T A M I A ' S P O V :)
I just gave Greyson a peck on the cheek. I'm not quite sure why I did it but I have to admit that it felt tingly inside when my lips slowly touched his rosy skin.
The day went on and I just spent it with my grandmother. She taught me how to knit sweaters and bake cakes; you know, old women stuff. This kind of made me miss my mom. Whenever she goes home from work, we would do a lot of new things; things that only moms can teach and make me feel.
I remember back then, we used to paint together in my gallery. She taught me how to use finger painting. According to her, it's a good way of making art because it all depends to our fingers and palm. We control the hue of every color with our hand alone; we stroke every line through our skin.
"Finger painting may be reflected with our life. Everything depends on us. It's all on how we do it. We have to be careful in doing every single strand of line to make it a wonderful piece. But sometimes, we just apply whatever color or mark without thinking how it would affect the whole painting. At the middle of the process, we'd think that it's gonna be awful but if we continue to do it, it's gonna be a beautiful masterpiece eventually."
Those words will always be tattooed on my mind. It's a great metaphor plus, it helps me in going through this cruel world without breaking down or something. And I will continually use this as a motivation to get through everything that has been destined for me.
**
Weeks went by and and I've been spending a lot of time in school with Noelle and others. One Saturday, we all went to Keith's humongous house and just played around in his arcade. It was fun being with them. They never failed to make me feel accompanied. After that, Savannah, Noelle and I went shopping (good thing, I already got my allowance). It's great to have them with me. They somehow fill up Paris' absence. Not that she's gone to my life okay? It's just, I miss her and thank God I have Savannah and Noelle to make me happy and contented.
It's a Wednesday and there are no classes because of the teachers' colloqium. And 3 weeks from now is my 16th birthday. I'm not planning a grand party at all; maybe a small gathering with my friends would do.
I woke up at 7 in the morning and I know, it's too early for a no-school day. A month away before my 16th birthday. Man, time should slow down; I don't want to grow a year older yet. Growing is scary. The older you are, the complicated things will get. If only I could be 9 years old forever, I would. the scariest thing that I could here that time would be "I'll tell your dad" and now I'm turning 16, the scariest thing is to hear "Your dad is gone."
Dad.
I shook my head together with the thought and feeling. According to my mom, he's been going worse than ever. And it's just disappointing, at the same time, frustrating. The thought of him, faded and gone is just dismal. I'm not ready for that to happen though my mom said that chances are small for him to survive.
"Tamia? You there?" Grandma asked.
"Sorry, what?" I asked. Wow, was I really that lost in the middle of my thoughts? Weird.
"I said, are you okay? You've been thinking so much and I'm worried," she said.
"I'm perfectly fine, thanks for asking. Nah, I'm just umm I don't know...bothered about some stuff. Don't mind about me, I'm okay."
"You sure?" she assured.
"Yes. Thank you," I said with a smile.
After eating lunch, I went outside for a walk. It felt like the first time I got here in Edmond. The weather is neither sunny nor rainy; just clear skies. And from afar, I saw Chase walking. I said hi to him and spurted a smile on my face but then he ignored me. He just stared at me blankly and looked away.
Ouch.
I wonder why he's acting like that. I can't remember doing anything bad to him. Maybe I should talk to him tomorrow because it's keeping me unease. There are a lot more reasons why I want to talk to him though. Like, it's not the same as before anymore. We used to be together 24/7 before and it just came to the point that he didn't fetch me at my house before going to school, we don't talk to our mutual classes, we don't call each other anymore and the worst part is that he never even tried to look at me anymore.
I just stopped from walking and stared at the open and wide space in front of me. My best friend just ignored me. Being bypassed is the worst feeling for me. It's just...incisive. I miss him; I miss Chase.
The hand of the clock slue round fast as I walked myself into the library to borrow another book. I remember the time when I returned the first book I borrowed, Mr. Enrico, the bookkeeper was cheerful and happy, not like the first time I saw him. I sat back and did a little chat with him.
"You seem so happy today, Mr. Enrico," I said, smiling at him.
He managed to beam back at me and said, "Well, I am."
"May I know why?" I asked innocently, trying not to sound like I'm starting a blether.
"Sit here," he said as he tapped the counter across him. And I went there as he said. "It's been a year since my wife has been fighting over colon cancer and now, it's all gone. A miracle it is."
