You were certain that Evan was going to be mad. What he would do next was questionable, but not avoidable. But still, would it make any sense? To you, especially, when you had decided to do what you knew wouldn't work at all?
Yes, there you were, outside the house, looking at the window, knowing well where Evan was dead asleep.
This is my last time, You reminded yourself. I will give it my all, no matter what.
And with that, you carefully ventured into the woods, never looking back once, gratefully thanking your luck as you invited the chilling darkness to embrace you. It was the freedom you craved for. Even in the realm you felt like an unwilling guest, you were happy to have made it so far.
Somehow, the door was not locked, and you chose to accept the welcoming omen.
You were going to make it to the campfire.
You knew.
...
Sorry Evan.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Evan was furious, but that seemed like an understatement. He was more than furious, he was something else. He was someone else at that moment. He wasn't used to waking up alone in the bed. He wasn't used to sleeping alone by then. That empty bed startled and infuriated him. He was used to having her head laying over his chest, listening to his heart. He was used to sleep with her form curled up against him, that tiny little frame craving for warmth.
He would see her, he would talk to her, even if there came no reply in turn, at least not in words. He had given her a diary in which she wrote most of the time, telling him what she cooked, or what she did to the trap, or how she used to care for pets back when she was at her home. Other times...she took her anger out on him by telling him how those walls were a prison cell...and that she wanted him gone.
Still he felt nothing bad. He understood her anger. And yet he wanted her there, with him. He had someone living with him under that cursed roof. He had someone breathing beside him when he slept, someone who was, despite unwilling, or not, comforting him when he had nightmares.
She never spoke, she couldn't. He knew. Yet he knew, she listened to him. She might not want to, but she understood him. She had a conscience to do so. It was a person, with her own will. A person with a conscious of her own.
Something humane...that made him feel the human he once used to be.
And she was gone.
She ran away.
...
She ran away!
He wasn't allowing that to happen again. He would not! He had spent enough time alone, mistreated, misunderstood, bossed around. He needed back that one thing in his life that let him feel anything humane at all. He had lost himself, to everyone, and everything. That one thing he could claim, was slowly getting away from him.
He didnt want her to fear him, hate him like that. But even if that couldnt change, all he wanted was to have her. That was the closest relationship he knew he had had in a long time. The last was his father, who he felt disconnected with. The only that existed after him, was someone he was finally understanding.
He didn't want her to not want him.
She was, he told himself, snatched away from him.
That woman...
I want her back...
Evan!
I want her back.
Listen!
I WANT HER BACK!
She's not yours...
I am the one to make that decision!
Evan screamed senselessly at the Entity above him. He had done his best, given it all to please that creature he knew nothing of. He never understood why he had to be the one to be laid eyes upon. His life was miserable, he wanted nothing but solitude. Yet God never gave up on making it worse. Each time he thought it was as worse as it could get, Entity made him question his sanity by worsening it beyond his possible imagination.
Yet he strived through it. He did what he had to, even if slowly it started to ruin him. He gave his best, he reigned on that land as the oldest to be known, to be chosen.
Still...
...You have served me well, Evan... it spoke, If that is the price of your loyalty and salvation, then I will give you one thing you desire the most...
Evan jolted upright, he picked up his machete and prepared for another trial, as the fog began to engulf him.
He was certain, dead set on getting her back.
________________________________________________________________________
"(Y/N)?!" Meg and Jake screamed at the top of their lungs as you appeared at the campfire, disheveled, struggling for each breath you took.
It took you a long time to settle to that feeling, that sight that came to you. You couldn't count the days, nor could anyone else. Not even hours, but you knew it had been a long time since they last saw you. Meg was slightly gaunt, Jake had started growing a beard, Claudette had tied her curly hair in a manner you had never seen.
All the eyes were on you, wide, disbelieving of your presence.
Jake and Claudette ran to you immediately, holding you tightly as if it was an illusion about to fade into thin air. Nothing could be trusted in that accursed realm.
...But you were real. Your were, in flesh.
Claudette's eyes welled up.
"We thought you fell in void..." Was all she could mutter, before her voice cracked.
