~Akaashi~
They weren't figuring it out.
The most Bokuto had done was acknowledge that something was going on and that he wasn't okay.
But that's it.
He still pushed Akaashi away. Denied any help he offered. Brushed off his worried questions. And it was fucking infuriating.
"I honestly don't even know what to do at this point." Oikawa and Suga give him a sympathetic look.
"He really didn't say anything last night?" Akaashi sighs and looks down at the tea he had in his hand: Suga had made some the second he walked in the door. His stress and anxiety very obvious.
"No. The most he did was stop claiming he was fine. Which I guess is progress but still I doubt that will last." Oikawa frowns. "At this rate, I may not be at the sleepover.
"That's okay, you know? Everyone would understand. This takes priority over some dumb sleepover." Akaashi gives Suga a grateful smile.
"Thanks. I mean maybe things will be resolved tonight? I'm going to pick him up from practice and plan to talk with his teammates. Maybe they know something."
"Do you think whatever's going on is related to volleyball?" Akaashi shrugs.
"I mean last night he was like a half an hour late. It's not unusual for him to be a little late but half an hour is pretty long. He also just has seemed exhausted. I mean practice is a place to start." Suga gently rubs his back while Oikawa gives a sympathetic smile.
"Hey, you know what you need?" Suga comments from his side, drawing their eyes. "Let's go to the rink."
"We don't have practice."
"So?" Akaashi shrugs to that. "It will do you some good, especially since the hockey team won't be there." Oikawa pouts a little which makes Suga laugh. "You'll see him tomorrow bitch now come on, let's grab your shit and get going." Akaashi sighs and smiles.
This will be good for them. Right?
~~~
Akaashi panted, out of breath as he leaned over his knees.
He'd maybe been pushing himself a little harder than he should have, but he needed a distraction from the gnawing anxiety buried deep in his chest.
Except he couldn't shake the fear. The stress. The worry. So he kept pushing. More and more praying the sharp sound of ice against the cold metal blades would be enough to drown out his thoughts.
It wasn't though.
"You good Keiji?" Suga skids to a stop in front of him, also a little out of breath but nowhere close to Akaashi.
Akaashi doesn't even have the breath to answer. Just gives a thumbs up before forcing himself to stand straight, trying to take deep breaths which is proving to be difficult due to the chilled air clinging to their bodies and filling their lungs.
"We've been going at it for a while, maybe we should take a break?" Suga suggests sweetly but Akaashi shakes his head. Stopping means thinking. Worrying. Instead, he takes another deep breath, trying to slow his heart.
"What time is it?" He asks and Suga turns around to face Oikawa who is at the other end of the rink, leaning against the wall typing away on his phone.
"Tōru! Time!" Suga shouts and Oikawa looks up.
"4:23!" Akaashi groans and Suga turns back to him.
"You can't practice until Bokuto's practice is over." Akaashi knows that. But still...
"I can try." Before Suga can protest, Akaashi skates off, taking time to breathe and focus on the moment. On the ice.
His legs are burning so he doesn't try any jumps. He knows better than to push himself like that, they have a competition soon so hurting himself isn't an option. Even if a part of him wants to take that risk. He knows better.
So instead he just skates. Faster and faster around the rink, gliding and feeling the chilled wind hit his face, making his nose cold and breaths get shallower. It doesn't stop him. He does a turn here and there, never leaving the ice, usually just turning so he's skating backward.
He takes a moment as he's moving to just let his momentum guide him, eyes falling shut and mind focusing on the feeling of cold air, the sound of metal and ice, the pound in his chest. It's almost enough to make him forget.
Almost.
It's another hour later before Suga and Oikawa force him off the ice and onto the bleachers. "I—said—I—was—fine," Akaashi says between pants and Oikawa and Suga give him a look.
"Considering you could barely say that I'm thinking you're not." Akaashi rolls his eyes but accepts the water Oikawa offers him, trying not to chug it so he doesn't feel sick.
