Lan Zhan's POV
Baoshan Sanren entered, a cheeky smile playing upon her lips.
"Just checking." she smirked.
"We're not kissing all the time!" Wei Ying protested, his face redder than a ruby.
Since Lan Zhan was fifty percent responsible too, he looked down, his ears on fire.
"So...are you gonna tell me what that was back there?" She was looking at Lan Zhan now, a shrewd glint in her eyes.
Wei Ying stood in front of Lan Zhan, arms crossed over his chest in a defensive pose.
"No. We don't have to tell you everything, Grandma." And then he bowed as well, to lessen the effect of his impudent words.
Baoshan Sanren was so shocked, she sputtered out a laugh, and then she followed it up with a flick of her finger against Wei Ying's forehead.
"Watch your mouth, A-Xian! You're still a baby to me, and don't you forget it." she says incredulously. "You know..." She taps her nose, thoughtfully. "He wasn't like this before...not until he met you." She points a finger at Lan Zhan.
Lan Zhan steps back unconsciously, looking anywhere but at her.
"Grandmother, don't bully him." Wei Ying says, in that flirty way of his.
"Very well." She laughs once more. "I'll let you off this time, but just make sure you don't lose control again. Sort yourself out, up here." She taps the side of her own head. "And what happened to him?" She jerks her chin towards Jiang Fengmian who has passed out on the floor.
"He clocked out soon after you all left. I swear! I didn't touch him!" Wei Ying says with a naughty grin. "But to tell you the truth, I wouldn't mind teaching him a lesson or two. How can he be a Sect Leader and make such bad choices?" He shakes his head disapprovingly.
"Will he remember any of this?" Lan Zhan asks Baoshan Sanren.
"Hmm...honestly speaking, I have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine." she admits reluctantly.
"Well then, now is your chance. Wei Ying will never get another opportunity as good as this one." Lan Zhan bends and whispers this in his ear.
Wei Ying turns around in surprise, eyes wide with shock.
"He's not wrong." Baoshan Sanren beams at them. "It would be a shame if he hurt his head after drinking too much and started hallucinating...and what a pity that there's no way to prove whatever he ends up thinking..." she tuts in fake sympathy.
"But I'll feel bad." Wei Ying shakes his head at them. "And someone has to be the adult. I don't even know what's happening to you two!"
"Sweet boy...what he did to you, it is unforgivable. His actions will not go unpunished, mark my words." She's utterly serious as she cradles Wei Ying's face in the palm of her hand. "And this is how we both feel. We're just encouraging you to let go of pent up feelings...that's all." She winks at Lan Zhan as if he is her co-conspirator.
Wei Ying nuzzles closer, smiling.
"There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you." She adds fiercely, her voice thick with emotions.
"I know, grandmother. I...I missed you." Wei Ying admits.
Lan Zhan likes watching them. These interactions remind him of when he was younger and his mother showed him care and showered him with love. Maternal figures have been strangely absent from his life ever since his mother passed away.
"Mother! Aren't you coming?" Cangse Sanren pokes her head around the corner, grinning at them. She waves the cups in her one hand, and the two jars of wine she can hold in the other. "We're going to play drinking games!" she says with a snicker. "Wanna join us?" She's looking at Wei Ying, but the invitation is open to both of them.
Wei Ying fake yawns.
"I'm so tired, and it's almost Lan Zhan's bedtime." He says, taking Lan Zhan's hand. "So we're going to...you know..."
"Yes, we know!" Both mother and daughter throw back their heads and cackle with delight, winking knowingly at them.
"SLEEP!! We're going to sleep!" Wei Ying shouts back to leery laughter.
"Is that what we're calling it now?" And they laugh some more.
Wei Ying is muttering under his breath about pots and kettles, as he leads the way to his room. He knows his way through the maze of floors in this castle-like building, and Lan Zhan is extremely glad he does, because he lost track of their path already.
He thinks it's a great security measure too, after all, it would be hard to kill your target if you couldn't find them in the first place.
Lan Zhan tugs on his hand when they reach the closed door of Wei Ying's room.
"What is it, my love?" Wei Ying turns around.
"If Wei Ying wants to drink with his family...he should leave me here." Lan Zhan tells him quietly.
Wei Ying slides into his arms, hugging him tightly.
Lan Zhan expects him to go but Wei Ying kisses his cheek and simply smiles.
"I don't want to drink...at least, not tonight. How tired are you?" He asks.