As much as you missed this kind botanist, you realised, much to your horror, how alien things felt. You felt somewhat devoid of strong emotions you imagined you might be overwhelmed by, or if it was the shock of having survived through everything that wasn't letting you go.
"I told them," Jake said, "You were alive. You don't seem like the person who would give up so easily."
You nodded comprehensively, and you so wished even if for one moment you could speak. You lovingly patted his shoulder, letting him know you acknowledged his kindness. Quiet he was most of the time, he was the most comfortable to know, giving you much space and support when needed.
But that didn't ease their curiosity and suspicion.
"Where were ya', lass?" Bill asked, giving you an awkward tight bear hug, "Meg said something about that trial..."
You blood ran cold, making you paranoid and looking over your shoulder.
"It was Trapper right?!" She yelled, shaking, "I knew it! That sick monster used you. I knew from the day you went missing that Trapper was using the traps he forced you to modify for him. I KNEW IT!"
She began to stomp on the ground aggressively, and by that frenzied look she gave you, you only felt pity for her. You could only try to imagine little of what had come after your disappearance from the squad.
But, your head kept repeating against your will, He...He's not a monster...we had known, I had known.
He's a little, if not all, a little better than that. A little bit.
You might have been the one to fear and despise him once, but you had admitted that all that time you had spent under that roof with him, caring for each other, you had come to think a little positively of him.
You had come to, indeed, care for that man whose name you were certain you were never forgetting for your whole life.
But...would you go back to him?
"What did he do to you?" Meg asked, still frustrated, and traumatized, "What did he do to you? That bastard! Did he beat you to submit to his wishes? Torture you? R-"
"MEG!" Jake intervened, "She's just back, god knows what happened to her when he took her for a captive. I don't want to know right away. She already looks like she's been through hell."
"Entity," She sighed, "Entity knows everything. It wants anything and everything that sustains us. Demon! DEMON!" She began to yell at the sky, and while she seemed like she was going mad, I couldn't feel anything bad. She had seen enough, endured enough. If that could bring some peace to her, that was it.
Mist began to form around us, and Claudette suddenly began to hyperventilate. You held her arms instinctively and pulled her in a warm embrace.
"Already???" She questioned, shaken, "But you just came back?"
You nodded your head, patting her head.
You had dealt with the worst for now, you were pretty much ready for it.
________________________________________________________________________
As much as you believed to be ready for taking another beating in the trial, your senses sent your sanity down the rabbit hole, sinking in the darkness.
You felt your heart sinking in, the jittery feeling in your guts made it hard for you to be on your foot.
Macmillan Estate
Entity was playing games with you. And the feeling was obvious. The sight of traps on the ground made you sick. You weren't ready to face Evan, and you were certain of what he was going to do to you.
There were only to alternatives in front of you; get killed, or get trapped...forever.
You were unwilling to confirm to either one. But still, a part of you told you that he wanted you back...alive. you knew he lost temper easily, but he hadn't hurt you once in the time you had lived with him. He had only tended to your wounds, the skin you broke and the heart that was lonely.
...
Immediately, taking a sharp breathe, you scrambled up to your feet, stumbling a little bit, and went to the nearby gen.
"Fucking MEG!" Min cursed, "She had to do Entity dirty like that. Why not her? Why me?!"
You came from behind and gently tapped on her shoulder. Vaguely, she didn't flinch like you expected her to be. On the contrary, she frantically turned around, held my hands and took me to the generator, a little surprised.
"Sup iron maiden," She said with a goofy tone, "I am glad you made it out alive. You are one tough chic to beat our big beefy boi Trapper in this hide and seek game."
You could tell by the tone of the little perky chinese girl that she was trying her best to sound diligent. She was glad to know you were back, but didn't know how to show it.
"You know, lets just hide in the big bushes and wait for this guy to just get goofed around. Bushes are OP here!" She said, pointing at the big bush behind us, "Just make sure you don't step on the traps though."
You nodded, giving the girl a bright smile, which slightly disturbed her for some reason.
