Jimin
Since I had nothing better to do today, Sam decided it would be the perfect opportunity to call me to hang out at the university while Dylan is doing conducting research at the microbiology lab and since Sam is part of the basketball team in PSU, he figured it would be a good idea to have me dressed in the team's uniform and take part in a practice match. I reluctantly agreed because it's been years since I've played basketball. However, I'm familiar with most of the guys on the team because we were friends back when I lived at the frat house.
What Sam forgot to mention though, was the fact that Hunter would be there. He didn't seem pleased to see me hanging around Sam when we got there and how the rest of the team was centered around us for the most part and he kept flashing me dirty looks. I still haven't gotten over what he did to Cassie and even though Cassie refuses to talk to me about it; I can't shake off the urge of beating up that scum every time I see him. I don't give a shit because the dude is problematic and if anything, I'll punch the living shit out of him again if he gives me attitude while we're here.
Namjoon can't do anything about it, and I doubt that the guys here will want to stop an exciting fight, so the odds fall in my favor.
"Hey fuckers, we're having a newbie here for today's practice!" Sam howls over at the group and everyone pays attention to him.
"That Park?" says Andrew Foster, the captain of the basketball team. "Dude who beat the shit out of Hunter?"
"Didn't know you had it in you man." Continues Jack Michaelson, the guy who lived across the hall when I was still at the frat house. He gives me a fist bump when he sees me and smiles, "I didn't see you at all after the commotion though."
"I went home to sober up." I say lowly and notice Hunter from the corner of my eye taking a seat on the bleachers.
"So how come you're here today? Not that I'm complaining. It's good to have you here Park."
"Sam thought it would be a good idea to hang out with you guys since I'm done with classes for the day."
"Alright, enough chit chat! Everyone gather around now." Andrew calls out the entire team and everyone settles in the middle of the court.
"Who's the newbie?" asks a foreign voice out of nowhere and I turn only to face a taller guy in the team's uniform. I've never seen him here before and once he gets closer; I can't shake away that feeling of déjà vu. He's tall, dark haired, he's got a hawk-like nose and his mouth forms a straight line.
"That's Jimin Park, Sam's friend." Andrew explains.
"Is that so?" the new guy remarks. "Oh, well I'm Cameron, but you can just call me Cam." He extends his hand and I shake it. The guy grins to himself before walking away towards the bleachers where his bag is sitting right next to Hunter. He takes out his phone and sends out a quick text before shoving it back into his bag and then returns to the court.
Moments later, the game begins with a tip-off. Matthew, the referee throws the ball into the air in the center circle where Jack and Cam leap up in order to tap it away. Cam is in the lead when he taps the ball and passes it to his teammate. Sam tails after him and when he attempts to pass the ball to someone else, I dash over to block him then send the ball over to Andrew. The game continues, the basketball is being passed through numerous hands when we finally score our first two points by free throwing inside the three-point line; and I'm proud to say that I was involved in our first win.
Hunter glares daggers at me and I deliberately bump on him as I make my way towards my side of the court while Cam seems amused.
We proceed with the game, and I honestly didn't expect myself to be enjoying this as much as I do. Everyone was pretty encouraging so it only made me happier that I was here today. The game comes to an end in about an hour or so and everyone heads straight to the showers. I wait for Sam to collect his things because we decided we'll head back to his place and then maybe swing by the Sage when I notice a figure enter the court. The guy heads towards Cam and gives him a nod when his eyes examine each and every player on the court until they fall on me. My blood turns cold when I see him.
"Elijah," I say his name with venom and Sam looks up at me.
"You know this guy?"
"Let's go Sam." I tell him and as I look at the two guys chatting in the corner, I finally remember that new guy Cameron; I've seen him before in the club Nox and I went to when she wanted to treat me. He was talking to her for a while and even though I can't recollect a lot of things from that night, I remember Nox avoiding talking about this guy.
I didn't know Elijah was attending PSU.
And since this guy is good friends with him, I should better avoid getting into trouble.
For Nox' sake.
Later in the day, Sam gathers up everyone in his house for a guys' night since it has been a few weeks since we've all hung out altogether. During guys night, we usually play videogames on Sam's smart TV or do stupid shit like get drunk out of our minds while Sam and Taehyung smoke weed in the corner; Dylan and I film them in order to mock them the next day and then once they're completely shitfaced, we fuck with them further by adding chili into their drinks, or by having them wake up buried in a pile of mud in the backyard. I remember there was a time when Taehyung and I planned on pranking the lightweight of the group, Dylan by giving him a nonalcoholic drink without him knowing just to see how he'd react, only for the placebo effect to work its magic into Dylan's ignorant mind. Another time, we burnt the edges of Sam' straw and Taehyung and I watched him struggle as he was trying his hardest to sip his drink.
