MAMA - November 30th 2022
Jhope: you ready? i will head off first then and meet you there?
me: yeah, sure - it must be weird for you this year
he nods quietly and heads off with his entourage.
a few minutes pass and I'm finally ready, we walk out to the car and head off.
When i arrived , i was taken straight to the red carpet. i saw hoseok walk out first and waited until i was called out by the directors assistant.
something most people dont know , is that Korea's red carpet events for kpop events isn't like hollywoods, where they all roll up in a car. most people are waiting in a queue , to be called out. sometimes its awkward and sometimes its a chance for friends to catch up.
"go , go , go"
i walked out.
took about 3 minutes with the cameras , then walked to where the presenters were standing
i wasn't really paying attention to what they said because i was distracted by my own thoughts , but they asked me 3 questions
1 - "how does it feel to be here this year , the first year with an audience again , but also the first year without all the BTS members and without having an album released?"
i waited a moment before answering. i didn't want to answer their stupid questions that obviously MNET wrote for the sake of making some sort of a controversy to increase views.
me: well , it feels different , as it does every year. im just hoping the performances are all good and everyone is impressed with HYBE artists.
2 - " what should we expect from you tonight , your performances and outfits?"
me: hopefully , everything is really good. as for my outfits , i am wearing a Chanel dress from a few collections ago and the rest of my outfits , will hopefully be just as nice"
3 - "will we expect the same importance that critics and fans give to your reaction to performances?"
context : every award show , idols want my approval of their performance. i always clap for everyone . if i smile , it means you did okay. if i smile a lot , it means you did good. if i sing along or cheer for you , you are fucking doing amazing. but if i stand up and clap or dance along , you had one of the best performances.
me: uh , perhaps , im not sure , but i just like watching the performances
then they gave me and award and i walked off.
i was the last person on the red carpet so everyone left after me too.
i saw jhope backstage waiting for me . we walked together to the seating area. we were just talking about the performances and stage effects and last minute changes and perfections.
Jhope went to his seat first and a minute later i walked out. we sat in our separate places , obviously fans and delulus online are still not understanding of friendships. so just to make sure stupid things dont go viral and cause us a headache for no reason , we just sit separately.
i was alone , like every year.
but he was alone too....for the first time ever. i wanted to look back at him every few minutes , but i couldn't because it would be too obvious. i was sat right in front of every artist , literally a metre from fans.
the award show began off with this
i didnt smile at all throughout it , but i gave them a standing ovation , which promoted all the other idols to do the same. it was a 10/10 for me. loved it. iconic as fuck. 10/10. could have done with better effects tho.
then it was this
it was a okay performance. i just found the second section of the rap slightly off , this is so something that JYP would try to write. he probably interfered in this a lot.
i couldn't help but smile when hanbin was singing, i still wish he debuted with us, but i couldn't make it happen as easily as i wished
a few awards went out as they set up the stage for the next performance- i got one too , i gave a basic speech and sat back down
i covered my mouth and nose with my hands to hide the horror on my face.
the outfits were a 1/10. wtf is going on. and their hairstylist just made the whole thing way more messier and distracting. i might just break out into tears...the phone concept was a 10/10 , but the kids letter blocks disgusted me. they themselves were great performances but oh my god.[overall a 1/10]
a few more awards went out after this .
i will never forgive whoever is in charge of their outfits....oh my god the backup dancers, their hair - oh my go. at least the dance is good and the choreo is a 7/10.WTF WAS THE CONCEPT OF THE OUTFITS?? i think it was a pathetic attempt on hiphop judging by the props? god help their managers when i get back to the hybe office , im taking over their next award ceremony. oh my god and the background is just - THIS IS ALL OVER THE PLACE WTF. i clapped at the end , but there was a single smile on my face. [overall = 2/10]
this was average , like it was a good performance.[overall = 5/10]
the second section of their performance began. this was a relatively impressive performance.[overall = 7.5/10]
although one thing i am sick of is the camera director repeatedly zooming in on my face and reactions.
