Nox
Present
We are going to Idaho Falls.
After our little discussion with Jimin, we go over at Yoongi's to let him into our plan and to my surprise he complies. He's seems rather enthusiastic about it which seems to cheer Jimin up, and then we start looking for places to stay and things to do in Idaho while I search for the most affordable plane tickets.
I'm cozied up under a dove gray blanket which shockingly enough doesn't smell like weed and munch on some vinegar chips. Jimin rubs my leg affectionately under the blanket and it takes an incredible amount of willpower and actual physical strength for me to not lean on him and play with his hair or kiss his lips or tell him how much I love him.
"Is there anything I can do you guys?" Jimin asks and I give him a look. "Feels kind of awkward standing here doing nothing."
"I'm craving Mac Donald's." Yoongi mumbles then tosses his phone over to him. "I want two cheeseburgers, fries, a Coke and throw in a Happy Meal. You guys get whatever you want, it's on me."
"I want chicken nuggets and fries." I say as I scroll through flights and airlines. "And a Sprite."
"Got it," Jimin murmurs as he places our orders.
"I found a place in the city," Yoongi suddenly says. "Three bedrooms, one bathroom. Close to the city and the hot springs."
"I want to go ski." Nox whines. "Also, watch the price range per night. We're all broke here."
"Trust me I know."
"I was thinking, what if we invited more people?" Jimin suddenly suggests.
"Good one," Yoongi snorts.
"I'm serious. We will be staying there for a couple of days, right? Think of it, the more people we have, the less we pay."
"Getting a bigger place is more expensive dumbass."
"We will talk shit out with the owner and negotiate." Jimin says to him. "I'll handle the talking. You just sit back and keep your mouth shut before you offend anyone, and we end up with an overpriced house."
Yoongi rolls his eyes in annoyance when he puts his phone down and takes out a pack of cigarettes from his Salems from his back pocket. He brings it up to his lips and lights it up while saying, "And who are you planning to invite huh? Your shitty fucking friend who slept with your ex or weirdo Taehyung? What's up with him by the way Nox?" He blows out the excess smoke and looks at me with a curious expression. I tense up when he mentions Taehyung and I can feel Jimin stiffen next to me on the couch.
"Taehyung and I aren't seeing each other anymore." I finally say.
"Oh, shit. Didn't know that."
"Yeah, it's over now."
"I have more friends than you dick." Jimin snaps at him and Yoongi laughs.
"Sure, you've got more friends who are fuckin rats."
Jimin's hand stills on my leg.
"Are you talking about yourself?" He says lowly, his eyes going dark.
"Calm down man, I'm just fucking with you."
"Fuck off." Jimin retorts then gets off the couch. "Do whatever the fuck you want."
"Jimin," I say softly, but he ignores me.
He walks towards the exit and slams the door shut on his way out.
"That's very fucking mature Yoongi." I retort. Since the moment is all ruined now, I lift my body off the couch and stalk to the door when Yoongi suddenly grabs my arm.
"I'm sorry Nox, I-I don't know what got into me I-"
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to Yoongi." I say. "What you said to him was very cruel. Even for you."
"I know, I know, I'm just fucking angry at myself for being this way."
"What do you mean?"
"Are you fucking him Nox?" Yoongi deadpans.
A hysterical laugh leaves my lips and I run my hand through my hair as I hold onto the doorknob for support. "That is none of your business Yoongi."
"So, you are." He mutters more to himself than me. "I didn't mean to be cruel; I just couldn't handle it."
"Handle what?"
"I always knew you had a soft spot for Jimin ever since he moved here. I remember when I saw you from the bathroom window while smoking; you helped him bring his shit up and that's something you don't bother yourself with when new tenants arrive. You would fight and argue with him, and you make up just as fast and now you don't fight at all." Yoongi continues. "I saw you two, the night I got discharged. I was going to smoke a joint before I go to bed when I saw you at the fountain."
"What is your point, Yoongi?"
"My point is, why did you hide it from me?"
"Because I wanted to avoid a situation like this." I tell him. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings Yoongi and so does Jimin. He knows you still feel things for me, and he doesn't want to hurt you either."
"I don't want you guys to walk on tip toes around me." He manages. "I care for you both and we're all adults here, so you don't have to fucking hide your relationship on my account. If you're happy, then I'm happy."
"Really?" I arch my brows and cross my arms. "Because you've got a weird fucking way of showing it."