"What time is it?" He asks still completely out of breath as he takes sips of water.
"The more you obsess over the time, the slower it will feel," Suga mentions and Akaashi doesn't have the breath to argue. "We know you're worried but you need to be in a more relaxed state if you're going to confront him and figure out what's going on." Akaashi sighs, finally taking some deep breaths. He knows they are right. He hates it, but knows it's true.
He just hates feeling like this. Want's this all to be something small and stupid and be over quickly. He knows that's not the case, Bokuto would have talked to him otherwise.
"I know...I just want this to be over is all." Suga places a gentle hand on Akaashi's shoulder and smiles.
"We know and we will still help distract you." Akaashi nods and gives a small smile.
"We can head back to your house and get dinner and watch a movie or something while we wait for his practice." Akaashi nods and stands up.
"Sounds good." They share a smile before heading to the locker rooms to change and head out.
~~~
The dinner and movie were a great idea and really did help the time go by faster. Too fast, Akaashi now thinks as he is anxiously sitting in Bokuto's truck parked outside the gym, debating if he should go in now or wait.
Practice has been over for about 10 minutes and he knows half the team is still there. At this point, he's just putting off the inevitable. He's scared.
But he is also worried so with a deep breath he forces himself out of the car and toward the gym doors that are still mostly open. He can hear the sounds of a volleyball being spiked as he peaks his head into the gym. Right in time to see Bokuto deliver an impressively strong spike to their libero who fails to save it.
He seems perfectly fine. Maybe a little tired but besides that...he doesn't notice anything different at first glance. "Hey Akaashi!" Akaashi looks up as one of Bokuto's teammates walks over with a smile. Akaashi returns it and fully steps into the gym.
"Hi, Konoha. How are you?"
"Pretty good! You here to pick up Bokuto?" Akaashi gives a little nod.
"Yes, but I also wanted to ask you something." Konoha seems a little surprised but keeps his friendly smile.
"Alright, what's up?" Akaashi gives Bokuto a small glance, watching him spike another ball. Even if Bokuto hasn't given any indication he's aware of Akaashi's presence, he knows he's there. He has too.
"He's just been a little off so I wanted to ask if everything had been going well with practice and stuff." Konoha looks surprised again and glances at Bokuto.
"I mean yeah besides his knee everything has been normal." Akaashi gives Konoha a confused look.
"His knee?"
"Yeah. We've been trying to get him to chill since he's overworking it and it's been bothering him but he just refuses." Akaashi looks at Bokuto again and this time really looks. "I figured you knew about that." Akaashi frowns when he notices the slight limp in Bokuto's steps. And he grows more worried when he sees Bokuto actually wince when landing on it.
Bokuto doesn't stop practicing though.
Akaashi is walking over there in a matter of seconds, reaching Bokuto before he has a chance to spike another ball. "Kou." He says to get the boy's attention but also steps in front of him, forcing Bokuto to look at him. "What happened to your knee." Akaashi shows concern in his voice as he tries to read Bokuto's expression.
"Nothing, I'm fine." He tries to brush him off and takes a step back to do another spike but Akaashi grabs his arm to stop him.
"You're limping." He points out and he can see Bokuto let out a frustrated sigh as he shakes Akaashi's hand off him.
"Leave it alone Keiji." Akaashi is honestly a little shocked. For one Bokuto is actually ignoring his own health but also from the anger in his eyes. He's mad.
"What? No you're hurt and you need to stop practicing before it gets worse." Bokuto rolls his eyes and steps back again.
"I said I'm fine." Before Akaashi can say anything else Bokuto throws the ball up and goes to spike it. It's flawless and powerful like always but none of that matters when Bokuto's face scrunches in pain as he lands back down on his leg. He watches Bokuto take a deep breath and then put the weight on his knee. He can tell it still hurts but he ignores it and reaches for another ball.
"Don't serve another ball, Kou," Akaashi demands, grabbing the ball from him and sending it rolling to the sidelines.