I smiled as a tear fell by my orb. It felt gaiety to know this. He's a good man; my grandfather has been telling stories about him to me. My grandpa mentioned before that Mr. Enrico sold a part of his rice field just to prolong his wife's life. He used it for medication. And after that, I removed my first impression towards him, being a grumpy old man. Now I understand why he was like that. And I'm very much touched right now that his wife survived. I wish this will happen to my father too.
I went behind the counter and embraced him. I felt a tear fell on my shoulder.
Mr. Enrico aren't that close but it felt like we're somehow connected because of this. I don't know what to say anymore, I'm happy that he's okay; that her wife is okay.
After that, we just talked about how they met and how they fell in love. It was romantic; very romantic.
And I remember him, telling me that I should meet her wife.
"The next time you go here, she's probably with me."
Recalling that statement from him, I walked even faster to the library knowing that her wife will be there. And I'm so eager to meet her. I think she's nice and according to Mr. Enrico's stories, she's very sweet too.
After a moment or so, I finally reached the athenaeum. And as usual, it's empty. From a distant, I could see Mr. Enrico and an old lady; and I'm expecting that it's his wife. Awww!
I walked over the counter and bid them a good afternoon and they replied with a sweet smile.
"Tamia, this is my wife, Seville," he introduced while looking at her.
I handed out my arms and hugged her. She's a very beautiful lady, I got to say. Her colorful bandanna suited her oval face and fair complexion. She's quite scraggy, maybe because of all the chemo therapies but still managed to have a classic beauty.
"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Seville," I said as I gave her a peck on the cheek.
"It's nice to meet you too, Tamia, I believe?" She asked and assured.
The afternoon went too fast. Mrs. Seville just shared her whole experience as a cancer patient to me. According to her, every time she loses hair, it's like she's losing an hour or so in living too.
As I quote, "It was sad being stuck inside a room. I never knew when will everything end. I never knew when will it be my turn to meet Him. Sometimes, I just want to die because of the pain I see with my husband yet he's also the one who motivated me to keep on fighting. It's crucial; everything was crucial. Good thing I have my children. They are there to support me. They never failed to make me stronger. Every time I see them trying to make me feel better, it just gets better. Their presence was all I need. Though some are far away and working abroad, they still try to talk to me."
Everything that she said made sense. I can relate to every single thing and now I know what to do. Stay with my father. Maybe not physically, but emotionally and spiritually.
**
Another day came and I was bothered with what's going on between I and Chase. During dismissal, I finally got the guts to talk to him. He's just nearby and I'm so close in talking to him. Should I go or not?
Man, this is nervewrecking. I never imagined how hard this will be.
After a few steps, I finally got closer to him. "Hey Chase," I said.
He looked back at me and said hi. Wow this is awkward.
"Can we talk?" I asked and his eyebrows met, looking at me suspiciously yet above that, he replied with a nod.
"Okay... so let me get this straight. Are we okay?" I asked while walking beside him towards the soccer field.
There was silence.
"Well, to be honest with you, I'm not sure. You've been ignoring me for the past few months and I don't know what happened. But one thing I'm sure about is that you're too busy with Noelle, Savannah and your other popular friends. And I just felt...like an outcast."
Wow, I never knew that he's been feeling that. I'm such an insensitive friend :( I admit it, I've been with them and I sometimes forget about Chase. Well, maybe always but I didn't intend to make him feel that.
"Sorry for not being aware about that. I'm so guilty and I'm really sorry," I apologized.
"I don't know, Tamia. It's more than that and I'm not yet ready to tell you everything. I'll just...distance myself for a moment until I'm ready to admit all the thoughts in me." He said.
Ouch :(
"I respect your decision, Chase. I'm so sorry for everything," I said as a tear fell.
He hugged me so tight and ran away.
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hola! let me just say this, I'm so sorry everyone! :( I didn't update for a month and it's making me guilty to see your pleads for me to update. so so sorry :( I know, I'm the worst writer ever. I hope this is won't be a reason for you guys to stop on reading my works. huhuhu </3 you know that I love you all and I try to write as much as possible but school is always on the way. sorry and I hope you understand :/
anyway, is this a boring chapter? hope not :/ sorry if I'm not meeting your expectations on how I write :( please tell me your comments! and don't forget to vote and share if you liked this one. sorry again! I love you all so much and thanks for everything xx
~ krissy.