Shawn, Topanga, Cory and Zoey were all hanging out in Angela's and Rachel's dorm room.
Zoey smiled as she laid on top of her fiancée as their lips moved hungrily against each other. Shawn's arm held her securely to him as they kissed.
When they finally pulled apart, the two looked over at Cory and Topanga. Topanga sat next to her husband and both had reading material open in front of them, though Cory's space was messy with the popcorn that had missed his mouth.
"Hey, how come you guys aren't going at it?" Shawn wondered.
"Shawnie, you don't understand what I got here. I mean, once you start up this engine, it's nonstop to Puerto Rico." Cory answered.
"Well, isn't he the romantic?" Zoey snarked.
"I don't even know what's talking about." Topanga said.
Cory smiled. "That's right. Papa don't make sense."
"I hate this job!" Rachel exclaimed furiously as she stormed into the dorm. "'Rachel, the shower drain's clogged!' 'Rachel, somebody puked in the hall, go clean it up!' 'Rachel, the candy machine's out of corn nuts!'"
"Is it?" Shawn questioned. "Well, fix it!"
"I am a resident adviser, not a vending machine stuffer? I took this job for the one stinking perk they give you. Do you know what that is?" Rachel questioned.
"A friend that you can always rant to?" Zoey guessed.
"A parking spot! That's what I get. A place to park my little beetle near my room." Rachel answered.
Cory stood up and took up the remaining space next to Shawn and Zoey. "I've never seen our favourite redhead so direly. I like it!"
"I had to walk a mile and a half because of some stupid, selfish, spot-grubbing moron!" Rachel growled.
"Maybe the moron didn't know it was yours." Shawn muttered mildly.
Rachel turned to face Shawn with wide eyes. "You! You parked in my spot?!"
"Don't have a hissy fit." Shawn told her.
"If you don't move your car right now, I will use my powers as RA to see that you do!" Rachel exclaimed.
"Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho-ho." Shawn mocked her as he stood up, his hands raising in the air. "What are you gonna do, ban me from the soda machine? Revoke my corn nut privileges?"
"Oh! She can't do that!" Cory added.
"Because there aren't any!" Shawn shouted.
Cory and Shawn glanced at each other before turning to Rachel. "Ha!"
Zoey couldn't help but smile at the sound as she remembered the times before when the three of them would one-upped someone.
"Okay, that's it! You're breaking the rules right now because you're in the dorms after hours! I'm banning you from the dorm. Get out!" Rachel demanded furiously.
"Can she do that?" Shawn wondered nervously.
"I just did." Rachel snarled. "Goodbye."
"I am shocked, dismayed and outraged." Shawn admitted.
"Well, now, you can't be." Cory told him. "You be shocked, I'll be dismayed and Zoey is outraged."
"Fiancee!" Shawn called. Zoey smirked and stood up from the bed. "We're leaving."
"Wife, we're leaving! Walk behind me!" Cory insisted.
Shawn, Cory and Zoey began walking towards the door.
"I'm staying." Topanga decided.
The three of them stopped in their tracks and turned to Topanga in disbelief.
Cory narrowed his eyes. "You hear that, shocked and outraged? She's staying."
Zoey walked confidently towards Rachel with Shawn and Cory trailing behind her. "You are gonna be sorry, home wrecker. You mess with my boys, you mess with me."
"Oh, yeah." Shawn and Cory agreed in unison behind Zoey.
With that, the three of them looked up and stormed out of the dorm room.
••••
It was six in the morning. Cory, Shawn and Zoey sat on the couch in the Student Union, drinking coffee. Then all of a sudden they heard a scream coming from the dorm rooms. The three chuckled and clinked their drinks.
Rachel and Angela rushed into the Student Union with Mr. Feeny behind them.
"There they are!" Rachel exclaimed, pointing at Shawn, Cory and Zoey.
"Hey, hey, hey! Mr. Feeny! Angela! Resident Adviser McGuire." Cory greeted.
Zoey smirked. "Morning, Angela."
"Shut it!" Angela snapped.
"Are you mad at us?" Shawn wondered.
"I nearly broke my toe trying to get over a car on the way to the closet!" Angela replied angrily.
"A car?!" Cory asked in confusion.
"In your room?!" Shawn, Zoey and Cory wondered in shock.
"Isn't that a violation of dorm rules?" Shawn questioned.