His lovely lotus flower scent wraps around Lan Zhan like a blanket, and he breathes in deeply. He has missed this.
And he has missed being alone with Wei Ying, just the two of them.
Their escape doesn't count, because they were under the stress of not being discovered, and getting away from the Wens.
Here, they are safe within these multiple walls, no one hiding around corners waiting to kill them, or hurt them in any way.
Here, they can finally relax.
"Not tired." Lan Zhan answers his question.
"Then what do you say to a bath?" Wei Ying says. His mercurial eyes are shining with an eager purpose.
Lan Zhan is being dragged inside with a giggle, even before he's finished nodding.
Wei Ying slaps a heating talisman on the tub of water behind the privacy screen and quickly strips.
Lan Zhan covered his eyes as soon as the naughty young man started on his dangerous path, and only after he hears the telltale splash of a body submerged in water, does he venture to open them.
And Wei Ying, such a kind, considerate person that he is, has covered his eyes too, and is waiting for Lan Zhan to climb in behind him. He has scooted forward to make room for him.
Lan Zhan joins him as fast as he can.
Wei Ying relaxes and leans against his chest, sighing as the hot water eases away the kinks in their muscles. He reaches for the bottle of oil on the floor and takes a sniff before dumping a generous amount into their water.
The fragrance of tea tree oil and juniper flowers hangs in the air. This oil is meant to heal, and it smells nice to Lan Zhan, too. He settles back as Wei Ying reaches for his hands.
"I don't want you to be scared." he says, bringing Lan Zhan's hand to his lips.
"Mn?" Lan Zhan isn't sure what he's talking about.
The soothing fragrance coupled with the warmth of the water is relaxing in a way he didn't know he needed.
In this bath, with his Wei Ying, he doesn't have to be strong. There is nothing to do...except be himself. It is remarkably freeing.
The stresses of finding Wei Ying and keeping him safe, all alone in dangerous lands...all of that melts away and Lan Zhan finds himself in a buffered headspace.
His eyes are half shut and his muscles are loose; he is unwinding in a good way.
"I want us to talk...without any barriers. Do you remember, my love?" Wei Ying's voice is almost hypnotic in his ears.
Lan Zhan would like to hear him talking...forever.
All of his attention is fully on each word being spoken to him.
"You may answer." Wei Ying tells him.
The sound of his voice feels like the softest velvet. Lan Zhan feels cocooned in safety.
"Mn." He thinks he has answered. But there is no time to think about that now; Wei Ying is saying something else.
"Do you remember when we were by the bunnies...we made promises to each other. We said this is our safe space." Wei Ying gestures between them. "No matter what you tell me, I will always love you. And I know, it's the same for you and me. I know, if I tell you anything at all, I know you will still love me. Together...safe."
Lan Zhan finds himself repeating those words softly.
"That's my good boy." Wei Ying praises him.
Lan Zhan likes this. Everything feels fuzzy but in a nice way. He's not scared at all.
"We are going to explore all the places in your mind that you are keeping locked away. But first, please...I want you to tell me about the first time you ever felt angry."
This melodious voice asks in such a lovely way, that all Lan Zhan wants to do is make the owner happy. So he thinks back to a time, so very long ago. It's like going through a stack of papers until he finds the right one....
"Outside. It's cold." His own voice sounds as if it belongs to someone else.
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting for father."
"Your father? Why?"
"Mother is no longer in the Jingshi. Need father...but father does not open the door. Father is never there when we need him. I do not like him." Lan Zhan cannot bring himself to care that what he has just admitted are not the words of a filial son.
But he has always wondered about this.
The difference between his father and their relationship...and Wei Ying and his relationship with his father.
They have jokes together. They hug. They talk to each other normally.
It is good.
Lan Zhan wants that.
Correction: Lan Zhan wanted that.
It is past tense, because those wishes are buried in the days that have gone.
He is vaguely aware of the splashing of water, and then Wei Ying is sitting on his lap, having turned around.
"You can cry, my love. It is absolutely necessary to let it out. Even if he's still alive, you are mourning the love you never got from him. Every kid deserves to be loved."
Warm hands hold his face.
Lan Zhan can feel Wei Ying wiping under his eyes.
"Every child?" he asks, pitifully.
Wei Ying nods at him, his beautiful silver eyes as calm as the ocean and just as deep. Here, there is infinite kindness just for him.
"Not me. I don't believe my father loves me."
Lan Zhan feels shocked.
He did not know this was how he felt. He wants to leave, to hide. To get away suddenly.
