"I don't remember your place looking like this!" I said as I entered Kelly's home. The placement of the furniture and the new paintings on the wall were all different.
"Tim and I got bored with it and wanted to change things around a little. Besides, it's been awhile since you've even been by to visit me." She gave me a side-eye while I just chuckled and shooed her away.
"You know things been crazy with me these past few months. I do need to visit you and Gabrielle more often. Our group chats aren't enough sometimes."
I sat the few bags from Costco down onto the kitchen's counter. We had spent majority of our morning shopping for new clothes and decor for our homes. We made Costco our last stop since I had a membership and Kelly needed a bundle of food items.
"I've been meaning to ask," She expressed while putting the few groceries away, "How has everything been with Angel?"
I took a seat at the barstool of her kitchen island and opened the plate of leftover food we had gotten for lunch.
"It's been great! He just started his last semester of college so he's really excited about that. We both been busy so we haven't talked much, but I've been making sure he's taken care of."
"I'm so happy to hear that," She squealed, "He's so freaking tall and handsome! How does it feel?"
A smile spread across my face, "It really does feel amazing Kelly. You know about all I've been through. I never thought I'll ever see him again.. The shit feels so surreal."
"You literally prayed for this moment!" She said before joining me at the island, "Like, it makes me so emotional thinking about all you've been through B. You didn't deserve it."
"Don't make me cry..."
She pat away her own tears, "I'm sorry. I'm just crying tears of joy right now. You're a mom! And you have that glow about you! How has Josh been dealing with all of this?"
I sighed thinking about these past few days with Josh. After that big argument we had, we put our feelings aside and enjoyed a movie with Madison. Everyday since then has been awkward between us.
"That doesn't seem to be a good sigh." She mumbled.
I immediately shook my head, "It's not. We've had a lot of conflict these past few days. We barely said two words to each other. We haven't had any form of touch, or anything like that."
Kelly frowned, "Damn, that's unlike y'all. What kinda conflicts?"
"The usual; Of course he's still hounding me about having kids. I found out through his mom that he's not happy about that, and with Angel now around I guess it makes it even harder for him. He doesn't express his true feelings to me and I don't understand why. We're still planning the wedding, but we both had thoughts that maybe we should wait.. I don't know what's gotten to us."
I could feel her eyes on me as I picked at my food. Kelly knew me better than I knew myself sometimes and I could sense that she knew I was keeping something from her.
I wanted to avoid telling her my big secret. My goal is to take my infidelity to the grave with me. I already knew she'd be hurt and disappointed if I revealed the truth.
"Mm, so Josh is a little triggered now that Angel is around?" She questioned, "That's very hypocritical of him seeing that he has a daughter and you've dealt with all of that crazy ass baby mama drama!"
"Exactly.." I mumbled.
"I definitely don't think Angel is the issue.. I believe Angel's father is the issue. Josh has always been a bit insecure. You and Jay are somewhat cordial, right?"
I slowly nodded and watched as she sat up and searched the fridge for a bottle of water. She grabbed one for me as well and set it in front of me.
"So maybe he thinks with this guy he barely knows around — a guy you have a lot of history with might I add. Maybe he feels as if pushing a baby onto you will prevent Jay from getting any ideas, ya know? I love Josh, but you know how guys are.. They like to mark their territory when they feel threatened by another man's presence."
"But that shouldn't even be an issue," Kelly continued, "Jay has done enough damage..."
Again, I slowly nodded my head. Suddenly the tension in the room was thick. I didn't have much to say while Kelly looked as if I should have at least something to say.
I continued to pick at my food as I fell deep into my thoughts. As much as I wanted to keep this secret to myself, I needed to talk to someone. Even though I knew she'd be disappointed in me, she's the only person I could trust.
"Can I tell you something?" I slightly pushed my food away and looked into her eyes.
She looked frightened at what I would say next, but she nodded her head anyway. "You can tell me anything.."
Tears streamed down my cheek before I could even mumble a word. I broke down crying but quickly gathered myself to finally tell her the truth.
"Will you be mad at me?"
"I can't promise that, but whatever it is.. I'll be there for you, right or wrong."
"Okay," I sniffled. I cleared my throat while fidgeting with my hands, "I slept with him.."
