling the tears release and stream down my face before re-opening them. I try to hold back the tears, as I focus my attention to the test.
1 line means that I'm not pregnant
2 Lines means that I am
I slap my face gently, as if to wake myself up from a dream. But I am not dreaming, and I am not pregnant.
I stare at the one line red line on the screen of the test, I'm not pregnant. I feel all my worries and fears finally letting go. I don't know what I would have done if I ended up pregnant from that one stupid, regretful night spent with Beau.
At the thought of Beau being a father, but not just any father the father to my child my hands clench and throw the pregnancy test on the ground. I have no doubts that he would have not supported me, since he is known for being a 'player,' and not to mention a dick.
But yet still I let myself fall for him.... I grab my face with my hands and stretch out my face, before gliding my hands down my neck and clenching them into fists.
Why couldn't I have fallen for a nice gentleman... This is all my fault, I'm so stupid and I have no one else to blame but myself. I knew what I was getting into with Beau, but still I took the risk. Hoping that things would turn out different, oh and they sure did... I nearly got knocked up, bloody hell.
Then there's the fear of breaking the news to my mum, she still thinks I'm a virgin and it would break her heart. Her daughter 17 and knocked up, oh that would have been a disaster. What if she kicked me out of the house and disowned me? Leaving me to defend and support myself.
What if she forces me to abort it? I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do that to my own baby. What if Beau forces me to abort it?
But now I don't have to, and I will gladly never know what horrible experiences I would have had to go through. Not to mention everything I would have had to give up, like my schooling for example. I haven't got university ruled out either, since I don't really know yet what I want to do with my life.
I can't even put into words how thankful I am that the test was negative. It's not like I don't want children of my own, I love kids! It's just that... I want to bring them into the world when I'm emotionally and financially ready to support a baby.
One day I would love to have a baby of my own, who I will love with all my heart and bring into this world with a loving family. But now wasn't the right time.
I pick up the test, and take it with me into the bathroom. I throw it in the small bin, and wash my hands thoroughly with soap. I turn the tap back on and embrace the feeling of the cold water colliding with my face. I wipe away the out of place makeup stained marks, before deciding to apply my face wash on and rub off all the makeup.
As I wipe off what's left with baby wipes, I look up and stare at myself in the mirror.
"I'm not pregnant." I state relieved, and a small smile reaches my face.
It feels good to finally be able to say it out loud.
The girl looking back at me in the mirror has a lot of different emotions, she looks tired, relieved and disappointed but she looks happy.
I am happy, but there's just a little tiny part of me that is disappointed. I know it's for the best, but just the thought of having a baby and now not having a baby... I just feel a little bit out of place I guess.
Then there's the rest of me, who is thrilled. I am not stable to have a baby, it was just not meant to be. Definitely not meant to be!
Looking at the test in the trash, I quickly run in the bathroom and grab some toilet paper. With the bunch of toilet paper in my hand, I grab the test from the bin and wrap it up.
There.... now it looks like a used pad! I place it back in the bin, but make sure to push it further down from the rest of the rubbish so it's unseen. But that's not enough security for me, I grab the bin lining, tie it together and pull it out from the now empty bin.
I walk down the hallway and into the lounge room, but I am stopped in my tracks just as I hear a click.
Oh god.... she's home.
I think about sprinting away, but it would look suspicious and I just want to get rid of the trash now.
"I've got sushi!" Mum exclaims, walking inside with my dad by her side carrying most of the groceries.
So instead I stand still, with the rubbish bag behind my back. I use one of my hands to hide it, while the other rests on my hips. Because that looks so much better, I mentally slap myself.
"Yum." I bring myself to say, adding an awkward smile, fidgeting with my feet and avoiding eye contact.
"Hey hunny." Dad says, giving me a kiss on the cheek before walking straight past me and into the kitchen with the bags of groceries.
"What are you hiding?" Mum says, her motherly protective instinct taking kicking it. She takes quick steps towards me, as her eyes narrow to my arm behind my back before returning to my eyes.
