The next week sped past in a whirlwind of eating, sleeping and cuddling baby Iris, whilst also catching up with Mattie. Each time Emily looked at Iris it was almost like a hook was attached in her lower stomach and it gave a sharp pull. Is this what feeling broody feels like? Emily wondered.
"So what do you have planned this week?" Mattie questioned.
"It's more what don't we have planned! We have the Lego centre, the aquarium, art galleries, museums, a trip on a steam railway, a football ground private tour, and then finally a cinema date night and I've organised a private room at that fancy restaurant in town, you know with the chef you like?"
"Oooh, posh! You're going to be going back to Korea for a rest at that rate!"
"I know but I want to show them everything! It's been so difficult to organise so no one else is around, and making sure that there are security and stuff. I've had to have the company call everywhere first. I had to plan our itinerary to the last hour"
"Hmm, can I ask you something? So they're platonic soulmates right?"
"Yeah, so, when we got our soulmates all tested. They're all bonded kind of like soul brothers but they're all connected by me, their "true" soulmate. When they met each other their soul marks changed slightly with each person, but it never became coloured, so they knew they shared one soulmate, but they didn't know if there were any more platonic soulmates to add"
"And is there?"
"No, apparently the bond has sealed, I can't believe she got all of this information from this" raising her arm, her soul mark gleamed.
"So they've never... you know?"
"Apparently not. Said it's not their thing with each other. I dunno? I like that they're as close as they are"
"It's so weird that you were always fated to be together. Do you ever just want to research that shit? Like how did your genetics know you would meet them? How did theirs? You're not even on the same continent!"
"I know! If I think too much about it, I'll go insane. Soul marks are nuts, like imagine being fated with a really shit person, or what if you never find your soulmate?" Mattie showed off her soulmark a large Iris crawling up her arm - hence her babies name, with a smaller Iris bud coming off of it.
Usually when soulmates have a baby together, a new smaller addition would appear on their soulmark. Emily wasn't sure if using someone else eggs would change that, she would maybe have to ask Yoona about that.
"I couldn't imagine never finding mine. Archie completes me. He's like the other half I didn't know was missing. Same with your guys, they're like your missing pieces"
"It's true. Apparently, there's a woman in Germany with fifteen soulmates. Multiples are becoming more common as social
media has made it easier for people to find each other. I'm just glad that we can communicate."
"Yeah their English is getting so much better than when you first met and your Korean is amazing! Can you Imagine someone dropping in your dm's all like 'Hi, so Myself and your fourteen soulmates are waiting for you here in Timbuktu, could you pick up some bread on your way?' God imagine it"
"They've worked hard, at first it was hard, sometimes though if I talk too fast they just zone out. I had to learn, I couldn't expect everyone to understand me, especially with this accent. It's getting easier. I suppose that's better than the way we did it with my fake job advert! It makes me cringe, I had no idea who they were then! Famous idols and me" Emily laughed.
"Do you never get sick of that stuff? Like them being famous?"
"No, I'm never really involved so much in that stuff, sometimes I wish we could go out whenever we want to, without security but I know how much they love doing what they do. They worked so hard to get here, they properly struggled. I'd never ask them to give it up in a million years"
"I'd be so jealous, thousands of women screaming at them. I'd never feel good enough. Like I would never let a woman near them, I wouldn't trust them to leave my sight!" Mattie sighed, Emily hadn't thought about it too much, she didn't get jealous of their fans. When the boys went out with their friends, she just hoped they had a good time. When she met any of their friends male or female, she just hoped she made a good impression. But she never thought about them cheating or being hit on seriously. Was she naive and stupid or did she just trust them?
"So... you look far too comfortable with a baby in your arms, have you thought any more about it?" Mattie asked breaking the awkward silence.
"No, I try not to. I know the boys are at the top of their game career-wise, and I don't want to put any extra pressure on them. I mean, it's only been a year and that year has been drama-filled from start to finish. I think we'll maybe give it a few years and then think about it properly" Emily nodded thoughtfully as if she was convincing herself rather than Mattie.
"Hmm, well, I saw the look in your eyes when Jimin held Iris the other day. I thought you were going to start trying there and then!"
"Seeing them with any child, I feel like I'm either going to explode with love or cry. I don't know what's wrong with me!"
"Emily you're broody. It's ok to admit you want babies. Just don't torture yourself ok? They can still have careers and be parents. Have you talked to them about how you feel?"