The room became quiet. The television that was playing commercials seemed to suddenly go on mute. Her chewing came to a halt and her widened eyes stared back at me in shock.
"You—You slept with... Jay?"
"Yes. I feel so bad Kelly! I feel so, so bad! I fucked up! I'm so fucked up, I don't know what to do. I don't know how I could let it happen. I'm so stupid!"
She quickly ran to my aid and pulled me into her arms. I cried into her chest, desperately waiting for a response. When I lifted my head, she was staring into space with her eyes still widened with shock.
"Can you please say something?"
"I really don't know what to say Beyoncé. I'm in such disbelief. I—I thought you was over him? I thought—I thought you hated — Oh my God, B."
I used the sleeve of my cardigan to wipe away my tears, "I do! I do hate him! I hate the way he treated me, but it's like... The moment we reconnected, I could only remember the good times we shared."
"Really? All the good times y'all shared over 20 years ago?! What about all the times he cheated on you and all the times he belittled you by comparing you to bitches that you were far better than?! I don't know B, how about the time he blatantly told you he wasn't ready to be a father and left you alone throughout your entire pregnancy while he lived his fuckin' life?!"
I nodded, "I know..."
"Do you really? How can you give your body back to a man like that? How can you treat Josh like that? I know he's not the most perfect guy, but he's done so much to get you out of that dark place only for you to sleep with the same man that put you in that dark place! I love you, but that is wrong on so many levels! That's wrong B!"
"I know it is... I've been beating myself up about it for months."
"Months?" Kelly emphasized, "How many times did you sleep with him?"
"I lost count... Too many times. I feel so stupid!" I cried in my hands until I could no longer produce tears.
Kelly could only stare at me in disgust. She shook her head and put her own head down to silently cry.
"I don't know what I was thinking," I bawled, "I let our history make up false scenarios in my head. I thought about how different life would be if he didn't walk away from my pregnancy. I hate the way he treated me, but I do love him and I never stopped loving him, but he gave me no choice but to move on with my life."
"And what about Josh?"
"I love Josh! I love him so much Kelly. He has treated me better than Jay ever could, but.."
"But?" She exclaimed, "There's no but! This is the man you're vowing to spend the rest of your life with. How do you expect for him to react to this?"
There was a few seconds of silence between us before I shrugged my shoulders, "That's why I'm not telling him anything. I don't plan on sleeping with Jay again. I just want to act like this never happened."
She huffed, "Oh, like that's going to be easy for you. Jay obviously has your head fucked up and you think you'll be able to act like it never happened? Y'all have a kid together!"
"Angel is 19! Jay and I don't need to communicate when it comes to him."
"19, yet he's still a child! If anything goes wrong, God forbid, you and Jay will have to communicate B. How do you expect to do that if you still have feelings for this man?"
She shook her head while I sat in silence wondering why she was always right about everything. Sadly, I did grow feelings for Jay. It was easy to mask those feelings after all these years since we weren't in contact, but now we were.
"You think Josh know?" She asked, taking the empty seat next to me.
"God, I hope not. He says all the time that Jay still has feelings for me, which I know is true.. He just doesn't know how I feel."
Kelly heavily sighed as we shared a moment of silence. She finally looked my way, "So.. How was the sex?"
I rolled my eyes and chuckled a little at her asking me that, "It's okay.."
"Has to be more than okay since this has happened more times than you can keep count!"
"Well yes, the sex is amazing. I hate that it is because now I'm just letting good sex come in between my future with a man I truly love. I wish I could take it back Kelly, I really do."
She grabbed my hand, "I know you do. Don't let sex be the reason you lose something good with Josh. I love you and as much as I hate this, I have your back regardless... But please be smart about this B. Don't let this man ruin your life again."
I hugged her, thanking God she has always been such a good friend to me.
"I love you Kelly. Thank you for always listening and understanding me."
__________
Angel
I drove around Baton Rouge with my music blasting to the latest NBA Youngboy album. I was in my own world, enjoying the slight high from the vape pen infused with weed.
School was going well for me and I didn't have to worry about funds since my beats were taken off, and both of my biological parents were adamant on sending me money every few weeks.
My mom, Charlotte didn't know much about that so I kept it on the low. I made sure to keep some of it in my savings just for emergencies also.
