During School, Zoey was sitting at her desk, board. She leaned her chin on the palm of her hand, while Cory and Shawn were having a conversation.
"Good morning, class." Mr. Feeny greeted as he walked into the class. "I would like you all to let out your most agonized groan." Everyone in the class groaned. Mr. Feeny clasped his hands together. "Good. Now, let's start playing our springtime class play."
"Ohh!" Everyone in the class, including Zoey groaned even louder. She looked down, placing her hands through her hair.
"Been there, heard that." Mr. Feeny told the class. "Now, before you give up in despair... you may want to hear my play selection. It has sword fights, murder, skulls... even ghosts. How does that sound?"
"Sounds like Spielberg." Cory said, rubbing his hands in excitement.
"Sounds like Shakespeare." Mr. Feeny corrected.
"Sounds like a loser." Shawn stated.
"We will be doing selected scenes from the play Hamlet." Mr. Feeny announced.
Zoey scoffed and rolled her eyes. "You just love it, don't you, Mr. Feeny?"
"Just a little, Miss Francis." Mr. Feeny said, before he began handing out the book 'Hamlet' to the class. "Mr. Hunter, in the parlance of the theater... you will be a spear carrier."
"Excellent." Shawn said, smiling. "So this guy I play is like, what, a warrior and a hero?"
"No. This guy you play has very few lines to memorize." Mr. Feeny said, before he turned to Zoey and placed a book at her desk. "Miss Francis, you will be playing Gertrude."
"Who's that?" Zoey wondered.
"She's the mother of Hamlet." Mr. Feeny said.
Zoey smiled. "Cool."
"Miss Lawrence, you will be playing the tragic heroine Ophelia." Mr. Feeny informed Topanga, passing her a book. "Now, this is a challenging role. She goes quite insane."
Cory huffed. "Topanga insane? What a stretch."
Topanga turned around in her seat to face Cory. "If I were a less-evolved person, I'd say cram it, brillo-head."
"Mr. Minkus... you will be playing the role of the wise old Polonius." Mr. Feeny told him.
"Polonius?" Minkus questioned. "He only has forty-eight lines. I sort of pictured myself as the melancholy Dane."
"For those of you unfamiliar with the reference... Mr. Minkus means the lead role, Prince Hamlet." Mr. Feeny explained to the class. "Now, this is a tricky part to cast... because Hamlet gets on a lot of people's nerves. He makes one stupid mistake after another... and for five acts he never shuts up."
Zoey immediately snapped her head towards Cory... Everyone in the class did as well. Cory wasn't paying attention until he noticed the room go quite. He looked up to see everyone looking at him, knowingly.
"What? Do I have a booger?" Cory asked.
••••
Next day in class, everyone had placed their desks in a circle inside the classroom. Zoey sat beside Shawn on one of the desks, while Cory was reciting his lines since he was the main character in the play. He held the book and began to read it.
"'To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the sling and arrows of - Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." Cory said, starting to get bored. He then turned to Mr. Feeny, who sat at his desk. "Mr. Feeny, who wrote this garbage?"
"Some say Shakespeare's plays were written by a group of individuals... but I don't necessarily believe that." Mr. Feeny responded.
"I personally subscribe to the Francis Bacon Theory." Minkus spoke, sitting on one of the desk near Cory.
Zoey furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"
"I go with the Jimmy Dean sausage theory." Shawn said, and Zoey chuckled softly.
"Please continue, Mr. Matthews." Mr. Feeny insisted.
"Okay." Cory said as he went back down to the book, and began to read it. "'To die, to sleep - no more. And by a sleep to say we end the heartache'." Cory turned to Mr. Feeny. "Can I please stop whining and shove a sword though somebody's guts?"
"Yes, as soon as you get to the queen's chamber." Mr. Feeny told him.
"See, there's your problem right there." Cory began, approaching Mr. Feeny's desk. "You want murder, you want suspense... you don't go to your mother's bedroom."
"And how are you going to improve the greatest play in English literature?" Mr. Feeny wondered.
"Well, for starters... let's set this thing in a burning skyscraper. Then I could do sort of a Bruce Willis thing, you know? Shooting Uzis, blowing away terrorists... jumping out windows." Cory explained, before holding the book. "All this guy Hamlet does is talk. He even talks when nobody's there."
Mr. Feeny stood up from his desk and paced around the classroom. "Prince Hamlet finds himself in the middle of a terrible dilemma. Whatever course of action he chooses... could have dire consequences. He is racked with indecision. He is one of literature's most human characters."
"You mean most wimpy characters." Cory said, raising his eyebrows. "Wimps talk, heroes do stuff."
"The gospel according to Jean-Claude Van Damme." Mr. Feeny told him, placing his hands on his hips. Topanga than walked into the classroom, wearing some kind of purple-pink dress whilst holding another costume. "Ah, Ophelia, don't you look authentic."
"Thank you, Mr. Feeny." Topanga said, before she turned to Cory. "Here's your costume. Jeddiah sewed it last night."
Mr. Feeny held the costume up. It was black doublet and black tights. Zoey couldn't help but chuckle softly, trying to imagine Cory in that thing.
"Wait a minute. What was your Dad thinking? This is a minidress and a pantyhose." Cory said to Topanga, gesturing to the costume.
"No, No. Actually this is a doublet and tights... which is how male actors dressed back in the 1600s." Mr. Feeny told Cory, observing the costume.
"You know, maybe if Hamlet had worn pants... he could have made a decision or two." Cory said.
Topanga gave Cory a pointed look. "Is that a sexist comment?"
"That's what I was shooting for." Cory responded.
"Don't listen to her, Cor. Her dad sews." Shawn pointed out with a smirk.
