Lavender oil infused earthen lamps dimly lit the empyrean chambers, caliginous shadows dancing with the flickers. Soothing zephyrs swished the wine hued curtains as lunar incandescence descended through the balcony, deluging the vista in hues of silver. Multiple swathes of roses embossed the walls, the elysian aroma of jasmines enveloping the air along with delicious scents and love potions. The livid ether was dressed in a flawless garb of a million stars and the moon did not fail to comfort her like it did almost everyday, when she clung to the railing as the ocean called to her.
It crawled in her insides and nibbled at her. Slowly but surely. Her stomach did a somersault and she shrank in herself then, reminiscing the steady breathing lessons taught to her by a healer.
In and out. Slowly. Yes my sweet one, you're doing good.
Scars. Scars of the heart mocked her, and that of the body made her proud. They ran in faint streaks and memories of her subconscious and she was a warrior dripping scarlett from every pore of hers, for to the ones who dance to the tunes of death in the battlefield the healed wounds are prizes. She was a woman of melancholy and grace. The maiden who never aged. She spoke boldly in the court and at everything that wronged her. She accumulated ocherous parchments and peacock feather quills and glass ink pots and disappeared into the voids of the royal villa as soon as the sun set. She was an unspoken malediction they had their eyes trained on and the blood moon that wept in solitude. She nursed appetence for a man whom the world revered and curst. Because he was the only one who could hold her just not because no wrinkles shall come upon the eternal youth cast upon her by the heavens.
Kamalnayani was draped in a cozy and diaphanous robe, her raven hued hair left loose as she awaited her husband on the fourth night of their amalgamation which was to be celebrated as the Nishekam, or the ritual of making love to your spouse out of duty. Blushing a deep shade of crimson, she caved in to the rising heartbeats that resonated within her.
“Govinda, I am not so sure how much Krishu adheres to certain traditions and rituals. Besides, this . . . ” Draupadi's concerned voice found her ears, making her perk up and the youngest fire-born was made cognizant of her husband's presence by the closed doors. The queen of Shakraprastha then pursed her lips while her best friend appeared very amused, “Of course I trust you, but she's shy and might be edgy with regards to this. She is also rebellious at times. But put faith, she's immensely empathetic and won't do anything to upset you-”
“Yes Sakhi, of course I do. You need not be worried. Both of us put each other in high regards and no matter how odd anything seems, we shall pave a way out.”
“Now Vaasudeva, we know you must be very impatient. She's lovely and you are no less handsome. We hope you two have a blissful time together. We shall take our leave now,” Bhima teased in abundant mirth as the said man's ears turned pink. Kanha whisper-yelled in urgency, facepalming in the same motion, “Manjhle bhaiya! Hush, she will probably get uneasy. This is no compulsion.”
“Ahaha lover dearest is getting concerned I see,” Nakula piped in this time, grinning conspiratorially with squinted eyes. “Alright, don't trouble him too much now all of you. My sister must be waiting for him. Go, Kanha,” an enthusiastic Satyabhama shushed everyone as the sound of their footfalls eventually ebbed away. The all too familiar silence reigned yet again and both Kanha and Hridayaa were yet to get over the mushy-ness bubbling in them before meeting each other's eyes.
Krisha realized her heart thudded violently in her ribs. No, this was anything but consternation. She knew he won't hurt her at any cost. But heavens if she were nervous and could hide herself in his arms, away from his gaze if he would allow her to. The lock unlatched slowly, as if the person on the other end was as shy as she felt all so suddenly. Kanha stepped in cautiously, so as to not overwhelm either of them as the aesthetic of their appearances nearly swooned the both of them in the same moment, blood rushing to their cheeks. Who knew forelsket wasn't a one time deal after all. “You are here . . . ” she murmured almost to herself as he averted his face to hide a silly smile and briefly inclined his head to the side. “I am, of course. How have you been these days, love? Does Dvaraka seem good?”
“Oh, it seems precisely like how I envisaged our home to be. Worry not, everyone has been nothing but kind to me.”
His grin widened, effortlessly shaming the most priceless pearls she had ever laid her gaze on and she smiled too, honey eyes flickering to his ethereal features from the silk quilts and duvets and then to him again. Shri tentatively bit the insides of her cheeks, stifling an untimely yawn. Shouldn't have had the wine. Why were the palace maids so insistent on it after all?
Meanwhile, Kanha's eyebrows shot up at the sight of the empty goblet of ale glinting subtly under the impression of the dim illumination. No, this wasn't right at all. For all he knows, Hridayaa might be getting sleepy in less than an hour. He glimpsed tenderly at her this time, her pale fair skin gleaming with every ray of moonlight seeping through her porcelain skin. The same poetry that the moon recited to him every dusk, the rose that irradiated sarang for him. She was mesmerizing.
“I . . . don't understand,” she began breaking his reverie of rhapsodies that were eternal, pointedly staring at the aromatic blooms as her rogue painted lips slightly jutted out in child like curiosity. “What is their purpose?” Kanha's lips danced in an affectionate smile. She had grown reserved to herself and more demure when it came to the both of them and clearly, her friends from Panchala were not an influence yet. “For the purpose of adorning you.” His voice was pleasing as ever to the ears, “It is a ritual.”