wow , she really is their favourite , all though everyone knows. yeah it was an average performance , although i liked the dance break and remix [ overall a 7/10]
the second section began. i realised how badly their outfits were sewn together, sheer fabric is not meant to be noticed and it looks too basic for an award show. i liked how their backup dancers were incorporated. the mirror choice was a bad one.the dance break and remix was quite good though.[7/10]
some award went out after this , and IVE won. i stood up as always and bowed to them as they passed. i didnt really look at their faces , but i heard the face screaming "why did she bow!!!" quite a few times. i didnt even react , it wouldn't be the first time an artist who debuted after me doesn't bow back. but this will definitely hurt their image.
after this performance , i was called backstage by a staff member (it was an excuse for me to leave so i could see Enhyphen). once i got to their greenroom , i congratulated them and spoke to them for a few minutes. then yoona took me to Zico's greenroom. i spoke to him for a bit about his performance and then left his room too and went to my greenroom.
me: could i just get a touchup on my lips and eyes please.
by the time i went back , G-idle were just beginning their performance.
soyeon is about to perform the shit out of that stage. okay her outfit is a bit shit , but whatever her presence , hair , rap and walk overpowered it. i was soo excited i just sang along. oh my god she is twerking , i shouted "WOOW". it got to shuhua's section and my mouth dropped , she was so pretty oh my god. i love Yuqi's voice so much. the outfits did not do them justice [8/10]
the second section began. i sang along god i hate their outfits but i understand the concept and direction they were going in. i said the swear words in the song i dont even care. Shuhua's hairstylist needs to give me their number right now. it was going so well until Jaurim came out , my hype decreased so quickly. [7/10]
a few more awards went out , i won one and bts won another.
i was really looking forward to this performance , this group specialises in performing. outfits and stage and concept are perfect so far. choreo is great too. i was completely mesmerised.[8.5/10]
i hate this song , but whatever. thank god for the pre-chorus. the dance break was really good , but no one will forgive their company for that chorus.[still around a 7/10]
i remember when he asked me to organise this collaboration stage.[7/10 overall]
i stood up and sang along to it. everyone was looking forward to this performance. [7/10].
as soon as it ended i was called backstage, i ran to my greenroom to get ready to perform last. the next 20 minutes were just awards that i wasn't nominated for and a variety of other things.
i had basic makeup and my hair was slightly wavy, and i wore pastel pink heels.
i waited at the side of the stage as i watched hoseok performing.
it was a moving performance, but i only got to see the last few seconds [ 8/10]
i watched from the sidelines with my glasses on , i didnt even care. a diamond diaries camerawoman filmed me . i worked so hard on this with him. im so glad it came out so welll[it was a fucking 10/10.] probably the best performance of the night. but fuck whoever was in charge of cameras. another award went out and i began practising my dances and performance.
then it was my turn on stage. i did the first performance and i was just 2 songs with dance breaks and remixes. nothing crazy.
then the lights turned off and i fell on the ground to take off my shoes and switch them.
i had like 1 minute.
i rushed to put on the ballet shoes as the stage designs changed behind me too.. once i was finally ready i stood up and saw my partner waiting for me. i took of my microphone pack and threw it towards one of the backup dancers who then ran offstage.
i stretched for a few seconds and said " i will either fuck it up or demolish it" in english.
it was just us two on an empty stage and he was a dancer from the Korean National Ballet. i had only practices this three times in the last two days , twice with random dancers and the third time with him.
the dance felt like air and a leaf performing a dance, we just flowed well. once this bit finished , i had a few seconds where he ran offstage and i started the second part, which was solo.
my lungs were absolutely destroyed, i wheezed out loud until the lights began getting darker and then i just collapse to the floor. one of my guards ran onstage to help me up , he slowly walked offstage with my and by that time they were giving an award out.
