My eyes grew wider when I saw Greyson calling. After everything that happened today, I don’t know if I could manage to talk to him. It’s been a while since we’ve talked but I don’t know; I’m not sure of what I’ll say to him. Every time he's there, I just run out of words to say and that is not normal.
Well, I’ll eventually answer the call so I really don’t know what I’m blabbing about.
"Hello?" I bid. There was an obvious shake in my voice. I know it.
"Hey. Are you free tomorrow?" he asked and I felt the warmth on my cheeks.
These past few weeks has been really rough for me. School has given me tons of work and stress. Daddy issues are still bothering me. Chase almost gave me a heart attack for what happened to him; not considering that he just confessed his desire towards me. Plus, Clio's jealous. I don't know, I need a break and I think being with Greyson would be a good way to at least run from all of this.
"Yes I am," I answered. "Why?"
"Well, do you want to go out? I mean, just relax or anything you want to do," he suggested.
"I would love to. Where should we go though?" I inquired.
"Anywhere. With our bikes?"
"Yeah, sure," I replied.
"I'll go there at 3 in the afternoon," he alleged and that painted a smile on my face.
"Alright, alright. I'll see you then?" I said, feeling the redness of my cheeks.
"Okay, good night Ash!" he bid.
"Good night, Grey!" I said and hung the phone up.
I threw myself to bed smiling. After a long day, I think it turned out great because of him.
I don't know, I just feel pure bliss whenever I talk to Greyson. His light-hearted attitude brightens up my day. Like he's transmitting all the positive vibes to me. I don't know how he does it but it feels beyond great. And I admit that among all the people I've met here in Edmond, he's probably my favorite.
And that night, I knew that I slept with a smile on my face.
**
The next day, breakfast was quite awkward for me. I don't know. There is a huge distance between me and Clio even though I'm just sitting across her.
"How are you girls doing?" Grandma suddenly blurted out.
"I'm good," Clio said blankly.
"Well, I'm going out later with Greyson," I said with the same tone as Clio did so it wouldn't be a big deal or what not.
Clio suddenly tickled me playfully. "You're dating him, aren't you?" she teased. Her mood was literally the opposite of what she's like just a moment ago.
I just smiled.
"Don't worry, Tamia. I won't tell your mom," grandma teased a well.
"I'm not dating Greyson. We're just friends," I said with a voice that's quite convincing.
"Sure," Clio said sarcastically with a cheeky smile.
"I swear I'm not dating him. I'm not dating anyone," I assured.
"Why are you so defensive?" she teased once again.
"I'm not, okay?" I said.
"Fine, fine," they said in unison and grandpa just laughed.
The breakfast that I thought miserable turned out quite fun because of grandpa's classic old jokes and grandma's stories about her old days as a teenager. I admit it was a great way to start the day.
**
I took a nap later that afternoon and when I woke up, it was almost 3 in the afternoon. I jumped off my bed and got ready.
I took a quick shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I was walking across my bed when I noticed how much I changed in front of the mirror. It has been a long time since I stared at my reflection by the mirror. Every day has been so busy and rough for me that I don't have time to fix myself. Right now as I'm looking at myself, I see a weak and down version of me.
I used to have a golden shiny hair and now it turned to a complete mess: dry and unkempt. My glowing face is now wrinkled. My body structure that was once healthy is now skinny which looks really delicate and frail.
I turned around, looking at my own appearance. Not just the outside's scarred but also the inside. I feel ugly.
Not noticing how the time came fast, I hear a ringing by my window and I'm guessing that it's from Greyson's bicycle. Consequently, I heard the sound of our door bell.
I literally ran through my closet and rummaged for something decent to wear. After a moment of finding an outfit, I ended up wearing a denim shirt and a pair of beige trousers.
I was combing my hair when grandma yelled my name from downstairs.
"I'm coming!" I yelled back, rushing to get my knapsack.
Swiftly, I ran downstairs and brushed my hair some more. I found Greyson at the kitchen, eating banana muffins that were leftovers from the bakeshop yesterday together with Clio and grandma. And as usual, grandpa's at the winery, doing a lot of tasting and cipping of grapes and other stuff for the business.
