A/N: The song for this chapter is I Can't Make You Love Me by Jasmine Thompson. It's attached and I'll let you know when to start playing it. ;)
And now the final chapter of Hava's story.... (Are you crying? I'm crying)
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11 Years Old
-Ava's POV-
"I want to help."
"You're to little to get up on the ladder."
"I want to help."
"No."
"But Lemonnnnn!"
"Olivia, it's Lennon! Len-on! Not Lemon! How many times do I have to tell you?"
"Everything alright in here?" I question, taking a step into the foyer.
"Mummy, Lemon won't let me help!" Olivia runs up to me, grasping ahold of leg. "I want to help. Make her let me help!"
"You can't Olivia, you know Dad doesn't like you on the ladder." Lennon sighs.
"But I want to help!" The very emotional five year old currently attached to my leg whines. "I want to make things special for daddy too!"
"Love, come help me in the kitchen." I run my fingers through Olivia's brown hair.
"But I want to help with the sign thingy. Please!" Olivia begs.
"Livvy, why don't you help me instead? You can ice the cake." I suggest.
Olivia's eyes light up seconds before she runs towards the kitchen, the thought of helping Lennon completely leaving her mind.
"Lennon..."
"I know, I shouldn't of yelled at her." Lennon looks down at me from her perch on the fourth step of the ladder. "But she wouldn't leave me be mum. And she almost ripped it. Again."
Lennon holds up the corner of the welcome home sign she's holding, the light catching the strip of clear tape now holding it together.
"Just try to keep in mind she just wants to help alright?"
"I will... I'll try to."
"Good." I smile, "And it still looks lovely, he won't even notice. I.."
"Mummy I have a new one!"
I glance up, seeing a mop of brown hair just above the railing, bouncing down the stairs.
I lean down, scooping his small frame up in my arms as he reaches me.
"I have a new one!" He grins, a dimple appearing on his left cheek.
"Do you?" I press a kiss to his little forehead.
"What do you call cheese that's not yours?!" He giggles out.
"Hmmmm." I raise an eyebrow at him. "No idea."
"Nacho cheese!"
I laugh along with him as he fist pumps, proud of himself for getting a laugh.
"Daddy will like it yeah?"
"I think he'll love it." I grin, setting him down on the floor. "Now go wash up, dinners almost ready."
"Nacho cheeeeeese." He giggles as he climbs the stairs.
"Graham..." I call after him, causing him to pause and peek through the stair railings. "And don't bring Henry to the dinner table again."
"But he'll be lonely... Don't want him lonely do we mummy?" His eyes plead with me.
"He's a turtle." Lennon speaks up. "He doesn't have feelings Graham."
Graham's mouth drops open in shock. "Does too! Mummy... please!"
"No pets at the table." I shake my head. "But you can bring him down after."
Graham smiles, seemingly content with the compromise as he runs the rest of the way up the stairs.
I make my way back into the kitchen, finding Olivia standing on a chair pushed up the counter, currently squeezing a glob of pink icing onto the cake.
"Did I spell love right?"
I take a step behind her, looking at her little masterpiece, we love you daddy! messily written out in pink and blue frosting.
"You did." I smile, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Looks really good baby."
"Daddy will like it?" She glances up at me.
"He'll love it."
"He's here!" Lennon yells from the foyer, causing Olivia's eyes to widen.
"I'm not in my dress!" She yelps as I help her jump off the chair. "Don't answer the door till I'm in my dress!"
Her hair bounces on her shoulders as she runs out of the room, Lennon's voice calling after her. "He's not gonna ring the bell silly! Hurry up!"
I quickly wipe the counter down before heading back into the foyer and helping Lennon put the step ladder in the closet.
I check myself in the mirror above the table in the entryway, feeling the same excitement I always do in this situation.
"You look lovely mum." Lennon wraps her arms around my waist from behind.
"Thank you baby." I smile, turning in her arms and giving her a tight squeeze.
The front door opening causes both our heads to snap up, Harry's tall frame soon coming into view.
"Dad!" Lennon yells, running to him as he drops his bags on the floor.