"Not really. Just in passing, like we can't wait for babies, but nothing concrete. I think I'm scared" She cuddled Iris close to her, smelling that newborn smell everyone always raves about. She knew the smell now, it was almost intoxicating. Watching her little fingers curl and uncurl as she slept. Emily was in love.
"They're not mind readers, come on Emmy, they're the most understanding men I've ever come across. But they don't know how you're feeling inside if you don't talk to them. Anyway, how are your books coming along? When I saw the ones you gave me for Iris, I cried. They're beautiful."
"Actually really well, my order book is full up until November. That's just from word of mouth and friends of people who have bought them. It's nice to have a 'job' if you know what I mean?"
"I do, you're not just the megastars soulmate, you're Emily, author, auntie, bestie, and all-round nympho" Mattie cackled making Iris stir slightly.
"I'm not a nympho I just..."
"You Have more sex in a month than I've had in my entire life, Hmm! I saw the shed shaking the other day, it's was 2 p.m.!"
"It wasn't shaking, and I like spending my afternoons exercising" Emily winked.
"No wonder you need a nap" Mattie stood up, taking Iris so Emily could stand up off the floor.
"Speaking of which! Someone needs their nap, and someone's Mummy needs their nap, and someone's Auntie needs to go and do her afternoon 'exercise'" Mattie exaggerated her finger quotations with a wink.
"You are funny. Not. I'll see you both later? Archie too? About 7 ok for you?"
"7 is fine, I'll bring Iris in her carrycot and get her ready for bed beforehand and hopefully she'll stay asleep. I've got her dinner cooking"
Mattie pointed at her chest.
"That's handy, do you want your usual
Ordering and Archie too?"
"Yeah, but can you ask for no chilli in mine? She always has an awful nappy if I have it, she must take after her father" Mattie rolled her eyes.
As Emily walked across the road, her mind spinning with everything she and Mattie had just talked about. She didn't go through the front door, she slipped through the back, and down to her shed alone.
Sitting down on the bed, her arms rested on her thighs her head in her hands, her head felt like it might explode. Emily had been so busy in her bubble, she forgets they are worldwide famous idols, they could have any woman they wanted, they were surrounded by beautiful Korean women, she might be their soulmate, but they could sleep with any woman they wanted to, at any time.
Was she only fooling herself into thinking that all seven of them would want her for the rest of their lives? It wasn't as though they were even married. How was she going to drop the bombshell of wanting a baby on them? It would just give them another excuse to run a mile. Emily's insecurities seemed to all bubble to the surface.
They may have to use an egg donor or another process, to prevent any possibility of her passing on her schizophrenia. They were megastars, they could find a sane woman in an instant, she was their soulmate, why would they want her? Her mind was starting to run away with her and fast.
Why was this all so hard? Why did her mind have to think so many things at once? Why did she feel so stupid and naive? Emily just sat there tears dripping into a puddle on the floor.
A knock on the door startled her, as she looked up into a pair of beautiful eyes, she motioned for them to come in.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying alone?" He asked wrapping his arms around her.
"Nothing, I'm just having a wobble"
"A wobble? About what?"
"Nothing, it's ok?"
"Ok, you've got until I've made us both a hot drink to decide whether or not you talk to me, I go and get one of the others, or I get all of them. But either way, I want to know what is going on. Yes?" he said with a hint of harshness in his voice.
Emily sat on the edge of the bed, she wasn't going to get out of this. She was going to have to talk to him. She sighed loudly. As he set two cups of tea on the nightstand.
"Ok, shall we get more comfortable? This isn't a meeting and I need a cuddle about as much as I think you do hmm?" He sat with his back against the headboard and patted his thighs.
Emily slowly climbed into his lap and sitting with her back against his chest, he kissed her temple. She relaxed slumping her shoulders down.
"Now baby, what's troubling you?"
Emily had no idea where to begin, but she explained she had been talking with Mattie, and she said what Mattie said, making sure that Jimin knew she meant it with no harm. But it set her mind thinking and then it wouldn't stop thinking.
He didn't say anything other than the odd "ok" she explained her worries, once she started, it almost tumbled out of her.
"So let me get all of this in order? You were explaining our soulbond to Mattie, and it confused you, and now you want to research it all because you don't understand how it happened. You want a baby but you don't want to scare us even though your body is telling you what it needs, you don't even know how we feel about kids and there are many different routes to go down to achieve it and you weren't worried, but now you are that we are going to sleep with any women we come across just because we're idols, and you think so lowly of yourself and us that you think we can find someone better than you, our soulmate? Did I miss anything?"
Emily shook her head burying her face into his shirt.
