She could still leave. She had the opportunity to bounce before the therapist actually got there. Her old therapist would probably still see her if she asked, and she wouldn't have to go through all this again. It was just exhausting, having to go over everything even though someone else already knew, plus she had no idea who this new person was.
Yunjin's leg kept bouncing as she looked around the office. It was a bit more comfy than the other one that always smelt like hospital. It had an incredibly comfortable blue couch, a matching armchair, and a desk. She was nervous, meeting new people always did that to her. She tried to distract herself by standing up and looking at the frames on the walls.
There were multiple pictures of two young girls, they must have been around Eunchae's age. One had full bangs, smiling up at the camera while the other who was a bit taller held up bunny ears behind her head and smiled as well. They were cute. There was another with the two of them and a woman. She was gorgeous, dressed to the nines, but still had this cute little gummy smile she was right next to- wait.
"Hey, sorry I'm late. My last client ran a bit over-" She knew that voice.
She spun around, pausing when she saw the woman who just walked in. The therapist paused as well. "Jisoo?"
Wait, Kim Jisoo? Her Kim Jisoo? Her junior year chemistry tutor, that just happened to make her realize that yeah she actually liked women in a way that wasn't just admiration. She looked older now, but not in a bad way. She looked mature, like she had grown into herself. It made Yunjin smile a bit. She was wearing an expensive looking suit, and had the same shocked expression Yunjin was wearing.
"Yunjin?"
"So this is what you've been up to all this time." Yunjin chuckled, making her way over to Jisoo.
The therapist rubbed a hand on the back of her neck and nodded a bit sheepishly, "Yeah. It's good to see you again Yunjin, you look nice."
"Thanks."
Jisoo took a seat in her chair, motioning for the detective to take a seat on the couch. Jisoo looked a bit troubled, and Yunjin got why. When Yunjin needed her, she abandoned her. Even back then Yunjin understood though, she needed to look out for her own safety and seeing how Yunjin was struggling as well they just weren't meant to be. But now for her to show up at Jisoo's work, her trauma therapy was probably concerning for the older. It did make Yunjin a bit curious though, how she went from that to specializing in LGBT patients.
She decided to start light, "Are those your girls?" She pointed at the frames on the wall.
"Yeah those are my kids, Lisa and Chaeyoung. And my wife Jennie." Jisoo smiled.
"How old are they?"
"Lisa is four, Chaeyoung is five."
"They're around my daughter's age then." Yunjin smiled, "She's six."
"You have a daughter?" Jisoo smiled as well, eyes flickering down the ring on Yunjin's finger. "What's her name?"
"Eunchae."
Things fell into a gentle rhythm after that. And before either of them knew it their time was up and it was time for Yunjin to leave. It felt good, like catching up with an old friend. Maybe it should have been a bit concerning how easily Yunjin was able to open up with her already instead of dancing around topics like she had done with her previous therapist. It was only their first session but Yunjin could see this was going to go well. She needed it to go well.
"Are you all set?" Chaewon smiled, standing up when she saw Yunjin approaching. She slung her tan tote bag over her shoulder, reaching out a hand for Yunjin to take, which the detective gladly did. "How did it go?"
"It went well." Should she tell her that Jisoo was her ex? She tried to weigh the options. She was sixteen back then, and they broke up. There were no lingering feelings, quite frankly she was happy the woman was married and had kids now. Knowing her put Yunjin at ease, the therapist had never proven herself to be someone who wanted to hurt Yunjin. It was easier to open up this way. Keeping it from Chaewon might make her think that something more was going on. On the other hand Chaewon could get jealous, and want her to stop seeing her. Granted this was the first session, Yunjin really felt like she could make some good progress with her.
"I can hear you thinking, what's wrong?"
"I dated my therapist in highschool." Maybe Yunjin could have said that in a better way.
"Oh?" Chaewon cocked an eyebrow, "So are you going to switch again?"
"..no? If that's okay with you."
"Why wouldn't it be?" Chaewon asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Okay, that was definitely not what Yunjin was expecting. "I trust you. So if you say it's okay, then it's okay."
"Oh."
"Let's just go home dork."
Friday nights meant date nights. Well when Eunchae and Kyujin Weren't over their house at least. Yunjin really liked when they came over and movie nights with them, something about hearing Kyujin and Eunchae's hushed giggles through walls in the middle of the night was reassuring. Even if Yunjin had to sleep with one eye open because god forbid Kyujin decided to kiss Eunchae on the cheek again. Both of them were tired this week though, so date night was being moved to the apartment. Which Yunjin didn't mind one bit.