He laughs as she nearly knocks him over, his arms wrapping around her as he glances at me.
Blessing the me with the dimpled grin I've missed desperately the past two weeks. A quick wink is sent my way as a huge smile covers my face.
"Daddy!!!!" Olivia and Graham's voices blend together as they run down the stairs.
Lennon steps back just in time for our twins to each attach themselves to one of Harry's legs. He quickly leans down, scooping them both up in his arms.
"I've a new joke! And I taught Henry how to high five!"
"You like my dress!? Mummy got it for me!"
"One at a time loves." Harry chuckles. "Missed you lot. You been good for your mum?"
"I have." Olivia speaks up.
"Graham?" Harry raises an eyebrow.
"Mostly good." Graham shrugs. "You left me with all these girls daddy."
Harry laughs, setting the two of them down gently. "That I did. Sorry little man."
"Do you like my dress daddy?" Olivia twirls around, her pink princess dress flowing out around her.
"Very much. I think...." He leans over unzipping his bag. "..it's missing one thing though."
He pulls out a little tiara, sparkling with glitter and plastic jewels, making Olivia gasp.
"It's beautiful daddy!"
Harry grins, setting it gently on top of her head before giving her a kiss. "Now you really are a little princess."
"Mummy look!" Olivia runs up to me, showcasing her little crown.
I crouch down, adjusting it so it doesn't slip out of her hair. "Very pretty. Matches your dress!"
"And for you mate." Harry holds out a small book to Graham before tousling the hair on top of his small head.
"It's a turtle book!" Graham holds it up for me to see. "It's a book about a turtle mummy!"
"Maybe we can read it to Henry later.." Harry suggests. "See if he knows the lad."
"Yeah!" Graham grins, clutching the book to his chest like its his most prized possession. "Thanks daddy!"
"Yeah thanks daddy! I love love love it!" Livvy smiles, once again twirling around in her dress.
"Good." Harry smiles, pulling one final item out of his bag. "For you poppet."
Lennon steps forward, taking the small piece of paper out of Harry's hand.
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" She jumps up and down, losing her usual calm demeanor. "I'm going to see Aunt Poppy!!!"
I share a smile with Harry, happy he was able to arrange Lennon's trip while he was in London.
"Am I going alone!? I've never flown alone before!" She excitedly asks.
"Bit to young for that I reckon." Harry shakes his head. "Your uncle Louis will be in L.A. for a couple weeks. He'll be flying with you."
Lennon smiles, her face turning a light shade of pink at the thought. She's had a little crush on him for years, one he seems to be overly proud of being it annoys Harry to no end.
"Thanks dad!" Lennon gives him another hug.
"You're welcome." Harry smiles, "Now out.. the lot you so I can give your mum a proper hello."
Lennon starts steering Olivia and Graham towards the dining room.
"Eww, they're going to kiss!" Graham scrunches up his nose as he glances back at us.
"Stop you." Lennon laughs, taking his hand to pull him out of the foyer.
I watch them go, shaking my head at them as large hands move around my waist. I look up, my eyes meeting Harry's.
"Hey you." I smile as he grins down at me.
"Missed you.. So much baby."
"Missed you t.."
My words are cut off by Harry's lips on mine, kissing me passionately as my fingers find their way into the ends of his hair, resting just at the nape of his neck.
"Never gonna be gone for two weeks again. Won't do it. Promise." He smiles at me, dimples popping.
"How'd it go?" I ask.
"Good." He nods. "Got them signed and in the studio in three days."
"Knew you could do it." I grin, proud of him as always.
"They're gonna be huge." He remarks, referring to the new band he just signed to Styles Entertainment.
"With your help they will be."
"Hope so. Now enough about work..." He looks over my face thoughtfully. "I missed you."
"Think you already said that." I purse my lips, trying not to smile.
"Must mean it then." He pecks my lips before his eyes gaze down my body. "And you look... Jesus love..."
"I what?" I raise an eyebrow at him playfully as his eyes meet mine.
"You're gorgeous. So so pretty Av... I missed you... Love you baby."