But even as he tries to scramble up and out of there, Wei Ying uses all of his strength to hold him down.
Strong, confident arms wrap all the way around him like a vice, holding him in place.
There is no escape.
Lan Zhan feels bare.
Not in the naked sense, because that is obviously part of this....whatever Wei Ying is doing to him. He feels seen.
Huge, choking sobs from the very depths of his centre rise up like a volcano spewing up all of its raging fire, the ugliness which Lan Zhan has taken unconscious pains to hide deep inside.
His absent father and his mother's passing, since the latter was never explained to him clearly, he has always seen it as his own fault.
How can anyone ever love him? When his parents apparently had not, not enough to stay?
Everything comes out; all his doubts, all his fears, all of his anger. The storm rages over him with big fat tears leaking from his eyes, and oh! Why can't he stop crying? Rivulets of his pain leave his eyes like a flooded river, all the things he did his best to hide away, to conceal from outside eyes the true extent of his suffering.
His child's mind has taken him from his mother's cottage to his father's residence, a far grander abode than his mother's home.
But the door still did not open.
Of course he blamed himself.
There was no one else left.
Wei Ying lets him cry it all out.
All throughout, his arms are a steady presence, grounding him and giving him something to hold onto. His voice is whispering words of comfort, gentle positive affirmations of love in his ear and Lan Zhan is slowly processing his feelings.
He is rung out, like the freshly washed clothes by the banks of the river. Twisted into an unnatural shape and holding onto it because he doesn't know any better.
Wei Ying holds him all through the tempestuous hurricane, a battering that leaves him weak.
The water has long since gone cold, but he has the warmth of Wei Ying's body giving him hope.
"Come, my love. Let's go to bed. You need to rest." Wei Ying says, gently.
Lan Zhan looks into those gorgeous eyes. They remind him of glittering stars, a constant in this ever-changing world.
"Don't leave me."
Wei Ying's eyes fill with tears.
"Never." he vows.
Lan Zhan believes him.
It is this belief that allows him to close his eyes. He lets Wei Ying wrap him in a fluffy towel and lead him to the bed. He is made to sit down while Wei Ying dries his hair. Lan Zhan feels like a ragdoll.
Soft and floppy.
Wei Ying only wears a sleeping robe, a beautiful red colour, and makes Lan Zhan wear his white one.
Lan Zhan is past caring.
Sleep comes fast and without warning.
***********************************
The next morning when Lan Zhan wakes, he feels utterly refreshed.
The night feels as if it passed by in a single blink, and he stretches, his muscles feeling revitalised and renewed. The clouds that had been weighing his mind down have lifted, and Lan Zhan feels all the more lighter because of it.
The weight upon his shoulders has gone, even though he had no idea it was there.
His action wakes Wei Ying, who opens his eyes with a big yawn.
"My love." He presses a warm kiss at the base of Lan Zhan's throat, snuggling ever closer. "Sweetheart...how do you feel this morning?"
"Vastly better."
Wei Ying opens one eye.
"Really?" Doubt curls around that word.
"Mn. Lighter. Free." Lan Zhan admits.
"Oh my! That IS a good sign." Wei Ying rolls over him. "What do you remember from last night?"
That question immediately makes Lan Zhan's ears burn.
He thinks about last night...their bath. Nothing is absolutely clear and yet he feels they did more than just bathe.
"Did we...do something?" he asks, tentatively. Now he actually is scared. What if...what if he -
Wei Ying takes one look at his face and starts giggling. It turns into fully blown laughter, complete with streaming eyes brimming with mirth and joviality.
"Relax, my love. Nothing happened. Not physically, anyway." He says, when he's calmed down sufficiently enough to form words.
"Explain." Lan Zhan does not mean to sound curt. It's just that he doesn't like not knowing things, especially if they concern himself. This is one of the reasons he hates drinking, on the few times he'd accidentally done so.
The fear of doing something really terrible is incapacitating enough to prevent him from committing that particular sin.
Yesterday night felt like a dream. One that he's glad is over, but he knows something important happened....and now he wants to know what it is.
"Yesterday night, you told me some things. But sweetheart, this is just the beginning. I feel like we only touched upon the core issue." Wei Ying is looking down at him with a laser focus.
There is nowhere to hide.
Besides, that would mean moving, and Lan Zhan rather likes Wei Ying like this, sitting on top of him. It feels intimate and wholesome, both at the same time.
He is ready to listen.
"Mn?"
Wei Ying taps his nose.