"Hey," they all said in unison.
"You should come and join the feast," Clio said, smiling.
I walked towards them and grabbed a muffin.
"You know, I don't understand why your banana muffins weren't all consumed. I mean, they are really mouth-watering and yummy," Greyson said to my grandma like she's his own mom or something. I really find their relationship funny. I mean, Greyson was just her customer and now he's here, eating my grandmother's muffins. In her own house. Crazy.
"I don't know either," grandma shrugged. "Anyway, you guys should go now wherever you're supposed to go and I shall clean the house. Clio, help me alright?" she said, winking.
"Oh of course, grandma," Clio replied, giving me a cheeky smile. "Take care, the both of you okay?"
Greyson looked at the ground and smiled. "Ha, thanks."
"So, shall we go now?" I asked.
He nodded and pulled me out of our house. I grabbed my bike and both of us went out, not knowing where exactly to go. And finally, after some quite time, I felt pure happiness. Thanks to him.
I didn't notice where we were since I've been looking at Greyson's back through out and I just found myself at the middle of nowhere.
"Hey, hey, hey. Where are we?" I asked.
"I don't know either," he answered without worries or anything.
I let my foot fall to stop my bicycle and said, "Are you crazy?"
He stopped as well and said, "I followed the rails of the train. We won't be lost okay?"
Clever.
"This route is up until Norman, in what I know. But don't worry, we won't be lost. You just have to trust me," he assured, looking at me.
"Fine, whatever you say."
We've been biking for almost an hour. If I only knew that we're just gonna stroll around with our bicycles, I should have worn my pajamas or anything more comfortable than this. I wanted to feel okay for him but I'm just really tired right now. I wanted to lay at the ground and sleep.
When I couldn't take it anymore, I stopped and let my bike fall wherever it is. Greyson looked back at me and I sat at the green grass. I don't know where I am. All I could see were grass, mountains and the train's rails.
"I'm tired. Go on if you want to but I'm sitting here," I said.
"I can't go on alone so I'm sitting there with you," he said as he walked and sat next to me.
Both of us were at the middle of nowhere, sitting on the cold ground, looking at the mountains across us. It was silent and blissful at the same time.
Being the dork that I am, I felt awkward so I decided to break the silence.
"Have you read The Great Gatsby?" I asked.
"Fitzgerald?"
"Yes, exactly," I said.
"Yes, I already read it. What about that?"
"I finished reading it like 3 months ago but I'm still not over it. Let's put it this way. It's a disillusionment of the American dream. It is every facade of a household, it is every hormone-ridden adolescent bursting with teen angst and dreams of a bigger life, it is the drive that keeps us going and tears us down at the same time." I said. "And most of all, it is everything that has ever made me lie awake thinking in my bed at night. I don't know, I just love it."
I looked at him, sighing because of everything I just said. He looked back at me and his eyes met mine.
"You're amazing," he said.
"Pardon?"
"I said you're amazing. And beautiful as well."
I laughed at that because it's just crazy talk. "You're demented, Grey."
"You really are beautiful," he whispered.
"Stop."
"Stop what?" he asked.
"Saying that I'm beautiful." I said.
"Why? It's the truth."
"It's not okay? You don't see me at the end of the day. You don't see me right when I get out of the shower. You don't see me, trying on every clothing in my closet because I look horrible in everything. You don't see how gross and miserable I look most of the day. You don't see me. You don't see my scars. You don't see my flaws. You don't see what I see whenever I look at myself in the mirror so don't dare to say I'm beautiful," I sighed and continued, "because I am not."
He shook his head and said, "You don't get it, do you? You think you know what you look like but really, you don't. You're right, I don't see you the way you see yourself, but you don't also see the way I see you. You have no idea, Ash. You don't see yourself laughing, you don't see how your eyes light up whenever you smile. You don't see yourself walking down the halls every morning with your hair falling down by your eyes. You don't see yourself whenever you read books by the stairs, looking so peaceful and calm. But I do, that's why I have every right to call you beautiful."
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what do you think about it? :) comment down below guys! thank you so much for reading xx ~ krissy.