"Are you...sure you are alright by now?" She asked deliberately, "I don't know but, Trapper is a brutal guy, I hope he didn't hurt you that much. Because, you look healthier than before, that's why."
You became quiet, only nodding to let her know that her assumptions were right enough. Min didn't ask much after that, focusing on surviving more. She was adamant on keeping you away from Evan though, because as soon as Claudette went down, she was the one to go for the risk of it.
"I will deal with him. I am aware of tricks enough, you just find Bill and get the other Gen done."
Listening to her advice, you ran to Bill, busy on the farthest corner, looking for either a totem or a trap, Gen halfway done. He gave you a thumbs up and went in the shack to search for something, anything valuable, while you were busy doing Gen.
Almost about to complete it, your heart skipped a frantic beat as Feng screamed at the top of her lungs, agonized by the pain of a trap enclosed around her ankle. Quickly getting the Gen done, you rushed to her, realizing that she had freed herself, and now was down.
Bill face palmed...
"She got too excited, doesn't she?" He grumbled, "Kids need to learn first, I'll go for the girls, you look out for the totems."
You looked at him with knitted brows.
"Big boy Trapper got some hexes. I'm afraid one is Devour Hope. Be careful though, he might have Haunted Grounds like last time." With that, he took off to helping Claudette and Min, now hooked.
Panicking a little, you carefully crouched through the open spaces. Stupid it seemed, this was what you could do the best with someone experienced with hunting skills. Especially, someone who was obsessed with traps. Bushes were thick, so you didn't waste time searching through them and walked onto the plain grounds where you could see clearly.
Some cackling noises got you, more like tinkering ones. You knew immediately a hex was placed there. As expected, it was hidden under the shed, in the storehouse. Without thinking twice, you started working on it, hoping that it weren't Haunted Grounds.
Your heart frantically picked up pace, and as your nerves began to lose its calm, you knew you were spotted. You didn't stop, only quickened your pace. You had belief that it was going to be the right one.
The feeling of someone breathing down your neck got you to freeze.
"I'll take this one," Bill spoke, "Finish it!"
You took it upon yourself as you cut through the ropes as fast as you could with your bare hands and ripped the skulls apart, causing a little explosion there.
Devour Hope.
You never felt so content with cleansing a Hex totem so quickly and urgently. Bill immediately made a run for the window, as Evan switched his target from the old army man to you.
His mask was thick, but his eyes were blazing red. You could simply feel the excitement and wrath in him.
"Shit." Bill cursed, forgetting that you hadn't made a move yet. Obviously you were a fool to do so, and his mere sight paralyzed you.
Before you could do anything, Evan grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and pulled you over his shoulders without much effort. You tried, but not a single muscle in your body reacted to your culminating desire to fight back. You were limp.
A loud blood-curling scream suddenly made you aware of Bill's lingering presence. He had been struck down with such force he was on the ground, struggling to get up. Poor old man tried to come to your rescue, his unused flash bang lying on the ground.
You were thrown onto the floor immediately, as if Evan had changed his mind, while you struggled to crawl to the nearby dark corner, suffering from trauma without any physical injury.
Another loud scream caught your attention, and this time, you wished so badly you hadn't looked back. You had no voice in your throat, yet it felt sore as you tried your best to scream or yell, reaching out to the poor man, as Evan kneed him down to the ground so hardly he coughed up blood, a sickening crunch of bones letting you know he had broken his pelvis.
"Say, Old Man, ain't I better this time." Evan said, grabbing his head, "I have decided to play a little...brutal this time."
With that, he pushed the bear trap ferociously onto his head, sadistically crushing his head underneath it.
You felt as if a little more you had given some pressure to your throat, you could have screamed. The sight of his skull's remains splattered across the place was inhuman, and the darkness in the place allowed the goriest of its details to be obscured. Still, his muffled screams, chocked on his own blood, were obscene, and nightmarish to forget.
Evan spared you a stern, quick glance. He, however, didn't advance towards you, only stared at you.
"You better know this by now...you aren't escaping anytime soon." He spoke grimly, "You have made things worse for both of us. I meant it when I said that, even though now I meant it the other way. I am keeping you as long as we are here."
