Smut ahead!!
Enjoy reading <3
//
Evelyn Jones
I placed the bouquet of daisy down, reading the name again and again like I did every year since I was 19.
It's still difficult for me to believe she's not here.
Rereading her name to make sure I actually come to meet her and not someone else. To make sure it's actually her name.
Sometimes I read it over so many times I forget how long I've been standing there, staring down at the name. Wishing the letters will start moving on it's own and start arranging itself to make a different name, making me realise it's not her down there.
But it remains the same every time I visit.
Camilla Jones.
My mom.
It's been 5 years today and I still can't accept the fact that she isn't walking on earth.
My eyes start burning with tears and I make no attempts to stop it. They turn blurry and one tear escapes and slides down my cheek. Then another. And another.
They just won't stop.
Everything came rushing back.
Everytime she saved me from dad. All the extra hours she worked so I had nothing less than the other kids at school. All the tiny cakes she bought me on my birthdays, hiding them from my father. All the meals she skipped so I could have 3 a day. Fulfilling all of my tantrums for a new toy.
I loved her so much.
So fucking much, it hurts.
I wiped my wet chin and cheeks, trying to control my sobbing.
A soft breeze caressed my hair and face. I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath.
I just hope she's in a better place, enjoying her afterlife in a beautiful garden filled with daisies. If there's an afterlife that is.
There were a few other people in the cemetery. Grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Suddenly a thought crossed my mind. How many of them died on the same day as my mom? How many of them shared the dreaded day with me? Crying their eyes out the same day as me?
I stared outside the bus, thinking about my mother. August 21 is the same every year. The whole day I feel like doing nothing but stay in bed, curled up in my blanket.
My stop arrived and I got off. After a few minutes of walking, my apartment building came into vision.
And so did something else...
As if coming out of a trance, my head snapped at my mobile screen.
5:28 pm.
How the fuck was it evening already?
I reached Kayden's car. He was leaning against the driver's side door. I made my way around the car, "I'm sorry. I'll be down in a few." I said as I entered my apartment building.
"Where the fuck were you when you know I'll be here?" He said in his usual angry voice.
I turned around, "I'm sorry. I lost track of time."
His angry furrowed eyebrows relaxed just an inch as he looked at me. I knew my eyes were puffy and red from all the crying and I'm too exhausted to give two fucks to hide it.
Kayden didn't say anything further and I walked to my apartment.
The car ride was silent as usual. It's been 2 weeks since I found Kayden high in his house. I stayed the night and left early in the morning. He was still sleeping when I left.
I'll be lying if I said I didn't check if he was alive and breathing throughout the night.
I was completely sure he wouldn't come to pick me up the next day but was surprised when I got no text from him saying he won't be coming.
He was quiter than usual that day but returned to his usual dicky behaviour in no time.
We went back to our usual routine where we fought and fucked. But he had decreased his complaining and whining a tab bit after that day.
He didn't talk about that night and neither did I. Though I wanted to ask him one question.
Just get it over with. I've waited long enough
His words still played in my head like a broken record. Why did he said that?
I don't think we'll ever talk about that night so...
I guess we'll never know.
___
The night wasn't as busy and I wished it was Saturday. Usually work kept me distracted but there weren't many people at the bar tonight.
Tonight, a certain pair of eyes did the job though. He had company of two other girls. But it wasn't the usual lustful look. It felt like he was trying to figure out something.
My head kept drifting towards the memories of my mother and my throat tightened everytime.
I didn't let it show though. I was good at it.
I served everyone their drinks with a cheerful smile on my face. There were a few times the tears threatened to spill out but I didn't let them.
My throat hurt from keeping everything in for the past 7 hours.
I was greatful when my shift finally got over and I didn't have to forcefully smile anymore. I can't wait to be in bed.
I was the only one in the staffroom when the door to it opened. I didn't turn around knowing it's Maya.
She was one of the few women who was here after we were closed to help clean. She came in here frequently to clean.
"Do you wanna get fucked so hard you forget whatever is bothering that pretty little head of yours, Lyn baby?"
I jumped when I heard Kayden's voice near my ear. His voice deep with lust and a hint of something I couldn't quite point out.
