Nox
Three years ago...
The next day, I meet Yoongi at the library just like we agreed yesterday and that's when I realize for the first time that I don't have any of his socials or his number, so when he's shows up late after fifteen minutes, I try my best not to show my disappointment at his lack of punctuality because he seems a little bit stressed.
He's wearing the same clothes as yesterday and the same windbreaker. The same black baseball cap is sitting on his head, concealing his eyes from the rest of the world while black spikes of hair fall over his face. Strangely enough, he smells like detergent despite wearing the same clothes all the time. His steps are heavy, and his gaze focused on the floor rather than what's in front of him. Once he reaches our spot, he puts his black backpack down and plops down on the chair next to me, not saying a word.
"Hi, Yoongi." I say calmly. "Is everything okay?"
But then he turns to me and gives me a widespread smile that almost convinces me that the sadness I saw clouding him whole was completely fake.
"Yeah," he chimes. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know, you seemed a little off when you walked in."
"Sorry, I was late." He tells me while scratching the nape of his neck. "Got a little distracted on the way."
"It's okay," I assure him and, in that moment, as I gaze into his eyes, I see dark circles framing them. "If you're tired, we can re-schedule for another time."
"No, it's alright. I need a distraction." He mutters as he looks through his bag.
A distraction from what?
I take out my copy of 'Lolita' and put it on the desk while he rummages through his things for notes when I catch the unmistakable scent of weed; it smelled just like his car. I sit straight on my chair and narrow my eyes in his backpack when he finally zips it shut and puts it back on the floor.
"So, where were we left off?" He finally asks and with that he flips through the pages of my copy and begins the tutoring session.
Three hours go by without a single break and my hand is strained from jotting down notes. My brain feels like a heavy boulder in my head and the walls of my skull aren't big enough to contain it. Yoongi was an impeccable teacher as usual, but I could tell that something was wrong, and he only continued talking and talking nonstop because he wanted to keep his mind off things.
At some point, I got tired of writing, so I asked him to stop for five minutes and much to my luck he complied. During our session, he had one hand clutching the fabric of his jeans and his leg was fidgeting. I could tell he was nervous about something, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him what was troubling him. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.
"Let's stop here, because I think I'm starting to bore you with all this shit." Yoongi finally announces and with that the lesson comes to a close.
He doesn't ask me about the payment I owe him; I don't know whether he's forgotten all about it or he's simply ashamed to ask, but I gather up all of my things and once I shut my bag, I take his hand in mine and drag him out of the library.
"What are you doing?" He asks. "Where are we going."
Once we're outside of the library, I let go of his hand and unzip my bag to take out a container filled with the beef tacos I made this morning.
"Hold this," I tell him, and he takes the container as I take out a second smaller container with a fruit salad and cream on the side.
"I don't know what is going on with you Yoongi that made you so sad and gloomy, but a payment is a payment and if this won't cheer you up, I honestly don't know what will."
He stares at me aghast, and I almost laugh in front of his face. "I'm not going to ask what's up with you, because we don't know each other all that well and I don't want to intrude with your business, but if there's one thing you have to know about me; is that I'm a fucking decent cook. My skills are going to blow your mind and if my food doesn't immediately lighten your mood then you're a full-blown sociopath." Yoongi is still speechless and his brows furrow in confusion. "Open it."
He opens the container and sees the three beef tacos, so I lead him to the stairs and sit him down while I unwrap my sandwich and dig in shamelessly. Yoongi holds out one of the tacos and takes a large bite. His facial expression changes completely and dare I say his eyes are shut as he's savoring the mouthwatering treat, I made him. I woke up at six am to prepare this meal for him and I even had to ask the cafeteria lady to keep the fruit salad in the fridge so that the cream doesn't spoil throughout the day.
"Wow," he says, his mouth full. "Nox?"
"Yeah?"
"I think I just had an orgasm." He says in a dead serious tone.
"Yes!" I cheer to myself, and he chuckles after stuffing the rest of the remaining taco in his mouth.
