The desire to be independent.
A wish that I could stand on my own two feet.
And the reality that I always had someone I leaned on.
...
"Absolutely not, Cecilia."
"Papa, please! (Y/N) is leaving, and Ruby is alone!"
"I don't give a damn about the girl! If you're going to leave, at least be honest about the reason."
"It's...!"
My words are caught in my throat.
"If I don't get up and finally take action, I won't be able to forgive myself."
"You have zero obligation to-"
"Stop telling me what I can and can't do! All these years, you've been sheltering me. The fact that you let me learn to be a huntress wasn't even so I could follow my passion or meet up with my own brother! It's because you wanted me to know self-defense."
"... That isn't true, Cecilia."
"Now who isn't being honest with themselves...?"
"Cecilia. After the fall of Beacon... It just wouldn't sit right with me to leave you alone..."
"I'm not alone. I wasn't alone. Until you took me from my best friend."
He stops speaking.
"Goodbye, papa... I love you..."
Without waiting to hear a response, I grab my pre-packed bags and rush out the door. I have an airship to catch.
...
.........
"Stoooooop...! You're both so mean!"
"Glad to know you've been bullying her in my place. Excellent work, sis."
I can't help but smile.
"Her reactions are priceless."
"Right?"
"Meanies!"
He wraps an arm around his girlfriend, and...
My stomach sinks.
"... PDA."
"Ah..."
The two pull their lips away from each other, and I look away.
Third-wheeling is awful.
"Hey..."
Ruby speaks up.
"What's that?"
We both look in the same direction as her.
We had been seated at a cafe, having lunch. In the distance, 4 gates had opened up, all alongside one of the mountain faces.
3 were the usual blue color, but...
"What the hell does a red gate mean?"
(Y/N), who has spent the last 2 years doing nothing but shutting these gates becomes extremely concerned at the change in color.
We have to do something about this.
Despite none of us speaking, we all silently agree the date can wait. The three of us rush to the mountain face.
"I'll have my strongest soldiers, as well as a handful of underlings split between two gates. I'm getting the red one, and if you two can handle one together, I'd appreciate it."
"Yessir."
I give him a quick salute, earning a chuckle from him.
"Ready to show the fruits of our efforts, Petals?"
"Petals?"
"Workshopping a nickname for you. Because of your last name."
"Hm... It's unique!"
"Just say you don't like it."
"N-no! It's cute! Really!"
I grab the girl by her wrist.
"Gimme a joyride."
Ruby activates her semblance, quickly launching us toward a gate. The joyride ends a little ways before we reach said gate, but as we get close, I notice (Y/N)'s shadows moving from one to another.
They're supposed to be split in two...
"Hey, Ruby... Go inside and get a feel for the place. I need to check this one real quick. I'll be right behind you!"
Ruby glances over at my target, but nods.
"Okay. Be quick and safe!"
"Yes ma'am!"
I give her a salute as well, rushing toward the ignored portal.
"... Papa?"
"Oh...! Cecilia."
"What are you doing here?"
"I am a part of a squad created for portal tracking and subjugation."
"... In Mistral?"
"I..."
He sighs.
"I wanted to keep an eye on you without directly interfering..."
"What?! Stop coddling me! Let me finally- ugh, there's no time for this!"
"You are correct. My squad and I will handle this gate. I encouraged the strongest of the shadow soldiers to help their comrades in the other gate."
"... Okay. Good luck."
"I'd like to say a lot of things to you after this, Cecilia. I have apologies to give."
"... Okay."
I turn away.
"Good luck."
Repeating what I said before, I race back to my originally assigned gate.
Ruby is talented, but I don't want her alone. Even a shadow soldier within each of us cannot guarantee our safety.
The blue of the gate's entrance washes over me like a wave of energy. And when my vision adjusts, I see Ruby kicking Orc butt.
Not Grimm... Strange times we live in.
"Save some for me!!"
I join the fight.
...
.........
"KYAH!"
Ruby slashes the head off of the Orc Lord that had been keeping us busy.
"Hey! You girls good?"
(Y/N) is here.
"Yup! Just finished the guy!"
Ruby puts a foot on the corpse triumphantly.
"You beat the red gate?"
"Oh yeah. It almost took a day, but apparently time flowed way slower out here. Which is actually good for me."
"Dang, really?"
"Glad you two are safe, though."
"The other two gates?"
"My soldiers had no issue, and the few with the subjugation squad dissipated once the boss was defeated."
"Good."
So papa lived.
I guess I have dinner and an uncomfortable conversation to have...
"You two as starving as I am?"
"Oh, yeah! You were there for so long... Bet you're starving."
"... A tad."
"You two go on a date, I have something that came up."
"Oh... You sure?"
(Y/N) seems surprised. I had been so insistent about us catching up, so me disappearing goes against that sentiment.
"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll eat something, don't worry!"
"Alright. Well, stay safe."
"You both as well. Don't get too comfortable."
"Shush...!"
He puts a finger to my lips to hush me up, so I smile.
...
.........
"Um... Excuse me... Does the subjugation squad have a specific time they're off duty?"
"Oh... Um..."
The receptionist looks uncomfortable.
He looks at me with concern.
"N-normally they do, yeah..."
"... Normally? Is that different because of today's gates?"
"... Normally they would have been back and off by now... Swapping shifts to a night watch."
"... And they haven't because?"