"And the award for MAMA Platinum Award goes to Diamond"
me: fuck
i slowly turned back around , as i was still gasping for air.
i looked at the 7 stepped stairs in front of me and slowly walked up them as cameras were now facing me. i greeted the presenter and thanked them. i held the award as i lowered the microphone.
a few seconds went by as i still tried to breathe
me: sorry i need to catch some air
fans cheered
i gave the generic section of my speech and then paused for some more air
me: you know , sometimes i think to myself about how funny it is that life makes sure i end up in certain situations and scenarios - and no matter how much i think and prepare and plan for situation , the only thing i have heard about humans is that : the only predictable thing about humans is that we are unpredictable. i think this applies to me , to my friends and to my fans. i dont think you guys should worry about the uncertainty that lies ahead , and i hope you can understand that at the end of the day , it will all be fine...it will all work out well , because even if we pause for a moment , everything around us carries on moving...[i began tearing up] once again , thank you to all the staff members , my friends and my fans , you guys really deserved this award far more than anyone else i know. i hope you guys understand how much you all mean to me even though i can never express it well enough.
one of my staff members ran onstage to take the award and then handed me a piece of paper to present the last award of the night.
me: now , it is my turn to present the last award of the night , which is also the Platinum Award. i read a bit off the card and then opened it , i smiled and teared up a little ] "BTS"
Jhope came up and began his speech. i stood to the side applauding him.
but then he whipped out his phone and said "jin has something to say". he picked up the call and started off with the generic speech that we teach them to say before getting personal... it took like 20 seconds and a few jokes before Jin said "you won't see me for a while... i will go and return safely".
the smile dropped off my face and i stopped clapping. i completely shut down.
hope's smile dropped too and everyone could tell that we both just shut down. but he quickly returned to real life and i just stood frozen. completely.
he finished his speech and i didnt even realise until he shouted my name. i shutdown mentally so badly that i didnt even realise he walked right past me to the stairs.
i slowly walk towards the stairs and get led backstage to where yoona is waiting for me with an iPad and some cameramen for diamond diaries (youtube vlogs). by this time Jhope had been taken to his green room to get ready to go home.
but i hold on to the wall as i talk to the cameramen for a bit and then i asked them to turn it off, as soon as they put the cameras down, i turned to yoona and one the bodyguards. david stood in front of them and next to yoona
me: i dont feel good, i - i - my - my breathing is normal again. i was okay a while ago , but i dont feel good.
yoona looked up from her iPad for one second before shouting "grab her and take her to the nearest hybe greenroom NOW! GO GO GO!"
david , my chief of security, knew exactly what she meant. he instinctively grabbed me and held me like a baby before running into the nearest HYBE greenroom.
yoona: everyone needs to leave this room now! only diamonds staff!
yoona instructed the staff in the room to leave and then david sat me upright on a seat.
david: we need all personnel to leave and 2 guards by the door, you and you , do not let anyone in. YOU! go get the medical team from diamonds greenroom NOW!
YOONA POV
david and i gave her water and stroked her back as we tried calming her down.
we spoke gently and softly to her in english and then korean, switching wherever it felt best.
for two minutes i watched in sheer horror and fear as she had a panic attack. she wasn't even crying , just breathing like a broken record. nothing we did worked, there wasn't even the things we needed here.
after the two minutes alone ended , eunhas personal medical team busted into the room and gave her what she needed. they managed to calm her breathing down to her normal resting heart rate after about five minutes.
the room was dead silent.
its almost ironic really
here you have someone , one of the richest in the world , decked in head to toe in the best and prettiest things costing over $5000 minimum ... and you would think she is having the time of her life in a position that people would kill for , with talents and responsibilities others will spend centuries not even close to where she is...and yet...we tend to forget just how human and vulnerable she is.
i knew she was taking him going to the military hard , but not this badly...people leaving her , whether that is purposely or not , temporarily or forever...it has never been this bad. normally she would bottle it up and deal with it behind close doors in the comfort of her private room...but she is having one of her worst panic attacks , after almost a year of not having one , because he is leaving.