Lately, Yoongi has been acting strange; stranger than usual if that's even fucking possible and he's been very argumentative. He'd start fights with Jimin out of nowhere and I would have to be the one collecting the pieces. It started out with small stupid things that you could easily shake off, but now he has crossed over the line by bringing up Sam and Evelyn and by trashing on his friends. I tease Jimin all the time because I like earning reactions out of him, but not to this level. And I could tell that Jimin did him a favor by stepping out, because I could see how mad that crude remark of his made him. It's a good thing Jimin didn't let his anger take ahold of him otherwise I don't know if I could deal with another violent mess right now. I admire his self-control, but unfortunately that means that he's bottling his temper in a flask.
His silence is the most alarming signal.
"I'm sorry Nox." He says, leaning his back against the door. "Jesus, I'm fucking things up again."
I kneel to face him and grab his arms in a consoling manner. "What's wrong Yoongi? Tell me."
"Look at the date."
I turn on my phone only to see that it's November 26th.
"Shit, Yoongi." I put my arms around him and hold him close to me. He rests his head on my chest while taking deep breaths.
"I have to go see him, but it hurts every damn time."
"It's okay, Yoongi." I say soothingly. "It's okay. We can go see him together if you want. I can drive you there."
"No, it's fine."
"You don't have to go through this alone." I remind him. "We're here for you."
He scoffs. "Yeah, I just fucked shit up with my best friend."
"Then go talk to him. Apologize for being a dick." I say. "He'll understand."
"Guess I have no fuckin choice."
"Okay," I say with a smile. "Let's go."
"Actually," he starts "can you take him there? I'll find you guys at Falcon Cove. There's someplace I need to go first."
"Of course."
***
"Care to tell me why we drove for an hour and a half to the middle of nowhere?" Jimin asks with a grouchy voice that makes me giggle. "I told you I'm not in the mood to go outside." The wind whips across our faces, blowing away our hair and I put on my beanie to keep it intact while Jimin adjusts his glasses. We're currently standing right next to my car waiting for Yoongi, but of course Jimin doesn't know that yet. If he did, he would never agree to come with me all the way out here.
We're just standing there gazing at the Cove from a distance, how the trees are standing tall on top of hills and rocky places. All the green clears out once you reach the shore and from there on its only sand and ocean waves. Crystal clear waters, that clash against sharp rocks; the scent is refreshingly intoxicating. The air is clear out here, smoking cigarettes is a sin out here; far away from the noise and the pollution that takes place in the city.
"Don't you feel a little bit better though?" I ask innocently, taking his hand in mine and he offers me a kind smile.
"Yeah, I do." He murmurs, giving me a hug. "This place is beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here, Nox."
"I'm happy you've lightened up."
"I'm kind of hungry though." He says. "Never got the chance to enjoy our meal back at his apartment."
"I promise we're going to eat soon." I assure him and Jimin turns to look at me.
"What's that supposed to mean? Are we expecting someone?"
"Can I tell you something about this place?"
"Sure."
"The last time I came here was three years ago. It was a busy day in school, I was with Elijah back then and I remember we were sitting in the cafeteria. I remember that day vividly, as if it happened yesterday. Cam and Madison were bickering, talking about going to some club and Elijah wanted to go a little bit earlier because he had work to do in the morning." I begin saying and Jimin is quietly listening to me. "At that time, I had trouble studying and I used to play volleyball. My grades were fucking terrible, and they would jeopardize my time on the field, so I asked for help. More like I was lucky enough to get the help I needed. I was being tutored by Yoongi for a week, for this English Lit paper I had to write about 'Lolita' and he explained everything so delicately that for once I was able to actually understand and eventually absorb the subject matter.
"Yoongi never accepted money. All the times I offered; he'd refuse. Instead, he asked for meals since I revealed that I'm great at cooking." I continue and I notice Jimin smiling from the corner of my eye, but as soon as he notices me looking, he tries to hide it. "He loved everything I ever made, and I liked making things for him. Then I got my paper back and I got a perfect score. It was the first time I got a good grade and it made me so happy, that I couldn't simply keep it to myself. Now you're probably thinking, why is she so caught up in getting an A. It's not a big deal to you, because you're used to acing classes and learning things at a steady pace, but for me it's different." Jimin doesn't say anything. His body is facing mine, his lips in a straight line waiting for me to complete my story.