He kneeled down to look right into your eyes, "We are going back home."
With that, he left to find Claudette and Min, while you struggled in the corner, pondering over his words. It was a threat to you, your sanity, your freedom. You were escaping that trial at any cost, you were not going to become his captive again.
You pulled yourself off the ground and ran out in the open, searching for Feng and Claudette.
________________________________________________________________________
Claudette met the same gruesome fate as Bill. Evan had become a feral beast, slave to his rage. You were certain he had not been able to accept your success at escape. He was, in one way or another, punishing you, reminding you on how it wasn't the best you had done, but made it horrible for others.
But the what he reminded you of going back home struck you as odd. He had never called that place home so far.
There was no home in that accursed realm. People were dying there, hopelessly, painfully.
The moment, Feng was downed, your instincts took hold of you. You refused to let her die. Meg died when you could help her, Bill died too, Claudette didn't deserve it. Min's pitiful cries were crawling under your skin, it didn't make it any easier.
Whatever you could to prevent that from happening, you did. Without a thought, you threw yourself at Evan, holding him back from coming any closer to the battered little girl.
"(Y/N)!!!" She screamed, "He'll kill you. He'll kill us both!"
You kept him there, held back with the little strength that was left in you. You were certain that this big burly man, thrice your size, was unaffected by your little frame. Still, it baffled you, when he struggled against you. You could save only one of the two, you chose to fight back that time, making Feng crawl to the nearby hatch, struggling to open it.
"It's open!" She screamed urgently, "Push him and run. RUN!"
As much as you were willing to do that, you knew it was useless. Evan had held you by your scrawny arms, you couldn't flee from that desperate hold. It was tight, it was urgent, vague, very vague. It was scarily demanding, but hard to comprehend what he wanted from you.
Finally, he broke, he broke down.
"SHE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" If you weren't focusing on that voice, you would have missed how it almost cracked at that end, "SHE'S ALL I HAVE AFTER ALL OF THIS! I WANT HER BACK! I WILL TAKE HER BACK!"
"I do care...I do love her. Leave her. Let me have the only thing that makes me want to live. Let me have the only thing I never had."
...As much as you wished to not want to ponder on it, a distinctive haze took over your mind, as if seeing things, things from the other side as you desperately clutched to his arms, holding him back from reaching out to the injured survivor behind you, who was still dead set on escaping with you.
Something overwhelmed you, something heavy...unforgettable...sorrowful.
"Evan..." An alien voice, unknown to you, called out to him, and he froze as if he heard it, "Evan...EVAN!"
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"The hell you looking at Evan," He spoke in a brutish manner as he eyed the little boy with slight built, his eyes critical of his gesture. That poor boy shuddered under his spectating eyes.
"We've got the big one, the little bear might have run away by now." As much as he wanted to stand up to his father's expectations, Evan couldn't bring himself to harm another life.
He knew it. He was capable of what his father wasn't. He was capable of love, giving it...and keeping it. He loved his father, even if his definition of love for his son was plagued by paranoia. That mother bear was a lost case, struggling in the bear trap. His father kneeled down beside her, ready with his big knife.
He didn't want to see that.
"I'll go and find the baby bear." He urgently spoke, running into the direction where the little paw marks were headed to.
He felt that pinching sensation in the back of his neck, and almost wondered, with heavy guilt, if the mother bear was watching him.
...No! I can't do it! It's just...it's just a little child.
He watched as the little bear crouched into the bushes, watching him with much fear that clouded his now dewy eyes. He was just a little baby to him, having just started his journey. He could let him go, and lie that he had made it much farther.
"EVAN!" his father yelled from across the woods, "WHERE ARE YOU?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BEAR?!"
He could let him go...but he would find him.
"EVAN! DO YOU HEAR ME? BRING ME THE BEAR!!!"
Shutting his eyes close so hard as if never wanting to open them, to be sewn shut to never look at the filthy ugliness of the world he had just started to know, he plunged the damned blade down into the creatures heart. It struggled, whimpered, thrashed his tiny chubby limbs around.
