Angel
I stared blankly out of the window watching as the sun rise. Even when I found myself tired throughout the day, I still couldn't sleep at night.
I know it's mainly my fault. The constant nights of partying until morning was finally catching up to me. I thought it would be a good idea to have a night out with my friends, not even realizing that I had an 8:15am flight to catch to Miami.
Physically, I was drained but my mind was wide awake. I had mixed emotions about visiting this Jay guy. I never really had a father, and now I suddenly do and it feels weird. I know this trip is meant for us to bond more, but I was having second thoughts.
Thankfully, Beyoncé will be there with me. I smiled at the thought of her and how long it's been since the last time we saw one another in person. She's the only reason I still felt somewhat comfortable going to Miami. If she would've given me no as her final answer, I wouldn't have gone either.
I was liking the progress of our relationship. It's easier for me to open up to her now and I could tell she had grown comfortable with me. She always applauded Charlotte for the way she raised me.
I could hear it in her voice sometimes how she wish she was given the chance to raise her own child, but she never spoke ill towards Charlotte. It was obvious that she had a good heart, which only made me realize how much I did love her.
I'm hoping for the same outcome with Jay. I know we won't be the best of friends so soon, but I'm hoping his intentions are genuine and we can work towards building that. Right now, I'll just go with the flow and enjoy the treatment of spending my parents money and not having to worry about a thing.
I could hear my alarm going off and quickly ended it before the sound could get any louder. As asked, I got out of bed and walked down the hall to Chace's room. I banged on the door loud enough for him and the neighbors to hear. I didn't stop until the door opened and he was glaring at me.
"Bitch, don't look at me like that. You told me to wake you up."
"You didn't have to knock like the police, bitch." He responded with a mean mug still plastered across his face.
I shooed him off and began to walk away, "Yeah, whatever. My mom picking us up in 'bout 30 minutes to take us to the airport. Be ready, nigga."
It didn't take me long to shower and get dressed. My bags were already packed so I still had time to waste. I fixed a quick breakfast while I waited on Chace and my mom. After a few minutes, Chace was finally ready and my mom was calling to say she's outside.
"It's cold as a bitch out here." I mumbled once we finally stepped outside with our bags.
"It's been raining, what you expect?" Chace smartly responded.
I looked his way before throwing my luggage inside of the trunk, "I promise I didn't ask for your commentary bro. Besides, it's hot in Miami so I'm dressed perfectly for their weather."
My mom, Charlotte greeted us both with a kiss on the forehead and a hug. "Morning boys! I stopped by McDonald's and bought you guys those McGriddle things."
"Thanks ma." Both Chace and I said at once. He was like family now, and my mom treated him like he was hers and vice versa. I had many friends and people I was cool with, but Chace was my right hand. We could have a fist fight and be friends again seconds later. It's the one true friendship I ever had.
The closer we reached the airport, the more nervous we became. This would be Chace's first time flying, while I was simply trying to get over the nerves of being around Jay again.
I could feel my mom taking quick glances at me. I looked at her and frowned when I noticed tears in her eyes. She turned up the volume of the rap music she claimed to hate so much; I knew then that she was trying to avoid crying.
"What's wrong?" I asked. I was never fond of seeing my mother cry — Her nor Beyoncé. I don't know why that pulled at my heart strings so much.
"Nothing," She quickly responded, "My allergies."
I chuckled, "That's cap. You're sad about me going to Miami?"
"Yeah, I am," She answered truthfully, "I don't know how to feel about all of this."
"Beyoncé will be there with me, everything's good."
She shook her head, "Tuh, like that'll help me feel better."
I sucked my teeth. I hate when she made everything about her. Instead of being proud and excited for me, she would rather think about how all of this was somehow pushing me away from her. Unbeknownst to her, she was pushing me away. Her constant attitude towards Beyoncé — a woman that has shown her nothing but respect — made me look at her differently.
"So what?" I said, throwing my hands up in defeat, "You don't want me to go to Miami? Just say you don't want me to be around them at all."