"Is this nonalcoholic beer?" Dylan asks as he picks up a bottle of beer from the fridge.
"No, it's regular beer bud." I assure him.
He pops open the bottle and takes a sip. "If you sorry bastards try to make a fool out of me like you did last time, I'll make you crawl back into your mother's womb."
The only difference about tonight's gathering is the fact that Nox is attending as well. I texted Cassie to join us if she has time and she responded saying that she's on her way. The guys and I are hanging by the television, Taehyung, Dylan and Nox are seated in one corner talking about their day and multitasking by playing Mario Kart, while Sam and I are on the opposite side. However, I don't contribute much to the conversation since each time I move a muscle, Taehyung flashes me a murderous glare, so I mind my own business and stay out of his hair.
I'm not in the mood to argue with him tonight.
Nox on the other hand sucks at Mario Kart and Taehyung laughs at her each time she crashes onto an obstacle. Her eyes are glued to the screen in concentration. She's playing as baby Peach in the game and she's currently in sixth place. I observe her part of the screen as she speeds through Waluigi's Stadium in a pink stroller vehicle and once she makes it past Dylan, her lips tilt up into a giddy grin.
Her knuckles are as white as the Wii console, and I silently chuckle at the pouty face she makes during the match. She's trying her hardest to keep her cool and as soon as Dylan throws her a red shell in the game, her eyes widen like plates.
"Oh my god, I swear Dylan if you throw a red shell at me again, I'll castrate you." Nox blasts and everyone erupts into laughter.
"Damn Nox, chill a bit will ya?" Sam muses.
"I'm sorry! This is the first time I made it past fifth place. You aren't stealing my moment away from me Luigi!"
"You're doing great sweetheart," Taehyung praises her and wraps an arm around her.
Meanwhile, Taehyung is still giving me the cold shoulder like he has been doing for several weeks now. In a way I can't blame him, I did make a move on Nox when he declared beforehand that he wanted her for himself. I was drunk and I wasn't thinking straight.
I acted strictly on impulse.
And what's worse is that I don't regret anything.
I don't regret dancing with her.
I don't regret holding her close to me.
But the thing is, that ever since that night Nox has been keeping me at arm's length. Except maybe for the time, we visited Yoongi at the hospital together, but other than that she only speaks to me when she bumps onto me in the front yard. She stopped bringing me treats from the patisserie, so I had to stop getting her morning coffee. I don't see her as much as I used to and it bothers me, however I don't do anything about it because I don't have the right to act on it.
She's not mine.
"Taehyung don't touch me I'm driving." Nox grits out and instead of listening to her, Taehyung reaches out to her and plants a cheek on her cheek. "Tae, c'mon."
He then puts a hand on her thigh and rubs it affectionately before looking up at me warningly. When his hand climbs into her inner thigh, Nox pushes it away while taking a sharp intake of breath and when she glances over at my side, I avert my gaze.
The doorbell suddenly chimes, signifying that Cassie has finally arrive just when the match ends, so I hurry over to open the door in order to greet her.
"Hey, darling I hope I wasn't late," Cassie smiles.
"You're cool," I say.
"Is that Cass?" Sam calls. "Get ready to get your ass handed to you in Mario Kart!"
"I'll wipe the floor with you bitch." She throws. "Hi, guys!"
"Hey Cassie," Taehyung waves at her.
She runs a hand through her curly hair before grabbing a console. She tries to find an empty spot on the couch when she spots Nox. "We have a new addition to guys night?" She pipes. "Is that why you're playing Mario Kart all of a sudden?"
"Oh, right Cassie that's Nox, Nox..." Taehyung seems unsure of what to say next when he lets out a sigh and continues "this is Cassie." Nox gets up to shake Cassie's hand.
"Very nice to meet ya." Cassie beams and Nox seems to be taken aback from the bright energy she exudes.
"Likewise," Nox musters a smile then plops down on the sofa. "You look kinda familiar," She starts and tips her chin skeptically.
"She was at the Devil's Night Sigma Delta Phi frat party. You might have seen her crazy ass then." Sam explains and Nox nods affirmatively.
"Oh, that's right! You came with Jimin."
"Yep, I came with my darling." She muses. "Wherever he goes I go."
Nox's eyes widen. She looks at Cassie first and then me. "Wait, are you guys..."
"Ew, no." She snorts.
"Nope, not like that." I say at the same time. "We know each other a very long time is all."