"They never.... Returned...."
...
Fuck.
...
.........
"It was right here... Right here...!"
I kick at the ground where I last saw my father.
"What the hell...? You said you had something to say..."
I hear a gunshot.
I immediately head in the direction of the sound. It might just be some hunter fighting a Grimm or leftover beast...
"Ha... You came..."
The claw of an insect-like creature stabs straight through the stomach of my father. To the ground beneath him. He's only still alive because the claw has not been removed... He would have bled to death by this point had it not been for that.
How long has he been in agony?
How...
Stop!
I rush to his side.
"What happened?!"
"Cici... I'm..."
He quickly exhales, attempting to ignore any pain he feels.
"I am greatly sorry. I followed you despite your-" he winces.
"Your desires... My concern for your safety resulted in... Hurting your feelings..."
"Shut up about that, fuck my feelings... Stay strong..."
"I've always been so scared... Of what would happen to you..."
"Stop..."
"You were taken from me without my knowing... When I learned I had a daughter..."
He looks at me.
"I was so happy..."
I can't hold back the tears at this point.
"... GET (Y/N) HERE!!! SHADOW SOLDIER, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!"
"..."
Nothing happens.
"Cecilia... The shadow soldier sees nothing... Get out of here now."
His tone changes drastically.
"What? You're coming with me."
"She's still here. Get out! Her illusion could get you killed!"
"Her...? What are you saying...?!"
"Emerald."
He grabs his battle-axe and slams it onto the ground, using earth dust to cause a great tremor. The claw stabbed through him moves immensely, and his body begins to lose any life it had left.
"PAPA!!!"
"... Run."
I'm supposed to be stronger.
Strong enough to save people. To go against what I'm told to do.
My father says to run.
I don't have to listen to him anymore.
...
So why?
Why am I here?
My immense gasping is all that breaks the silence of the dorm hall.
This is a shitty dream... I'd like to wake up soon.
Room 357. My and Ruby's dorm.
I reach for the handle.
"Can we... Kiss more?"
Ruby's innocent requests.
"... I'd like that."
And...
...
I grip my hand.
My nails start digging into my skin.
Ruby.
...
.........
"C-cecilia?"
"Hey."
"You're... Where are you going?"
"I left my dad. I wanna become a professional with you."
"Same school?"
"Well... I figure if (Y/N) shows up for one of us, the other can be there, too...!"
"Heh... Okay! I wanted to get to know you better, anyways."
I glance up and down at the girl in front of me.
She is...
...
So cute.
...
.........
"Stop! Just stop!"
I interrupt their moment by practically kicking the door down.
"Cecilia... What's wrong?"
"Why the hell don't you know what's wrong?!"
"Hey... There's no need for the tone-"
"Don't give me that shit!"
When did I become so filled with rage?
Have I ever been this mad at someone before?
Who am I even mad at?
"Hey... The language is-"
"Ruby, I love you very much, but I cannot handle that right now."
I look away from the girl.
"After all this time you were gone. After I had finally stood by myself..."
I bite my lip.
"I realize I was deluding myself."
"... What happened?"
"YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW!"
His face contorts to one of sadness, but also immense worry.
"My father dies, and I can't even use that as an excuse to get cuddly with my Ruby."
"..."
His face changes to one of realization.
"I've relied on you. On papa. On Ruby. But the only one that put all of his time into me is gone now."
"... Cici..."
Ruby calls to me, her eyes tearing up immensely.
"... Why didn't papa have a shadow soldier attached to him?"
"What?"
"I don't care if this question is accusatory, because I'm going to accuse."
I glare at my brother.
"Why didn't my father have a shadow soldier attached to him?!"
"I... Because..."
He attempts to say what reason he could have for it.
"At least be brutally honest, dearest brother."
I spit those last two words out like venom.
"It's because you've always hated papa."
"... You said you were on good terms... Where was he?"
"He was here! Keyword WAS!"
"I didn't know that...!"
"AT ANY POINT YOU COULD HAVE ATTACHED ONE..."
I put my hands to my face.
"You don't have infinite soldiers... You can't protect everyone... I am well aware of that..."
And yet.
"I blame you."
"... What?"
"My father is dead. Because you failed to protect him."
I take a step closer to my brother with every sentence.
"The love of my life has never even THOUGHT of having me because of you!"
I jab an accusatory finger into his chest.
"I can't be independent because of YOU!"
...
"..."
He's speechless.
So am I.
Ruby is unable to make any sounds but whimpers. It seems this situation is hurting her.
"I don't want to see either of you anymore... I'm done depending on other people."
"Cici-"
"Shut up."
I turn away and begin walking.
A pair of small arms wrap around my waist, and the feel of tears and snot cover my lower back.
"N-no...! Don'd...! Don'd go...!"
I remove her arms and walk out the dorm. I shut the door and destroy the shadow soldier at my feet.
What have I done? At this point I basically threw a tantrum and said leave me alone...
That's all I can think to do...
My feet take one step. Then another. The steps pick up in pace, and before I know it, I'm running through a forest alongside the opposite mountain-face of today's events.
My body screams at me to stop, so I fall to my knees.
This really is a shitty nightmare.
I can't wait to wake up.
...
"You wish to be alone?"
...
"... Huh?"
"I knew one that once felt the same."
This voice is ethereal...
"Take my hand. Their power would suit you."
...
"Thank you."