"Emily why do you keep everything all bundled up and then drop it like a bomb? I think this might be a chat we need to have with everyone. Hmm? I'll give them a message, and I can explain, but we need to talk about this"
"I'm sorry, I didn't think it was a big deal. I'm just being an idiot" the tears were running down Emily's face.
———
Emily wasn't sure how all eight of them all fitted into the small 'shed', it felt almost overcrowded. Jimin had explained Emily's fears, all she wanted to do was run out of the door, and not stop. But Namjoon had thought ahead and stood in front of the door.
Hoseok's eyes had taken on a dark look and most of their mouths were in tight lines.
"Emily, where did this all even come from? I'm not going to defend myself for actions you've suddenly created in your head. But I love you. In my eyes, you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I don't want anyone else. I won't want anyone else as much I want you. But if you can't trust me, I can't do it. I won't do it. I'm not going to constantly feel like I need to make up for your insecurities" Yoongi stood up walking past Namjoon and slamming the shed door as he stormed up the garden path.
"Emily we love you. Only you. All seven of us. You and us. That's it for us. We want to grow old with you. It's fated in our soulbond. You can make an appointment with the Soul Advisor, Yoona. She can answer most questions you have. Just because we are idols, that is our job. It's not glamorous all the time. You've seen that, we don't have the time to be getting up to anything with someone else. We think about you, we think about coming home to you. We think about our future with you, babies with you, marrying you. You are our soulmate, I could go out and sleep with someone else and so could you, do you not think we worry about leaving you alone for long periods that you might find somebody better than us but I know and you know it wouldn't even nearly compare to what I feel when I'm with you. But more importantly, I don't want to, and you need to get that into your head. You need to trust us as we trust you. You could sleep with anyone you wanted to, we need to trust each other. " Taehyung looked at her with hurt behind his eyes.
"I can only speak for myself, but I want a baby with you. I'd have one with you right now, I'd make one with you this evening if it were possible. But as soon as we get back to Korea we can look into procedures, and see every specialist possible. I've told you before our life with you is important, our careers won't last forever, but our life with you will"
"I agree, if you want a baby, we can look into every possibility. But on one condition?" Hoseok continued, Emily looked up at him quizzically.
"I want us to have group therapy to discuss all of this. I don't want to have to keep going over the same thing over and over again. The soulbond, your self-esteem, everything. I want you and the rest of us to be mentally ready, not only for our comeback and being on tour but for a baby, for the rest of our future with you. I feel like your inner dragon needs reawakened. I don't want this insecurity to dim you" Emily slowly nodded.
"All in favour of therapy and a baby raise your hand" Jungkook laughed, as 6 hands raised. Emily slowly raised her hand.
"Right, we will work on Yoongi later, but now. Trust. Emily, have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" Jin sighed
"No"
"Do you think I will in your heart?"
"No"
"Right, so we will work on your insecurities with Grace. But I will marry you, and we will have a baby. I promise you" Jin stated firmly.
The door opened slowly, and Yoongi came back.
"I shouldn't have stormed out, I wouldn't want you to do it. Where are we?"
"I'm an insecure, overthinking, slightly neurotic idiot that wants a baby and shouldn't overthink everything and then drop it like a bomb on you. I just didn't think it was a big deal. I need to be an independent woman and stop being a baby. I'm sorry, Yoongs" Emily smiled
"But honestly Mattie didn't mean anything by it. We were just chatting. She just said she couldn't do it without getting jealous, and my mind ran away with me. Then watching you with Iris the other day almost made my ovaries explode" She said looking at Jimin.
"Do it? Do what?"
"Be with someone famous, I think she thinks pop stars are surrounded by groupies and aren't monogamous, soulmate or not. The internet over here paints every singer like that"
"Well, first of all, we have a few morals left, second of all we love you, we're in love with you and finally if you want something ask for it. Chase the things you want and tackle them"
"Like you did with me?" Emily smiled
"Exactly. Like that. Now we have a good few hours until tonight. Joon and Jimin are going for a bike ride, Choi and Han are going too. Jungkook and Tae have a date with Mario Kart, and Jin and Yoongi have some work to do. So I and you are going to take a nap" Hoseok added with a wink.
"A nap? but I'm not tired!"
"Oh, you will be. Especially after we discuss just how much trust you have in me, and I am going to worship that body until you feel like a goddess" he laughed as the others kissed Emily with hugs and wandered up the garden.
Emily pressed the release for the blinds, closing them, as she turned around she saw Hoseok taking out her favourite flogger and some restraints a smug smile on his face.