"Love you." I pull him closer by the collar of his shirt, needing to feel his lips on mine again.
A muffled giggle causes us to separate, Harry glancing over my shoulder.
"We've a spy on our hands." He lowers his voice as I look over my shoulder.
"Oh no!" I widen my eyes as Olivia claps a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. "Well you know what we do to spy's..."
"Right." Harry smirks, stepping around me.
"No no no!" Olivia shakes her head laughing as Harry runs over and picks her up.
His fingers pinch lightly at her sides, causing her to scream for help as she laughs.
"No ticklin'!" She yells, squirming around in his arms. "Mummy help!"
"Mummy's on my side." Harry laughs, finally setting her tiny feet down gently on the floor. "And you're a spy."
"I'm a princess!" She corrects him then looks at me. "I'm a hungry princess."
"Alright princess, let's eat." I take her hand and let her lead me into the kitchen, Harry following right behind us.
Dinner is as it always is. Filled with awful jokes
and laughter and stories and good food. I love sitting at the table surrounded by my family, seeing each and every one of them with smiles on their faces.
My eyes focus on Lennon as she tells us about all the things she wants to do while in London. She'll be there three weeks before the rest of us arrive and head to our summer home in Holmes Chapel.
We purchased a house there not long after Graham and Olivia were born, deciding it would be where we would spend our time when the kids weren't in school.
We quickly realized we could of gotten a much smaller house being the kids were rarely sleeping at it. Their summers were spent going from Anne's to Finn and Gemma's to Poppy's.
Olivia preferred Finn and Gemma's, their own little girl only a few months younger then her.
Graham was the spitting image of Harry through and through, from bad jokes to loving his grandma more then his precious turtle.
And Lennon gave everyone equal amounts of her time, never wanting to hurt anyone's feelings by choosing a favorite.
By the time dinner was eaten, Lennon had asked if she could go to a school dance with the captain of the soccer team, Livvy had proudly announced she was now on the lookout for her own Prince Charming, and Henry had somehow managed to claim his own seat at the table.
Watching Harry with our children was something I could never get enough of.
The look on his face when Lennon asked to go on her official first date nearly made me laugh out loud. He couldn't say 'Nope. No.. Not happening. Ever' fast enough.
When Olivia started daydreaming about princes, he promptly informed her 'Princes are mean brutes love. Daddy's the only man you should ever trust.'
And when he learned Henry was alone upstairs, he insisted he be brought down so he knew we loved him.
It was something I looked forward to every single day... sitting down with my family for dinner every night.
The family I never dreamed I would get.
"But we never go to bed right after dinner!" Graham whines, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Cause dinner's usually earlier." Lennon reminds him. "We waited for dad tonight."
"But I'm not tired."
"You have you're sleepy eyes on." Olivia speaks up.
"I'm fine." Graham insists.
"You heard your father." I stand up, grabbing up a few dirty dishes. "Off to bed."
"Yeah alright." Graham huffs as him and Olivia haul themselves out of their chairs.
"Good lad." Harry smiles. "I'll be up in a minute."
Lennon helps me clean up as the younger kids trudge upstairs to get themselves ready for bed.
"So do I have a song to hear tonight?" Harry asks as he steps into the kitchen, setting a few empty plates on the counter.
"I just finished it today!" Lennon grins, "Well, mum helped me of course."
"Barely." I speak up. "I only tweaked the chord progression. The rest is completely all her."
"That so?" Harry raises an eyebrow, just as proud of our little singer/songwriter as I am.
"Maybe." Lennon shrugs, a smile still adorning her face as she fills the dishwasher. "But it's about mum, so without her I wouldn't of been able to write it."
"About your mum?" Harry glances at me before focusing on Lennon.
"Yeah.. About when she was married before you."
I give Harry a small smile as he looks at me. We've never kept my past a secret from Lennon. And one day when the twins are old enough to understand, we'll share my story with them as well. Hoping they can learn from my mistakes. Hoping they never settle for a life less then what they deserve. A love less then what they deserve.
"I'm sure it will be brilliant. Let me put the little ones to bed then I'll meet you in the living room yeah?" Harry kisses the top of her head. "Can't wait to hear it Poppet."
