Crown Prince pov
Eomamama—She might've been disappointed to see me squander my life the way I had been. She might've been puzzled to hear such sentiments. Still, I couldn't help but become the man I was turning into. Out of guilt, I'd come to accept these as the highs and lows of my journey, until, perhaps, I'd grow weary of them. It wasn't even guaranteed that fate would allow me to live long enough to truly care. After all, it never did for my mother.
She would've asked, "Are you happy? Have you found joy in your life?"
This past year, at least, all that came to a halt. I was neither happy nor sad. And with her not around to ask me, it only deepened the ache.
"I really need to stop overthinking," I muttered to myself, massaging my temples. I sighed, wandering later that evening. I tightened the royal robe around me as I exited my chamber.
The echo of my footsteps felt remote, and with each stride, the memory of the evening dimmed.
Turning a corner, I spotted Scholar Hyun-seok waiting for me. His brows raised slightly as he took in my somewhat disheveled appearance.
"Are you well?" he inquired, his voice laced with a hint of amusement.
I gave a brief nod. "Well enough, considering the circumstances," I replied, a trace of bitterness evident in my tone.
Scholar Hyun-seok chuckled. It was grounding to have him nearby, with his sharp intellect and witty disposition.
His presence offered a welcome respite from the constant pageantry and subterfuge of the palace. "Ah, another evening in the illustrious company of our esteemed court women?" he remarked with a hint of sarcasm.
I sighed, brushing my hair from my face. "It's not by choice, as you well know. But I can't say it's a task I often complain about either."
He scoffed and shook his head. "Are you boasting in front of an elder?" he teased, clicking his tongue in mock disapproval.
I shook my head, amused. As we began walking, lanterns cast flickering shadows along the corridors, the world outside punctuated only by the chorus of cicadas. "I sometimes wish I had more say in... well, many matters," I admitted.
He stopped walking for a moment, turning to look at me, his gaze searching my face. "You're the Crown Prince. You could have anyone you desired, and yet...?"
I raised my hand, interrupting him before he could continue, "I haven't found anyone..."
Hyun-seok tilted his head slightly, resting his chin on his hand thoughtfully, "Jeoha, Are you even looking?" He asked, eyes narrowing slightly in curiosity.
I exhaled deeply, diverting my gaze upwards, as if searching for answers in the palace ceilings.
After a brief moment, I glanced back at him, shaking my head, while absent-mindedly rubbing the back of my neck. "Honestly? With the weight of the crown, the court, the duties... where would I find the time?" I responded, a half-laugh escaping my lips.
Scholar Hyun-seok responded with a light tap on my shoulder, grinning, "In time, perhaps. Maybe when you're not so swamped with other matters."
I smiled wryly, using my hand to gesture broadly at the surroundings - the palace, the court, everything that was part of my daily life. "It's all so... structured here. I might complain now and then, but do I really want to toss in more complications?"
" There's always Lady M..." he began, however that was short lived.
He quickly shook his head, as he looked at me.
He responded with a knowing nod, theatrically placing a hand over his heart. "Ah, the weighty troubles of royalty," he remarked with playful sarcasm.
"Are you mocking me?" I retorted with a scoff.
He smiled, tipping his head in a light nod, "In some ways, Jeoha."
I didn't do much other than shake my head, as we continued towards the library, Hyun-seok, while adjusting the cuffs of his robe, casually mentioned Ji-Hye. "I happened upon Ji-Hye earlier," he began, mimicking her stance by placing one hand on his hip, and the other brushing back imaginary long hair, "Her gaze, to me, seemed a bit... condescending, maybe even taunting? Like she's privy to something the rest of us aren't."
I couldn't help but chuckle at his impression, as misguided as it might have been. It wasn't that he was off the mark; Ji-Hye certainly seemed full of herself, and it was evident to anyone who looked.
"In all seriousness," Hyun-seok said, following my gaze to where Ji-Hye strolled in the distance, her silhouette bathed in the soft moonlight, "that's the look of someone who believes they have control over their world, even if it might be an illusion."
I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to confirm what I already suspected. "You think she's one used to overstepping?"
Hyun-seok paused, taking a moment to pull his robe tighter against the evening chill, then he turned his gaze to mine, seemingly weighing his words. "She seems ambitious," he finally said, using his thumb and index finger to massage the bridge of his nose in thought. "That much is clear."