"I had trouble concentrating and I made a lot of spelling mistakes because I'm dyslectic. I had issues since I was young, letters swimming all over the place and had trouble differentiating stuff, so whatever came to you almost naturally, it was a burden to me. And that's why getting an A was such a big deal Jimin. Because for the first time, I managed to do something that came to others with ease. If it weren't for Yoongi's help, I would fail."
"That's amazing, Nox." He comments as soon as I finish. "But why are you telling me this?"
I take his hand in mine and caress his fingers. "Because I want you to understand something."
"What is it?"
"I'll get to that soon," I tell him. "That day, I messaged Yoongi saying that I got an A in my paper. He was going through some things, so he didn't answer right away, but when he did, we agreed to meet the next day after school. I had made him a special desert as a token of my appreciation for his incredible help. But the thing is, when we were at school, I didn't see him very often. We didn't hang out, other than the times we met at the library for our tutoring sessions or when he'd watch me play volleyball from the bleachers.
"So, I followed him the next day." I finally say. "I saw him for the first-time during lunch and I figured, why not surprise him by following him around. I thought he was playing hooky, since he would skip classes a lot. Little did I know, I was mistaken."
"Why? What happened?"
I smile bitterly as I reminisce every detail from that day. "He took the bus, and I went in with him. He was sitting at the very front while I settled somewhere in the back and we get off right there," I gesture at the bus stop across the street. "Come with me," I say to him, and he looks at me strangely. "It's okay." I say, holding onto his arm.
"Where are we going?" He asks.
"You'll see."
"You're not planning on murdering me and then throwing my body off a cliff, right?"
"Why would I want to murder you and throw your body off a cliff when you make me feel so wonderful?" I say and he grins playfully.
We walk together towards the woods, and I lead him to the path I took three years ago when I was seventeen, wandering freely into the forest as I was tailing Yoongi. Towering trees are surrounding every little corner and I feel so small event though my shoes make me slightly taller than Jimin. They cover the entire sky and sunrays pierce through every little crook and cranny they can find until they graze the earth. Once we reach the clearing at the end of the forest, we cross the road that leads to the black gates of the Odd Fellow Cemetery.
Jimin doesn't say a word as we enter the cemetery and I hold his hand in mine as we walk through the endless gravestones. I was expecting him to ask more questions, but I'm amazed at his patience. When we reach our destination, I stop right in front of the headstone I found Yoongi three years ago.
"I followed him here that day," I manage to say and Jimin squints his eyes to read the writing on the headstone. "Yoongi got really mad at me and lashed out. He said some very cruel things to me and honestly, I couldn't blame him at the time. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt."
"26th November, that's today's date."
"Yeah..."
"Seven," he says in a whisper. "Who is that Nox?"
"It's my older brother." A familiar raspy voice suddenly answers.
We both spin around shocked, only to see Yoongi standing behind us with a hand stuffed in the pockets of his windbreaker. He's holding a bouquet of lilies on his free hand. Jimin looks at Yoongi and then back at me with a slightly pissed off face, but now that he has found out the truth, I can tell that he doesn't know how he should react.
"Today is the day my brother died three years ago." Yoongi says, taking a few strides towards the headstone in front of us. He touches the cold surface with his bare hand when he kneels to place the bouquet on the ground as his back is facing us.
"How did he die?"
"Overdose."
"I'm sorry," Jimin says.
"That's no excuse for being a dick to you Sev-I mean Jimin." Yoongi stammers. "So, I'm the one who's sorry. I've had a lot on my mind, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Sorry for being a dick. And sorry for this lame ass apology. I'm truly fucking sorry for the shit I said. Your friends aren't rats. Not all of them at least." I elbow him in the gut, and he pinches my arm and twists the skin, in return causing me to whine because of the stinging pain shooting through me.
"It's okay man," Jimin grins.
"So, are we good?"
"We're good."
"Does that mean we're still going to Idaho Falls?"
Jimin laughs. "We're still going to Idaho Falls."
Now it's my turn to smile from ear to ear, so I swing my arms around both and hold them close to me. "I'm so happy you guys made up!" I squeal. "Let's hug it out now!" Yoongi scrunches his nose in disgust while Jimin and I squeeze Yoongi in a tight hug.
"I can feel my intestines getting sandwiched by the both of you." He groans. "Seriously, I know you adore me, but I'll explode."
When we get off Yoongi, Jimin pinches him on the arm, and he lets out a loud shriek.
"What the fuck was that for?" He snaps.
"That's for hurting my girlfriend." Jimin answers.
watched batman last night at the movies. so worth it🦇