"You know, we should report her to the authorities." Zoey suggested.
"But she is the authorities." Cory pointed out.
The three of them stood up and faced Rachel. "There's a car in your room, lady!"
"Oh, you three think you're so clever, don't you?" Rachel said.
Shawn, Cory and Zoey nodded their heads.
"Yeah, pretty much."
"But you're clever!"
"No, you're clever!"
"Get 'em, Feeny!" Rachel insisted.
Mr. Feeny stepped forward. "Gentlemen... Lady... this kind of behavior is juvenile and unfitting of college sophomores. Did you really put a car in her room?" Shawn, Cory and Zoey nodded. "That's great! However, these kinds of antics will not be tolerated. How did you do it?"
Cory then grabbed a headlight from Rachel's car out underneath a couch cushion. "Feeny, Feeny, looky, looky! Looky, looky!"
"Mr. Feeny!" Rachel exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, Miss McGuire, but there are no rules on the books about putting cars in the room. Was there loud music emanating from the car?" Mr. Ferny asked.
"No." Rachel answered.
"Then you got nothin." Mr. Feeny said.
"They set off my alarm to wake me up!" Rachel informed.
Mr. Feeny turned to the Cory, Shawn and Zoey, surprised. "Well, now, that's just plain brilliant!"
The three of them began laughing along with Mr. Feeny.
"You're not going to teach them a lesson?!" Rachel questioned.
Mr. Feeny shook his head. "No, and you can't make me."
"Okay. For the past two years, I've had to endure all these stories about the great Mr. Feeny and his amazing lessons, and now, they put a Volkswagen in my room, and you have not one lousy lesson?!" Rachel said in disbelief.
"Alright, here's a lesson. Relax - take a nice drive.... into your closet!" Mr. Feeny told her.
Shawn, Zoey and Cory busted out into laughter and high-fived their teacher proudly.
"You all disgust me!" Rachel exclaimed.
"Oh, can it, McGuire, they got you." Mr. Feeny said before he walked away from the group.
Rachel sighed and approached Shawn, Cory and Zoey. "Well, I hope you know this means war."
"War?" Cory asked.
"With us?" Shawn wondered.
"Trust me, Rachel, you don't want to go there." Zoey said, taking a sip from her coffee.
"Cory, Shawn and Zoey are undefeated in matters such as these." Cory informed with a smirk. He turned to his best friends. "Did you see how I referred to myself in the third person for emphasis?"
"I thought that was a nice touch." Zoey admitted.
Cory nodded in agreement. "Cory did, too."
"Don't be so sure of yourselves. You never tangled with Rachel McGuire before." Rachel threatened.
Cory then began speaking gibbering, mocking Rachel. "You've never tangled with Rachel McGuire before."
"Okay. Let's just consider this a little preview of things to come." Rachel said as she grabbed a bottle of water out of her bag and began spraying it all over Cory and Shawn.
Cory smirked. "You know what, Zo? I-I think we're melting."
Zoey looked over at Angela to see her holding a bottle of water.
"Angela, please. Do something at least a little clever." Zoey begged.
Angela stepped forward and moved the bottle of water across Zoey's body before pulling the collar of her shirt down, spilling the water down her top. Zoey let out a laugh while her top began sticking to her skin.
"Guys, what is going on here?" Topanga wondered as she approached the group.
"They parked my car in our room." Rachel explained.
"Nice once!" Topanga praised, high-fiving her best friends and husband.
"Topanga!" Angela and Rachel exclaimed in unison.
"I warned you." Topanga told them.
"Topanga, join our side and teach these guys a lesson!" Angela insisted.
Topanga wrapped her arms around Shawn, Zoey and Cory. "Sorry, guys, I have to go with them."
"Good move." Zoey whispered. "Go with the experiences."
"They need me more. Without me, Shawn and Cory won't be as smart." Topanga informed.
"Hey!" Shawn and Cory complained.
"Just kidding. I would never want to bet against you, Shawn and Zoey." Topanga told her husband with a smile.
••••
The group were now gathered in the apartment with the opposing team of Rachel and Angela as they divided up the rest of their friends. Shawn, Zoey, Topanga and Cory stood on one side of the building, Angela and Rachel on the other side, leaving Blake, Eric and Jack in the middle.
"You know what, Jack, I'm having trouble opening this jar." Eric said.