I felt a hand caress my thigh and looked over at my passenger princess, Normani. She looked beautiful as her hair blew in the wind. Even without makeup on, she was drop dead gorgeous. I couldn't get over how lucky I was.
We've grown closer since the first day we exchanged numbers. Things started off slow for us, since she was worried about me having chicks on the side. That worry seemed to go away once we had sex for the first time.
I let it be known that I wasn't with anyone else, but that wasn't fully the truth. I still hung out with Chloe from time to time, but I was smart enough to wrap it up whenever I sexed her and Normani. The last thing I needed was to catch something or have two girls pregnant at once.
Normani's hand groped my dick and I instantly shot my eyes at her, "Look at you trying to get freaky while we in the middle of traffic."
She shrugged and ran her hands inside my shorts to gently stroke me. I could only shake my head at how she can get. It wouldn't be the first time she tried being risky.
"Are we going back to my place or yours?" She asked seductively against my ear.
"Yours." I answered immediately. Even though I was technically single, Chloe knew where I lived so I tried not to bring Normani around my place often.
Having multiple girls definitely wasn't for the weak.
As I drove to Normani's place, my phone rang in my lap. I was thankful the call didn't appear on the display.
I turned it over and noticed the ID Mom C, short for Charlotte. With Beyoncé in my life, it was hard to differentiate between the two since I had both of their names listed as Mom in my phone.
"Hey ma!" I answered right away.
"Hi baby, where are you? Are you busy?"
I looked towards Normani that had taken her hands out my shorts since my mom was on the phone. "Not really, what's up?"
"Great. Uh, I have someone at the house I'd like for you to meet. They won't be in town for very long so they'll love to see you while they are here. You think you can come over for a few?"
I frowned, "Who is it?"
"Can you please just come by and I'll introduce you then!"
I sighed. I didn't have a clue on who she'd like for me to meet. I agreed anyway since it was hard saying no to her, and Beyoncé.
"Alright. Give me about 25 minutes."
"Great. See you then."
Soon as the call ended, Normani huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, "Let me guess, you have other plans?"
"I do, but I can come back later to spend some time with you. No reason to be upset beautiful."
I gripped her chin and placed a quick peck to her lips. We made it to her place in a short amount of time and I made sure to walk her up.
"Seriously Angel, I want to see you tonight."
I pulled her into a hug and passionately kissed her lips, "I'll call you later. Just don't fall asleep."
"I won't! Be safe."
Once I was back into my car, I let out a frustrated groan. I liked Normani, but I liked Chloe too. They both had things about them that was different from one another that I found attractive.
I wanted a girlfriend but I couldn't have them both. It was hard trying to decide which one I wanted to make mine for good. The longer I thought about it, the more the idea of staying single seemed perfectly fine to me.
Since I couldn't make them both my girlfriend, I'll enjoy them both until I was ready to finally make that decision.
I made it to my mom's house minutes after and immediately noticed a car I've never seen before. She knew I was never fond of meeting new people so I didn't understand why she was trying to surprise me.
I slowly made my way inside and heard the sounds of a male voice. I couldn't make the voice out so I continued to walk further until I saw the two sitting across from one another at the dinner table.
"Angel!" She greeted and walked towards me with a nervous smile before I could even get a good look at the guy.
"Hey," I responded, "What's going on?"
She gave me a soft smile and patted my chest, "I want you to meet someone that I've known for a very long time, and I'm sure you will see more often now."
"Okay?" I chuckled a bit at how nervous she seemed. She moved out of my way and led me closer to the man.
"Baby, meet Mathew! Mathew, this is Angel!"
I frowned at the mention of that name and the fact that his face seemed slightly familiar. He reached his hand out for mine and shook it with a nice grip.
"Nice to finally meet you. God, you're so tall! Just like your father."
I moved my hand away from his and cleared my throat, "Not to be rude, but who are you again?"
"I'm Mathew, Beyoncé's father."
I took a few steps back hearing that and looked towards my mom. I've never felt more disappointed in her in my life.
Knowing the stories Beyoncé has told me, this man was a monster. Why was Charlotte introducing me to this fucked up man?
My first thought was to walk away but my mom instantly knew my next move. She stopped me before I could and looked me into the eyes.