"Oh this?" I say as I lift up the trash from behind me. "Just going to take out the trash." I add, before speed walking past mum until I reach outside the front door.
"Since when does she take out the trash?" I hear my mum's distant alarmed voice, as I walk down our driveway.
"Relax, we raised her well." Dad's calm voice tells my mum.
Lifting up the lid to our rubbish bin, I gladly throw out the plastic bag which inside contains the test.
I skip my way back to the house, even doing a cartwheel on my way.
Beau's POV
"So, how's it going?" Luke randomly says as he passes me by in the lounge room.
"Good." I bluntly reply, studying his intentions.
"I wasn't talking about you." Luke shakes his head, before walking off on me.
Oh so his talking about Cassie, of course he is. He just won't get off my back about it and let me deal with it myself. No he has to keep reminding me that time is passing and I'm still on the same bet ugh.
Luke glances back at me, as if his eyes are trying to tell me something. "Well are you coming or what?"
With that, I shrug before following him into his room. Something's up, that's why he suddenly wants to talk so secretly.
He leads me into his shared room and tells me to close the door on my way in.
As I close the door I notice Jai standing in the room as well. Okay well this is weird... I doubt they want to have a friendly brotherly chat.
I literally stand there waiting for an explanation or some sort of clarity, the room is so quiet that I can hear the clock ticking. I cross my arms, the continuous clicking noise getting louder and louder as each second of silence goes by.
"Well am I just going to stand here or what? What the fuck do you want?" I ask in a pissed of manner, tapping my right foot impatiently on the carpet and crossing my arms
"Glad you asked my brother." Luke chuckled, excitement evident on his face. "Now look what we have here, oh what a surprise from the turnout of events." Luke rubs his hands together, sighing in delight as he pulls out the leader board.
Yes the tally for our bets, all our names our listed in a column with our current score and the woman that we are working on.
At first I stare at it confused, trying to focus on my attention to what is so amusing.
Jai doesn't look so amused, in fact he's the complete opposite. His attention is distracted by our mum calling out that dinner is ready and being served.
Within seconds Jai is gone, and running down the hallway. I turn around, about to head off as well but I am stopped by Luke hitting his hand on the board.
"Take a closer look!" Luke says agitated, it is then that I notice where his hand has been placed.
It's straight under my name. I take a closer look, the realization striking me like lightning. Okay I may be exaggerating, but I was gobsmacked at the sight. It hasn't even been that long, how did it happen this quickly. I know I have been taking my time with Cassie but still, they can't be that fast.
I am coming last, LAST?! This can't be happening, no I won't let it!
"Looks like it's too late for things to turn around for you now."
"Shut up! Anything can happen, especially since I'm going to up my game with Cassie." I argue in an intimidating tone, with my head held high and chest puffed out.
Although I'm not so sure I can, it's been so unbelievably challenging with Cassie. But I'm sure I can make my way around it, and I've got just the idea to make us closer than ever.
And with that thought in mind, I make my way down to the dinner table. Jai is already seated with half his plate empty, and spaghetti sauce spread around the corner of his lips.
Cassie's POV
I am awoken in the middle of the night, with a strange sense of someone being in my room. I open my eyes only to be embraced by complete pitch black darkness, I frantically search around my room with my eyes, trying to see a figure, or some sort of explanation but I find nothing.
I grunt and turn over on my left side, only to find that it's 2 o clock in the morning. I take deep breaths, as my heartbeat becomes steady and normal again.
I swing my legs over to the edge of the bed, my feet collide with the ground and I walk around my room slowly but surely. As I am walking, I feel a cold breeze reach me, causing goose bumps to appear on my arm. I stop in my tracks and rub my left arm, my fingers running over the goose bumps.
My window is open....
I continue to walk over to my window, and the fresh air becomes more distinct and stronger. That is really strange, I always close my window before bed. I don't leave it totally open either, I normally open it about half way.
I shrug it off, close my window and make my way back to bed. I obviously need more sleep, because now I'm hallucinating things.