I leaned back slightly against a column, crossing my arms, waiting for more insight. "But does ambition mean overstepping, or simply playing the game?"
Hyun-seok smirked, the corner of his lips turning up in amusement. "The palace is a web, my Prince. One person's ambition is another's overstepping," he replied, making a seesaw motion with his hand to illustrate the balance.
Taking a deep breath, I ran a hand through my hair, letting it fall naturally. "It is what it is."
Hyun-seok nodded, gesturing in the direction Ji-Hye had gone. "Confidence, when wielded wisely, can be a formidable asset. But when misplaced..." He let the sentence hang, the implication clear.
"Do you have a preference in this palace, Hyun-seok?" I queried. "Or are you suggesting there aren't many women here worth one's trust?"
He scoffed lightly. "Preference is a strong word," he retorted.
Is he deflecting? Or perhaps he's too cautious to reveal any preferences, I thought looking in his direction.
After a brief pause, he added, "Regarding the availability of trustworthy women, well..." Hyun-seok gave a nonchalant shrug. "It's not my place to comment. But I will say this: many mistake fleeting advantage for genuine power."
I reflected on his words, finding truth in them.
"What do you think she's after?" I asked.
Hyun-seok considered for a moment. "Recognition, perhaps? A place of importance? Maybe even your heart?"
I scoffed as I shook my head, my arms behind my back.
"Come now, Hyun-seok," I replied, a smirk forming on my lips. "My heart is not so easily swayed, especially not by fleeting encounters."
Hyun-seok chuckled, "Indeed, Your Highness. I merely point out possibilities. The heart is unpredictable, after all.
I glanced over at him, the library's entrance now in sight. "It is not the unpredictability of the heart that concerns me but the intentions of those who seek it."
" Maybe we should make it a mission to find you someone." The scholar began as he patted my shoulder.
I chuckled, shaking my head and playfully shrugging off his hand. "And here I thought scholars like you stayed away from palace social affairs."
He smirked, pulling his hand back and wagging a finger at me. "We observe, Your Highness. Always observing, never directly involved."
I smirked in return. "Sounds like a safe stance."
Hyun-seok laughed softly, pushing his hair back. "In this palace? Safety is relative."
I nodded, very quickly we continued walking into the library, where I soon settled back and began looking through documents, as I did every night.
Authors POV
The first rays of morning sunlight began to pierce the horizon, casting a soft golden hue upon the sprawling palace grounds. Birds perched upon tiled roofs began their morning serenade, their melodies melting with the gentle song of leaves in the early breeze.
Inside one of the rooms, the traditional ondol heated floors radiated warmth, preserving the snug environment against the morning chill.
Upon these floors were beautifully woven mats made of straw. The mats, both utilitarian and artistic, showcased the craft and skill of the artisans who had painstakingly created them. Or at least for those that set eyes on them that was evident.
Neeria laid sprawled upon one of these mats, her thick raven-black of her tightly coiled hair was cascading out her twists fanning around her around her like a cloudy curtain. Even in the throes of slumber, there was a certain elegance to her form, a gesture of knowledge to the refined upbringing she had received. Her face was relaxed, the burdens of her station momentarily forgotten in dreams.
Some memories faded with time, but not this one. Even in the furthest reaches of her dreams, his voice echoed hauntingly clear. "You can't tell the king... If you truly love me, you can't tell the king." A sharp pain coursed through her, causing her to wince momentarily. The next instant, a wave of serenity washed over her, as if trying to soothe her agonizing heart, offering a fleeting respite from the weight of her secret. The dream subtly yet persistently reminded her of the duality of her reality—a reality she was often too overwhelmed to fully grasp.
But the moment to figure anything out was short-lived, broken by a gentle voice urging her back to consciousness. "Unnie, unnie," Uhn Yuhn's soft whisper came as she knelt beside Neeria, concern evident in her eyes.
Blinking away the remnants of her dream, Neeria's vision slowly adjusted to the early morning light. "Did something happen?" she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep, rubbing her eyes, sensing the moisture she might've shed during her dream.
Uhn Yuhn hesitated, her eyes searching Neeria's face, trying to discern the truth. "Unnie, were you... crying in your sleep?" she asked gently, pointing towards the wet streaks on Neeria's cheeks.