I didn't even feel anybody standing right behind me.
Maybe I wasn't doing a really job at hiding my sadness if he was able to make out something was up with me tonight.
His voice made me kick my plans of being curled in my blanket in my bed out of the fucking window.
Got a better way to distract my head.
A small voice inside me suggested to call Candice and Ron like every year to talk to them rather than getting your back blown out and just get a temporary distraction.
But I realised I wasn't feeling like talking this year.
I was feeling like getting fucked.
I nodded my head, already feeling the wetness between my legs. He was the only man who made my body buzz with lust by just his presence or voice.
It was scaryly arousing.
Not that I'm complaining.
Kayden's hand lifted up my skirt and went between my legs.
I could feel his hard dick pressed against my lower back. His hand went to my opening. Gathering my arousal, he spread it on my clit.
I let out a gasp when he flicked my clit with his middle finger a few time and then massaged it.
"Do you wanna get touched here? You like it when I flick your soft wet clit with my finger?"
"Yes."
At this Kayden removed his hands from my thong and I whimpered in protest.
Then he spanked my ass so hard I would've almost screamed in surprise, pain and pleasure if he hadn't clamped his hand on my mouth.
"We aren't in the private room baby. We don't want anyone to hear your beautiful screams, right?"
Another hard slap.
"Or does my little slut wants everyone in the building to know she's getting fucked? To listen to her screams and moans of pleasure as I make her come hard?"
I whimpered against his hand at the sting the spank left behind. His hand gently rubbed the area.
I felt him slide my thong to the side and heard the zipper of his jeans go down. He rubbed the tip of his dick at my entrance.
He pressed on my back until my back arched and chest was pressed against the locker. "Open your legs wider for me baby."
And I did.
He rubbed his dick on my pussy again. His tip sliding from the end of my entrance to my clit and back.
"Always so wet for me. Ready to be pounded by my dick like my personal fuck toy."
He slammed inside me without a warning and I braced myself with my hands against the locker.
He kept slamming inside me until tears gathered in my eyes.
Holy fuck.
I was a moaning mess. His hand wrapped around my hair and pulled at it till I was looking at the ceiling.
I felt his hot breath near my ear. "No tienes idea de lo jodidamente buena que te sientes." He whispered in my ear. His voice dripping with lust.
I didn't understand a fucking thing.
The sound of his moaning and grunting, and the sensation of him slamming into me made my eyes roll in pleasure.
Goosebumps started rising on my skin as I felt my orgasm building up.
"I love your pussy so fucking much. Love the way it clenches my dick like it wants to suck my life right out of it."
I was pushed into another universe after a few thrusts. My eyes rolled so back into my head I was surprised I didn't see my fucking brain.
Kayden kept thrusting in me untill he came as well. I was still feeling the aftershocks of my orgasm when Kayden rested his forehead against the back of my head.
I froze. Not knowing what to do.
It was something a couple would do.
We weren't a couple.
It gave me a glimpse of the Kayden I saw in the washroom that day. Rubbing my back while helping me regulate my breathing.
He was breathing harshly against the nape of my neck, still coming down from his high. After a good minute, he too, froze. Just now learning what he was doing.
He quickly stepped back and cold air filled his missing heat. I turned around at the same time he was pulling his zipper up.
"I'll be in the car outside." He said as he ran his fingers through his hair and walked out of the room. Never looking at me. I notice how he didn't bark an order at me to be outside in five minutes or so.
After cleaning myself and changing my clothes, I stepped outside. Kayden was leaned against the back of the car, smoking a cigarette as he glared a hole into the ground.
I walked towards his car, feeling sore between my legs. I sat in the passenger seat and Kayden entered a minute later. Now chewing a gum.
The ride to the apartment was silent. But it wasn't the normal kind of silent where we sometimes sat in silence comfortably.
I always had something to talk about even though he wouldn't answer or I guess didn't even listen most of the time.
But today, even I couldn't open my always running mouth. Like there was something dangerous brewing in the air between us.
Even though it wasn't a very intimate gesture, but for some reason, it felt like it had stirred something that was suppose to be dormant.
//
<3