I decide to jump back on my bed, but it doesn't work out as smoothly as I planned. As I swing one leg over, I don't realize how far back in height my left leg was and so I let out a hushed cry in agony as I stub my toe.
I quickly swing my painful toe over on the bed and cradle it with my arms, as I rock back in forth with excruciating pain. Not long after the pain subsides, before it completely vanishes.
I try to get in a comfortable position, laying on my back before rolling over to my right side, and then left and grunting before letting out a sigh of relief and closing my eyes awaiting sleep.
******************************
After grabbing my psychology books, I speed walk my way to the classroom reaching the distance just as the bell rings. The door is wide open, and I poke my head inside discovering the teacher hasn't arrived yet.
I quickly scurry in thankful that I had made it in time, and take a seat next to the already seated Beau. I recollect myself, pulling back the loose strands of hair that are shorter because of the layers in my hair.
"Hey," I am greeted by Beau in a warm welcoming voice, as I hear him shift in his chair turning to face me.
"Uh hi?" I answer back, more bitchy than I had intended oops. I can't help it... Just looking at him brings back memories of the night that shouldn't have happened. The fact that he was drunk and I stupidly gave in makes we want to rip my hair out of my scalp.
"I've missed you." Beau smiles, ignoring my previous attitude.
I missed you too.
"It's only been a day Beau, calm down." I half-heartedly laugh, trying to ignore his comment which makes my heart race.
"Make me." Beau whispers, before slowly leaning away from my ear only to stop half way and stare at me.
With the way his looking at me, his beautiful face, his breath fanning my face and the small distance between us I can't help but be tempted to kiss him. I almost give in... Almost! However I am distracted by the sudden closing of the door and quickly turn my head to the noise.
"Ugh sorry I'm late again, but on a brighter note good afternoon everyone. I expect you all to work hard today, we've got a lot to get through in our double." Mrs Hardy says, before placing her bag as well as a pile of notes on her desk and opening up the lid to her laptop.
Once the roll is done, Mrs Hardy sets us reading that we have to do as well as questions to complete when we're done. I flick through the pages until it lands on page 40 and I begin reading, my eyes scanning over the words trying to understand it all.
About half way through the double after the bell rings, Mrs Hardy gets our attention by telling us to stop what we are doing and to listen up.
"I've corrected the tests, but some people were away and have yet to complete it so you can come up one by one and get the result."
Nerves and excitement builds up within me, as I watch the students making their way to the front. I huff at the already forming line, and decide to carry on with my work instead.
Surprisingly Beau doesn't disturb me that much, besides the occasional eye contact or smile sent my way and I couldn't be more appreciative. There's a lot of work I still have yet to complete, and I really don't want to have to do it for homework since Mrs Hardy sets aside work especially for home.
"You want to hear the result?" Beau nudges my side, interrupting me from my writing but I don't mind as I look up and see no one in line to get their result.
"Yeah sure, let's go."
And with that, we walk together up to Mrs Hardy. I reach there first, and impatiently wait as she fails to notice me standing there.
I fidget with my hands, as time passes by and I'm still standing there unsure of whether she is purposely ignoring me or doesn't see me standing there.
I turn to face Beau and huff in annoyance, in which he pouts back at me before staring at Mrs Hardy and coughing rather loudly. This causes her to quickly spin around in her chair and turn to face us in shock and surprise as Beau pretends to cover his mouth.
"Oh sorry, I didn't see you there." Mrs Hardy exclaims, looking back at us in surprise.
"Okay Cassie, Cassie, Cassie..." Mrs Hardy hums, as she scans through her folder trying to find my name. Meanwhile I turn my head back facing a now smirking Beau.
"Thank you." I mouth.
"You're welcome." He mouths back, I find that my stare lingers at him for far too long and I quickly regain my attention back to Mrs Hardy.
"Oh Cassie, you did a good job!" Mrs Hardy smiles, looking up from her folder and pointing her finger to my name.