"Now, listen. Part of this assignment is to learn the classical style. So doing the play in its original form... will help with the lesson." Mr. Feeny told the class.
Zoey turned to Shawn, confused. "What lesson?"
"Okay, Mr. Feeny, you don't want to listen to my ideas... the kind of ideas that could make this play famous, fine. But don't expect me to sit around like Hamlet did and take it." Cory said to Mr. Feeny.
"Oh, and what do you propose to do?" Mr. Feeny asked.
"I quitteth." Cory said, placing his hand on his chest, before making a dramatic exit out of the classroom. Zoey and Shawn smirked.
••••
"A stunning series of jabs from Matthews staggering an unsuspecting Feeny." Shawn said as he and Zoey finally caught up with Cory in the hallways once class was finished.
Cory stopped at the lockers and turned to Shawn and Zoey, with a proud expression plastered on his face.
"A simple move in the art of negotiation... my little spear carrier." Cory responded.
Zoey crossed her arms over her stomach. "You think he'll give in?"
"What choice does he have?" Cory questioned. "Without me, he'll have to cancel the play. It's less than a week away. I mean, who else is he going to find who has my, dare I say, charisma?"
"Yeah, that and no one else knows all the lines." Shawn added.
"Now I am alone." A voice said. The three of them turned around to see Minkus, dressed in fully black as he leaned against the lockers. He approached the three of them. "Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave am I?"
Cory raised his eyebrows. "You, Hamlet?"
"Thou speaketh true." Minkus responded.
"Thou speaketh like Snagglepuss." Shawn lisped. Zoey snickered slightly at the joke.
"Melancholy Dane - he was Danish. Maybe I should do this with a Scandinavian accent." Minkus suggested before he started to speak with a Scandinavian accent. "Soft you know, the fair Ophelia. Nympth, in thy orisons be all my sins remembered."
And with that Minkus walked away. Shawn, Zoey and Cory gave the nerd a weird expression.
"Wait till Feeny sees our Prince Haagen Dazs over there." Cory said, gesturing to Minkus, before turning to his friends. "He's going to be begging me to come back to the play - with my Uzi. Coming to an elementary school near you - Hambo, Part Six: To Kill or Not to Kill."
••••
Next day at school, they were all in the auditorium practicing the play. Minkus was standing over Topanga, who laid on her grave, pretending to be dead. But now that Cory had left the play, Minkus was now Hamlet and Shawn was no longer a spear carrier. He got bumped up to play Polonius. But Zoey couldn't keep a straight face whenever they would do rehearsals, due to laughing when she see's Shawn wearing a fat suit under his costume
Zoey was wearing a blue, old queen outfit. The dress was a little tight above her waist but it was puffy at the bottom. She stood on stage, while Minkus was delivering his lines, but he facing the wrong way.
"What is he... whose grief bears such an emphasis." Minkus said.
"Stop, Mr. Minkus." Mr. Feeny instructed.
"I answer only to Hamlet." Minkus responded.
"Stop, Mr. Hamlet." Mr. Feeny said as he walked onto the stage and approached Minkus. He sighed. "You're supposed to face the audience."
"Aren't I?" Minkus asked.
Minkus turned around, he wasn't wearing his glasses. He was about to walk off the podium but Mr. Feeny caught quickly caught him.
"Hamlet, where are your glasses?" Mr. Feeny wondered.
"Mr. Feeny, they didn't have eyeglasses in the Middle Ages." Minkus pointed out.
"Put on your glasses and climb into Ophelia's grave." Mr. Feeny instructed.
"You know, I read an article... that Elizabeth English is a lot like American Southern so let me who you a little something I've been playing around with." Minkus said, putting his glasses back on. He then started speaking in a Southern accent as he placed his foot on Topanga. "Shazam! Show me what thou't do. Woo't weep? Woo't fight? Woo't tear thyself?"
"Oh, great. Ernest goes to Denmark." Cory sighed. Zoey looked over to see Cory standing beside Shawn, watching the rehearsal.
"Stuart, I can't breathe." Topanga gasped.
"Stick to the script." Minkus told her.
"Your foot is on my liver." Topanga said, before she took his foot and pushed him off her. Minkus went crashing onto the floor.
"I can't work like this." Minkus complained.
Zoey rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it."
"All right, all right, I've had enough of rehearsal. I want you all to go home." Mr. Feeny told the class.
Zoey sighed in relief, before making her way towards the boys.
"Hey, looks like we can shoot hoops after all." Cory told Shawn, who was walking up onto the stage.
"Hey..." Zoey called out, approaching them. "Don't forget about me."
"Yeah, let me just go park my gut in the wardrobe room." Shawn said, gesturing to his fat suit.
"Same." Zoey said, looking down at her ball gown outfit. "I am not shooting hoops in this dress."
"You look nice." Shawn complimented. The corners of his mouth lifting up into a smile as he observed her.
Zoey rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Hunter."
••••
It was the day of the play. Zoey was up on stage in her outfit with a few classmates including, Minkus, Shawn and Topanga. The brunette was most surprised that Cory took on the role as a spear carrier. She was even more surprised to see that her mother had came, as she sat down in the audience.
"Oh, that this too, too sold flesh would melt... thaw and resolve itself into a dew." Minkus acted.
Zoey sighed before she saw one of the spear carrier talking to Cory. A moment later, he walked up to Shawn and poked his gut, popping it with his spear. Zoey chuckled as they started fighting. She immediately went over to break up Shawn's fight, and before she knew it, everyone on stage was fighting.
As Zoey continued to try breaking up the fight, she was pushed in the back and fell onto the floor. She chuckled as she leaned on Shawn. She looked up to see Cory, who was the only one on stage.
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PUBLISHED: January 31, 2018
WORDS: 2095