Neeria met Uhn Yuhn's gaze. Swiftly wiping away the lingering tears, she offered a weak smile, "Oh, are there still some?"
The young woman nodded, a hint of doubt clouding her expression.
"Just tears of joy from a beautiful dream," Neeria lied, trying to infuse her voice with as much conviction as she could muster.
Uhn Yuhn held her gaze for a long beat, then slowly nodded, choosing to believe her. "What a relief," she murmured, her concern replaced by a small smile. "We should get the day started. We're assigned to help with the washing today, and we might be late if we don't hurry. I'll come back for you after I'm ready."
Nodding in understanding, Neeria let out a sigh, her thoughts once again drifting to the confusion of her dreams. The answers she had come to this palace for, the relief she was desperately searching for. But now wasn't the time for reminiscing; she needed to be alert and present.
With a deep breath, she splashed her face with the cool water fetched from the palace's springs, feeling its invigorating touch pulling her into the day's duties. Each droplet reminding her of the purpose of her stay here, and the promise she intended to keep to herself. After the moment to herself, she dressed in a hanbok set out for the day, its flowing lines accentuating her figure.
Once dressed, she approached, a wooden box ornately decorated with mother of pearl. Gifted to her from... well it didn't matter, not now at least.
She accentuated her eyes with a slight touch of kohl, and brushed her lips with a shea butter.
Once she was complete, she meticulously styled her thick black hair, adorning it with golden jewels.
Now looking every bit her station, Neeria took a moment, standing with a regal poise to gather herself.
"Unnie," the young woman began, her eyes widening in surprise, her hands motioning at Neeria's appearance.
Neeria paused, tilting her head slightly and feeling her face with a hand, "Did I miss a spot? Is something on my face?"
"No, no," Uhn Yuhn replied, shaking her head emphatically, her eyes still wide with awe. "It's just... Maybe we were siblings in another life."
Neeria raised an eyebrow, her hand now resting on her hip, curious. "And why would that be?"
"Because you look... breathtaking. And well, I think I look pretty amazing too. It must be a family thing," Uhn Yuhn said, puffing her chest out with mock pride.
Neeria chuckled, shaking her head. "Don't overdo it with the compliments," she responded playfully, then glanced at the items in the young woman's hands. "What have you got there?"
"I've prepared some food for us today."
On closer inspection, it appeared to be rice accompanied by an assortment of seasoned vegetables.
Neeria's eyes sparkled with appreciation. "You thoughtful soul."
Uhn Yuhn's smile grew wider, her cheeks blushing a soft pink. "I thought we should at least eat well. And," she whispered, leaning in closer to share a secret, "I managed to get some fresh chestnuts. They're hidden at the bottom."
Neeria laughed softly, her eyes crinkling in amusement. "You truly are a gem, Uhn Yuhn." She reached out and affectionately squeezed her friend's hand.
With their arms linked, they stepped out into the corridors of the palace. The early morning serenity, characterized by soft golden hues. Everything was now slowly being overtaken by the sounds of palace activities as the day began to unfold.
Courtiers and scholars conversed in hushed tones, palace guards marched with precision, and servants scurried about performing their chores.
Today, Neeria's responsibilities involved overseeing the washing and maintenance of the royal family's garments. A seemingly mundane task, but in a palace where the state of one's clothing could send political and social messages, it was of utmost importance.
The vast washing area was already busy with activity when Neeria arrived. Large wooden basins were filled with garments, their colors bleeding into the water like liquid rainbows.
Maidservants, sleeves rolled up, hands reddened from the cold water and lye, scrubbed diligently. The air was filled with the scent of the natural soapberries used for cleaning, their gentle fragrance masking the underlying sweat and toil.
Neeria's keen eyes quickly assessed the scene, ensuring that everything was in order. Her stature as a court woman, while not the pinnacle of palace hierarchy, it afforded her respect and a certain degree of authority.
Midday approached swiftly, and with the sun at its zenith, Neeria and Uhn Yuhn sought a quiet corner of the palace gardens for their lunch. They sat beneath a blossoming cherry blossom tree, its petals fluttering down like gentle snowflakes.
As they opened their dosirak, the aroma of the seasoned vegetables mingled with the fresh air. The hidden chestnuts Uhn Yuhn had mentioned earlier added a delightful sweetness, contrasting with the savory flavors of the meal.