"Angel, it isn't that."
"It is. Just like Beyoncé's parents... You don't want her to have any connections with me. Why?"
"Angel!" She yelled out. She gripped the steering wheel as we pulled into the airport, "Stop the nonsense! Where do you even get that from?!"
I shrugged, "I got it from you. The way you act, the things you say... And then, Beyoncé tells me how her parents are; You knew who and where my birth mom was this entire time, and you played in my face by telling me she didn't want anything to do with me. You knew that shit was cap."
Charlotte gasped, "Excuse me?! You see what the woman turned you into? You're cursing at me now? In front of Chace?!"
I looked at Chace who seemed unbothered by our argument. He was enjoying the McGriddle too much, but I knew he was listening in.
"Chace is my best friend. He knows everything. There's no need to keep hiding the truth. I'm a grown man. You can be honest with me and say you purposely kept me away because Beyoncé's parents paid you to do so. If I wouldn't have gotten in that car accident and my life was on the line, I would have never met my birth parents. I just want the truth about my life and where I come from. Why would you want to take that away from me?"
She was in tears now, but thankfully we were already at the entrance of the airport. "Angel, I love you a lot and I need you! I have a fear of losing you, and I don't want to lose you to people who didn't want you in the first place."
"Crazy thing is, Beyoncé and Jay won't be the reason you lose me. You've been lying to me and keeping secrets about my life. You're honestly digging that hole for yourself."
I placed a kiss on her forehead and got out of the car before she could say anything else. Chace and I grabbed our belongings and walked into the airport. Once we were checked in, we headed for Starbucks to hopefully uplift our mood. Surprisingly, the sound of my phone ringing and the Caller ID reading Beyoncé was the only thing I needed to have me smiling again.
"Sup mama?" I never knew how she felt about me calling her mom now. I surprised myself the first time I said it, but it seemed natural for me to do so.
She laughed, "Hi Angel. Seems like you're in a good mood. I wanted to check in on you before your flight."
"I'm aight, we just waiting until the flight is called. You still coming right?"
"Yes. I just landed back in D.C. I won't make it out to Miami until a little after 5pm."
"Are you working? I thought you rescheduled?"
She sighed, "I thought I could, but things changed. That gives you enough time to hang with Chace and your dad though. We can do dinner soon as I land."
"We'll see how that goes. Be safe mom."
"Thank you baby, I love you! I have to go, but I'll call you later."
"I love you too." I began to say, but was cut off by the call ending.
__________
Jay
It's the best time of the year and Miami was the perfect place to be; specifically today. It was 92° and sunny so it was even hotter than it seemed.
I was excited to get my day started, and also excited to be spending time with Angel. His flight would be landing a little after 1pm so I had two hours until he made his arrival.
Like any other day, I watched the sun come up before crashing. A night session in the studio kept me awake until morning. I didn't even realize it was past 6am until I finally made it home and got comfortable in bed.
I shook my head thinking about this crazy lifestyle of mine that I've worked so hard for. So many sleepless nights and long flights, so many Grammy wins, so much partying, yet I still felt empty.
My mom would always tell me that I'm turning into my father, but at least he had her to come home to. I have yet to settle down and I know it's the missing piece in my life right now.
Just thinking about all the women I fucked over in my life made me sick to my stomach, but not for too long. I found myself strolling through a model's instagram page and liking a few of her pictures to help me cope.
Staying in Miami didn't help my issue at all. The women here only got prettier and prettier, and my money only made them flock to me more. I know I won't be able to find my wife living like this. I'll have to give this life up eventually.
I decided to finally get out of bed and get my day started. After handling my hygiene, I made myself a bowl of cereal and laid across the sofa to finish watching the show on Hulu that I was currently obsessed with.
Before I knew it, 1pm had arrived and Angel's flight would be landing soon. Since the weather was nice, I drove the Bentley GT Convertible with the top off. I made it to the pick-up area of the terminal and waited patiently for him and his friend.