I lean in closer to get a better look and a grin erupts on my face. 65% BOO YA!
"Now Beau as I can recall your result was really pleasing to see!" Mrs Hardy exclaims, as I make my way back to my table.
"Now let me see... OH YES LOOK AT THIS!" Mrs Hardy gleams, pointing her finger over to his score. I watch Beau as he leans closer. For a second I see a small smile tug on his lips, but then he shrugs it off and walks off like it's nothing.
Okay I really want to know what he got, but maybe it's too rude to ask. Oh come on its Beau we're talking about here, I don't think that's what he would consider rude.
"So what did you get?" I curiously ask, resting my hands on my face and my elbows on the table eagerly awaiting his answer.
"Oh wouldn't you like to know?" Beau chuckles, mimicking my position and fluttering his eyelashes.
"Well when you put it that way...no." I cross my arms, turning away so I don't have to look at his stupidly handsome face.
"Oh come on, I'm just mucking around. I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours." Beau grabs my elbow, causing me to look back at him and his happy mood.
"Okay." I bluntly say, although inside I'm dying to hear what he got.
"Okay." Beau grins.
We both stare at each other, before I decide to speak up "Okay so how are we going to do this?"
"Okay so you write your score down on a little piece of paper, and I'll write mine down. We fold it up and then we'll swap and open it up."
"Sounds good to me." I say in a much better mood, and rip out a tiny piece of paper. I write down 65 and fold it up.
As I look up Beau has already got his paper scrunched up in his hand, with a glint of mischief in his eyes. I hesitantly hand him my paper and he gives me his in return.
As I open the paper up, I stare at the word staring back at me in capital letters SUCKER
I can't help a scowl making its way onto my face, as Beau takes one good look at me and bursts into laughter. I angrily rip the paper up into tiny little pieces, before setting it aside at the top edge of my table and continuing on with my work.
That scheming little-
"Aw come on babe, you got to admit that was pretty funny." Beau laughs, while trying to get my attention in which I completely ignore.
Beau begins to whine but he is silenced by the teacher, "Beau please be quiet! Get on with your work and stop bothering Cassie or I will move you. Just because you got 80% on the test doesn't mean that you can now start slacking off." Mrs Hardy sternly says, causing the whole room to go quiet besides some escaped murmurs from students.
I begin to open my mouth in shock, but I quickly close it. He got 80%? Wow I really underestimated him, his really smart I could use some help from him.
But too bad! I'm not getting any help from this cocky bastard, it would all go to his head. And it's not like he'd take me serious anyway.
Not long after the bell rings, signalling lunchtime. Mrs Hardy keeps us seated for a few more moments as she hands us our homework for the rest of the week. After they have all been handed out, she lets us go.
"Bye Beau." I half smile, before grabbing my school things and quickly walking off.
It was bad enough having to sit next to him for a whole double, I just can't stand looking at him right now. One minute I want to kiss him, the next I want to cry and slap him. The pregnancy test is really getting to me, when I see his face I just can't help thinking about how out of control this whole situation is.
The more time I spend with him, the less control over myself I have. I want him, but I really shouldn't. But I do and I can't help it!
I watch as the rest of the students emerge from the door, hurrying to their lockers as I hold my books, while leaning against the wall next to the psychology classroom.
It is then that I notice Beau emerge from the door, I quickly look away and turn my back to him holding onto my books with a tighter grip. Okay he didn't see me, I mentally do a victory dance in my head, before hurrying off into the opposite direction to where my locker is just to avoid Beau.
I look over my shoulder, studying him. His playing with his hands, and mumbling something repetitively to himself. He shakes his hands, as if trying to release the nerves. I wonder what's got him so worked up.
He looks so preoccupied, I doubt he will even notice me. I turn on my heel, and make my way towards my locker. I quicken up my speed as I pass Beau, and he doesn't even notice me walk straight past him.
Yes! Go-
"Cassie!" My name is suddenly screamed, by the one and only Fiona. She hurriedly walks over to me with a smile on her face.