Chaewon already had everything set up, simply just taking the styrofoam container out of the fridge and setting it on Yunjin's nicked coffee table, before taking a seat on the floor with her back resting against the couch. Yunjin made her way next to her, giggling as Boo tried to jump up on the couch and nearly missed. The lawyer opened the container revealing four different slivers of cake.
Was this a big deal? It was just cake. Chaewon talked about going cake testing briefly last week but Yunjin didn't have the energy to go to a restaurant and go through the whole process. It seemed like Chaewon didn't either. This was better. Chaewon took a bite her eyes winding.
"Here," Chaewon held up her fork, which Yunjin opened her mouth a bit reluctantly at. She took the piece of cake into her mouth, cringing at the sponges texture. It wasn't bad, she's had worse, but it definitely wasn't good. Chaewon took the second piece and placed it into her mouth, smiling at the flavor. Strawberry was going on the 'yes' list apparently. Yunjin took another sip of her wine, the quicker she could get this over with the quicker she could just forget about cake all together.
She forced herself to swallow the rest of the pieces, washing it away with red wine and distracting herself by petting Rey who had sat himself next to her looking up at the food and begging for a piece. If Chaewon wasn't right next to her she probably would have given him and Boo a bite. Chaewon seemed happy, she was always one to love sweets. Eunchae seemed to like sweets too, but she was more of an ice cream girl like Yunjin
"Which one did you like the most?" Chaewon hummed when they were finished, closing the container and pushing it further onto the table.
Now Yunjin could just lie and say she liked whatever one Chaewon liked, and just not have any at the wedding. Honestly cake wasn't really the most important part to her, more so dress, decorations, music. But she promised she would be involved and tell the truth. She sighed, "I don't like cake."
"Huh?" Chaewon gave her a look, "You don't?"
"No, I don't like the texture and the flavor. It's not my thing."
"Oh," Chaewon frowned, "What do you want to do then?"
"What if we got an ice cream cake?" Yunjin suggested. Now, that was something she could get behind. The watermelon roll one from the supermarket or if she was really feeling fancy the ones from cold stone or Baskin Robbins. She could eat that all day. Her first birthday living with Sakura was when she was still in training, but in that weird time between actually being a police officer and having to quit her part time job so she could train. She felt horrible putting both of their financial burdens on Sakura, but the older officer insisted it was no big deal. When she bought an ice cream cake after work and surprised Yunjin with it, which slightly creeped her out because she didn't remember telling Sakura her birthday she could describe what she felt. Both of them pretended that Sakura didn't hear her sobbing on the couch in the middle of that night.
Chaewon smiled, "An ice cream cake?"
"Yeah, we can get one from Baskin Robbins or Dairy Queen!"
"Okay, um- Let's compromise on the ice cream cake, but we're going to get an actual cake."
"They're really good though-"
"You're such a dork." Chaewon giggled, pressing a gentle kiss on Yunjin's collarbone. Yunjin's phone buzzes with a notification and she briefly checked it, rolling her eyes when it was a text from Chaewon's mother asking if she had dinner and that she needed to eat. Honestly, Yunjin expected the woman to not like her especially after the state of the house when she left. But Suzy seemed to be fine with it, texting Yunjin every night asking about her day or pictures of Eunchae she could send her friends. Sometimes Yunjin wonders if that is what her relationship with her mom could've been like, other times she's just grateful Suzy doesn't hate her. Chaewon's dad would text her sometimes too, mostly about Eunchae though.
"Babe-" Chaewon giggled. Yunjin looked where she was looking and zeroed in on her phone lock screen. It was a picture of Eunchae and the twins. What was so funny about that? It was seriously a cute photo, with the twins on either side of Eunchae sleeping as Eunchae smiled up at the camera. She had sent that to Chaewon's mom and the woman replied with three heart emojis and a demand that she made sure she ate that night.
"What?"
"You're so cute." Chaewon smiled, nuzzling a bit further into Yunjin. "You always say you don't want any more kids, yet you are constantly talking about the babies."
"Yeah, because they're not my kids. I get to be the fun aunt and then they go home and Sakura has to deal with them." It'd be a lie if the thought of having a little Chaewon running around hadn't crossed her mind every so often, but honestly she was firm on not wanting a kid. She had to know her limits, and taking care of a baby just wasn't the right fit for her. She had Eunchae, she had chaewon , she was satisfied. Sure Yunjin never had a sibling herself even though she really wanted one when she was younger, and Chaewon seemed to be very happy with her sister, she still didn't think it would be right for Eunchae to have a little sibling. Eunchae needed constant attention, and a baby would take away from that. While Chaewon could handle a baby mentally, Yunjin couldn't. She knew her limits and it would be selfish of her to do something like that.
"I saw Eunchae's baby picture in your wallet last night." Chaewon hummed.
"It's too cute not to carry around."