"Hear him out! Please! Just listen to what he has to say."
I shrugged her arm away from mine, "I'm not listening to nothing he has to say. Who abandons and disrespect their child just because she gets pregnant? This man is fuckin' sick in the head!"
Mathew sighed and sat back unbothered by my words, "Son, just listen to me please. It's about time you hear the truth."
"Nah, I know the truth already. You was the worst father to her! The fuck I want to listen to you for?"
"Because my daughter is lying to you!" He exclaimed, "I'm sure Beyoncé has told you all bad things about me, but as her father, I've done nothing but protect her and love her."
"Oh, so giving your grandchild away knowing it was against your daughter's wishes is protecting her? Fuck outta here!"
Charlotte grabbed my hand but I pulled away. "Don't be disrespectful Angel! I didn't raise you to talk that way to your elders!"
I sighed and clenched my teeth to keep myself from cursing her out too. She was right; I wasn't raised that way so I kept my mouth closed and listened to whatever this guy had to say.
"Can you take a seat?" He asked. I did so but made sure to keep enough distance between them both.
"Now like I was saying, I've done nothing but love and protect my daughter. Just like any father, I was distraught knowing my child was pregnant at 15. Yes, I was upset and angry with her but regardless, I loved her. I let her make the decision to keep you or give you up for an adoption. Ultimately, she wanted to have an abortion but it was too late for that."
I sarcastically chuckled, "I don't believe you. I read her diary already and she said nothing like that! She's nothing like that."
"Beyoncé suffered from depression at a young age," He continued, "She knew having a child that young would only make her more depressed. She wanted to have the adoption so I let her. I even have proof of the consent papers she signed."
He handed me papers from his jacket pocket. I stared at it for awhile to see they were indeed adoption papers with her signature printed on each page.
I slid the papers to him and could feel a lump forming in my throat as I began to speak, "And? That's not enough proof for me. Consent has to be received for any process like that."
He sighed, "You don't get it, I see. If you looked through the paperwork, all of Charlotte's information was printed inside. Yet, my daughter claims she didn't know of your whereabouts. If she truly didn't want to give you away, don't you think she would have been came to look for you? I mean, we both have copies of the same paperwork. She knew Charlotte's information was inside. She knew what number to call and what address to find you. She simply didn't want to because she never wanted you in the first place."
I clenched my jaws and reached for the papers again. Indeed all of my mom's information was printed inside, even a copy of her photo identification from back then.
"So y'all saying she's been lying to me?" I asked, feeling the tears in my eyes. Beyoncé would never do that to me.
Mathew nodded, "I know this is hard for you.. After everything you've been through, you deserve the truth. My daughter has dealt with depression and mental health disorders since she was a child. Did she even tell you she was treated in a psych ward? It's hard to believe anything she say. Her mother and I felt it was best to give you to someone like Charlotte, that could give you a better life and that was in a far better mental state. She has told me you've taken trips with Beyoncé and you've grown closer with her, but all she's doing is hurting you and pulling you away from the woman that truly loves you."
I looked towards my mother. She had tears in her eyes that Mathew would wipe away. They sat fairly close but I didn't think anything of it.
"And what about the money you give to my mom every month for adopting me? Was that not true?"
Charlotte sighed, "Baby, I told you she was lying!" I still kept my eyes glued to Mathew's to find any deceit in his body language. He avoided looking my way and kept his focus towards Charlotte.
If anything he was saying was true, I wouldn't know how to feel. I felt as if Beyoncé and I had created an inseparable bond. Why would she continue to lie to me? Why was connecting with my mom such a big issue?
Mathew had more to say but I tuned him out. "Are we done here?" I asked. When they both said that they were done, I sat up from the chair and walked out. I needed to think about this on my own.
__________
I really hope you guys loved this update!
• Thoughts on Beyoncé telling Kelly her secret?
• Will she be able to keep her word and leave Jay alone for good?
• How do y'all feel about Angel's relationship(s)? Will he ever settle down?
• I'll love to read your thoughts on Mathew and Charlotte😂Is Mathew lying to him? If so, why?
• What should Angel do?
• What would y'all like to read next? Just a heads up, only a couple of chapters left!
As always, thank you for reading! Please vote and comment (It makes me update faster😂)😘