"I didn't think you'd remember." He mutters after taking out the second taco.
"A payment is a payment." I state. "Besides, this is a token of my appreciation for you helping me out. I don't mind bringing you things to eat since you seem to enjoy what I made. If you'd like I can whip something up for you tomorrow too."
"If I'd like-" he practically huffs. "I'd fucking kill for more of these delicious tacos."
"Great, it's settled then." I smile.
"Wait, are you serious?"
"Yeah,"
"Look I don't want to be weird and all so if you don't have time to do this you know you don't have to cook stuff for me right?"
"I know I don't have to." I shrug. "But I want to."
***
A few weeks later...
When the bell rings, I gather up my textbooks and pencil case, shoving them in my bag before rising from my seat. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I make my way to the door, pacing between the desks and my classmates who are busy chatting.
My friend Carson, who also happens to be my teammate in practice, loops an arm into mine when she says, "Ready to practice some sets?" My leg has healed over the past week, and I made sure to take it easy for the sake of the team. The last thing I want to do is disappoint them, by acting recklessly.
"Yep,"
"Make sure to take it easy." She tells me. "You need to let your body adapt."
"I'll be fine Carson."
We have a mock competition scheduled a week from today and I need to get in shape as fast as I can. I need to practice hard to face the other team. The mock competition will serve as experience since we will be facing one of Sunleth's most commendable volleyball teams. Facing all those praiseworthy teams means that we will hone our skills and test the limits of our own abilities. That way we can work harder into extending said limits to tear down all those powerhouses.
I'm excited to get back out there.
"I'm just saying lady, you have a tendency of getting overly competitive." Carson chimes. "Don't want you to injure yourself again alright?"
I pat her shoulder and offer her an assuring smile. "I appreciate your concern Cars. I'll try my best to not go crazy 'kay?"
"That's all I need to hear."
We're about to leave the classroom when I hear my name being called and I stop near the doorframe.
"Ms. Wilson." Mr. Heather, my literature professor says. "May I have a word with you please?"
"Sure," I mutter as I play with the drawstrings of my favorite hoodie. The classroom clears out in a matter of minutes and I'm just sitting still with my back against the wall as I wait for everyone to step outside. Carson waits next to me, and our professor gives her a nod.
"I'll meet you in the field." She tells me and with that she exits the room.
"Is everything okay?" I ask awkwardly.
"You tell me." Mr. Heather takes out a few papers from his folder and puts them on his desk, gesturing at me to take a look at them. He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes before putting them back on with a tired sigh. I pick up the papers and that's when I realize it's my paper for 'Lolita'. A big bold red 'A' with a splotch of red ink is sitting on the right side of the paper right next to my name and a smile creeps its way to my face.
"A-are you sure this is mine?" I ask, my voice shaky. "I mean, it has my name on it and this is my handwriting, but that's an A-"
"Your essay was remarkable Ms. Wilson." My teacher says to me. "You tackled every subject with such grace and accuracy it's almost astonishing. From the way you analyzed Humbert's perspective and Nabokov's trickery all the way to your final statement about Dolores and how you thought that might have been interesting to view things from her perspective. From the perspective of a minor, a child who could possibly be the true deviant. If we take away your spelling mistakes, your essay was truly enlightening."
I grab onto the desk to steady myself as I smile widely. This is the first time I received good feedback on my essay.
"And that begs the question, were you the one who conducted this essay Ms. Wilson?" He inquires, tapping his fingers on the table.
"W-what?"
"Were you the one who wrote this essay?" He asks again.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Mr. Heather. I was the one wrote the essay." I hold my ground and straighten my back. "I know that my academic record isn't convincing enough, but I will set the record straight and tell you that I wrote this essay. It's the truth. You can even see my spelling mistakes." He doesn't seem convinced, so I clutch the strap of my bag.