"Cassie?" I hear my name being called again but this time from behind me, I freeze up and don't dare to look back.
"Oh you won't believe what just happened, okay so after media I was walking out of class. You know on my way to my locker, going to get my lunch and guess who was standing there completely in the way." Fiona stops, awaiting for my response.
"Emma?"
"NO!" Fiona exclaims, waiting for my next guess.
"A teacher?" I guess again, and by the look on her face I can tell I'm way off.
"Okay wait, I've got it... Luke?" I say in amusement, winking at Fiona.
"Way off, why would Luke be there anyway?" Fiona looks at me confused.
"Because he has an interest in y-"
"Okay I've heard enough!" Fiona hurriedly interrupts me, trying to keep a straight face but a smile breaks out onto her face.
"Okay so what were we talking about?"
"Um about what happened to you after media?" As soon as I finish my sentence, realization is shown across her face.
"Oh yes! Okay, so there stood Courtney at her locker. She had put all her shit away, and she stood there. She had the nerve to stand there on her phone, blocking the way for me to get to my locker. I swear this bit-"
"Hello ladies." Beau interrupts, squeezing his way in between Fiona and I.
I stare at him gobsmacked, and Fiona looks furious at him for interrupting her rant.
"So how are you two lovely ladies?" Beau smiles wrapping an arm around the both of us.
"Cut the crap, what do you want?" Fiona scoffs, immediately throwing his hand off her with a disgusted look. She wipes her shoulders as if he just spread dirt on her, and sends daggers his way. While I press my lips together to try and contain my laughter.
"I want Cassie." Beau says, but then his eyes widen in realization at what he just said.
"I-I mean I want to talk to Cassie." Beau says flustered, as Fiona grunts at him.
"I'm busy." I quickly reply, grabbing his hand that is still slung around my shoulder and gently taking it off me. As I let go of his arm, it flops down beside him and I can't help a silly smile making its way onto my face at the sight.
"Oh come on its lunchtime, and it will be worth it." Beau says, but there is no smirk in sight and I stare at his face dumbfounded.
"No smirk today huh?" I say amused, reaching my hand up to his face and poking his cheeks causing him to smile. I stare at him wide eyed at the sudden action, and quickly pull back. His smile leaves and he is left frowning at me.
"Okay well... I see this as my cue to go. When you're done Cassie Emma and I will be where we usually sit." Fiona smiles before walking off. Fiona suddenly stops in her tracks, and spins around "Oh and if you hurt her, I will ruin you. Ruin you." Fiona says in an intimidating tone, which makes Beau chuckle.
"Oh I'm being serious, I wouldn't be laughing if I was you. Or you'd wake up with a bald head, which would just be the start of my torment buddy." Beau's chuckle comes to a halt. I can't help but smile with my teeth at Fiona's statement, she is just too cute god I love this girl.
"Love you." I call out to her, which replaces her murderous glare into a complete grin at me.
"Still watching you." Fiona warns, her fingers pointing accused at Beau.
"Love you too!" Fiona exclaims to my previous statement, before she is completely out of sight.
"Is she going to come back again?" Beau chuckles, a glint of humour and annoyance in his eyes.
"Probably."
"I can hear you!" Fiona's voice fills the hallway, causing us both to laugh which results in Fiona's laughter echoing back in the hallway.
"So what was so important that you just had to tell me?" I ask Beau, flipping my hair back before walking over to my locker.
"Nice weather isn't it?" Beau randomly says, even though we're inside and it's a gloomy day today.
"Um if you count pouring rain and wind nice weather, than yeah I guess." I shrug, entering the number combinations for my locker.
"Sorry I'm not in the right head space today." Beau quietly mutters, which catches me by surprise.
First he apologies, and now his revealing his not in the right head space? This man must be crazy, or maybe his tired or sick? Maybe his sick and tired. He doesn't look sick though, damn you Beau Brooks and your crazy handsome looks.
"My eyes are up here." Beau chuckles, emphasizing on his oh so beautiful eyes by waving his hands around.