Tears welled up in his eyes, not from the pain of his tiny claws that did nothing more than clawing at his arms, and little bit to the side, but the dread, as death slowly started to take over him. His eyes, big and dark, stared into Evan's, pleading for mercy.
Mercy...just mercy. No more.
"You deserve...better than a monster." He muttered, before plunging the knife deeper. He finally gave in to the looming dread.
The little one was dead.
"Evan! I have been looking for you! What happened?...Evan?" The man called out to the little boy, who turned to face him with a calm smile, proudly holding the bloodied knife up.
"I killed him father!" He was beaming with pride as he said, "He fought with me, I had to do something. I wrestled him down to the ground, and stabbed him through the chest."
"That's my BOY!" The older man patted his back, "Next time, I want you to catch the bigger fish. Tell me another good tale then, it better be more adventurous than this one."
His father was proud as he marched towards the tiny building ahead, dragging the dead bear with him. Evan did his best, he knew.
He had to.
His father believed him that he had taken down the bear with much pride. The pride that was stinging like needles inside his heart.
He never knew, because he never looked back at Evan. Even if he did, he would have thought that the tears were from the pain of bleeding scratches. He kept on smiling for his father, he never broke that smile, even if from inside, he felt nothing more than that urge to please the father who was living in obliviating light of knowing his son did everything for him.
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That poor soul...
Suddenly everything made sense to you. The moment Evan advanced towards Min, she slipped into the hatch, not wanting to face her demise at his hands. Evan, however, didn't break away from your grasp.
You had seen enough, the man was still shaking, either from a dreaded past that was catching up to him, or simply the agony of not able to take Entity's torture any further. What could he potentially do to break free from him?
He was still, but an ordinary person, who had no power over entity in that shape.
He was the one compelled to submit to its wishes so he would be spared. Ironically, life worked that way, with or without entity. One reigned over others, the others bend the knees. The stronger ruled the weaker, rebellion only worked in masses. But then, they all lacked the spine to do so.
You hung your head low, walking alongside Evan, back to the place from where you had fled. Suddenly, the place seemed a little calmer than before. It wasn't misty, the air wasn't thick. He was a little kinder to pat your hunched shoulders, without any malice, when you thought about that.
"It's a pity," He said, "You had to see that."
You nodded as you walked, the woods thickening behind you, darkening, blending into the dark mist.
"But that's how it all works. Who knows for how long we are trapped here?"
...
"We may or may not make it out. I can, however, try to make it a little pleasant for the rest of the time here."
Evan still kept that diary you wrote in. It was some time before you had written on it. Most of the things you wrote were disparagingly horrible, like wishing death upon him, telling him constantly how you despised him, that he was meant to be hated and all, and that it was impossible for you to ever love him.
...And he still kept it at the place where he slept, as if he always opened it, read it.
The first thing you did when seeing that diary was to rip those pages off and burn them into the fire lit onto the hearth into the hollow of fireplace.
Forgive me, Evan.
He smiled, albeit, sorrowfully.
If only things were a bit different for us, I would have held your hands back in that world from where we were taken. I would have loved to know you.
He froze, he didn't say anything for that, but you wouldn't blame him. There were things that didn't need to be said, just to be understood. His face spoke for itself.
Things can still be better here, if not that way. I am still down for that. I can try, if still failing, to make it home...again.
All he could do for that, was hold your hand. You didn't need anything more than that for the moment.
Humans...It wondered...silly love. Silly...but interesting. Hate, Love, Lust, Disgust, Fear, Courage...Mankind was full of wonders. Ugly, but beautiful at the same time.
Entity wouldn't admit it...but it had been a long time since it was so taken with a lifeform so versatile as humans. It was hopelessly smitten with them.
Even in the phase of hopelessness, desolation, they had found love.
Love was a drug...he had fed on all forms of known emotions, but love and hate stood out. Hate was no remedy to it, and even in that the very taste of love remained.
For once, it thought, that it was the time to risk addiction. Who knew for how long love would sustain it...or would it ever need to feed again.