(2/2)
tell them I was happy
and my heart is broken
They decided the race will not be resumed, the decision was made and you were kind of glad. It must have been the shortest race, with only two laps completed. Max won the Belgian Grand Prix. It was not possible to get the race going again.
The podium celebration did take place and you saw Max, George and Lewis celebrating on the screens.
It was already dark when you got back to the hotel, still raining. You all went to Carlos's room to hang out and everyone was on a weird mood. Charlotte and Charles were sitting on the couch next to the bed, you and Carlos were sitting on the bed, everyone was quiet, you decided to break the ice.
-Honestly I'm glad they suspended it. I care more about your well being than on what position you end.
-That's sweet. -Charles said.
-It's frustrating but it's better to be safe. -Carlos gave you a smile.
-Exactly. -you smiled back.
-We'll leave in 20. -Charles said kissing Charlotte and he left with Carlos to talk to the team.
You and Charlotte were sheltering from the rain, waiting for Carlos and Charles. She was also relieved that the race did not continue.
You were thinking about Lucía and Carlos, your mind was spinning. Why wasn't she here? Were they not together anymore? Was this your time to finally tell Carlos how you feel?
*start listening to impossible-james arthur*
-Hey, Char? -you said looking at her.
-What's up?
-Do you know if Carlos and Lucía are still together? -you felt embarassed.
-I think you should ask him. -she paused and sighed. -I heard him say something to Charles but I don't know what it was, I'm sorry.
-It's okay. -you faked a smiled.
-Are you ready? -Charles asked standing in front of us, Carlos next to him.
-Yeah. -you said and started to walk, you didn't mind getting wet from the rain.
You heard Carlos in the distance telling you to cover yourself with his umbrella but you didn't pay attention to him. You sat in the front and the others in the back, you were soaking wet.
You arrived to the hotel and everyone ran out of the car, except you, you walked to the entrance but didn't enter.
-Are you coming? -Charles asked.
-In a minute.
-Are you okay? -Carlos asked, he scared you, you thought everyone left.
-I don't know, Carlos, I'm just so tired of thinking and feeling.
-What's going on? -he asked taking a step closer to you.
-I'm sorry, I need to ask you, are you still with Lucía? -you were looking into his eyes.
-What?
-Are you still with her?
-I mean, kind of. -he finally said. -I didn't know I had to tell you.
-You didn't, it's okay.
-I wanted to, though. -he said, you looked at him. -I have all this feelings for you, I wanted to tell you because I care so much about you and I didn't know how to handle it, how to handle the situation. I didn't know if I was going to hurt you or if you would care.
-That's on me because I never talk about my feelings. -you laughed. -You know? I was going to tell you today that I love you and I want to be with you but no, scratch that, it doesn't matter anymore.
-You were? -he asked, his eyes were shinning.
-Not anymore, it doesn't matter now.
-But it does.
-No, Carlos, it's like the timing is always wrong and I'm tired of playing games, it's my fault for not telling you in Corsica, it's my fault for not telling you that night you stayed with me when Lucía got angry and now I get to live with that.
-I didn't say anything either. -he tried to grab your hand.
-If I had said something, if I had done something instead of trying to make you jealous with Pierre, maybe we'd be together but it seems like everything gets complicated all the time and now I'm done, I'll let you be, I'll set you free, it's the best thing to do.
-Y/n...please don't, I know sometimes it's complicated but we could figure it out.
-Everytime it's complicated, you're with Lucía and I won't step in the way. -you crossed your arms. -Falling out of love is hard but I need to try.
-Don't say that, I love you.
-I know you do but no.
-I'll break up with her, we could be together.
-Not like this. -you turned your back at him and started to walk inside, he pulled your arm, making you turn around to face him again. It was still raining, you were still soaking wet and he was now too.
-I don't love her. -he said pulling you closer to him. -She's just a distraction.
-A distraction from what, Carlos? -you asked. Your face was very close to his, so close it hurt.
-From you, from my feelings for you. -he removed your wet hair from your face and looked at you tenderly. -I just wanted to try and feel something, without you I feel numb, sedated, you're the only one keeping me awake.
-Don't say that. -you looked away.
-Why not? It is the truth. -he paused, he examined every inch of your face. -I guess I was just waiting for you to say something in order to tell you this.
-It's too late, I said it too late.
-It isn't! -he said desperately. Your heart was racing uncontrollably. You felt him slowly taking your hand until you intertwined them, you closed your eyes. -We can be together. -you opened your eyes, your eyes were locked. He pulled your hand abruptly, you put your hands on his chest, you were both breathing hard.
-What are you doing? -you asked looking at his eyes and then his lips, he ran his tongue over his lips.
-What I should've done a long time ago. -one of his hands was on your waist, with his free hand, he cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours. He kisses you gently at first and then, as he's reaching for something more, he pulls you closer to him as if there was still space between you.
-I don't -
-You're right, I shouldn't have, I'm sorry. -he let go of you and walked inside the hotel.
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ahhhh please be together stop this nonsense
a sad chapter I guess :(
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thank you for reading as always!!