“Oh.” She bit her tongue, dying a little inside. Good lord, why did nobody tell me about this?
“So, may I?” Kanha hummed with his fingers discreetly playing with the soft upper raiment which covered his shoulder. She could see even he wasn't so confident today for he looked at her through his eyelashes with a bated breath. Why not? Of course. “Oh yes, yes please,” Kamalnayani managed, hoping he hadn't read her mind yet again. She would be in for a good teasing after the dawn breaks anyway, but the night was going to be long for sure.
He shifted in close proximity, and she let him rake his lotus hand in her curls before slipping in festoons of jasmines and mogras strung together. His fingers slightly brushed against her skin, warm breath falling to the nape when Krisha screwed her eyes shut, feeling the wine act up to visualise ridiculous scenarios. The pink curl of her lips was gone nowhere when Kanha patiently took in her magnificently crimson painted palms in his, studying the designs with poignant gaze before bringing them to his eyes. The alabaster bracelets clipped to her dainty wrists were the ones he had held when they walked the seven steps together, and now they appeared more than any treasure the lover of fortune herself owned.
Her dubious heave made the situation all to real. Kanha smiled to himself again, bringing her to his embrace as Krisha gave in to his demand. “Hridayaa I know this isn't the right time,” he crooned gently, soothingly. “It does not sound like the best idea to proceed because as I see, we're yet to know all of each other. Besides, I am aware that you are lightheaded at the moment. The aphrodisiacs can be inundating.”
She nearly sighed in solace all over again, ceasing her eyes shut. “Wouldn't our union be considered incomplete then?”
“Sometimes, staying incomplete is better.” He faintly smiled, thoroughly confident in his assertion. “We can do it any other day, but not now. Certainly not now. We should rest, the jaunt was knackering.”
Kanha had been a couple of handspans away from her. She had seen him reaching for her hand again from the corner of her eyes as they sat by each other on the flower embellished swing facilitated to their boudoir. She had decided that the allure of Dvaraka in the dusk wasn't something to be wasted away in pointless sleep and of course, how would he deny it? The constellations, the azure, the moon were all too beautiful today and Kamalnayani was not in her mind. The innocent conspiracy was flaunting its effects still.
He was as if a thousand cupids had coalesced into one person, his yellow robes wrapping around his rich frame. His blue-black curly locks were set free from the heavy crown he usually adorned himself with, but yet a small, gem studded diadem with a lone iridescent peacock feather tucked in it held them back from his dark and pulchritudinous features.
The bride stifled a small, flushed simper before scooting to him. He guided her knackered head to his shoulder all over again as she snuggled, rubbing her eyes with a fist. Kanha planted a kiss in her hair before rubbing comforting circles on her back. He knew the nausea of first time things were getting to the head. And well, he was enjoying the silly blabberings. “You are very sleepy, Hridayaa. I will take you to a night out as soon as you ask, promise,” he said, the magic of his silver tongue doused in absolute sweetness.
“You don't like my company?” Kamalnayani quizzed with a yawn and he gasped dramatically, “Of course not! Oh my god-”
“I thought that's why you are ushering me away.”
“Not at all. If you want to continue stargazing, you must, my queen. This puny one shall not be audacious.”
Kamalnayani laughed, although a lot drowsy by now, “You could tell me anything you would want me to not remember tomorrow, really. This tactic was insane. I am not getting inebriated ever again, well, except for your eyes. They are ridiculously . . . err, picturesque.” She tried to look at him with a hint of sombre and he chortled this time, shaking his head. “Don't bully me, butter thief. I can flirt very well.”
“That isn't flattering. You are cheesy, darling. I shall show you how to do it, let me confess again.” He smirked and she grinned wider, giggling, “Teach me then, love.”
“As the earth is firm and so are the mountains, our union is now permanently settled,” Kanha murmured and was intoxicated by the proximity of the flames that held his heart. The moon and the stars were witness to their ardour once again. “As Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva are nothing without their better halves, I am incomplete without you too. If I am the barren land, you are the outpour of elixir, breathing life into me. As my beloved, you shall have rights over half of my happiness.”
“And I shall pose my rights over half of your pains too,” she completed, every word surfacing from the bottom of her heart and he hummed with a smile, feeling her adoration wash over him. “If I am walking with you I shall be ahead. For the brambles life has to offer are first mine, then yours.”
When the next stream of sunlight breached through the privacy of the windowpanes- the gossiping and giggling handmaidens found each of them basking in an embrace. Kanha's head was enthroned on her lap as Shri's fingers stayed entangled in his tresses, dyed garnet by the grace of her alta. The rustle of the morning errands were graceful and the goddess of slumber broke her spell. Chanchalaa gingerly scurried away from the scene, careful to not spoil his sleep, the heat finally getting to her golden countenance once again.
What was conveyed in the tacenda, stayed between the both of them and cemented in her heart like grit. The rejuvenation of her soul, was by the flares that burnt bright in the lamps dedicated to Maa Shakti.