Lan Zhan's POV
The next few days are busy as plans are hashed out on who will go where, because time is of the essence now.
They must garner support from wherever they can, so that they are able to stand up to the hundreds and thousands of Wen soldiers who will fight against them. Everything depends on this final effort before the Wens show their true colours; because as with any battle, it is the preparation beforehand which leads to victory or defeat.
Lan Zhan is fighting a personal battle now.
He hasn't let himself think about their impending trip to Yiling. It is simply easier to push it to the back of his mind for now, because he has more pressing concerns at the moment.
Every day, he is making progress on accepting his own emotions, and Wei Ying has been with him every step of the way, holding his hand both figuratively and literally throughout the arduous task. His support has been invaluable, and he offers to listen any time Lan Zhan feels like talking.
Just that support alone feels monumental.
Lan Zhan has never had anyone tell him it's okay to speak about his thoughts, his opinions on the people surrounding him, and the impact they had, and continue to have on his mental health.
Wei Ying shows him daily that his feelings matter, and there is no such thing as "you shouldn't be feeling like that", no disapproval of his emotions at all. Wei Ying displays a startling maturity in this area that Lan Zhan discovers all at once, the sense of a deeper person underneath the outward joviality and light-hearted persona that he shows to the outside world.
It is a metaphorical, emotional mask that he wears to deal with the pressures and stresses of being a Clan heir himself.
There are also bad dreams.
Lan Zhan is trying not to let it get to him, but he's suffering from the red nightmare.
It's not every night, but enough to affect him.
The dream starts off fine, with red decorations and a wedding procession. But every time he lifts the veil next to him, Wei Ying isn't there.
He's not sure if it's a premonition, or if his own mind is playing tricks on him.
Of course, Lan Zhan tries to be vocal about himself and what he's going through.
At the times when he doesn't feel like talking, Wei Ying is there to ease him into it, to ask him clever questions, ones that inadvertently get Lan Zhan to probe deeper in his mind, searching for clues as to why he has responded in a certain manner.
Every night, Lan Zhan falls into a deep sleep, exhausted by the trials of his mental challenges, and he wakes up refreshed, ready to do it all over again.
So when the day arrives that they have to leave to go to Yiling, first he is surprised that it has come so soon.
And then he lets himself understand where he's got to go.
The feud between the Lan Clan and the Wei Clan has lasted the best part of five hundred years, give or take a few weeks. The resulting war it sparked led to thousands of lives being lost on both sides, with mistrust and fear increasing day by day.
With their natural ability to control resentment energy, the Wei Clan was always under scrutiny and suspicion by the Lan Clan for suspected use of an artifact; a deceitful practice in anyone's eyes, and it was this inability to trust their word that led to further bloodshed.
Now Lan Zhan was going to have to stick his face in the Tiger's mouth, so to speak.
Perhaps a better analogy was treading on a Tiger's tail; the objective being not to. If the path before him was fraught with possible danger and fear, he had to find a way to navigate it, whilst not stepping on the tail and thus bringing about certain destruction.
He was going to go alone into the lion's den.
Well, not completely alone.
Wei Ying was going with him.
They were going to travel by carriage, because to the Cultivation World, Wei Ying was still 'dead' and in order to make use of that brilliant advantage, he had to stay that way until the very last second this subterfuge ended. The carriage would give them safe passage all the way to Yiling.
And then Lan Zhan was on his own, in terms of attempting to get the people of Yiling to accept him.
It was a daunting task.
Only now could he fully appreciate and understand what it must have been like for Wei Ying to endure the same experience.
How terrifying to go into enemy territory and not be able to use your sword to defend yourself? How frightening to have to use speech alone to convince people who already hate you and your family, and not stopping there, who hate your entire clan, to convince all these people that you mean well? That you are not there to hurt any of them, that you love their son, and oh, by the way, there's an imminent war on the horizon and hey, we're going to have to fight side by side?
Already, it felt impossible to do.
Dawn rose far too early in Lan Zhan's opinion.
Breakfast was a somber affair, with everyone lost in thoughts of their impending departures and what they needed to accomplish in the short time they had. Only three short weeks were left until the Winter Solstice, and Wei Ying's birthday on the twenty-first of December.
Twenty one days, and two of them would be spent traveling to Yiling.
Lan Zhan wouldn't let himself think about their subsequent wedding.
To do so, felt ambitious and prideful, not when he had to win over people who might be, no, who absolutely were against it in the first place.
So he was going to use this like a lure to catch bunnies.
In the back hills of Cloud Recesses, Lan Zhan had discovered the wild bunnies one day, when he was passing through with a basket of vegetables. He used the sweet carrots to entice the bunnies close enough to pet, until now they trusted him unequivocally.
