Chris POV
I watched her walk away, through the door, the sound of it closing feeling like the nail that locked the fate of our relationship.
I could run after her. I could beg and plead for her to let me continue to love her but realization hits me that she would only let me love her from afar, not letting me completely in again so easily.
So, that's what I'll do. I'll love her from a distance and wait.
Wait with hope that one day things will change. That one day, she'll come back to me. Because I can't make her. I can't make her see the wonderful woman I know she is until she understands her own brokenness.
But on the off chance, she never finds her way back to me, she deserves to have what is rightfully hers. Digging through my bag I find the maroon bag that has gone with me to Vegas, back to Jax, and then once again on this trip because any time I would see her I had hopes that I'd be able to give it to her.
Not like this though. No, I wanted it to find it's rightful home on her finger, sitting next to her engagement ring. I set it down, my heart filled with sorrow, as I pull out my wallet. I thumb through the billfold until I find the slip of paper the flight attendant gave me. Unfolding it, I read over the heartfelt words one last time.
The meaning of the words haven't changed for me. She's made me and my life better than I could've ever imagined it. But now, it's time to see what my life becomes without her.
It's after midnight before I finish tidying the room up, wanting to make things easier for her when she returns. I can't fathom laying in the bed without her, knowing the last time I was here with her I was waking her up for her birthday surprise. Before I crash on the couch, my vows and the ring catch my eye once more. I need to add one more thing to it, before I too walk away.
Grabbing a pen out of the cup in the kitchen I scribble the words her Pops use to say to her Granny from the very beginning of their relationship.
Forever will I love you and never will that change.
Yours always, Chris
I add todays date off to the side, hopeful that she'll notice.
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Opal POV
I knock lightly on the hospital door, waiting for a response before entering.
A quiet "Come in," urges me through the door.
"Hey little mama," I whisper as I walk in, taking note of a sleeping Giovanni on Rae's chest. I lean in carefully to kiss her forehead.
"Hey," she says, stifling a yawn.
"I can take him if you want? Maybe let you get some sleep?" I offer, still hovering. She gives a little nod before cautiously lifting him from her chest. I put my purse on the side table and take the sleeping baby from her. He twitches a little, his eyes flutter, but once I sit and lay him against my chest, he snuggles in by my neck and finds his rest once more. "Oh, sweet boy. You're gonna make my ovaries explode."
"Guess it's a good thing Chris isn't here then," Rae teases, a small smile evident on her tired face.
"Yeah, right," I try passing off the topic without giving much more than that.
"How did yesterday go?" Rae asks, shifting onto her side to look at me better.
I let my hand rub gently along Giovanni's back. "Tell mama she needs to be catching some shut eye while Auntie Opal is here to watch you, instead of fishing for the sordid details on Auntie Opal's insane love life."
"Mama needs to talk about something other than the amount of poops little G has taken, or how sore my nipples are from our sad attempt at breast feeding," she playfully mocks. "Give the exhausted mama what she wants." Her expression changes to that of concern as she notices me chewing on my lower lip.
My eyes move from the bundle in my arms up to the ceiling as I will myself to swallow down the fresh tears that threaten to make their presence known. "You can tell me anything, Ope. You know that. I may be the only judgement free zone in this little screwed up friend group."
Her words bring a sigh of relief to me, apparently needing to hear what I already know. "First things first...how do you know anything about yesterday? Maybe I stayed home alone all day."
"Because I know you own that man's heart, my friend. I knew there was no way he was going to let yesterday go by without spending it with you. You also forget, I know what yesterday was suppose to be."
"He thought I forgot," I admit quietly. "I hadn't though. It just wasn't on the forefront of my mind, with you and the baby." I take a deep breath, "And the thought that I wouldn't see him again."
"And yet, here he was. Surprise!" she laughs out.
"You could've given me a heads up."
"What kind of friend would I be to do something like that?" she jokes. "Not to mention, you'd have stayed miles away from this hospital instead of facing your issues. Ya know, like you have been for the last two weeks. Three hundred miles allows lots of room to hide."
"Shut up before I kidnap this little mister."
Rae laughs, adjusting herself on the bed. "In a couple of weeks I may be freely handing him over." She rolls onto her back but turns her head to look at me. "Now, quit dodging the topic."
"He brought me coffee."
"Told ya, he knows the way to your heart," she says smiling.
"We argued. We kissed. We went to the Arts Market. I told him I was more damaged than I thought. We danced. We had dinner. I left letting him know he didn't need to come back."
"Opal," she says softly, noticing my lip trembling.
Giovanni shifts on my chest, nuzzling into my shoulder. I kiss the top of his head in hopes that it shifts my attention from my tears that are about to fall.
"You don't mean that thought. Do you?"
"I know that he is an amazing man that deserves an equally amazing woman to be his wife and mother to his children." I close my eyes, giving in to the pain my soul has been feeling the last 48 hours. "And that's not me."
I can hear her scooch around in the hospital bed, causing me to open my eyes and glance over at her. She's moved over to one side, patting the now empty area for me to join her. I do as I'm told, in as much need of comforting as she's willing to offer. She wraps her arms around me as I continue to hold her son.
"I love you, Ope. I need you to hear that first and foremost before I say anything else. You know that right?" I give a small nod, my head resting on her shoulder. "But you, my precious friend, are all kinds of emotionally screwed."
Hearing the words come from her, even though I already know it about myself, makes me sob harder.
"Pops and Granny did the best that they could as you were growing up. Agreed?" I nod my head against her shoulder. "But, as you got older, you were like any other teen and young adult feeling like you knew what's best for you. I know you stopped dating after that night. I may not have ever mentioned it, but I noticed the change in you. I saw you go around looking for things to help you fill voids. But do you know when I saw the best change in you?"
I rearrange myself and Giovanni, sitting up a bit so I can look my dear friend in the eye.
"That breakfast we all got together for after your break in. There was such a shift in you, but I'm not even sure you recognized it. You were letting your guard down around him so easily. The glances you two would share, I'm sure you thought went unnoticed. You looked at him like he could heal you." She paused. "Like you wanted him to heal you."
I know her words hold truth. "But someone shouldn't be expected to take on that kind of responsibility. Especially when those wounds are just ripped open over and over again."
"Did you ever ask him if he wouldn't be willing to be that person?" I shake my head, no. "Something tells me he would build you up better each time, Ope."
I listen to her words, really listen to them. Yet my mind and my heart are still at war. "It's easier this way though. I can be the Aunt that's always available to babysit or house sit, and Chris can go live a happy life with an emotionally healthy woman."
"You're as stubborn as that old man was," she says sternly, holding her arms out. I placed Giovanni in his mother's hands.
"I learned from the best," I joke with a giggle.
She places her son in her lap, helping him stretch as his eyes open slowly. "He wouldn't want you throwing all of this away. You know it too."
"Well, lucky for me he's not here to tell me what he thinks, is he?"