i said out loud " thank you for your assistance, we will see you at the office tomorrow" , cue for them to leave. once they left, we all sat in almost complete silence.
eunha: well that was fucking embarrassing , hahaha
david: i mean , terrifying more like - but i wouldn't call it that
eunha: whose room is this?
david: i think it is enhyphen? they are just coming up to the door now, we told them to wait outside for a bit...all the MNET staff signed NDA's , dont worry...and we made sure all photos with you in the background were deleted.
we could hear the TXT members outside and jay said " who is in there...oh diamond?" quite loudly
eunha: we should let them get changed and go home
before we could even say anything to her , she was at the door.
yoona and i watched as we stood behind her , she effortlessly said she had an "asthma attack"...she hasn't had one since she was 9 years old... then she spoke to all the staff and the enhyphen members as if nothing happened and it was routine. but you know what , no one even cared...they were all far too mesmerised with how beautiful she was and what a sweet talker she was... i'm convinced she could talk her way out of everything.
within minutes she grabbed her coat and bag and asked to be driven home without even changing into new clothes.
-------
Jin Enlistment [diamond POV]
it was a day we all tried to avoiding , and the dull weather really summed up everyone's mood.
i hadn't slept at all. i got showered , did my hair and got changed. as i did my makeup , i tried to avoid crying - waterproof makeup it is then...oh and i have those meetings afterwards - fuck.
i gave snow her breakfast and had some apple juice before i left. once David picked me up , we headed to the office to pick up yoona. we saw the other members there , along with Jin and his family. i spoke to them for a bit before we left. the enlistment site was over 60km from seoul, so it was quite a drive. our car only had me yoona and david. she was doing some work and i just looked outside
yoona: i'm glad you choose this sit on purpose and at this time , because all the fans who are students or working cant leave to come there - especially that far away.
i nodded
once we finally pulled up to the site , i saw all the security teams and companies i called. the entire area was covered and there weren't more than 50 fans. this is really good!!! there was media everywhere , even foreign media companies.
i was in the last car that pulled into the site.
once we got there i hesitated stepping out as guard opened the door from the outside.
i saw all the elite military personal were waiting for me - i greeted them and apologised for the chaos. the understood , it wasn't their first celebrity , but to quote one of them " although we haven't had anyone on this level."
me: thank you for everything! i hope the extra security companies i called were not too much - i just wanted to make sure that nothing goes wrong today
one of the sergeants hesitated before saying "not at all, thank you for doing that. We worked with the fire department and local hospital to make sure there are emergency health services on site in case something happens. the regional government have helped us in dispatching 60 task force officers to prevent the illegal sale of goods. Not to mention the local police are dispatching over 270 riot police with officers who'll be able to speak in multiple languages... but it is still quite crowded, not because of fans but media companies and sasaengs"
me: well , im glad it is all being dealt with well and that my overthinking has worked
after speaking to them for a bit i joined the other members and Jin's family , we were taken to a private corner where we got to say our goodbyes.
the members spoke first and i watched from a slight distant. everyone was crying and tearing up. they took a few photos of him and a few photos with each other. then it was my turn, i asked a few guards to cover us as we were talking so media companies wouldn't be able take any photos
me: well shit.
jin: we are actually here , huh
me: glad to know you haven't cried yet!
jin: it looks like it will snow soon, i know you were really excited this year!
me: stop distracting me!! i genuinely wish you the best, and if anyone pisses you off or annoys you slightly or in anyway - call me and i will go to jail happily after beating them the fuck up
he teared up
jin: you dont need to protect me anymore , its the military , you have no reach there , it will be fine , besides i heard you are pulling some strings to make sure only nice people will be there.