"That's because it's a can." Jack told him.
Rachel grabbed onto Jack and Blake's arms. "We choose you guys."
"No, choose me!" Eric insisted loudly.
"You two have to be on our side. We're outnumbered." Angela explained to the older brothers.
"I'll be on your side." Eric said.
Shawn pulled Jack over to their side of the room. "Jack, you're my brother. Brothers can't be on opposite sides of war. Sorry, ladies, but that's the way it is, and there's nothing you can do to change that."
Rachel walked up to Jack and placed her hand on his arm. "It could be really fun to be on the same side."
"I'm fun." Eric said.
"You think?" Jack wondered.
"Jack, you know good Cory, Zoey and Shawn are at this. You don't want to go against them." Topanga pointed out.
"You know, Jack, we were close once. Who knows what can happened when two people are caught up in the heat of battle." Rachel suggested.
"Hold on!" Cory exclaimed, tossing a red napkin to the floor. "That's a foul. No fair offerin cookies."
"Did Jack forget how good my cookies were?" Rachel asked as she stepped closer to Jack, moving her mouth to his ear.
"Whoa!" Shawn exclaimed in shock.
"I'm with her, guys. Sorry." Jack said, caving easily despite the obvious manipulation.
"Yeah, so am I." Shawn agreed. He flinched as Zoey poked his side harshly. "No, okay."
"I'm with them." Blake informed, standing beside his girlfriend.
"Alright, look. I know both sides want me but I'm gonna reserve my decision until I hear all the pitches, okay?" Eric told them as he walked over to Angela's side.
"No, see, you're Cory's brother. You need to go over to his side." Angela said, pushing Eric across the room.
"Actually, brothers are often opposite sides of a war. The Civil War was famous for it. You know Lincoln's speech, 'a house divided cannot stand'?" Zoey pointed out.
"Plus, he's Jack and Blake's best friend! He should be on their side!" Cory said, sending his brother towards the other side.
"Stop fighting over me, guys! Stop fighting over me! I've already made my decision, alright? Um...." Eric began and spun around and pointed as everyone ducked. He stopped and pushed Cory to the ground. "I'm not really on your team. I'm a spy." He then pushed Jack onto the couch. "I'm a spy."
••••
The next day, Zoey slumped against her seat as she tapped her pencil lightly onto her notepad, whilst Mr. Feeny was talking about the Civil War.
"The Civil War was one of the darkest moments in the history of our nation. Once united, we were now on the precipice of a terrible conflagration which could cast friend against friend, and brother against brother." Mr. Feeny told the class.
Eric stood up from his seat. "Mr. Feeny, this war must be stopped!"
"Your passion for the material is admirable, Mr. Matthews, but not to worry. The Civil War was fought over a hundred years ago." Mr. Feeny responded.
"No one cares about that crap. I'm talking about now!" Eric exclaimed. "I just don't want to see anybody get hurt!"
"Mr. Matthews, I have no idea what you're talking about, and that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it." Mr. Feeny said dryly. "Tomorrow we'll begin with the first shots fired on Fort Summer."
After Mr. Feeny finished his class, there was a rush as everyone raced to get out of class first. The two parties at war remained behind to continue their altercation.
"I can't take this anymore!" Eric shouted, breaking the silence. "Friends against friend, brother against brother. Don't you realize that nothing good can come from this?"
"Hey!" Cory whined, ignoring his brother.
"What?" Topanga asked.
"I'm stuck!" Cory announced.
Zoey tested her own seat and rolled her eyes. "Superglue on the chairs."
"My skirt is ruined!" Topanga complained.
"The old superglue trick. Amateurs." Shawn observed, completely unaffected.
"You're not mad?" Eric asked.
"Eric, this is nothing." Cory reassured him. "It's not even clever."
"You don't think so?" Blake wondered.
"Not worthy of comment." Zoey replied.
"Well, what if it isn't over?" Rachel asked as she walked over to the blackboard and pulled on a chain that wasn't there yesterday.
Without bothering to look back at them, Blake, Angela, Jack and Rachel left the classroom.
Then all of a sudden thick, golden liquid fell with a thud onto Topanga's book. It took a minute for Zoey to recognized the substance as honey. The four of them looked up and exclaimed when a glob of honey fell onto them. Zoey winced in disgust at the feeling of the syrup against her skin.
"Honey." Zoey informed.