"I had a little bit of help at first, because I had trouble concentrating, but I wrote every single word on that essay. Everything you read, stemmed from my own trail of thought, my analysis of the subject." That's when I open my bag and take out my notebook where I kept all the notes from my tutoring sessions with Yoongi. I place it down in front of the teacher then zip my bag up. "Those are my notes." Mr. Heather opens the textbook and flips through the pages with furrowed brows.
"The truth is, I needed help in the beginning. My grades were dragging me down, and I was told that if I don't improve my GPA, it will risk my position in volleyball. I needed to get better, and I was lucky enough to receive the help that I needed. However, I didn't cheat, nor did I plagiarize this paper. And this A," I hold up my essay in front of him, "I earned it." Mr. Heather stares at me speechless and I get goosebumps from how intensely he's looking at me.
"Well done Ms. Wilson." He finally says clapping both hands. "I hope your efforts will come to fruition."
After that I thank him, then excuse myself after retrieving both my essay and textbook. Unfortunately, I haven't seen Yoongi around the school today to tell him the good news, so I pull out my phone and shoot a text at him on Instagram.
who_is_noctis: hey!
who_is_noctis: Heather said my essay was so good, he thought I plagiarized it. Are you in class?
I wait for a few minutes for him to respond to my texts, but he doesn't so I guess the stuff I made will go to waste. I guess, I'll give it to one of the girls at practice.
With long, confident strides, I make my way to the field where I'm supposed to meet Carson and the others when I notice a large bus parked near the pavement and the team's manager has gathered up everyone for an announcement. Carson notices me arriving and gestures at me to come quickly. By the time I make it to the crowd, everyone's getting ready to enter the bus and I sigh disappointed that I missed it.
"You made it!" Carson squeals. "You won't believe it Nox, Manager has found us a new training court! It's indoors and has showers!"
"Really?" I smile. "That's awesome news."
"Yeah, I'm so excited! You're lucky you didn't train out in the field with us because of your ankle." She mewls. "Also, why did Heather called you in earlier?" I look ahead as Astrid enters the bus with Camila and then some other girls go inside. Rika notices me in the back and elbows through the crowd to get to us.
"Oh, it's nothing, he just wanted to tell me about my paper."
"Ugh, did he criticize the things you wrote?" She huffs.
"No, actually he called me in to give me feedback on my essay." I tell her. "He said it was remarkable."
"No, shit!"
"Everything alright here?" Rika suddenly intervenes. "Did you hear the news, Nox? We're finally getting a volleyball court."
"Yeah, Carson filled me in."
She looks down at my ankle when she says, "Don't work too hard today."
"Jesus, what's up with you guys?" I ask with a laugh hooking an arm around each one of them.
"We don't wanna lose our best decoy." Carson replies, giving me a hug. Rika on the other hand is more aloof.
"Just make sure you don't get injured again." She says to me and that's when Coach calls out our names and tells us to enter the bus. I take a seat with Rika at the back while Rika settles somewhere in the front all alone. I think it's because she doesn't want to get neck to neck with Beatrix.
Things were always tense between the two girls ever since our previous captain, Arden moved to Montreal and while Beatrix makes an incredible setter, sometimes she gets carried away and takes a lot more than she can handle. I mean, she's the main contributor when it comes to offense, and she has more than what it takes to delicately send the ball to whomever she deems fit. And as her teammate I applaud her talent and her gifts as a player, but as a leader she has lost my respect after what she pulled off in our previous match.
I think that was the day she had lost the entire team's respect.
Everyone simply gave up on her.
Ever since Arden left, she declared herself as the new captain and just like that everyone complied. Everyone's either too scared to go up against her or they simply don't care anymore after the two humiliating losses we had faced last year.
Rika on the other hand, had plenty to contribute to the situation, but instead of approaching Beatrix calmly to discuss things she just handled it passive-aggressively because she hates confronting others and that resulted in the two of them going head-to-head.
I always thought that either Rika or Carson should have taken Arden's place, but Rika is just way too detached and while Carson is the glue that keeps us all together as a team, she gets anxious easily and that can sometimes bring down the team's morale.