"You're so weird."
"You know the house across from Wonyoung and Yujin is up for sale." Yunjin mused, "It's way under our budget and it looks great from the pictures."
"Do you want to make an offer?"
"Kinda." Yunjin shrugged, "I'm up for a promotion soon so I'll be getting a raise."
"I make a lot of money. We don't really have to worry about that."
"I don't like to feel like I'm not contributing."
"You definitely are."
"I might be able to switch divisions."
"At work?"
"Mhm."
"Why?"
"There are some leadership positions open in other divisions I might be able to take. Plus you'd like it more if I switched." Now, Yunjin loved her job. She had been doing it for a while now, and honestly she was quite good at it. She liked everyone in her division, really there was no downside to it. Well, except for the long hours and inherent risk of it all.
This was something she had been thinking about for a bit. Firstly, with Eunchae she's had to take time off and switch her schedule around to the point she's sure others are starting to feel annoyed. She had to leave early to pick her up, and she even enrolled Eunchae in the after school program so she could stay two hours later. Then she'd come home and help Eunchae with her homework and spend time with her as either Chaewon cooked or Yunjin ordered food. Then Chaewon would come home and Eunchae would shower and get ready for bed, then Chaewon would put her to sleep. After Yunjin would have to stay up and work on cases as Chaewon went to sleep, finally going to sleep when either Chaewon would wake up and make her go to bed, Eunchae would try to slip into her room and remind Yunjin she needed to sleep as well, or it just got late enough that Yunjin knew she needed to sleep. It was starting to take its toll on her.
Add on the fact that Chaewon was texting her multiple times throughout the day because she was scared Yunjin was going to get hurt again, it was only natural. She could tell it was eating at Chaewon the more she started going back to her original position and not this weird hybrid one that she was forced to take as she healed. It wasn't fair to Eunchae, Chaewon, or anyone around her for her to keep this job even if she liked it.
"Baby I don't want you to switch just because I'm a bit nervous. You like your job." Chaewon frowned.
"But you would like it more if I didn't have it." Yunjin hummed, "Maybe I should just quit all together and get a job at the aquarium."
"Eunchae would love that."
"She would." Yunjin mused, "We should get her a fish tank in our new house. That way she can look at them all the time."
"Are we still going to the aquarium next week? Chaewon looked over at Boo who was sleeping peacefully on the couch, "Boo wake up something happened!"
The dog popped up and looked around before laying back down with a sigh. Chaewon had tried that on Yunjin once, but it only made her fly out of bed and run into the living room before actually getting annoyed when Chaewon said it was a joke. She just shook her head, "Yeah, we are. Plus I'm taking Eunchae dress shopping with me, Sakura, and Yeonjun next week."
"Okay, Hana is going with me sometime next week too." Chaewon reaches over to put her wine on the small beat up coffee table in front of them, "I can't believe the wedding is in a few weeks."
"Me either."
"You're still okay with that right?"
"Right." She was. She wanted to marry Chaewon, and yes while she was still terrified this was the right decision. She had a family that loved her, she had Chaewon, she had the dogs, she had Eunchae, the babies, Sakura, Kazuha, everyone. She felt whole again.
"Well I was thinking, because we're getting married and buying the house, I just- Here-" Much to Yunjin's dismay Chaewon broke away from her, digging around in her tote bag. She took out a manilla folder and handed it to Yunjin. The detective took it, giving Chaewon a questioning look. "Open it."
Slowly Yunjin opened it up. What was this? If it was a marriage certificate, Yunjin would have to refuse. They already agreed to wait. Wait what if it was divorce papers- wait you needed to be married to get divorced. The detective let her eyes flutter over the first few words.
Petition for adoption. Blah Blah Blah. More legal jargon. Huh Yunjin. Kim Chaewon. Hong Eunchae.
"What's this?"
"I know we talked about this, and I'm not trying to rush you into it. We can sign it whenever, and we still need to go to court with Eunchae to have her officially adopted. But I don't know, it felt weird for you and I to get married and not have Eunchae be legally ours as well, I'm not trying to force you-"
Yunjin shut her up with a kiss, wrapping her arms around Chaewon's neck. She loved her so much. She pulled away, resting her forehead against Chaewon's, "I love you so much."
"I love you too."
"We should ask her when we go to the aquarium." Yunjin mused, breaking away from Chaewon. She interlaced their fingers once again, looking down at the folder fondly.
Motherhood wasn't something Yunjin ever really considered. And while she guesses she should be terrified and itching to run as far as she could from this responsibility, she wasn't? She was excited. She loved Eunchae, and this would just make things permanent. She wouldn't have to worry about her case worker taking her away or something like that. She didn't have to be scared anymore.