"He's like my brother from another mama." She moons and gives me a light punch on the arm. "Would gut a human and create a necklace made of teeth out of the person who hurts him."
"Cass that's like the sweetest thing you've ever said for me." I smile.
"Don't get used to it."
"Now we can play battles in teams!" Dylan suddenly chimes and since we don't all fit on the couch, Sam and Cassie end up sitting on the rug on the floor while I'm forced to sit next to Nox. Taehyung draws her close to him and I clench my fists around my console.
"What's a battle?" Nox asks lowly.
"We will basically split up in teams and whichever team collects the most coins within the time limit wins." Taehyung replies.
"'Kay, thank you." She kisses his cheek, and a bitter feeling clenches my stomach.
Once everyone chooses their players and teams, Cassie picks the course, and the coin battle begins. Everyone is immersed playing, trying to collect as many coins as possible. Nox is in the same team as Sam and I and when baby Peach approaches my baby Luigi, she speeds away and accidentally falls into a trap.
Taehyung must be relieved she's avoiding me in the virtual world as much as the real one.
At some point, the blue light from my console fades into black signifying that it's out of battery.
"Sam, you got any double As?"
"In the drawer in my closet." Sam grits out and that's when Cassie delivers a bomb at him, causing him to lose half of his coins. "Cassie get fucked! It's on now!"
"Too late now, y'all are just steppingstones to my victory!" Cassie boasts confidently.
"You can't leave now Park! Our team is suffering!"
"Need those batteries Sam." I mutter then lift my body off the sofa. I hurry to his bedroom and shut the door behind me to catch a quick breath. I hate this.
I hate feeling this way.
It's fucking stupid.
She's not even mine and here I am overthinking everything Taehyung and Nox do. They're a couple of course they hold fucking hands and kiss. Of course, he's going to caress her leg in public and of course she's going to kiss his cheek.
If only I wasn't a fucking coward from the very start, then this wouldn't have happened.
This.
What even is 'this'?
Fuck it, whatever it is.
I don't need this.
I head towards Sam's closet and open the door. I make sure to open the one with the drawers he uses as a storage place when I feel for the battery pack. I open the pack and the batteries that fall into my palm are triple As.
"Where the fuck are they?" I mutter to myself and when I fail at finding them, I reach for the light switch.
Once I finally find the double As, I close the door and turn around when I catch a glimpse of a familiar Nirvana shirt in a pile of clothing on the side. I immediately recognize the graphite-colored T-shirt with the yellow Nirvana logo on the chest. This is supposed to be my shirt, so how did it get here?
I head towards the pile of clothing and pick up the shirt, lifting it up to my face. It smells like rainwater, cinnamon and apple spice.
That's when I remember the night Evelyn dropped by my apartment uninvited one rainy night in order to ask for two grand. She desperately needed the money to repay her dept to her uncle and our encounter only resulted in a heated argument. I never gave her money, because she really aggravated me that night and then she took off, but I never knew what she did afterwards.
Or where she went.
Evelyn never told me how she managed to collect the money.
So why is this here?
"Will you tell me why you need the five grand?" I purposely change the subject, because I don't want to talk about Nox with her.
"Look, Jimin either you trust me, or you don't." Evelyn states firmly and I raise my case. "What's it gonna be?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" My ex glares at me in surprise when I snap at her. "You're talking about trust when you never even earned that from my side. When we were together, I gave you everything. My companionship, my support and I even gave up opportunities I won't be able to regain. You're talking about trust when you've never trusted me with what's going on in your head. You're talking about trust when you would come home drunk, wearing the same clothes as the other day and when my best friend's boyfriend passes and I try to stand by her, you force me to choose between you and her." Evelyn looks down at the ground in silence as I continue pouring everything out "You've never trusted me. I was nothing but a safety net for you. You announce your boundaries with no further consideration about anything and expect everyone around you to cooperate. And now you have the audacity to come to my apartment after we've broken up to ask me for a shit ton of cash when you don't even trust to tell me the reason you need it."
"Jimin"
"Fuck you and your trust." I snap. "I don't need you. We're no longer together, so now whatever kind of trust you're searching from me, you have to earn it."
"About those nights," she says lamely, "it wasn't easy. I wasn't in control."
"Of course, you weren't in fucking control when you drove back home wasted."
"You're right-you're absolutely right but...you wouldn't understand."
I huff. "For all I know you could have cheated on me." Evelyn winces at my words and I shake my head. "But you know what? I don't care. You're not my responsibility. If you want five grand tell me why you need it otherwise you can get it from somewhere else." Her silence right now is alarming, causing chills to rain down my spine.
