Miliani's POV
He was here, with his head on my stomach and eyes so hopeful they twinkled. my breath got knocked out of me. Maybe I was drowsy from the medicine or it was just a fragment of my imagination that I saw him smiling. The ends of his lips tipped into the most surreal expression. Dot dimple on the side of his cheek, a handsome expression that took my heart all over again.
I only saw Caim smile a handful of times, I could count on my one hand the number of his smiles. But now looking at him, all smiley and twinkly I couldn't help but smile back. I really am imagining things, no way in reality would Caim smile like that. So happy, so.....pure.
Like an instinct my hand went to the brown of his head, brown or white? My eyes widened, the silver hair were sparkling in the dim lighting of the room. His hair was white-no silver. The purest of silver. Shadowing his eyes in the most inhumanly way possible. If I was falling before, now I might have touched the ground and bounced back to fall once again.
A languid smile plastered on his face, he slowly closed his eyes and breathed. Just inhale and exhale only for a few seconds, everything was silent and I loved it. Every second of the sweet silent in his presence, I loved all about it. My fingers stroked his hair. It was soft, if possible, softer then his hair before. My fingers played with his strands like they were familiarizing with the softness, with the intimacy of unknotting every knot.
The eyes that remained close, opened slowly, leisurely and looked at me, gazed into mine with a ferocious dose of affection and something more docile, hiding in-between the lines. I could read it, the scribbles between the affection. I could name the emotion but I stopped before it becomes too real and I'll get left behind with an aching chest that knows it's just a dream.
"Thank God, you're fine" he lift his hand and touch mine on top of his head. Taking it in his and slowly pulling it towards his mouth and kissed it. I blinked and stared. I was blank for the most part of this moment. My hands and eyes and heart is working but my brain is taking too long to process what was happening.
He slowly lifted his head from his position and scooted closer to me on his chair. My eyes following the sway of his very new hair, I was entranced in the fact that someone could possess such trait. My hand unconsciously reached forward to feel the strands once again, I was curious, the color might transfer into my fingers like it does when you touch a butterfly's wings. Leaving behind the imprint of something so beautiful.
But he was no butterfly. Caim was a moth and I, the flame. Waiting for the moth to come and wrap itself around the blaze. maybe this time the moth wouldn't burn as the flames would put out. I looked into his blazing eyes, they were filled with hues of different emotions.
"are you okay?" he whispered, each word was closing off the distance between us. I found myself anticipating the last words to finally feel him closer to me. I nodded. it was another miracle when he closed his eyes and nodded, the smile staying on his lips.
"you scared me" he opened his eyes and this time there were unshed questions, glistening. "when I saw you in this bed, injured...barely making any noise, I got scared." he cupped my face, coming closer.
"you scared the fuck out of Miliani Snow, you don't know how difficult it was for me to look at you and not scream. to stand there, watching the nurses hooking you with so many needles, tubes" the questions were slowly unleashing from his eyes, wetting his cheeks and flowing down to drop on my hands. I wanted to wipe them, to clear any sort of despair his heart is feeling but I was afraid that my touch will end this dream. he will vanish.
"First, it was Grammy and now, you. please just give me a break" he wiped his cheeks. "I can only take so much" his hands tightened around my cheeks. I could feel his cold hands. he was shivering, shaking. from the cold? I don't know but I wanted to get him warm and pull him under the covers with me until his heat surrounds me.
"Caim" I said his name in a whisper, maybe if I don't speak loud, this dream will continue. I lifted the blanket enough so he can see the empty space and nodded my head.
it took him only a moment before I was snuggled against him with his hands around me and head resting against his shoulder. the bed was small but we somehow fit.
"Promise me, you would never do this to me again?" he pulled me closer to him. I looked up into his eyes and saw the frustration, the fear in them and I nodded.
"Please, I'd die before I want to see you like this again" we stayed like that for a few quite beats until I fall asleep. and the last thing i felt was his lips on my forehead, lingering there.
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I woke up with a burning sensation behind my eyes and an empty cold bed. the covers were bunched on the side, not covering me wholly. I tried to sit upright but failed when my arms gave out and fell back down on the bed, groaning. I looked around and found the same blank walls, tilted photo frames, disinfectant infused air. i was in my hospital room.
a sigh left my lips, I want to go home. this place is giving me severe homesickness even though I don't consider that house my home. I want to eat something, drink water and maybe get the hell out of this place. i was busy dwelling into my self pity when the door to my room opened and surprisingly Lucas walked in with Grace in a wheel chair? why is she out of her bed?
I wanted to ask her questions but then I remembered his grandson and shut my mouth. if she's here then he must be in this building somewhere. Lucas wheeled her in until she was in the middle of the room, beside me bed. Lucas dropped his hand from the wheel chair and walked across my bed to sit on the couch against the window. it surprised me how him stepping inside my room didn't irk me as much as I thought it would.
"Hello Miliani" she smiled her relaxing smile. I smiled back. Grace looked good. her hair was pinned pack into a neat bun, eyes shining and skin glowy. she was recovering well and it was a relief. however bad her grandson is but Grace, she's an angel.