"Akaashi—" Bokuto goes to protest but Akaashi isn't having it.
"Bokuto sit down before you hurt yourself more." Akaashi takes a couple steps toward him but Bokuto puts a hand up to stop him from coming closer.
"Back off, okay?"Akaashi just feels confused.
"I'm not going to back off if you plan to continue hurting yourself." Bokuto scoffs and gives Akaashi an annoyed and unimpressed look.
"Akaashi, seriously I'm not in the mood." He tries to walk past him, likely to grab a ball but Akaashi quickly stops him, grabbing his arm and pulling him back lightly.
"Bokuto. Sit down." He gently places a hand on the boy's shoulder, hoping to guide him over to the bench but Bokuto just shakes his head and tries to push him away.
"No." Now Akaashi's getting mad, keeping his grip hard so Bokuto can't walk away or push him away.
"Kou, I'm serious. You need to sit down before this gets worse." Bokuto glares at him.
"I said I'm fine."
"Stop lying to me and just sit down for one second!"
"Akaashi let go,"
"Not until you sit down and stop hurting yourself."
"Keiji stop."
"Sit down Kōtarō." He says harshly and feels Bokuto gets more frustrated.
"Leave me alone—"
"No!"
"Keiji—"
"I am not going to leave you alone when you're hurting—"
"Keiji—"
"Sit down Kou—"
"I said leave me alone!"
"No! I care about you so I'm not going to leave you alone when you are not okay!"
"I said I was fine!"
"But you aren't!"
"Just leave me alone!" Everything goes quiet and still.
Akaashi admits, using force probably wasn't the right thing to do. He probably should have given the boy space, even if he wasn't listening and even if he was worried. He should have given him space physically. Talked it out. Made compromises.
But he didn't.
So now here he was, being pushed away with enough force he fell to the ground, wincing at the impact, heart stopping. Everything stopping.
He looked up at Bokuto who looked extremely frustrated, eyes closed and hands running through his hair as he tried to calm down a little.
Akaashi didn't really know what to do so he just stayed where he was, watching Bokuto calm down as he tries to actually register the fact that Bokuto had pushed him to the ground.
It...scared him...a little.
And the fact that it scared him scared him even more, heart getting caught in his throat.
He watches closely as Bokuto takes a deep breath and finally looks at him. And he could see the guilt and regret instantly fill his eyes as their gazes met. He could see Bokuto's heart drop and eyes widen as he watches Akaashi slowly push himself off the floor and to his feet.
He didn't really know how to feel right now.
"Keiji—" Bokuto took a step toward him and instinctively Akaashi stepped back. He hated that he did and he could see Bokuto's heart break a little as he did so. But he couldn't help it.
Bokuto backed off, looking at Akaashi, ashamed, and clearly decided it was best not to make the first move.
So Akaashi took a deep breath, glancing around where he saw the few teammates that stayed watching them both carefully. Akaashi turned to Konoha.
"Will you guys help Bokuto to the car?" Konoha nods and he and another teammate walk over. Akaashi meets Bokuto's gaze once more before he turns and walks to grab Bokuto's stuff and follows them to the car.
_________________________________
Lol uhh so...sorry for like dying for like 4 months lol.
I like ran out of motivation for this which sucked but tonight I got a comment from someone on A03 which suddenly gave me motivation I guess lol. So like honestly shout out to OrangeV6 on A03 for the random comment that gave me motivation 😂😂
So at midnight I legit sat down with a face mask on and wrote!
And left yall with a cliff hanger but dont worry the next chapter is already written and finished which I'll post like tomorrow or something.
Again so sorry for leaving, hope ya enjoyed. Love that I left for 4 months and return just to give you guys angst.
If you like my writing style and want a better written and more regularly updated story go check out my story It All Started In Detention. I swear I'm not abandoning this story. Just feel free to read that :)
But next chapter will come soon, again it's already written so dont worry and I hope y'all are doing okay!!
2382 words
-Kiri