My nerves were starting to get the best of me. For most of my life, I ran from the title of being a father. I knew nothing about being a dad to Angel. How was I suppose to keep my 19 year old son entertained when this would only be our second time meeting?
Even as I stood near the passenger door waiting, I wanted to run away and forget it all; But how could I do that to him? I already missed out on his life and despite all of the emotions, I do want to be there for him.
I took a deep sigh as I wondered if this was how Beyoncé felt when she first spent time with him. Those two are so close in bond, you would never believe they've been apart for all those years. That's expected with Beyoncé though. She was always loved by everyone. It's no question that Angel would love her just as much.
After minutes of watching people bypass, I perked up with excitement once I noticed Angel and his friend walking towards me. The resemblance between him and Beyoncé became visible right away and it left me stunned. It had hit me a thousand times already, but I couldn't help but awe at the fact that I had a child by my high school sweetheart.
"What's up?" I greeted Angel with a dap and did the same for his friend, who I now know as Chace.
"Sup?" Angel said in a low tone. I could tell by his voice and the lines on his face that he had just waken up.
"How was the flight? You must've slept the entire way?"
He nodded and began placing his bags into the trunk of the car, "Some like that."
"Lucky him. I couldn't sleep at all." Chace added once we were inside.
"Was this your first time flying?"
"Yeah. Appreciate you buying that ticket for me."
I chuckled and looked at him in the rearview mirror, "It's all love. Everything is on me while y'all here."
That seemed to be like music to Chace's ears while Angel just glared at me. It seemed as if he was reading me. I wish I knew what he was thinking, but I highly doubt I would want to hear it.
They were in awe as we pulled into the condo. They asked a lot of questions, so I gave them a brief tour of the 4 bedroom, 5 bathroom home. They were enjoying it, but I knew the reveal of the next room would get their attention.
We entered my home studio and they instantly fell in love with the set up. "This dope as fuck," Angel said. The look in his eyes brought me to a smile, "And you actually be in here?"
I shook my head, "Not as much. I'm rarely in this home anyways. I'm usually at an actual recording studio. I'll show y'all that at a later time though."
"What instruments do you play?" Angel asked while Chace held the guitar and imitated a rockstar. I could tell he was the silly one out of the two.
I leaned against the wall, "I can play any instrument you can think of."
"Dead ass?" I nodded, "You taught yourself?"
"When I was younger, yeah. I had my dad to teach me a few things too. Now, I'll take a few classes here and there whenever I need to."
Angel nodded, "Word. You know how to engineer too?"
"Yeah. Hate to sound like a cocky ass nigga, but I have hella Grammys already."
Angel and Chace laughed while I opened the closet to show them the four Grammys I've won just as a producer. I always envisioned myself being super famous, but the more I learned about the music industry, the more I became comfortable not being in the spotlight. So much came with being famous. As long as I was credited on projects and earning certifications, I was just fine with not being known.
Angel looked towards me, "This is nice. So it's cool if we make a few beats in here?"
"Yeah man, I don't care. Y'all don't want to do anything later?"
"Beyoncé's flight lands at 5pm," Angel said, "Can we wait until she's here before we do anything?"
I nodded before showing him a few keys on the engineering board. I was trying to hide it, but the thought of seeing her again gave me butterflies — a rare ass feeling. I had no clue she would be joining us, but that was perfectly fine to me. I would never get tired of being in her presence.
The moment with Angel in the studio was heart warming. I could see our bond growing right in front of my eyes. Any question he had pertaining to music and instruments I answered. He knew so much already and it made me feel guilty all over again.
I wish I could've been apart of his childhood to teach him all of the things he needed to know. I can't get that time back, but I will work as hard as I can to make up for it — only if he let me.
Hours passed and we were still in the studio. It was now a little after 7pm and I was starving. Angel had forgotten about Beyoncé's flight and rushed to call her. I could tell from their laughter and short conversation that she wasn't tripping.
"She's at the house she rented. She said she'll be ready in an hour." Angel alerted. I nodded and headed into my bedroom to freshen up. I was trying to stay cool, but I couldn't contain my excitement. Even after our two decades apart, she still had such a hold on me.