me: fuck - i wish no-one had to do this. its hard for everyone , really. but more so for you guys. they are asking you guys to go in like ten minutes and i want to give you time with your family , so think of it this way: when you leave , you will be at the stage in life where you can get married and have kids and i will literally buy you every type of food you want and buy you anything you want from anywhere - and - and we could finally spend proper time together because my schedules will be more relaxed and -
jin: and maybe go fishing together even though you hate it so much?
me: ugh, fine
jin: and i know you find it hard to be separated from people you love , as do i , so when i leave remember : i will always be your oldest brother and im always here for you and i think by then you will maybe be in a relationship. message me regularly!!!
me: trust me i will be!!! and i will be updating you on everything that happens everyday!!
i gave him the tightest hug, he kissed my forehead and i said goodbye
jin: and thank you for always being around me this past month , i know how many schedules you cancelled to be besides me when you could
he was crying at this point and so was i - the guards who faced away from us, to protect our privacy as we said our goodbyes, dispersed.
i let the members say their actual goodbyes to him on their own and i waited a few metres away. the Bangtan Bomb videographers stopped filming and it really wasn't my place to be there. they are my older brothers and i love them to heaven and back , but they need some time to themselves. i will never have the bond with them , that they have with each other.
as i watched them talking to him , with his family now there and all the cameras turned off , i could see that jungkook was doing what i do : quiet , cold and distant when he feels emotionally troubled. he was trying not to cry and he kept his hat low, low so that you couldn't see his eyes.yoona and david stood by me as i was watching , they didnt know how to react. when he got the final call to go into his line , we all stood by each other. the members were milliseconds away from full on tears.
i looked at him and bit my tongue to stop crying , people were filming everywhere. the squadron leader called them into the building as tears silently rolled down my face. im so thankful im wearing this bucket hat that covered half my face and this facemask. i really dont want people to see me right now.
me: [ i turned to the members and his family ] guys im so sorry but i have a business call in a minute that i need to take , im going to go into my car for a second but i will see you later
i rushed into my car - yoona , david and 2 of my bodyguards fast walked behind me , silently confused.
i opened the car door and sat in my seat.
david tried to open the door , but yoona told him to give me a minute. all my staff stood outside the door as i watched from inside the blacked out windows.
one second passed
i breathed in and my throat was sour and my heart hurt
another second passed
another second passed.
i can't get that image of him out of my head - he was crying. when i spoke to him and he knew no one else was watching and that last moment when he left.
yoona pov:
i stood in front of the car door and faced away. david stood next to me and squeezed my hand.
eunha's security guards stood a few metres away with their head down.
it took three seconds before i heard anything
and when i did hear something - it was uncontrollably sobbing and tears.
we waited a few minutes. she didnt stop
me: david , you stay here , i will go and say goodbye on behalf of eunha to the members and jin's family.
i walked over to where they were standing
me: eunha and I would like to apologise for the call and having to leave you all. the call was out of her control and she tried to push it back as much as she could.
they all said that it was fine and that they understood.
i knew they understood what i really meant.
to eunha , jin was slightly different. when she came here and left all those agencies and was far from her family. Jin , once he was scouted , became the person she would rely on , for help and support. her family never supported her and she was far from her grandparents...so he became her substitute older brother who took on the role of a parent and taught her basic things you would think that anyone would know , but really it is something that family has to teach them.
and so.. for her to loose him , its her biggest fear coming true : losing the people she loves or them leaving her (whether by choice or not).
anyone would say it is fair that what jin means to eunha , is exactly the same as what he means to the members ; jungkook and taehyung especially. although , they do not have the same fear of losing him that she does.
i stood by the members and Jin's family as they spoke to each other. once they were saying their goodbyes , the members realised that for once , someone would be alone in the car. normally at least 2 or 3 of them are together. sometimes a member sits alone if they have an individual schedule...but now its because Jin is no longer here with them.
RM had an individual schedule , so he had his own car. Hoseok had an individual shoot , so he had his own car too. Taehyung had a recording in Eastern Seoul , so he had his own car. they each had the car that had enough seats and space for outfits , makeup and an extra staff they needed
So , jimin , Suga and Jungkook were left. neither wanted to be alone, but you cant fit 3 people in a car built for 2 people in the back.