"Grace how are you?" I asked trying to sit back up but failed once again and before i could fall back, Lucas helped me. His hands went behind my back as he lifted me up into a sitting position. all through this, I stared at him. searching was something I couldn't name. softness? anger? guilt? truth? but found nothing. maybe this is how the mafia works, they know how to leave emotions out of their brain.
it made me feel like a fool to easily trust him once again. i turned my head and silently thanked him, he nodded and went back to his seat on the couch.
"I'm good as new? how about you dear? are you okay?" she rolled her chair beside my bed before taking my hand in her warm ones. i stared at our hands, its strange how many people have held my hands in the last twenty four hours but her one stroke is making feel relaxed, happy.
My focus was on her fingers gliding across the back of my hand when she called for Lucas and told him to wait outside. my eyes snapped to hers.
he walked out without asking anything back. and I was left behind with nerves ticking in my brain.
"are you really okay Mili?" her age lines were curving from the corner of her mouth the side of her nose. a small mole on her chin and nose. it was stupid, I know I am not fine and I was trying as much as I could to dodge the question. I don't want to lie to her but I also cant tell her the turmoil I've been feeling because of Caim. I cant tell her how many secrets he kept from me when I kept asking him. how many times he made me look like a fool when I trusted him and he tossed the trust away every time it was his Organization involved.
He didn't even tell me that he was with my Sister, that he knew my sister. that he gave her a locket which is the sole purpose to why she is dead right now. how I got hurt because I was protecting the lockets, he don't know how difficult it is for me to accept the fact that I love him when my sister, my dead sister was also in love with him. how?
"I know its difficult Miliani" he squeezed my hand. "Every beautiful thing is always difficult to find, it takes time to find a real pearl but when you do, you get the most beautiful thing on this planet"
"I'm not telling you to forgive him, don't. I know what he did was wrong and you have every right to not forgive him but please just think with his brain. maybe he did all that to protect you? to protect everyone close to him" she sighed when I averted my eyes away from her.
"Caim is stubborn Miliani. its next to impossible to change his mind once its made. I know him. but he will never hurt someone dear to him, he will never lie if it isn't necessary" her words were making zero to no impact on my views on why Caim lied to me. if he told me his secret, sure, i would've taken time away from him but eventually, i would have forgiven him. maybe even accept what he is. but I got to know his secret in the most brutal way possible, he killed someone right in front of him. I saw my sister getting killed with a gun and when i saw him doing the same thing to someone else it just snapped me.
I know Caim would never hurt me but how can i control the anger, the pain every time I look at his face?
"I heard you in the hospital. when you told me you love him" my eyes snapped back to hers.
"I remember everything dear, you were scared and nervous when you told me about that guy. you were also scared when you opened up about your sister. its hard to think of people when they're gone. you miss your sister and you blame yourself for her death. it could be a reason for your anger" her kind eyes softened ten folds when she saw the tears in my eyes.
"but remember one thing, Caim loves you Miliani. he really does. I've never seen him so invested in something until you. he thinks you, talks you every nick of time. I know love when I see love and all I want to say is that talk to him. he's been through a lot and it completely stole the innocence he once had, ripped away his love for anything but he finally found something worth waking those feelings and I don't want him to bottle it up like he did eight years back" she patted my hand and smiled at me before wheeling her chair back.
"my sister loved Caim" she stopped and turn around. her eyes held a glint of recognition, it was enough to empty my lungs. she knew.
"Layla, you know her right?" I asked, I couldn't help the accusing tone to repress.
"yes, Caim told me about his friend named Lyla" Friend? "he told me She works at a small café and see him as himself." her words knocked me off my feet. he talked to her about Layla.
"said, he shared something to her that he never did to anyone else. his dream of becoming an artist" I gasped. he never told me this. he never once mentioned that he wanted to play with colors and not bullets.
"and he also talked about a brown haired girl, he saw outside the Café one day" this time the glint was more profound, as if what she is going to say next will change my views.
"covered in dirt, helping a puppy. he still have her cardigan, hanging on his wall like a center piece " her smile was big and hopeful.
"hazel eyes, brown hair and small face that was covered with mud but I saw her snuggling a puppy. her cardigan covering that small animal. I don't know how it happened but my eyes wouldn't shift from her. it felt like wind was struck in my throat and I can never speak again. I was entranced and when she stood up, the air knocked me over. these were his words while describing that mysterious girl. he didn't know it that time but I knew that he had his very first encounter with love" my throat felt parched. I don't know if I should cry that he felt this way for someone else or happy that he didn't love my sister.
"he's got a thing for hazel eyes" Lucas's words rushed back in my brain when we first met. i looked at Grace and saw her smiling down at me. she's been smiling like she wants to tell me more but isn't and letting it my business to sort what she meant.
"A cream Cardigan?" my voice came out muffled when she nodded. " a knitted cream Cardigan" my eyes widened when the reality dawned upon me. i have been missing my Cardigan since the day I saved that dog in front of Lyla's workplace. we were there to pick her up.
Caim was there that day and he saw me. he saw me when I was in a relationship with Sean. He kept my cardigan with him.
it means he loved me from the start.
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Hello lovelies,
how are you all?
Miliani know that she's the only woman for Caim. now, what do you think, would this fact change anything between them or it was just past? let me know in the comments.
I hope you like the chapter.
please vote and comment
until next time.