The two women settled on the soft grass, their lunch boxes spread out before them. Uhn Yuhn took a bite of her rice, her eyes searching the horizon for a moment before leaning closer to Neeria. "Unnie," she began in a low voice, "have you heard?"
Neeria raised an eyebrow, always intrigued by the tidbits of palace gossip Uhn Yuhn seemed to stumble upon. "Heard what?"
Uhn Yuhn took a deep breath. "Ji-hye returned this morning, and there are whispers... She had a radiant glow about her, as if she'd just been touched by the morning sun, or something like that. They're saying she spent the night in the Crown Prince's chambers with him. Like, together..."
Neeria paused, a piece of kimchi midway to her mouth. She placed it back in her dosirak and looked intently at Uhn Yuhn. "Is that so?" she chuckled. "Isn't that what happens after... you know?"
Uhn Yuhn's eyes widened in disbelief, her playful tone now replaced by seriousness. "Unnie, it's not a joke," she whispered urgently. "It's not about what they did... it's that they say he insisted she stay the night."
Neeria tilted her head slightly, pondering the information. "Is that unusual for the prince? I mean, wouldn't any kind-hearted person want someone to stay the night after spending such... intimate time with them?"
Uhn Yuhn shook her head. " Not here."
Neeria raised a brow, her interest piqued further. She closed her dosirak and leaned back against the cherry blossom tree, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. "This palace is full of surprises."
Uhn Yuhn fidgeted with her chopsticks, her gaze intense. "What if she makes him fall for her? Can you imagine Ji-hye in such a position?"
Neeria smirked, "Well, good for her if she does."
"But can you imagine? Her becoming a concubine, or even... the crown princess?"
Neeria chuckled, though her voice held a note of caution. "Let's not give the gods ideas.."
Uhn Yuhn softly just chuckled in response.
Soon, the afternoon sun painted the garden once again in a warm, golden hue. The two women sat in companionable silence for a few moments, enjoying the tranquility of the gardens - a rare respite from their otherwise hectic palace lives.
After a deep sigh, Uhn Yuhn looked at Neeria, her eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and concern. "Unnie, do you ever think about your place here? In the palace, I mean."
Neeria thoughtfully chewed on a piece of radish, taking a moment before answering. "Every day, Uhn Yuhn."
Uhn Yuhn tilted her head, studying her friend closely. "Do you ever... regret coming here?"
Neeria's gaze wandered to the palace walls, which loomed in the distance. "Regret is a strong word. I've had moments of doubt, sure. But I believe I'm here for a reason."
Regardless, it's not like I'll be here forever, she thought silently to herself.
Uhn Yuhn nodded slowly, absorbing Neeria's words. "I admire your strength, Unnie."
Neeria offered a reassuring smile. "I'm sure things will stabilize for us in time."
The distant sound of a gong signaled the afternoon's tasks were about to begin. The two women reluctantly packed up their belongings, sharing one last glance before heading back to their respective duties.
As Neeria moved gracefully through the palace corridors, adorned with intricate traditional artwork, she was halted by a palace messenger. "You," he began, extending a small, sealed note towards her. "You've been requested to serve tea in the library. The kitchen staff will provide you with the necessary items."
Acknowledging with a nod, Neeria then made her way to the kitchen, procuring a delicately crafted tray bearing a fine tea set. She proceeded to the library.
Upon pushing open the heavy wooden door, she was greeted by the unmistakable aroma of aged books, a mingling of old parchment and ink, reminding her of the vast chronicles of history and poetry that lay within.
The tall wooden bookshelves stood imposingly, their deep shades contrasting with the fragile paper scrolls they protected.
As Neeria approached the entrance, a court lady awaited her. Following palace etiquette, Neeria extended the tray with both hands, her head tilted downwards in deference.
"The tea is still quite warm," she said.
The court lady, attempting to maintain her composure but still noticeably surprised by Neeria's appearance, responded, "Ah, yes... You needn't stay. The Crown Prince can be... stubborn at times." She then added with sincerity, "Thank you for your diligent work."
With a bow, Neeria replied, "I shall take my leave."
As Neeria prepared to leave, her gaze unintentionally drifted to a secluded corner where a man sat deeply engrossed in a historical scroll. The soft sunlight streamed in through the window, casting a warm glow on his refined features. While she couldn't see his face in its entirety, what she could discern hinted at an undeniable handsomeness: lips poised in concentration. His raven-black hair was pulled back neatly, showcasing broad shoulders. The grace and elegance of his posture, even from this vantage point, hinted strongly at royal lineage, possibly that of the revered Crown Prince.