Because she never denied it.
The sound of the door crackling open behind me makes me turn around.
"Jimin, buddy did you find the batteries?" Sam asks. "We're dying out there! Nox and I need you." His gaze falls on the shirt in my hand and he swallows harshly.
"Can you explain this to me?" I ask, my voice devoid of emotion. When he doesn't say anything, I shake my head worriedly.
Please don't let it be what I'm thinking.
Please.
"Can you explain this to me?" I repeat, my grip tightening around the fabric. "What is this doing here?"
"Jimin," Sam mutters. "I-I"
"This is my shirt," I start. "Evelyn liked wearing it, so we shared it. What is my fucking shirt doing over in your bedroom Sam?" I ask hoarsely, gritting my teeth.
"She needed money." Sam says. "She was in a hurdle, so I helped her."
"Is that so?" I ask coldly.
"We didn't do anything, I swear."
"I never said you did." I walk slowly toward him, and he doesn't move an inch. "Evelyn came over to my apartment first. She was desperate, in need of money; she even demanded that I should give her from my savings account. She asked me to trust her." I pause for a little while before looking back at him. "But she never gave me a reason to do so."
He cowers under my gaze and that only makes my blood boil.
"Out of all places, why would she come here? To you?" I finally say.
The bedroom door opens further and that's when Dylan steps in. "Dude, how long does it take to find some batteries?" He chimes, but I pay no mind to him.
"Jimin," Sam mutters, his eyes falling on the ground. He lets out a sigh of defeat before running a hand through his hair.
"Why the fuck would she come to you next!" My body moves on its own accord when I lurch over at Sam, grabbing him from both sides and pushing him against the wall. "Why the hell did she come here Sam! Answer me damn it!" I exclaim, driving my fist on the wall behind him.
"Jimin, dude calm down!" Dylan approaches me, but I'm not having any of it as I push him onto the other wall. "Fuck off Dylan. Stay out of this."
"What the fuck is going on?" Taehyung intervenes. He enters the room with Nox and they're staring at the both of us.
I return to Sam who is still looking down on the floor with guilt. "You're not going to answer?" I slam my fist on the wall once again when I say, "You're not going to fucking answer me you piece of shit!"
"I'm sorry Jimin." Is all that he says.
"Why?" I throw a punch on the wall. "Why Sam! Why!" My fist collides against his face and that's when Taehyung tries to separate us when I shake him off and he groans in frustration. "Why?" I hit him again and at this point he doesn't even bother to stop me. It's hard to articulate with words what I'm feeling right now. Fury burns through my veins, while my teeth like tectonic plates are grinding together. The sound of my blood pulsing is ringing in my ears while red is painting the lenses of my vision. Anger, fury burns inside of me like magma and my body is like a volcano ready to erupt; my fists are clenched so tightly that my nails are digging into my palms. The skin has broken and blood flows. I can't fucking believe that one of my closest friends betrayed me in the most unimaginable way making a fool out of me. The sight of that scum is making my skin crawl; I can't stand being within sniffing distance with him, but I need to hear him say it. I'll break him into a million pieces just to hear him say what he did.
"Tell me what you did bastard." I punt him in the ribs then headbutt him in the face. Blood trickles from his nose, hot and runny, while more and more blood pools up in his mouth. "I want to hear you fucking say it!"
"Jimin stop it!" Cassie shrieks. She tries to stop me, but Dylan grabs her arm. "Please,"
"Jimin calm down." Nox says to me and just when I'm about to drive another punch into his disgusting face, she stands in front of him.
"Nox, get the fuck away from there!" Taehyung yells.
But instead of my fist aiming straight ahead, I change its course midway until it collides against the wall behind her. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins like blood, so I don't feel the slightest bit of pain, despite the purple and yellow hues that paint my skin.
Frightened jade jewels gaze into my soul, piercing it with the emotion seeping through them and even though it kills me to see her look at me like that, I don't want to hear anything.
I don't want to see anything.
Dylan finally drags Sam out of the room, while Taehyung returns to Nox when he pushes me away from her.
"Are you fucking crazy!" He shouts at me. "You could have hurt her!"
I know.
Taehyung begins shaking me, just to earn a reaction out of me when Nox grabs his arm.
"Jimin. Jimin!"
"Stop-stop it!" she says. "He's hurt."
Nox grabs my bruised hand, holding it up to him. When she looks into my eyes, I immediately know that she understands that it's not just the physical pain.
"Let's patch you up."
I don't want anything from you.
You're not mine.
"Nox," I whisper. "Please go to Sam."
"Jimin," she gasps.
"I don't want to do this anymore."