"What?" Shawn asked, thinking that she was talking to him.
"No, honey!" Zoey told him.
"What?" Shawn questioned in confusion.
"It's honey, idiot!" Zoey shouted.
"So, we're glued to the seats and we're sticky." Cory stated.
"It's pretty good. It's not great." Shawn commented. A loud growling noise made them look up and their eyes widen in horror when they saw a bear entering the room. "Now it's great."
The four of them wasted no time in ripping their pants as they escaped the classroom, jumping out the window.
••••
Shawn, Topanga, Cory and Zoey went straight into the Student Union and explained to Mr. Feeny what had just happened into the classroom not even five minutes ago.
"A bear? A ferocious predator mauling about my classroom? Well, you must have been... glued to your seats!" Mr. Feeny said, laughing as he began walking away from them.
"We could have died!" Zoey shouted.
"What are we gonna do to retaliate? What are we gonna do to get them back? We're gonna get them back, right?" Topanga asked.
"Down, catwoman. Down." Cory insisted calmly.
"We'll get them." Zoey reassured.
"Tell me, tell me. What are we gonna do?" Topanga wondered desperately.
••••
Later in the day, Topanga and Zoey walked into the Student Union, complaining that their hair was still suffering from effects of the prank earlier this morning.
"I still can't get this honey out of my hair." Topanga grumbled.
"Tell me about it." Zoey agreed as they joined their friends. It only took a minute for them to notice the tense air of the group. "What's going on?"
"Oh, as if you didn't know!" Rachel exclaimed accusingly.
"Our team just got even. Their team's being a bad sport." Cory explained.
"Are you two gonna pretend that you don't know what they did to me?" Rachel asked Zoey and Topanga before revealing the enlarge image of herself only in a blanket. "They blew this up for the whole world to see! Fun, huh?"
Zoey's eyes widen in horror as she came to understand the gravity of the situation before she turned to her fiancée and glared at him.
Cory noticed Topanga's displeased expression and chuckled nervously. "The legend continues."
Zoey took a deep breath and walked towards Rachel. "Rachel, Topanga and I are so sorry. We had nothing to do with this."
"Why didn't we have anything to do with this?" Topanga asked fiercely as she glared at the boys.
"Uh0oh." Shawn taunted his best friend.
"I am on your team, remember?" Topanga snapped.
"Uh-oh." Shawn taunted once more.
"We make decisions together, remember?" Topanga growled.
"It was Shawn's idea." Cory said quickly.
Zoey glared at her fiancée, crossing her arms. "Oh was it?"
"Uh-oh!" Cory chimed in unhelpfully.
"But of course. Whenever there's trouble, Shawn can't be too far behind." Topanga commented sourly.
Zoey turned to face Topanga angrily. "Watch it, Topanga."
"It was a nice toast at the wedding, It's Cory and Topanga now. Cory and Topanga are best friends, not Cory, Shawn and Zoey. I thought we were a team." Topanga told Shawn.
"Hey, look, we're all in this together." Shawn reassured, trying to calm the two girls.
"Yeah, for once, I thought we were!" Topanga shouted. "For once, I thought it could be the four of us. That's why I wanted to be on your guys' team. To be part of the legendary team, but I guess I'm not. Rachel, I'm sorry."
"Why are you all taking Rachel's side?" Cory demanded. "You've known me, Shawn and Zoey all your life. You've known Rachel for what? A couple of years?" He the realized how his words came out and turned to Rachel, who looked hurt. "Oh, Rachel. I'm really sorry. That's now how we think of you or anything."
"No, it's not." Shawn agreed.
"How stupid am I?" Rachel asked bitterly. "I actually thought that you guys were my friends."
"Of course we are!" Angela exclaimed.
"Rachel, you were in our wedding." Topanga added.
"I really thought that you guys let me into your special world. I guess the joke really is one me." Rachel said.
Without another word, Rachel walked out of the Student Union, Angela rushing after her.
Blake turned to the group. "And I guess it's no accident the way the teams are picked around here."
"Yeah." Jack agreed. "What a coincidence, huh? Life-longers versus... I guess I really don't know what we are."
Cory glanced at the remaining three. "It's okay. It's okay. It you and you and you and me now."
Zoey sent Shawn, Cory and Topanga an annoyed look before she walked away from them.
___________________
PUBLISHED: March 28, 2019
WORDS: 3055