He had to apply the same type of thinking towards the people of Yiling in order to show them that he was sincere in what he wanted to happen. Only then would he allow himself to believe and rejoice in their wedding fully. Once he had earned the right to.
Actions speak louder than words, he told himself.
It was a good plan.
Wei Ying's hand reached across under the short table, hidden by their billowing, voluptuous sleeves. The tingles that shot up his arm made him smile, and Lan Zhan wished they would never go away.
Silently, his beloved signed the characters for "are you alright?"
Lan Zhan nodded imperceptibly.
Wei Ying smiled at his bowl of noodles.
"I think it's amazing that one can hold a conversation with their food, don't you think so, my love?" Wei Changze said to his wife, but he was looking sharply and with amusement at his son.
Cangse Sanren glanced over to Wei Ying and grinned.
"I bet he's praying that they'll go easy on his stomach. Isn't that the new chili sauce he's poured over those poor noodles? They must be crying by now..." she laughs.
And just like that, the tension eases and everyone is back to their normal, teasing and joking selves.
Lan Zhan lets out a deep breath, telling himself everything will be alright.
Wei Ying shoots him a questioning look, but Lan Zhan shakes his head discreetly. He doesn't want to talk about anything in front of their elders, not when it will accomplish nothing, except cause them to worry.
As with anything worth pursuing in life, he knows that the challenges they will face as individuals are for them alone, and no amount of sharing fears will change that.
He thinks Wei Ying is fine about himself, that Lan Zhan has successfully dissuaded him from worrying about him.
Lan Zhan couldn't have been more wrong.
They say goodbye to everyone in between the outer and inner walls surrounding Baoshan Sanren's home. It's hard not to call it a castle when they're standing in a place that could easily be a moat, minus the water.
Uncle Qiren does not embrace Lan Zhan, but he looks as if he's thinking about it. That's enough to transform his usually grim features into a softer look, albeit serious. He settles for patting Lan Zhan's shoulder awkwardly.
"Be well," he says, and then glancing at Wei Ying, adds, "both of you."
"We will, Uncle!" Wei Ying giggles brightly, gleefully.
The sound makes both twin Jade's smile, one more openly than the other.
"Didi, be safe, and be successful. I hope everything goes smoothly." Lan XiChen hugs him warmly. "I love you, Didi. Never forget that."
Lan Zhan finds it hard to swallow past the choking boulder in his throat, and he blinks back tears as fast as he can.
The time for childish reactions has passed, he tells himself harshly, but he knows he will always be protected by his older brother. Theirs is a bond which will last forever.
XiChen goes one step further and leans forward to kiss his forehead warmly, just above his cloud emblem on his headband.
They have agreed for total transparency. There are to be no disguises, no deceit. Lan Zhan will wear his Cloud Recesses white robes openly and sincerely, and hope for the best.
Anything else would defeat the purpose of this trip, which is to befriend the residents of Yiling and ensure no animosity remains between the two clans.
Next, Lan Zhan is engulfed in the warmest embrace from Wei Ying's parents. He can sense the shock from the other two Lans at this flamboyant and loving display, because at its root, there is only love. It is also worth noting that they hugged Lan Zhan even before their own son, which would suggest that they see Lan Zhan as being worthy of equal affection.
"Give as good as you get!" Cangse Sanren tells him, all misty eyed.
Wei Changze slaps his back heartily, saving his words in favour of simply nodding warmly at him.
They hug Wei Ying next, and casually tell him to look out for Lan Zhan and make sure to taste his food first. Cangse Sanren and Baoshan Sanren get a good laugh out of Lan Zhan's widened gaze.
"Grandmother." Lan Zhan says to her as she wraps her arms around him.
He's learnt his lesson.
This hug feels familiar, like the one he's missed for the last twelve years. It's maternal in more ways than one, and both the participants are a little tearful by the time they let go of each other.
Wei Ying bounces into his grandmother's arms, hugging her tightly.
"What's going to happen to Uncle Fengmian?" He asks her, kissing her soft cheek.
"Don't worry about him," she beams, winking dangerously back at them. "Leave him to us." She nudges her daughter, who throws back her head and laughs wickedly.
Jiang YanLi watches them with a mix of emotions on her face.
Lan Zhan had become quite close with her, during these past few days. Wei Ying would inevitably seek her out and since he and Wei Ying were not to be separated, the three of them worked together. The boys would ask her questions about certain herbs or the preparation of different remedies, and in turn, she would ask them questions about cultivation and the development of a golden core.
It turned out to be mutually beneficial.
Wei Ying hugs her tightly while Lan Zhan does not feel comfortable enough for a physical goodbye, so he bows low from a distance.