Before their eyes could meet, she discreetly averted her gaze, choosing to maintain decorum. As she continued on her way, the distinct and familiar voice of another man echoed through the corridor. Although she only glimpsed his retreating back, the commanding undertone in his voice couldn't be ignored. An involuntary quickening of her pace found her gravitating towards his direction.
Neeria's steps momentarily hesitated as the recognizable visage of Ji-hye appeared from afar. Their eyes met briefly. Ji-hye, lifting her chin ever so slightly, continued on, her acknowledgement manifesting in the form of a fleeting nod.
Back in the library, the Crown Prince took a contemplative sip from his teacup, allowing the warmth and intricate flavors to linger on his palate. Setting the cup aside with precision, he shifted his attention to the scholar adjacent to him, his facial expressions a vault of composure.
"Ji-hye was asked to leave earlier this morning. She volunteered to bring you tea, but the staff asked another—someone else," the scholar began with a chuckle, adding, "Now, she's seen wandering the grounds."
"She came here?" The Crown Prince queried, a subtle arch in his eyebrow.
A brief silence ensued as the Crown Prince seemingly lost interest, his gaze wandering.
"Rumors act as the palace's secondary currency, Jeoha." the scholar began, choosing his words with precision. "The talk is that you invited her to spend the night with you.. again."
The Crown Prince scoffed, leaning back against the plush cushions in the library's reading area. He propped his chin on his thumb, his elbow resting on his thigh. With a casual flow, he skimmed through a nearby scroll. "Such trivialities are beneath my concern," he remarked, his tone dismissive.
Unfazed, the scholar persisted. "Your Highness, wouldn't it be prudent to address these rumors? To clarify matters for the court?"
The Crown Prince looked up, his gaze sharp, yet oddly neutral "Why should I? Every move within these walls serves a purpose. Ji-hye, or any other, they all play their part. As for the rumors... let them talk. In the end, everyone got what they wanted from our arrangements."
The scholar frowned slightly, sensing the layers beneath the Crown Prince's words. "So, you don't care about your reputation?"
The Crown Prince's eyes returned to the scroll in front of him. "Was there much to my reputation to begin with?" He chuckled.
He rubbed his head trying to slowly massage it. " Anyways you said she didn't sleep in the chamber?" The scholar nodded.
" Very well," The crown prince added, he looked over seeing the shadow of a woman pass by, before returning his attention the scholar besides him.
The Crown Prince leaned forward, resting his elbows on the carved wooden table in front of him. The light of the library, punctuated only by the flicker of a few rays of sunlight, casted deep shadows of the scroll patterns on the walls.
Rubbing his temples, he remarked, "It's all so tiresome."
Hyun-seok looked at the young prince with understanding.
" Jeoha, such is the natures are expected, I simply say it to let you know. One thing remained clear in my thirty years of service to the palace. The weight of the crown is a large one."
Crown Prince Yi San met his gaze, "But should it be? I often wonder if there's a way to lead without all these games."
Hyun-seok, replied thoughtfully, "True leadership, Your Highness, is not about avoiding the game but mastering it. And using it to serve the greater good."
The Crown Prince pondered this for a moment. "Perhaps you're right," he sighed.
A silence settled between the two, broken only by the distant sound of subtle movement. The Crown Prince's thoughts wandered to the woman he had glimpsed earlier that day. Her grace and beauty were evident, even in that fleeting moment. He thought he had seen her before, unsure where he returned to his reading.
Hyun-seok, ever observant, noted the change in the prince's demeanor. "Your Highness, if I may be so bold... Your thoughts seem distant lately."
The prince offered a small smile, "No, just my curiosity getting the better of me."
Hyun-seok chuckled, as he replied thoughtfully, "Your Highness, the palace is full of many faces. If there's one you're curious about..." He trailed off, as if reading the prince's mind.
The prince gave a thoughtful nod, allowing himself to entertain the thought for a brief moment. "For now, let's focus on the task at hand. The treaty with the neighboring kingdom requires our attention."
Hyun-seok nodded in agreement, retrieving a set of scrolls as they delved into the day's agenda.
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