"If grandmother sent off the message last night, that means we have approximately six to seven days of internal work to do. We need to fix the cracks in there." He bends to kiss Lan Zhan's forehead.
A noise of disappointment leaves Lan Zhan's mouth, suspiciously like a whine.
Wei Ying giggles, his broad smile making Lan Zhan feel a little bit better.
"Fix?" He asks. He hates the thought that his mind may not be perfect, and of course, that is followed by thoughts of how he can make it so.
He can see Wei Ying watching him carefully.
"Tell me something. What exactly do you do, when you meditate?"
"Focus on core development, erase feelings, strive for perfection." Lan Zhan recites from memory.
"Alright, let's try that again. This time, don't give me a textbook answer." Wei Ying winks at him, and softens his words like that.
"I think about my core."
"Okay...and you meditate twice a day, right?"
"When possible."
"So, say you have a really bad day. Like, nothing goes your way. For example, you are late, and when you finally get to classes, everyone looks at you when you enter. Uncle Qiren is upset with you, and when you are marking papers, you keep finding silly mistakes. How do you feel?"
Lan Zhan smirks.
"Wei Ying has made up a fantasy. It would never happen." He insists.
"Lan Zhaaaan! Work with me. Be serious!" Wei Ying wails and lies on top of him. "Try to imagine this. Just try. For me."
Lan Zhan begins to stroke his hair.
Having Wei Ying lying on him is a weight that soothes and comforts simultaneously. Lan Zhan closes his eyes and tries to imagine those scenarios actually happening to him.
He is shocked to find panic.
It bubbled up inside him like a particular type of acidity he had once suffered from. Then too, his breathing had become much shallower, and fast. This was just his reaction to being late. Lan Zhan had never, ever been late for anything in his life. It was an ingrained trait not to be so discourteous. He could never do something like that.
"We're just imagining. This is fictitious." Wei Ying coaxes him, reassuring him with words.
"Mn." Then Lan Zhan adds the next one, feeling his heart beginning to race.
He imagines walking into the classroom after everyone else. This isn't so bad; everyone is always looking at him, and it's nothing new.
But...it is.
When people usually look at him, it is with awe and admiration.
When he's this late, it's first with disbelief and shock.
Lan Zhan does not like this at all. In fact...he hates it!
He's always been a role model. He can't even remember a time when he wasn't.
This is terribly unnerving, and it throws him off his tracks.
Still he plods onwards, if a little bit more carefully. He adds Uncle Qiren being upset with him.
He feels like squirming.
Butterflies erupt in his stomach, and he feels jittery and antsy.
"Go on, sweetheart. Last one." Wei Ying adds. His voice is incredibly soft.
Lan Zhan adds the thoughts of having to endlessly correct stupid mistakes made by children who should definitely know better, and what happened to 'read the whole question before answering'?
He is actually feeling annoyed and angry about it now.
"Good boy. Now, how do you usually deal with these? What are you going to do?" Curious eyes are watching him.
"I lock them inside the box in my head, and I don't look." Lan Zhan blurts out.
"Oh...Sweetheart..." Wei Ying presses small kisses to his pale skin where the gap has opened, leaving it bare.
"Mn?"
"I figured out what's going on with you." Wei Ying tells him, sitting up.
Lan Zhan gets the feeling he's not going to like what Wei Ying is going to say. But he still asks.
"Mn?"
"You've been filling that box up all of your life. It's too full. The lid won't stay on any more. You need a clean out."
*********************************
A clean out.
Those three words terrified him.
And now he was torn between wanting to spend time with Wei Ying and being scared that he was going to bring this up again.
The day passed smoothly all the way to the afternoon.
Lan Zhan didn't want to be a coward. But there were times when he felt overwhelmed, and this was definitely the case now.
He was lost in thought all through the meals of the day, letting everyone talk over him and feeling their words wash over him.
There were gaps when Wei Ying wandered away to talk to the others, and in a way, this was even more frightening. Lan Zhan worried that Wei Ying would get tired of him, and ultimately walk away, not wanting to be involved with a person like himself, someone too immature to deal with their feelings.
Sometimes, the negative thoughts would drown out the voice of reason, who told him that Wei Ying had made promises and he was a man of his word.
There were too many thoughts in his head and it began to hurt.
Jiang YanLi noticed and came to sit close to him. She respected his need for personal space and made sure she was near enough to hear him, but far enough away that it looked like she was only reading her book.