"Now I've got something to show you." Baoshan Sanren says, with a mischievous, clever smile.
She hands Wei Ying a green box.
It's small enough to fit in the centre of his palm, and has a small golden catch keeping it closed for now. There are strange grooves and markings all over the outside.
"Think of a single word." She tells him. "And do not tell anyone else except for him." Her silver eyes drift towards Lan Zhan.
Wei Ying nods.
"Got it."
"Keep repeating it in your mind." She says, and then she places her right hand over the box.
Blue spiritual energy fires from her palm straight into the box, igniting the markings so that they glow a bright crimson red. At the same time, Wei Ying's eyes also change from silver starlight to a vivid scarlet. In a split second, the box lights up from all sides and opens by itself.
Dark smoky wisps are released and form the shape of a person, though that is being generous because this entity has no face and no digits to speak of. It is merely a shape with four limbs and a rounded knob for a head.
"What's that, grandmother?" Wei Ying breathes out, utterly fascinated as he walks around the thing.
"I thought, since you two wouldn't like to be separated on the way there, Smoky here will drive the carriage for you. Otherwise it would be one of you at any given time, right?" She sighs dramatically. "And we can't have pining lovers, can we?"
"Grandmother! You're such a genius!!!" Wei Ying runs into her arms once more.
"Anything for you." She says tenderly, this time, kissing the top of his head. "Also, Smoky doesn't get tired, because you know, no physical body. So you guys can travel without stopping. Here's food which should last until you get home." She hands Lan Zhan several packages, which he puts inside the carriage.
The horses neigh uncomfortably at first, but once the blinkers came down, the horses didn't particularly care who held the reins.
Smoky sat up at the front on the driver's seat, extending two long wisps of energy which grabbed the reins.
"When you reach Yiling, hold the box open and Smoky will return inside." Baoshan Sanren says.
And then they wave one more time until the carriage door is closed and they set off.
"Open the window so you can see out!" Wei Ying's Grandmother calls out behind them.
Lan Zhan finds the catch and opens the little window that looks out next to Smoky.
When he turns around, Wei Ying is looking at him expectantly.
"Mn?"
"We're all alone now." Wei Ying's eyebrows do a little dance of their own.
What does he want? Does he want to be kissed? Lan Zhan, while not opposed, thought about the logistics of that action, because they were traveling in a jostling carriage along roads which were not the smoothest. Perhaps if he held Wei Ying tight enough, protecting his head, they could -
"No. We can do that later." Wei Ying tells him firmly, reaching for his hands.
"Mn?" Lan Zhan was genuinely confused now.
"What's on your mind?" Wei Ying is direct with his question.
Oh.
They were going to do that now.
Lan Zhan had a rush of panic.
Wei Ying was going to find out how stressed he really was.
And then what?
Would he be disappointed in him? No...Wei Ying wasn't like that. If Lan Zhan had learned anything in these past few weeks, it was that his thoughts and feelings were valued, they mattered to both of them, and he knew without a doubt that Wei Ying would be able to make him feel better.
Throughout Lan Zhan's thought process, Wei Ying remained patient, waiting until he was ready with what he wanted to say. Lan Zhan's own progress was significantly better because he could talk a bit better about how he felt now.
So he began to speak, all the while his thumbs stroked the knuckles of Wei Ying's warm hands softly. Touching Wei Ying was grounding in the way a kite felt in the hands of its flier; he felt stable enough to say what was bothering him.
"Wei Ying was exceptionally brave by coming to Gusu. He did not know anyone else there, except for myself and XiongZhang. I fear my presence may not be welcome there."
Wei Ying was already climbing into his lap by this point.
"Oh Sweetheart, is that what's going on up there?" Wei Ying folded himself as close to Lan Zhan as he could until Lan Zhan felt held.
"Mn. I am worried about what the people in Yiling will think about me."
"My love, look at me." Wei Ying tells him, always soothing, always so patient and full of love.
Lan Zhan does as he is told.
He can see silver sparkles of lit stars glimmering in the night sky of Wei Ying's eyes. He's so beautiful.
This close, he can see a lovely dusting of freckles across his nose and the curve of his rosy cheeks. His lashes are longer than any Lan Zhan has ever seen, curling every time he blinks. It feels good to have Wei Ying staring back at him, his whole attention on Lan Zhan.
He feels seen.
"I'm not going to say that you have nothing to worry about. Only because we both know that's not true." He leaned forward and kissed Lan Zhan's forehead. "Would it make you feel better if I tell you what Yiling is like?"
Lan Zhan nodded.
It was the not knowing that was making him feel jittery, like lighting a string of firecrackers and waiting for them to go off. The anticipation was worse than the actual event.