"Now there's the Beau I know." I grab my lunch, close and lock my locker before turning around to face him.
"You mean you know and love." Beau smirks, oh there it is.
More than you could ever imagine, oh if he knew what my feelings for him and what my worries were yesterday I bet he'd run for the hills.
"Whatever makes you happy." I sigh in content. Okay I'm getting way too comfortable... first I'm wanting to avoid him and now I don't want to leave. Hey, maybe I'm the one who's crazy.
"You make me happy." Beau smiles with a toothy grin, which causes me to look away in embarrassment. Damn... I walked straight into that.
The compliments still get me every time. I can't help it, I'm not used to being noticed and admired.
I look back at him with redden cheeks only to find that his moved closer and is already staring at me. Oh my goodness... if I just leaned in I'd be able to kiss him. Without thinking my eyes wander over to his lips, but once his lips curve outwards I quickly look away in further embarrassment.
"Hey! There's no need to be shy, it's not like we haven't kissed before." Beau reaches out, his hands cradling my face with so much depth and warmth in his eyes.
"Well when you put it that way." I say with so much confidence that even Beau looks taken back. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, and give into the temptation.
I stare down at his lips once more, before crashing my lips against his. Beau catches up and smiles into the kiss. My arms tighten around his neck, but not tight enough to choke him of course. While Beau's hands caress my face, holding me so gently.
The kiss starts to get more heated as both our desperation increases, Beau slams my body into the lockers and he breaks away from the kiss. We stare up at each other completely out of breath, before Beau's face breaks out into a smile, and I feel my lips twitch upwards unable to control the happiness bursting out of me.
"Cassie." Beau says, stopping abruptly to catch his breath.
"Will you uh, will you-" Beau runs his fingers through his hair before opening his mouth again. "Just give me a sec." He mutters, while trying to control his breathing.
Let me just say, that this guy is really turning me on and it's scaring me.
I bite my lip and nod, in the same out of breath situation as him. Beau stares at me for a few more moments, he looks like he wants to say something but he keeps quiet for a little longer. The longer he takes, the more nervous I start to feel with my back still pressed up against the locker.
"Cassie... will you be my girlfriend?" Beau finally manages to say collectively, there is no smile or hint of humor on his face. His got a blank expression, it's hard to read him as he is focused on studying me intently.
Wait did he just say.... NO! It must have been a slip of the tongue. I stare at him in silence, as he looks at me in anticipation and awaiting an answer.
Nope, I can't do this....it's too much. My heart beat increases, and a knot forms in my stomach.
YES I'LL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU SEXY BEAST!
He wants me to be his girlfriend? This can't be real, wake up wake up! I bang my head against the locker, which earns a worried look across his features and a groan in agony from me. That was not a good idea.. this is all too much, too much. That was the last thing I expected to come from his lips.
I could seriously run away right now... so that's what I do.
I literally run down the hallway, and out through the front entrance of the school building just so I don't have to confront Beau.
Hello, hello!
So this one is pretty long, and I'm actually quite pleased with how it turned out surprisingly :') Anywho I hope you enjoyed and if you want let me know what you think of it and leave a comment and vote because I love feedback and the comments really do help motivate me to write. Thank goodness for the holidays, it's been so lovely and I've had so much free time on my hands to actually have the time to write.
So there's this writer on Wattpad and she's practically family to me, a sister from another mister sort of thing haha. So her name is malikwarrior and she is an exceptional writer, her stories are One Direction based btw but don't let that stop you or put you off because you don't need to know anything about them at all to read her stories. She's got two stories she's currently writing, Insane (Zayn Malik) and Serendipitous (Harry Styles) and Control (Liam Payne) which is coming soon. So while you're waiting for me to update, go check out her stories if you're looking for a new read. Personally Serendipitous is my favorite. She's still in the process of updating both of the stories, but like I said they are definitely worthwhile and are a catch as they certainly got me hooked straight away.
I hope you are all doing well, until next time my lovelies xox