I know she probably doesn't feel the same; especially with her being married and all. Any other time, I probably would be chasing her around and making it known that I wanted her. I couldn't do that though.
I don't give a fuck about her fiancé, but I do respect her enough to not overplay my part. She could be so mean at times, so I know she still hates me. Earning our friendship back was most important to me right now.
I dressed casual for dinner and made sure to spray my favorite cologne. It was newly purchased, but I wore it a lot when I was dating Beyoncé. She always enjoyed the smell of it so I knew this would get her attention.
The boys were already dressed so once I was done, we headed for the door. Since I would be picking Beyoncé up, I drove the all black Tahoe that had enough space to ensure we all were sitting comfortably.
GPS alerted us that we arrived minutes later. We came to a stop in front of a nice ass home near the beach, which must've been the place Bey was staying. Angel confirmed it was the correct place and walked towards the front door.
__________
Beyoncé
"Fuck.." I mumbled when I heard the ringing of the doorbell. I slid the skirt over my heels and white bodysuit and quickly adjusted it to my liking.
I had been flying all of yesterday, and today so I was beyond tired. Once I made it to Miami, I met my personal shopper to collect the items she had went out to purchase for me. After a light snack, I laid down for an hour nap until Angel called. I snoozed for a little bit longer and now I was running late — per usual.
I checked myself out in the mirror once more before grabbing my bag and answering the door. I smiled wide seeing my son on the other side. We hugged for what seemed like forever because I didn't want to pull away; I could never get tired of his hugs.
"Hey baby!" I greeted, "You look handsome."
"Thank you. You look great too. Josh isn't here so who are you trying to look good for?"
I playfully rolled my eyes, "Shut up. It's Miami! And you should take some pictures of me on the steps over here."
It didn't take long for me to fall in love with the pictures he had taken. I took a few of him and we set a timer to take a few together. I sent them all to Josh and he sent a hilarious gif in return.
"Jay made reservations so we can't be late." Angel said to me, basically telling me to hurry up. I followed behind him out of the door and locked it using my phone. He held my hand as I slowly walked down the ramp to be sure I didn't tumble over. He opened the door for me as well and waited until I was in before getting in himself. He was such a gentleman that it made me want to cry. I guess I had Charlotte to thank for that.
"Hi Chace, Hi Shawn.." I greeted.
"Sup moms."
"Hey Bey." They said in unison.
It was an awkward silence as we rode to our destination. Aside from Angel and Chace gawking at the women we drove by, nothing else was said. We made it to the restaurant and Jay opened the back door for me. For the first time, we locked eyes and I felt that feeling. Those damn butterflies.
I could've opened it myself, I wanted to say but I responded with a nice thank you since he really didn't have to do it.
"No problem."
Once Jay gave the hostess the name for the reservation, we were led to the rooftop to a secluded table for 4.
Being surrounded by the ocean and palm trees gave me a sense of peace. I was feeling good so I ordered a drink before I could even look at the menu.
"Someone already trying to get lit." Chace nudged Angel and mumbled into his ear. I caught the two laughing and staring my way while I just shook my head.
"Why y'all didn't order a drink? Ha, I forgot. Kids." Jay and I laughed at my joke while they pretending as if their feelings weren't hurt.
Angel shrugged, "We going to the bar after this with our fake IDs. It's okay, I can suffer for now."
"Y'all have fake IDs?" Jay whispered.
The boys laughed, "Duh."
"We didn't need fakes when I was your age," I could only roll my eyes at him already sounded like an old head, "We just walked in without an ID."
"Maybe because y'all already looked old as sh— back then. I have a baby face. Without the beard, I look 12."
As they went back and forth, I studied the menu to figure out what I want. We eventually ordered and jammed out to the pop music that was being played as we waited.
"So I'm having relationship problems." Chace blurted. I was happy he had spoken and gotten rid of the silence between us.