As soon as the kitchen is cleaned up, Lennon heads towards the piano, nervous for Harry to hear her song. She's written a few already, each one being better then the last.
I make my way upstairs to give Olivia and Graham each a goodnight kiss, finding Harry set on a chair between their two small beds.
I can't help but smile at the site.
I know there will come a day they won't want to share a room any longer, or get a story read to them each night. But for now, they are inseparable, and I try to remember all these little moments I'll miss when they've grown up.
Harry finishes up his story on a happy note, this one about a monkey on a surfboard finding the perfect wave. He never reads from a book, always being able to make up a story as he goes along. Usually throwing in some hidden message about brushing your teeth every day and picking up your toys.
I quietly walk into the room as Harry stands up, leaning over each of them and giving them a kiss goodnight. I follow suite, tucking them in tightly before turning the dim light in Henry's tank on.
Harry's hands rest on my shoulders as he guides me out of the room, shutting off the light before softly closing the door behind us.
I'm spun around the second it clicks shut, finding a dimpled smirk on Harry's face.
"Lennon's waiting for us." I remind him as his lips make their way to my jawline.
"Right.." He breathes out against the skin of my neck. "Am finishing this later though."
"I'll hold you to that." I smile and peck his lips before heading down the hallway.
I lead the way downstairs, swatting Harry's grabby hands away from my bum every other step.
We find Lennon sat at the piano, playing over a few chords of her song.
Harry's arm goes around my shoulders, pulling me into his side as he presses a kiss to my temple.
"She's so you." He whispers in my ear as we watch her bit her lip in concentration, her long brown hair cascading down her narrow back. "Beautiful and talented just like her mum."
I just smile as he takes a seat next to her on the long black bench, watching them interact. Lennon's always so nervous for him to hear one of her songs. Wanting nothing more then to make him proud, when he already couldn't be more so.
-Start Song Now-
I smile as I hear her play the first notes of the song.
I was so surprised when she came to me with the short poem she had written about a small aspect of my forgotten life. It was then I realized she was quickly changing from a little girl into a young woman.
It was then, when her song brought old memories back to me, I realized how truly grateful for Harry I really was.
He was the exact opposite from the kind of relationship I had experienced before him. He loved me. He proved it to me every day.
I suck in a breath when her soft voice finally starts singing, the sound warming my heart.
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices, inside my head
Lay down with me and tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power, but you don't
No, you don't
Cause I can't make you love me, If you don't
If you don't
No you don't
I close my eyes and then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me til then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power But you don't
No you don't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
If you don't
No you won't
She plays on, Harry and I sharing a glance as he looks over the top of Lennon's head at me.
I can tell by his eyes exactly what he's thinking.
He loves me.
The second her fingers leave the keys, Harry is already gushing over the song. Making her cheeks flush as he goes on about how brilliant it is.
Her dream is to someday be on stage, singing in front of crowds of thousands. Harry of course couldn't be more thrilled she wants to follow in his footsteps, his only condition being she finish her schooling first.
I quietly leave the living room, giving them some one on one time as I shut off a few lights and head upstairs.
I peek my head inside the twins room, happy to find them both already fast asleep. Whenever Harry's away on business they always end up in my bed, scared monsters are going to get them in the night. But when they know he's just down the hall, the monsters don't seem as scary, and they are able to easily sleep in their own beds.
I make my way into our bedroom, turning down the covers before washing my face and brushing my teeth. I quickly shed my clothes and slip on the black silk nightgown the just so happens to be Harry's favorite.
I'm still standing in front of the mirror, brushing out my hair, when I hear the bathroom door softly pushed open.
A tall shirtless frame appears directly behind mine, our eyes meeting in the mirror as his hands rest on the curve of my hips.
My hair is swept off my left shoulder as I set the hair brush down on the counter. Warm lips soon touch my exposed neck, pressing a light kiss to the surface.
"I'm so lucky I have you." He says quietly. "I missed you baby. So much."
"How much?" I smile softly at him as he sets his chin on my shoulder.