"Alright then, listen." Wei Ying smiles as he talks. It's obvious that he loves the place he's describing. "Yiling is nestled between mountains, so it lies in a shallow valley. We have the Burial Mounds on one side and the slopes of another mountain range on the other. That being the case, we are sheltered so it rarely gets a lot of snow. We usually see more on the mountains but there's barely a covering in town.
"The people are extremely friendly -"
"To you." Lan Zhan mumbled, disheartened.
"That's only because they don't know you. Yet. We will win them over, my love." Wei Ying looks so earnest, clearly believing himself, that Lan Zhan sticks to a noncommittal hum.
It doesn't fool Wei Ying, who laughs softly.
"I know it's really hard to believe me. But trust me. Most of the non-cultivators are just ordinary farmers and merchants, trying to get by. They're good people." He insists. "Do you want me to tell you about the Wei Clan?"
Lan Zhan shakes his head at that.
"No?" Wei Ying sounds surprised.
"Mn. No. I wish to see it with my own eyes. I would like to make my own opinion."
"Really? Why?" Silver eyes twinkled mischievously.
"Because it is important to Wei Ying, it is important to me." Lan Zhan tells him truthfully.
He's excited to visit, that's his first and foremost feelings. But when he thinks that the people of Yiling would most likely want him dead simply because of the clothes on his back, it shines a different light on his thoughts.
But he is going to try his best.
*************************************
The motion of the carriage and the steady bumpiness of the wheels on a potholed road lulls Wei Ying into a nap. Smoky is a good driver despite his not having an actual body and they continue driving through a thick forest and the next town without incident.
They only stop when the need to relieve themselves gets too much, otherwise they take their meals while the carriage is moving. Wei Ying makes a game out of who can actually get a morsel inside their mouths, devising a point system to determine the winner.
He's bored and even tries to meditate with Lan Zhan, which shows how tedious he finds this part of the trip. He amuses himself looking through the little window, checking out the sights and reporting back to Lan Zhan on what he can see, since both of them cannot look at the same time.
Lan Zhan likes listening to the sound of Wei Ying's voice, and ultimately, that's what makes him relax enough to sleep.
************
It is mid-afternoon on the following day, and Wei Ying cannot contain his excitement.
"Lan Zhan! We're here! We're home!" He whisper-shouts.
Correct if your family would sooner rather see you gracing the insides of a coffin, Lan Zhan thinks silently. Maybe there was some truth to the reasoning that he would need a taster.
"Okay, come here, my love. Tell me what you see." Wei Ying scoots over so Lan Zhan can sit next to him.
Only Lan Zhan can see out now.
It is a prosperous and bustling town, with people milling around the many and varied stalls. The smell of strong onions being fried and cooked garlic with meat drifts into the carriage, and with it, another worry forms in Lan Zhan's mind.
What exactly is he going to eat?
His taste buds are getting ready to die.
Cinnamon and pepper, aromatic chillies, roasting sweetcorn and hot sweet potatoes are a fragrance that clouds around him, and already, Lan Zhan's eyes are watering. He wonders what size chamber pots are in Yiling, and will he have to invest in a larger one for the duration of his stay?
"Sweetheart...you're not saying anything?" Wei Ying sounds worried now.
"They look like ordinary people." Lan Zhan says quickly.
"That's because they are. They're good people, my love." Wei Ying tells him fondly.
He reels off names of people as they pass by, mentioning members of their family and when he gets to the tenth one, then Lan Zhan has a question for him.
"Wei Ying seems to know many people here, quite well. How?"
"Um..." Wei Ying colours delightfully, a blush which travels down his neck. "I used to visit them from a young age."
Lan Zhan smells a rat.
"How young?"
Wei Ying squirms in his seat.
Lan Zhan changes seats to sit right next to him.
"Four or five?" he says in a small voice.
Lan Zhan can't help gasping.
"Well, the thing is, my parents used to be busy all the time when I was a kid, and I didn't really like the babysitters they used to leave me with. So I used to sneak out," he admits.
Lan Zhan has the image of the cutest little child climbing out of a low window and running into town, charming the vendors with a cheeky smile, just for a piece of sweet tanghulu.
"Your face has gone all soft." Wei Ying whispers.
"Mn. Was imagining Wei Ying as a baby. The cutest." Lan Zhan says proudly.
"Lan Zhaaaan!" Wei Ying covers his face with his hands.
Lan Zhan thinks there would never be a time when he wasn't cute. He wears the smuggest smile.
Wei Ying sneaks a look outside through his fingers.
"Lan Zhan! Welcome to Yiling! Welcome to my home!"