Jungkook: [ to me] can i just ride with Eunha? she is alone too...
me: umm she is a bit busy right now , so i dont know if you would want that.
jimin: me and suga are going back to his house anyway, and i think jungkook wanted to pick something up that he left at eunha's house today anyway.
i knew eunha would be okay with it , but she would want him to see her after her breakdown
me: Jungkook , you are welcome to join us in the car , obviously you always are. you might have to wait a few minutes for her call to end.
jungkook: that is fine , i can wait.
me: all of you wait here a second , im just going walk Jin's family to their cars.
everyone headed off to their cars, i left the members momentarily to walk Jin's family to the cars the company provided for them. His parents were in one car , his brother's family in the other car.
i said goodbye to them and promised them eunha will visit them individually over christmas.
i turned around to go back to the members , but they were dispersed. they were all heading to their cars. i looked for jungkook , hoping he doesn't go to sit in the car whilst eunha is still crying.
by the time i spotted him , he had opened her door and went to sit in the car.
i ran, as fast as i could to the car
me: david!!! what the fuck!! i told you not to let anyone in!
david: [confused] he said you told him to talk to her!!!
me: oh my god! obviously i wouldn't do that! i literally told you she needed like 15 minutes alone!
i went to open the door , but as soon as it opened for a second i could hear them both crying. i shut the door again.
david held my hand and said "lets give them a few more minutes."
i nodded and began telling the guards to go back into their cars and that we would head off in a few minutes.
once eunha texted me "lets go" , david and i got in the car and we drove off. it was a silent drive.
jungkook and eunha looked out of the windows whilst david and i spoke to each other about the days activities.
once we were about 20 minutes away from the office, eunha sighed and hesitated before saying something
eunha: can we...can we cancel my schedules for today?
me: i dont think so... we already cancelled this one last week. besides , its short and the schedules afterwards are short too.
jungkook: what are you doing today?
eunha: i have an interview , 2 fittings , a recording and then 3 meetings. back to back. the interview is with Vogue Japan, the fittings are for 2 award show ceremonies, which i dont even have the heart to go to now. the recording is part of a VCR and should take like 3 hours to record....then the first meeting is about tours for one of the groups , the second meeting is about Le Serrafim (the members will be there too) and then the 3rd is ...uh...i cant remember - oh wait this is for the New Years schedule.
Jungkook: oh my god - when do you finish by?
me: i think diamond will finish by around...maybe around midnight? and also you forgot the final meeting for the Met Gala in May. so 4 meetings.
Jungkook: how about afterwards we go for a walk or something , i will pick you up. and i will collect snow for you.
me: i can schedule that in for her , for around 12:15?
david: are you taking any guards?
Jungkook: i dont think so? we will have bam and snow, so no one will bother us, besides i want to take the Han river walk that Jin Hyung said he liked.yeah?
eunha: sure - whatever works for you. But David can you make sure that you are tracking my location in case i ask you to send an emergency security team, maybe security team 2?
Jungkook's POV
i got to the office at around midnight.
i took the elevator upstairs with the 2 dogs and saw that eunha was still on the phone as i looked through the glass - she massaged her head with one hand and began writing something on a notepad.
When she ended the call , she threw her phone across the room and screamed "for fucks sake", luckily it landed on her sofa. when she threw herself back onto her chair , she closed her eyes and i used this moment to enter the room.
after giving me a drink , she put on her coat and we headed to the parking , into my car.
eunha: can we stop by my house so i can quickly get changed , i was already seen in this outfit today so i dont want someone in public to recognise me.
me: sure! why dont we just leave my car there too and we can get someone to drop us off at the place we start out walk?
we agreed on that and she got changed at her house.
eunha: if you need a bigger coat or anything like that i just got PR packages from Acne Studios and North Face , so i have like 3 jackets.