The irony is that I was worrying so much about my grades bringing me down when it's the team itself that needs to be reconstructed.
And I don't know what to do to fix it.
***
the_real_yg: I didn't come to school today
the_real_yg: that's incredible N. good job. Very proud of you. Tell me more tm?
I'm walking down the street with my tote bag slung over my shoulder. I ran over to the grocery store right after practice to purchase all the ingredients I need to prepare Yoongi's 'payment' for tomorrow when I see him at school. I'm afraid I won't be able to verbally express how thankful I am for his assistance, because without all his effort I wouldn't have managed to land that A. Which is why I'm planning on pouring all my appreciation into my cooking and hopefully Yoongi is going to enjoy the little surprise I have for him.
As soon as I get home, I get straight to work.
I go up the stairs of my porch while balancing my tote bag on my shoulder, my cellphone in one hand as I text Yoongi back and my house key on the other hand.
who_is_noctis: is everything ok?
As soon as I push open the door, I am surprised to find the house completely empty, but then again, it's only eight. However, that means I have the entire house all to myself and I can focus on cooking without having to worry about any distractions. Cooking is frankly one of the few things I can do flawlessly and I'm always dead focused during the procedure.
The plan is to make a tres leches cake. It's a Mexican cake and it basically means 'three kinds of milk' since the key ingredients are evaporated milk, whipped cream and sweetened condensed milk. I'm thinking about adding something sour to balance out the sweetness of the cake like raspberries and perhaps some strawberries since I got them.
Once I preheat the oven, I measure all the ingredients I have in front of me into their proper places then butter a casserole dish. I had already made the whipped cream frosting the day before so I can focus all my undivided attention on the cake.
I set up three mixing bowls where I work my magic with separated egg whites and egg yolks and using the electric mixer, I beat the yolks until they turn into a pale yellow. I proceed by stirring with some milk and vanilla extract. Then I return to the egg whites and beat them on high speed with the mixer until they inherit a soft form.
Holding the mixer in one hand, I reach for the remaining sugar in the cup and pour it in. The white substance finally has the stiff texture I wanted, so I turn off the mixer. I pour the egg yolk mix over the flour mixture with a spatula and once I add the egg white, I pour the batter into the pan and that's when I put it into the oven to bake for a half hour.
As I wait for it to bake, I reach for my phone on the kitchen counter only to read the text I received from Yoongi.
the_real_yg: why wouldn't I be ok?
That is exactly what he told me the day I asked him if he was okay in the library.
He's always answering a question with a question.
That is starting to get on my nerves, so I don't respond. I don't want to risk saying something mean. But then he sends me another text and I read it right away.
the_real_yg: sorry, it's been a rough day.
I bite my lip as I text back.
who_is_noctis: whatever it is, you'll pull through
who_is_noctis: i mean, you managed to make a slacker like me a fabulous writer. you are a hero;)
the_real_yg: that actually made me laugh..
the_real_yg: thanks Nox:)
I smile as I read his response and that's when the alarm for the cake rings.
who_is_noctis: I'm preparing your payment now. Gotta go.
the_real_yg: it saddens me that this will be the last payment I'll receive from you..
I put my phone on the counter then wear mittens to take out the cake from the oven. I put the casserole dish down then return to Yoongi's text.
who_is_noctis: it doesn't have to be the last...
Part of me doesn't want the tutoring to stop because it's incredibly beneficial for my academic performance, but there's another part of me that is gnawing at me, begging to keep him around for as long as possible because his presence is like a breath of fresh air. I always enjoy hanging out with him.
who_is_noctis: you know... I have trouble with Algebra and Trig
the_real_yg: I'll think about it
the_real_yg: g'night Nox
For some reason his indirect answer felt like a sucker-punch in the gut. Deep down, I wanted him to accept tutoring me. I know I can't be selfish because he invested so much time in me for just one subject and he probably has more interesting things to do other than tutor me for free. However, I'll always appreciate the help he gave me.
who_is_noctis: good night Yoongi.
hope you guys liked this!
love ya❤️