They sat there in relative silence, just enjoying the gentle breeze, the fragrance of heavenly blooms spreading their perfume like a comforting blanket of love.
The moments passed and gradually, Lan Zhan relaxed as it became clear that she wasn't going to say anything.
That was a mistake.
"Does your head hurt, Second Master Lan?" She asked in that gentle way of hers.
"Mn."
"Perhaps...I can make you a tonic? It will help you sleep. And not thinking about anything can be beneficial to good health." She says quietly.
Lan Zhan thinks about her words.
It would certainly be a relief.
She nods and smiles, getting up to fetch it.
Lan Zhan hadn't even realised that he'd spoken aloud.
She returns ten minutes later with a glass of pale blue liquid.
"I flavoured it with blueberry and sweet pea. It's quite refreshing, ironically, but once you drink this, you should find a bed in around ten minutes." She advises, laughing when he grabs the glass and chugs it down.
"I'll go and get A-Xian." She says. And then she bends down. "But one thing worth remembering, is that no matter how far you run, you can never get away from yourself." She sounds sad when she says this.
Lan Zhan thinks about that.
He knows it's true but he just wants a break from his mind. His thoughts had been a constant white noise in his head, and even meditation hadn't helped. He has no idea what to do, and the sympathetic looks he's getting from everyone haven't been helping.
The adults, if they can be called that, rose way past midday after their night of drinking.
And there was a tense silence between himself and Wei Ying, something Lan Zhan really hated. He didn't like this distance and apparently, Wei Ying had decided all by himself that Lan Zhan needed space.
The next few minutes are a bit of a blur.
His limbs feel heavy and his eyes won't stay open.
He's aware of being moved, and warm lips kiss his forehead, and there's a wish for sweet dreams.
And then....nothing.
*************************************
You cannot get away from yourself.
This phrase stays with him.
It is a litany that accompanies him through the night, and well past midday on the second day.
Wei Ying is sitting next to him when he opens his eyes next.
Wei Ying is dressed.
Lan Zhan frowns, looking at his robes, and then he petulantly stares at the place next to him.
In bed.
Wei Ying giggles delightfully.
"Oh Sweetheart! You were out cold. I didn't want to wake you unnecessarily." His warm hands caress Lan Zhan's face, a physical token of the love Lan Zhan can see shining from his brilliant diamond eyes.
Lan Zhan feels ashamed now.
How could he possibly even think that Wei Ying won't love him any more?
"What is it, my love?" Wei Ying leans down to give him a good morning kiss. It is far too brief.
Lan Zhan pouts.
Wei Ying giggles again and playfully kisses him all over his face...but not on the lips.
"Not until you tell me what's on your mind." Wei Ying promises.
"Then, two kisses." Lan Zhan demands.
Wei Ying is astonished and beams at him.
"Absolutely! Now spill."
Lan Zhan knows honesty is non-negotiable in a relationship. He really does, but the words are so hard to speak. So he closes his eyes and it's much easier.
"Yesterday...I thought...I thought perhaps...Wei Ying will not like me any more. Will not love me any more. You stayed away." He cannot help his accusatory tone.
"Oh! Lan Zhan!!!" Wei Ying looks horrified. "Sweetheart! I'm so sorry! I thought you needed time to think. You looked so ... so traumatized, so upset. And I felt bad that it was me. That I did that to you. You seemed to be fine in the morning....but then, as time went on, I could feel you withdrawing. I didn't want to make it worse." Wei Ying looks contrite.
"I know...now. I know now, that's not true. But yesterday, there were too many voices in my head." Lan Zhan says quietly.
Wei Ying nods sympathetically. "Self analysis can take a lot out of you. It's mental work but since your mind and body are connected, it's to be expected that you were exhausted. You've slept for over fourteen hours, my love."
"I am scared." Lan Zhan admits.
"Of what?" Wei Ying sounds curious.
"I'm scared to look inside the box. But yesterday...yesterday, Jiang YanLi said...I cannot run away from myself. I understand that now. And...I am ready. Please, can you help me?" Lan Zhan feels utterly scraped raw.
"Always." Wei Ying kisses him again, and this time, Lan Zhan can sense his relief.
"Wei Ying said sorry. Ten kisses are owed." Lan Zhan flipped them around fast, and then he pounced.
*****************************
It was in the evening that Wei Ying approached him.
The day had passed in peaceful activities. There had been lightheartedness and humourous banter between all, and even the more reticent members of their team joined in. Then, one by one, everyone leaves the two young lovers.
"Let's go to our room." Wei Ying tells him.