"My girl doesn't trust me. She thinks Miami is like the city of hoes or something, and that I'll mess up."
Angel laughed at his friend's pain while I looked towards Jay. I'm sure he could help with that more than I could.
"Well, she didn't lie," Jay said to him, "It's a lot that can happen in Miami. She's probably heard some wild ass stories, but you just have to do your part by being honest with her."
"His girl is nuts," Angel shook his head, "She won't believe him. I promise."
"And why is that?" I asked, "Is it something you've done that won't allow her to trust you?"
The boys looked between one another before Chace nodded, "I cheated once but I was drunk, and it's old. Like 8 months ago old."
"Well that's definitely why it's hard for her to trust you. Like Jay said, she's probably heard wild stories. I know I have. Plus, 8 months isn't all that old. That's very fresh."
"He should've just dropped her when it happened and he wouldn't be having these problems." Angel mumbled.
I gasped and looked at him, "What type of best friend advice is that?"
"I don't know, but it works for me. Mom, girls bring headaches. I need someone that'll add to my life, not make it worse."
I didn't know what to say besides the fact that he was everything like his dad. Jay seemed to know that as well with the way he stared at Angel as if he was proud. I could only roll my eyes at him.
"Maybe you haven't met the right girl. Every girl doesn't bring a headache unless that's what you're bringing too."
Angel nodded, "You right. I'm not stressing it though. I have this one girl I talk to from time to time. I know she'll be my wife one day. Chace think it's silly when I say that, but I can see it happening."
"It was the same for me," Jay said, making us all look at him, "I always knew this one girl would be my wife one day. Even when we weren't dating, I would have these dreams and she would be in them."
"And let me guess, y'all never got married."
Jay quickly shook his head, "Nah. She's getting married to someone else."
"So basically you're telling me to stop talking to her because we obviously not gonna get married." Angel said making us all laugh. I couldn't help but to think Jay was talking about me though. It made me angry more than anything. He never appreciated me, and now he wants me to feel bad for marrying Josh? It doesn't surprise me that he's playing victim in a situation he messed up. Men.
Our food arrived and we were quiet for the remainder of the dinner. I had 3-4 drinks so I was tipsy and a little sleepy, but I didn't mind drinking more. I took a few shots with Jay before he paid the tab and we left.
"We're going to walk to the bars." Angel announced on the walk to the car.
"Why? Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yeah. They all right here. It wouldn't make sense to go all the way back."
I nodded and we shared a hug. "You boys be safe please. Call me if you need me."
"I will, love you."
I nearly cried hearing that, "I love you too!" I watched as he said his goodbyes to Jay as well before they walked away.
Once I was inside of the truck, I let the window down since it was hot as shit. Jay chuckled and turned on the AC as he pulled off.
"Why you didn't just say you were hot?"
I looked out of the window to avoid his glare, "Because I'm fine. I won't be in here long."
"Right..... This your first time in Miami?"
"Nope, but I see why you would enjoy living here."
"And why is that?"
"A nice beach. Beautiful women. Nice food. Big homes. The weather nice too."
He nodded, "All nice things, but it doesn't change much if you're empty on the inside."
I finally looked in his direction and noticed him lighting a Cigar. I don't know why, but he looked so damn good as he drove and smoked. He leaned to the side when he drove and that always turned me on.
We locked eyes, "I can tell..." I said before looking away.
"You can't."
"I can tell that me and my man getting married bothers you. I'm glad it is."
He frowned, "That doesn't bother me. Knowing I can't have you bothers me."
"Why aren't you bothered by the way you treated me?"
"How do you know that doesn't bother me? Because it does, actually. I think about it all the time."
I sighed, "Sure."
"Seriously Beyoncé. I know I hurt you. I was hurting myself in the process. I'm sorry for it all. You know I loved you."
"You loved me, but cheated on me, and walked away from me while I was pregnant with your child. I guess that's love."
"Nah, that wasn't love," I could feel his eyes on me as I looked out of the window, "That was me being young and stupid. Thinking I can do as I please and it won't backfire on me. I learned my lesson Bey. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me so we can move forward. I don't want it to be like this between us forever."