me: no im okay thanks , is your garage flooded with packages again? like every year?
eunha: yeah, the packages are taking over my guest rooms too now. im just not going to open them until christmas day cause i will be alone or busy at work like every year
a driver dropped us off at the start of the walking route Jin hyung told me about once, it would take us three hours to finish and we would end up back at yoona's house.
we started off our walk talking about raising dogs and how busy our schedules are. eunha has a dog minder and sometimes her friends look after snow, but most of the time she takes snow with her on her schedules. i get to look after bam most of the time , but sometimes my brother or my parents looked after him.
me: we should listen to some music - i can give you an AirPod and i will play off of your playlist.
she nods as i hand her an AirPod
Eunha / Diamond POV
after about an hour , i decided it was safe enough to let snow off her leash. she never behaves in a way that concerns me , but sometimes some people dont like it when dogs are off their leash.but because it was nearly 1am, barely anyone was around.
we spent the next 30 minutes talking about things that we would miss as we get older, rare experiences and funny stories. it was just random and spontaneous conversations.
once we reached a 7/11, it nearly hit 2am.
jungkook and i checked our hats covered half our face and our masks for the other half.
we went in and saw a 20 something year old female student. snow and bam waited for us outside. we quietly went into the back of the store to grab whatever we wanted. once out basket was full we went to the till, our order totalled to around 20,000 won (give or take 20 dollars). 4 banana milkshakes , 2 cokes , 2 ramens , 2 triangle kimbaps and 2 ice creams.
we paid without talking , hoping our voices wouldn't be recognised.
the girl looked too tired to even care. once we paid , we quickly made our ramen and took them outside. he held the bag of stuff as Bam and Snow played with each other in the grass. by now we sat at a picnic area by the Han River, as we ate our food, we watched the lights in the distance sparkle.
once we finished with that , we had our ice creams and banana milkshakes and got up to continue the walk. at some point we got pretty emotional and just started talking about Jin again.
jungkook: we have to go through that 5 more times
me: uhhh - no. i go through it 6 more times
he went quiet
me: we will be fine
jungkook: i think we will be too
i stopped walking , he stopped in front of me and turned around.
we stood in silence for a whole minute until he said "its okay , its okay to not be okay."
i waited a few seconds and said "you too....i hope you know that you don't have to pretend to be okay in front of me"
jungkook: i have never pretended anything with you
me:... i know its hard with me being Bighit - or now we call it HYBE's CEO...and as someone you know is younger than you...i know you sometimes try to act differently and i understand...but ...
he stepped closer to me, the tree near the path where we stood was perfectly covered in snow (actual snow , not my dog's name lol)
jungkook: but?
me: i - i hope that you know...
why was i stuttering ...i never stutter or get shy , wtf??
jungkook: that i know?
me: i hope that as a human ... i hope that i can be the person you can rant to and complain to and call when it gets too much.
he lowered his mask and smiled at me.
jungkook: that must be the first time you have been shy...and just know that i understand that.
i nodded quietly, he gently lowered my mask and put his hands back in his pockets
jungkook: eunha... i hope that you call me and text me at times you can't take it anymore
i smiled at him.
me: like today in the car?
jungkook: [laughing] yeah , like today in the car...but to be fair i think we both were crying pretty badly.
my phone rang
me: sorry i have to take this , its yoona
he nods
i picked up her call and she didn't even say "hello".
after asking for me to put her on speakerphone, she got straight to the point and said " a tip went out to paparazzi that you and jungkook are in han park, i think you have about two minutes before someone gets to you guys , so get the dogs and head to the company car we are sending now."
jungkook rolled his eyes
i responded "okay , we are going now , check my location and send the car to the nearest road, which i can actually see from here."
as soon as the call ended , jungkook and i were ran in the snow filled field towards the company car , snow and bam followed behind us.
as we caught our breath in our seats , not even one minute went by before our phones started ringing like crazy.