"Hmmm.." His serious expression is replaced by a smirk. "Remember that picture of you? The one where you're in the light purple lingerie?"
I purse my lips in thought, "No."
"Was right after.." He pauses, frowning a little. "Was when I brought you home from the hospital after you were hurt."
"Oh." I nod. "Yeah. You mean the picture you stole out of my phone?"
"Didn't steal." His smile returns. "Anyway.. I've still got it."
"And what does this have to do with how much you missed me?" I raise an eyebrow at him as our eyes meet in the mirror.
"I'd say a fair bit being I wanked off to while I was gone. Twice." He smirks.
I open my mouth to speak but he shakes his head as he turns me around in his arms.
"Don't even try calling me a pervert. I'm cheeky. And I only did what any lad would with a picture of you like that."
"Wish I still looked like that." I sigh.
"What?.." His eyebrows furrow as he looks down at me.
"I said.."
"Know what you said." He cuts me off, "Stared at that picture a good while this past week and have the real thing in front of me now... You think you look different? Afraid I disagree. You're being silly love."
"I am not." I cross my arms as Harry chuckles.
"You are. Plain ridiculous I think. How do you look any.. Forget it, am not even asking that question. You look the same Av." He pauses, his eyes looking me up and down "Fuck Ava.. You look better. You.. You're wrong. End of discussion."
"Is it?"
"Yesssssss." He pulls me towards him, his fingers feeling the silk of my nightgown as his voice deepens, "Now can I take this off you?"
"If you insist." I smile against his lips.
He doesn't waste a second in taking the smooth fabric in his hands and hastily pulling it over my head. Letting it drop to the tile floor as his eyes darken with lust.
"How the fuck do I ever leave you?" He shakes his head a bit as his eyes move down my body.
It's not the same as it used to be. Not after three babies. But I work hard at keeping myself fit. And I chase after two five year olds every day.
It's not the same body at I had at twenty seven, but it's a pretty damn good one for the age I am now.
"Av..."
My eyes lock with Harry's, an amused smile covering his face.
"Hmmm?" I practically pant out as he pushes his boxer briefs down his long legs.
"I asked if you wanted me to take you here or on the bed." He questions, an devilish smirk on his face as he takes himself in his own hand.
Damn him. He knows exactly what he's doing.
"I..." I close my eyes a few times, trying to clear my head enough to even think
"Am in a bit of pain here baby.." He presses me to decide.
"Ummm Both?"
"Perfect answer." He breathes out as his hands grip the back of my thighs.
I'm swiftly picked up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he sets me on the counter.
I gasp as he immediately pushes into my warmth, grasping his shoulders as he groans.
It was fast and hard. How it always is after we've been away from each other. Fueled by lust.
Then it was slow.
He carried me to the bed, laying me down gently before he crawled on top of me. Kissing everywhere his lips would reach, skimming his fingers across my skin endlessly. His eyes never leaving mine as his thumb runs along the small scars on my stomach.
"Crazy to think what I could of lost that day..." His voice fades off.
My fingers run through his hair as he presses a kiss to the two reminders of that horrible night.
Had the knife gone just a bit deeper, had the neighbor never heard me screaming...
I would of died on that floor, for Harry to find when he got home. Lenny, Olivia, and Graham would be nothing but a dream I thought would never come true.
And someone else would of built a life with the man who only belonged with me.
"I love you." I whisper, the words barely leaving my lips.
Harry slowly moves up my body till his face is hovering right above my own. Looking at me with so much love and affection I feel my heart might burst.
"I love you." He says softly. "Av.. You've no idea how much."
"No?"
"Not a chance." He shakes his head, giving my lips a soft kiss before looking in my eyes. "But I plan on spending the rest of my life showing you."
I smile as he pecks my jawline, completely content and perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life letting him do just that.
THE END
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If you didn't see it yet, I attached a pic of what all the kids look like. ;)
Please do me a huge favor and check out my new story, The Most Dangerous Game. The first twenty some chapters are already posted!
And please please please read on, the post following this one will be my authors note and I need you guys to read it to know how truly thankful I am for each and every one of you. :)