My face softened. I couldn't be mad at the world forever. I've been blessed enough to connect with my son. I know forgiving my parents and Jay would be the right thing to do. I was tired of carrying this trauma around me. It was time to let it all go.
So I forgave him. He let out a sigh of relief and we shared a laugh. "Thank you Beyoncé, forreal."
"Thank you. The pain turned me into a beast. And now I can focus on being a mom."
I got out of the car and he joined me. "Can I have a hug to celebrate us being besties again?"
That was so funny to me. I busted out laughing but it died down soon as I was in his arms. The smell of his cologne instantly put me in a daze. This feeling was so nostalgic for me. My head rested on his shoulders as we became comfortable holding one another — a little too comfortable.
Josh soon came to mind and I pulled away, "Nice cologne. You wore that for me huh? You're such a little whore for that."
This time it was him dying laughing. I nudged him and slowly began walking away, "Goodnight Jay."
"Goodnight?! It's 11pm. The night just getting started."
"And I've been flying planes since 3am. I'm exhausted."
"Just an hour..." He tried to convince, "We need to catch up anyways. I need to know how your scary ass become a pilot."
I smiled, "Okay, only an hour!"
I welcomed Jay into the home I rented for the week. I offered him a glass of wine and he filled both of our glasses. As he sat on the sofa, I went into the room to change into my pajamas for the night. I made sure to stay covered to not give him any ideas. Before joining him, I sent Josh a text.
B: Goodnight baby❤️I love you.
11:34 pm
J: Goodnight beautiful. Dinner was good?
11:36 pm
B: Yes, I'll call you in the morning. I'm so tired.
11:36 pm
I left my phone to charge and finally joined Jay on the sofa, "No TV?"
He laughed, "Nah, I just wanted to sit and talk with you. This place is nice as hell."
"Thank you. I found it last minute. Literally booked this the day before yesterday."
"Oh word? Shit's nice. Looks like you. Very elegant."
"So I'm elegant now? I remember I was a country bumpkin."
We both laughed and took a few more sips as we reminisced on our childhood together. We talked, and talked, and talked about everything. It felt good not having to argue with him.
We both grew tired. I was feeling like a zombie and only wanted to close my eyes, so I did. I woke up hours later and realized I had fell asleep laying on his chest. I sighed and cursed myself a little for doing that.
I put our empty wine glasses in the sink and then checked the time. It was 3:44 am. I decided to text Angel and thought about waking Jay up as well, but he seemed to be sleeping good.
B: Still out?
3:44 am
Angel: Yeah. Why you up?
3:50 am
Angel: 🫣You're at a bar too? Omg
3:51 am
B: I'm in bed silly. Just woke up and thought about you. Be careful out there, love you.
3:52 am
I nudged Jay and watched as his eyes slowly opened. He looked at me strangely but his face soon softened.
"Damn, I didn't mean to fall asleep here."
I smiled, "It's okay. I know it's late to drive, but Angel and Chace are still out. They won't be able to get inside if you're here."
"Shit, you right. Good lookin' out."
"Yup. I'm going upstairs to bed now. I'll lock the door behind you from my phone."
He mumbled, "High tech shit. That's cool though. I'll see you sometime later then?"
"Maybe."
He chuckled and slowly nodded, "I'll take that. See you later Bey."
__________
Hey y'all, hope you've enjoyed this chapter! I wanted to give y'all more, but I'll do that in the next one😙
— What are your thoughts on Charlotte? Would y'all like to see more of her? Do you agree with Angel that she's pushing him away?
— I'm loving Angel + Chace's friendship. They're the perfect balance.
— Would you guys like to see more of Jay and Angel bonding one on one?
— Bey and Jay? B finally forgave him. How long you guys think Jay can stay in the friend zone before he try his luck? 😅
— Y'all enjoying this so far? What would you guys like to see happen from here?
As always, thanks for supporting me.
Please vote and comment!