Lan Zhan is apprehensive, but once he has made a decision, he sticks to it.
Wei Ying takes his hand and kisses it, before walking them to their room.
It is too early to sleep, and Lan Zhan is tense and trying not to be.
Wei Ying smiles, mostly to calm them both down because smiles are automatically reciprocated, and Lan Zhan finds himself relaxing naturally.
"Why don't you lie down? It will make it easier." He says.
He sits on the bed and then arranges Lan Zhan, so that he is lying down with his head in Wei Ying's lap. Wei Ying cards his fingers through Lan Zhan's hair, slowly and surely.
And then he begins to talk in a soothing voice.
"All of our feelings matter, and they need to be experienced. Your feelings matter, my love, no matter what you have been taught while you were growing up. It's important to accept everything we feel, until they become like dewdrops in the rain.
"If we keep ignoring them, they become more and more powerful, until we are overwhelmed, defeated by the strength of them. The key is acceptance."
"What does Wei Ying do with his feelings?" Lan Zhan's voice sounds so small and vulnerable.
"I watch them."
"Watch them?" He's confused. "That's all?"
"That's all." Wei Ying confirms.
"And that helps?"
"Yes. All emotions need attention. The important thing is we understand that we don't have to act on them. Once these two things are understood, everything becomes so much easier to deal with." Wei Ying bent and kissed the smooth expanse of his skin, above his brow.
Lan Zhan wasn't getting it.
"Okay, here's how we're going to make this easy. Sit up for me, my love." Wei Ying helped him, and adjusted his forehead ribbon so it was no longer crooked.
Then he went and fetched a piece of parchment and quickly ground some ink.
He drew seven circles inside one another, and the one in the centre was only a dot. He pointed at the dot.
"That's you, Sweetheart." He says.
"Where's Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan pouted. He didn't like this exercise at all!
"See, that's up to you. All these circles are your special places. Their importance depends on how close they are to you. So here, let's think about the people in your life." Wei Ying smiles kindly at him and hands him the brush.
"Wei Ying goes here." Lan Zhan writes the characters for his name as close as he can to the dot.
That earns him a very special kiss.
"Okay, now...where is XiChen-Ge going to go?" Wei Ying coaxes him.
Kissing is an addictive distraction and they need to focus right now.
Lan Zhan writes his name in the second circle. He also puts Baoshan Sanren and Wei Ying's parents in there too.
Wei Ying's smile only gets wider.
"Alright, what about your mother?"
Plop.
Plop.
Plop. Plop. Plop.
"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying brings him into a hurried embrace. "What's wrong, Sweetheart?"
"No space to write her name." Lan Zhan says in a broken voice.
"Oh...silly boy! That's easily fixed." Wei Ying squeezes him tightly and writes her name on the side and draws an arrow pointing to the dot. "There, happy?" He wipes Lan Zhan's face with his sleeve.
Lan Zhan nods with upturned lips.
"And now for your father."
That's all Wei Ying had to say for the smile to disappear and it's immediately replaced by a frown.
And a glare at the parchment paper.
Lan Zhan drops the brush, too, refusing to pick it up.
"Okay...." Wei Ying looks uncertain. "Maybe we can put him there?" He points to the seventh circle, the one that's the furthest away.
Lan Zhan shakes his head resolutely.
That man's name is not going anywhere near him, or the people he loves.
"Sweetheart...maybe we can talk about him later." Wei Ying says.
Lan Zhan fake yawns.
Wei Ying simply smiles again. "Shall we go to sleep, then?"
*******************************
The days pass by speedily. Every evening, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying spend time talking. They go through Lan Zhan's childhood and his early years, discussing the turning points of his life, the things that affected him the most, and they spend important moments discussing how he has dealt with these things.
It's a clean out in the truest sense of the word.
Lan Zhan learns how to be alright with those emotions which he has been taught to suppress: jealousy, anger, confusion, and hate.
It's tough going for him and by the sixth day, Wei Ying says they've made progress. Every day they tackle his reluctance to include his father on the seven circles.
On the seventh day, Lan Zhan finally writes his name on the outside of the circles, as far away as he can.
Wei Ying hugs him when he cries.
Baoshan Sanren comes upon them when they are quietly listening to the sounds of each other breathing. They are holding hands, and this meditation exercise is a new take on the one Lan Zhan already practices.
"Sorry to interrupt," she says quietly. "But I thought you would want to know...Lan XiChen has arrived. But, he's not alone."